Look out ....it's the towel ray!!!!!

I think that's the one that got the Crocodile Hunter!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah that's very interestin...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Yeah, I love it when you dicusss these important politcal matters it just so...............ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hurry up, we have to get to the mall before Canada closes!

I managed to cajole everyone to leave the immediate area of the ship to take a little walk. We went to the Market Square Mall and waterfront district which was about a block away from the ship. But that was about as far as most of the family would go. Walking is just not their thing. Suburban kids never walk anywhere. They are used to riding in the minivan or the SUV. So the idea of just walking around town to check out the sites just freaked them out.

Not that there is a lot to see in Canada.

They killed Independent George.

Costanza looks a lot different in real life. Just sayn'

Has anyone told PETA?

Has anyone told PETA that there is a lot of abuse of towel animals going on in the cruise industry.

I am pretty sure that one of our waiters is having sex with them. Just sayn'

When Sarah Palin is President......

Every kid will have his own pet moose.

Why am I am I always sitting at the Kiddie table of life?

"Yeah sure. I will watch all the pocketbooks. And the Baby. Just bring me back a couple of hot dogs. And a beer. And none of that Canadian swill. A Guinness or a Bass Ale at the very least."

One question though?

"Okay everybody squish together so we can get a picture of you."
"Look at the camera. Smile."
"Pay attention. Look at me."
"One question though?"
"Why the fuck does Al Roker keep trying to get in the picture?"

Hey it's five o'clock somewhere!

Thank God that O'Leary's was open. We had hit it the last time we were in town and decided to get a quick drink before we got back on the ship.

One of the owners was there and introduced himself. But he was way too low key. He kept trying to get the bartenders attention but he kept ignoring us to screw around with his cronies. The guy kept apologizing to me but I didn't care. I just called over to the other bartender at the other end of the bar to get our drinks. You have to take control. This guy didn't have a clue. Thank God that it is not my job to teach these guys how to run a bar anymore.

Hey I found her! Let's get on the ship and get out of this rathole!

I finally found Tennille and we went back to the ship. Not before picking up some booty. Well some books. We bring our own booty wherever we go.

So to speak.

Why am I always sitting at the Kiddie Table of life?

I told the wife that I was not going to be responsible for any of these pack of kids while we were on the cruise. You see with went with the wife's sister and her in-laws and her best friend with all of her kids. A whole shitload of kids. There were three tables assigned to us. The sister-in law sat at one with her kids and her best friend and their husbands and her kids and her in-laws. Then there was another table with the rest of the in-laws. And then there was one with me the wife and our granddaughter.

Well first off all of her cousins wanted to sit with my granddaughter. Then all the friends kids wanted to sit with them too. So it ended up that it was me, the wife and about ten kids. Like it always does. We are at the kiddie table. Again. You see they all love their Aunt Lisa. She is always with the kids and talking with them and playing with them. She is a big old softie.

Me I am Old School. So I discipline them. Sit down stupid. Cut it out. Act like ladies and gentlemen. I taught them all about how to order wine and let them order off of the real menu. How to order a steak or a lobster. None of that chicken fingers bullshit. You need to learn that when you are five years old. Kids like it when you keep them in line.

HEY KID!! GET OFF OF MY LAWN!!!!

It started out so well....right until we lost site of the Statue of Liberty!

The cruise started out so well! The weather was great and we got a lot of great shots of the Statue of Liberty. They even filmed the wife and the granddaughter and me for the ship's video as I was shooting pictures of them as we left the harbor.

But the farther and farther we got away from Lady Liberty.....the colder and nastier it got.

That's why I tell the why I don't like to go past Atlantic Avenue if I can help it. Just sayn'

One question though?

"So why are we sitting here?"
"Oh we are just waiting for the kids to go to the bathroom and then we are going into the town."
"Cool. But one question though?"
"What's that?"
"What the fuck is Al Roker doing in Canada?"

Hey the water is freezing so lets catch up on our reading.

I mean I can't watch the game. It's nil/nil.

I would rather read a book about the invasion of Canada. Thank God we lost that one!

Foggy weather for the World Cup.

It was raining and foggy the whole freakin trip. All they did was blow the freakin fog horn. You know how romantic that sounds when it is off in the distance and you are sitting on your porch having some wine and looking at fog.

Well when you walking in front of the horn when it goes off it scares the shit out of you. It sounds like a fat guy farting on St Patricks day.

They put the World Cup on the big screen on the ship as we sailed back to New York. No one was in the pool because it was freezing. So they watched the World Cup and drank.

And blew the freakin fog horn.

Hey, I am back!

So we are back from our trip to Canada. The cruise was kind of tough because it was very cold and we didn't get any sun at all. Didn't even get to the pool once.

The cruise was five days and four nights so it wasn't too bad. There was only one day on shore at St Johns in New Brunswick Canada.

Now St. Johns is known as the loyalist city. This it the stone monument in Market Square which celebrates those tratiors who fled America during the revolution.

I do have to say that Canadian Beer is very overrated. A thin lager at the very best. But one thing it is good for. If you drink enough you can get a nice steady stream that can cover a whole monument from top to bottom. No problem.