Marathon Asshole!

Can you believe that they are going to run the NYC Marathon this weekend?

What a joke! People are just digging out of the debris and the cops have a lot of better things to do than be on route while a bunch of anorexic assholes run in their underwear. I mean they canceled the opening of the new stadium in Brooklyn where they were going to kick off the basketball season with the Brooklyn Nets playing the New York Knicks.

But they still intend to close the Verrazano Bridge and inconvience everyone!

Bloomberg is a douchebag.

Sometimes a commie is not such a nice guy....

Kindle is dangerous.

Since it is so cheap and easy to order books I get in trouble because I order a slew of stuff on a topic and I am amazed at what I get. I ordered a bunch of Hollywood biographies and autobiographies because I would be kind of ashamed of being in line at Barnes and Noble with a stack of books about Mae West and Joan Crawford. I mean I am interested in it but it not all that classy if you know what I mean.

So I got some of my favorites. Two or three books about John Wayne and John Ford, one about James Garner, one about Mae West and one about Robert Vaughn. I was hoping for some cool stuff about "The Magnificent Seven" or "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." Instead there was a lot of stuff about his protesting in the civil rights and antiwar movement. Which is fair enough as far as it goes but what was astounding is the guy's total lack of self knowledge. He writes and sounds like the biggest deluded douchenozzle that I have ever heard tell of in all my years of making fun of people. I mean the guy is a pompous, fatuous dimwit. It is amazing and fascinating. I know I have a bad habit of finding pompous douchebags interesting and comical but this dick takes the cake.

I hope he doesn't start a blog. Just sayn'

And his book is on the "Must Miss" list. At number one.

What a douche!

She's a good girl, loves her mama
Loves Jesus and America too
She's a good girl, crazy 'bout Elvis
Loves horses and her boyfriend too

It's a long day livin' in Reseda
There's a freeway runnin' through the yard
And I'm a bad boy, 'cause I don't even miss her
I'm a bad boy for breakin' her heart

And I'm free, I'm free fallin'

All the vampires walkin' through the valley
Move west down Ventura Blvd
And all the bad boys are standing in the shadows
All the good girls are home with broken hearts

And I'm free, I'm free fallin'

I wanna glide down over Mulholland
I wanna write her name in the sky
I wanna free fall out into nothin'
Gonna leave this world for awhile

And I'm free, I'm free fallin'

Television without pity is the worst website on the internet!

Television without pity is the worst website on the internet. Not because of the content which can be pretty good. But because of the amount of control that is excercised by the moderators.

I was banned twice under two different screen names. You see they want you to only talk about the episode. And only talk about what happened on a specific episode. Otherwise they savagely delete you, yell at you, warn you to stop and then ban you from posting. It can be simpliest thing. Yesterday I put up this post:

"I feel bad for Kim(Richards). I hope she finds help now and that she gets off the show because it seems to suck out her soul.

And I missed last week. Did Brandi get Botox on her nipples?"

Now the point of this post was the joke about Brandies nipples. You see in the previous episode she didn't wear a bra and Kyle Richards was making fun of her and pointed her laser pointer at her nipples and made fun of her. This week she didn't wear a bra in Vegas and her nips were as large and hard as Jerry Sundusky at a Cub Scout Jamobree. So I thought it was kind of a funny joke. But it was deleted.

You see Kim went to rehab this week and they demanded that no one talk about it because it wasn't shown on the episode. They are so fuckin' anal and so on top of every post that they deleted it even though a couple of other posters picked up on the nipple joke and made a few of their own. Supposedly TWOP is about snark. But it is only their approved snark. They don't like what they don't control. They watch everything like a hawk and delete what seems like every other post. Either the whole post or they "snip" out a piece of it. That is no way to live. It really sucks. You bring some funny and they cut it out to control things. It is a sign of weakness. Of fear. Of being a control freak anal douchebag. It seems to be going around. Why would you want to delete an innocent joke or even an not so innocent joke. Who tries to control everything to such an infintismal degree?

Douchenozzles that's who.

It's enough to make any self-respecting person quit the site.

Time to get ready for breakfast.

In a bed and breakfast the only meal you get is of course the breakfast. The lady who runs the joint (behind the island) would set the table each day and she would set a table for four for us and our friends. But the last day was a catastrophe. She sat the Germans with us.

Let me tell you Herr Douchenozzle was the perfect Kraut. Imperious, arrogant, stiff necked and pompous Ya. After every fucking sentence he would go Ya. Ya Ya your fuckin Ass.

Any this douchenozzle had to dominate the conversation about how much money he had and all the houses he had all over the world. That's cool. It's no wonder you were staying at the Seatuck Cove House in Moriches instead of Puff Diddy's house but what the fuck? Now you know me. I can dominate most any conversation I want and tell jokes and stories and get everybody laughing. But as I got older I realized something. You can let somebody else carry the ball if it is so important to them. It's like wrestling. It's a exhibition not a competition. Now Herman Boring
was going on and on pompously telling us about where he went in the Hamptons and all the places he had been . He couldn't believe we hadn't been to Bangkok. Now he could take his cock out and bang it against the table for all I cared. But I just sat and endured it. What could you do? I was in vacation mode. Laid back. Relaxed. There's enough conflict when we get back to the store.

After they left to supposedly price houses on a private island my friend goes to me "Wow you can't even pretend." Which is not true. I can pretend but sometimes it's not worth it.

I just thought of the wisest thing President Obama ever said.

"Why can't you leave me alone so I can eat my waffle."

I have a real job....I can't just take a day off to protest!

So I had to spend the last couple of days at the Curve Lingerer show. I know I said that last week but I fucked it up as it was this week and I didn't read the tickets. That's why we ended up at the Toy show last week.

Anyhoo I had to spend the day looking at models in their underwear as they walked through the halls wearing nothing but bras and panties. I mean I couldn't take the day off to protest my working conditions. Some of those girls had ugly tattoos. And moles and shit. Nobody knows the trouble I've seen, nobody knows the sorrow.

That's what happens when you have a real job. You have to sit around looking at half naked women all day.

Those Wisconsin douchenozzles have no idea how easy they have it.

Hey douchenozzles!

Douchenozzles used to be hidden away. They were never referred to in polite society. Everyone knew one but nobody talked about it. It was the personal feminine hygiene product that could not speak it's name.

But now they are out in force. They are everywhere. In the arts. In the army. Why they even elected one President of the United States. They have become the new in-thing. So my question to you is: Who is the biggest douchenozzle of them all?

Our new poll lets you choose. Who do you think is the biggest douchenozzle:

President Obama

Fred Wilponzie

Wisconsin Public Employees

New commenter and Union sycophant Dose of Sanity

Trooper York?

I have to be fair. You can call me a douchenozzle if you want. So what do you think?