So I go to the bank today to make an account to account transfer with my production manager in California. Now this is different than a wire or a ACH deposit since it happens in five minutes if you both have accounts in Chase. Which we do for just this reason.

Now the bank is a disaster area. Half of the staff are morons. Well  no. They are all morons. Only the manager and the assistant manager have half a fuckin brain. The rest of them are half a fuckin retard. So I walk in and the manager is at lunch and the assistant is helping three other people. This kid comes up to me all dressed in a Chase uniform. They have to wear a Chase shirt and what not. He is about twenty one and has no idea what he is doing. He tells me "Sorry Sir I am training so I can't really do anything."  I tell him "No problem I wouldn't let you help me anyway."

You see he has fucking topknot. A bun in the back. Like he is fucking John Belushi Samurai. WHAT THE FUCK! I mean that is fine if you are selling me coffee or you are a bartender or even working in a boutique. NOT IN A FUCKIN BANK HANDLING MY MONEY YOU PUTZ!!!!!!! You ain't a fuckin' Samurai. You are a Puerto Rican dude! Stop with the bullshit. He went to help an eighty year old Italian lady and I though her head was going to explode. She ran out of there like her Depends were on fire.

Of course it is against the law to say anything about that. You can be brought up on charges. The manager a Jamaican guy named Marvin is pissed about it. I can tell. He don't want that shit in his joint. He is always neat and clean and dressed to the nines. He must be shitting.

It is sick out there and getting sicker.

Talking to Mets fans just makes me sad.

So I am in the bank yesterday making a wire transfer and the eager puppy bank guy wants to talk about the Yankees and the free agent market. Now the manager of the branch really is humorless and doesn't really know what he is doing so I try not to deal with him too much. The assistant manager is the one who knows what is going on. I had her come into the store and hooked her up with some sunglasses and a scarf as she is a size six so she doesn't fit into anything. When ever you are in a situation where you need something done you should always find out the person who knows what they are doing and bribe or tip them heavily. You know not the pretty waitress but the one who actually does the work. It might even be the food runner who can push your order through first. Or the guy who slices the meat at the deli counter instead of the owner of the shop. You know the important guy. But anyway the manager guy decides to jump into the conversation. And he is a big time Mets fan.

So we are talking and he's trying to tell me that the Mets are going to sign CC Sabathia over the Yankees. I just laughed in his face. I said dude "The Mets will never out spend the Yankees. The only reason they got Beltran and Santana is because the Yankees turned them down. Get Real." He got all huffy and pompous but all the other dudes who worked in the bank almost pissed their pants. I just hate talking to Mets fans.They have an incredably skewed view of their place in the ecosystem.

They think they are lions when they are really jackals. You can respect a Red Sox fan because lately since they have copied the Yankees and started spending money they have been winning. But the Mets. Please Louise. Give me a break.

I just have to make sure I only deal with the assistant manager. I don't want the manager to make any "mistakes."