Don't step in the mainstream!

To be a card carrying member of the Main Stream media it is required that you direct your stream solely at Republicans and conservatives. There has been long tradition of very pissed off journalists who enjoy voiding their bladders over anyone more conservative than George McGovern. It began with the rivalry between George Pulitzer and William Randolph Hearst which originated in the frenzy that led up to the Spanish American War. Their competition was so fierce that it led to Mr. Hearst taking out his enormous penis to urinate on the steps of the White House to protest President McKinley’s inertia in light of the provocation of the Spaniards. This action led to two unforeseen consequences. The heavy yellow stream caused by Mr. Hearst’s addiction to pineapple juice led to the creation of the type of “Yellow Journalism” where the journalist is more important than the story. It continues to this very day in the work of such giants as Geraldo Rivera, Bill O’Reilly and Christine Amanpour. And the rumors of the size of his enormous penis led to long affair with Marion Davies as well as the fascination with black men by his granddaughter Patti that led to her alleged kidnapping by the Symboinese Liberation Army.
(Truth Doesn’t Even Have It’s Pants On, The History of the Main Stream Media, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Playboy Press 2006)

Look out for the Main Stream!

The term main stream media was first coined by Walter Jenkins during the administration of Lyndon Johnson. President Johnson was fond of the saying that he wanted the press to on “the inside of the tent pissing out instead of the outside of the tent pissing in.” Mr. Jenkins was in charge of maintaining an clear even flow of news that would be going in the direction that the White House favors or what the called the “Main Stream.” It was also a handy device to refer to those members who liked to pee on Mr. Jenkins when he took a wide stance in various men’s rooms in the Washington DC area.
(Truth Doesn’t Even Have It’s Pants On, The History of the Main Stream Media, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Playboy Press 2006)