An except from "Taken for Granted" a Novel by Leslyn Amthor Spinelli

I had to go to the courthouse to file a motion in Kate's case. It is always busy when you try to get to see the clerk and today was no exception. Usually you run into people you know. And you always run into some you don't want to see. Like now. Right in front of me was a parole officer I used to work with.

His name was Nick Spanakos and he looked like a dissoulte Broaderick Crawford. Actually his nickname was "Nick the Barrel." Sometimes becaue his favorite saying was "It's like shooting fish in a barrell" but mostly becaue he looked a barrell. With a Dixiecup on top for a head.

Nick was covered in donut crumbs and stains of an intereminate nature that I don't think would stand up to a blue light analysis. Oh no. He wants to talk.

"Hi doll how ya doing. Lookin good. I hear you have a case?"
"Yes I do. But nothing to interest you. She will never be convicted so she will never go on parole."

"Oh don't worry baby everything interests me. I have to split though. I have to track down one of my clients. He was a dog toucher. Convicted of Sexual Battery on a Beagle. I heard he got married. Imagine that. Who would marry a perv like that. See ya in the funny papers."

With that he waddled out of the room. Thank God.

I don't think I could have watched him touch himself again without barfing. I think it has been so long since he could see it that he had to touch it all the time to make sure it was there.

Nobody wants to see that.

An except from "Taken for Granted" A Novel by Leslyn Amthor Spinelli

Caroline went into her favorite café to get a double soy milk latte and a cinnamon bun. She wanted to just take a moment to think. Lily was off at school. Her husband was home today trolling the internet in the basement in his underwear. She just needed a minute to herself. To try and hold the building anxiety in check. If just for a little while.

There was a commotion at the other end of the café. A bilious peroxide blonde who was a dead ringer for the Travelocity Gnome was in a loud argument with another patron. They were fighting about something. It sounded like same sex marriage. Or a marriage with a lack of sex. Or something. What was that misshapen gnome snarling about anyway.

Caroline finally looked up from the case papers to see what this disturbance was about. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed a furtive presence. A grizzled ill smelling personage was huddled in the corner next to the screeching harpy. He was holding her purse. He resembled nothing so much as a homeless Mr. Greenjeans from Captain Kangaroo. He wore a soiled pair of green overalls and Crocs. Somehow he seemed familiar.

Then Caroline remembered. It was from her time as an assistant district attorney. He was know as the "Dog Toucher."  His MO was to offer to walk his neighbors dogs who came back to their owners skittish and ashamed. A stake out was set up and he was caught red handed. Well dog handed. He was arrested for fisting a Shih Tzu. What was he doing out of jail. What was he doing in a yuppie internet café in Madison Wisconsin.

She noticed him sidle off to the side in all the commotion. He bent down. Oh my God. He was about to finger a dachshund.

(to be continued)

I am about half way through "Taken for Granted"......

.....and I have to tell you it is an excellent and engrossing mystery.

Mrs. Spinelli is a very talented writer and I hope this first book is just the beginning of a series. I am a big fan of series in the detective and mystery genre so I know something about it. Robert B. Parker's Spenser. Lawrence Block's Matt Scudder. John D. MacDonald's Travis McGee. Mickey Spillane's Mike Hammer. Tony Hillerman's Jim Chee and Joe Leaphorn. Marj Sjowall and Per Wahloo's Martin Beck. Elmore Leonard's Raylan Givens. They all spring to mind.

Of course there are many female master's of the genre. Fay Kellerman. Patricia Cornwall's Kay Scarpetta. Elizabeth Peter's Amelia Peabody. Sharon Kay Penman's Justin De Quincy.

Now Leslyn Spinelli's Kate Daniels can take her place amongst her peers.

It is very interesting how she weaves Kate's anxiety syndrome into her character. It reminds me of Matt Scudders alcoholism. Or Spenser's smart alecky personality. A major character flaw the humanizes the character.

I have to tell you the Nick's lovely bride is a very talented fiction writer. She imagines the protagonist's husband as a virile ex-Navy Seal and Private investigator who is a dreamboat.

Boy can she write fiction or what?

Anyway we might be posting some excepts from the book in the next few weeks. Stay tuned.

I started reading "Taken for Granted."

It is really good. The only thing there is one really unbelievable scene.

It seems the heroine meets this old fat private investigator and decides to have wild kinky sex with him. The unbelievable thing is that the guy is so fat he couldn't see his penis. I mean really?

So I just bought the book but maybe you should be worried about the title Spinelli

I just got my kindle copy of  "Taken for Granted; A Novel" from Amazon. I plan to read it over the weekend and give it a review. Both here and on Amazon. But I am kind of worried.

I mean look at the Title. If the wife comes up with that title you have to stop for a moment. I mean it's not as bad as "My Husband is an Asshole" or "I Wish I had Married Kevin O"Malley" or "Do You Know a Good Divorce Lawyer." Still the title has to make you think.

Now the blurb is also pretty interesting."As she struggles to answer these questions and discovers the person Kate has become, Caroline is forced to examine her own life and make some painful choices." Painful choices? Dude that don't sound good.

Now it is set in Madison Wisconsin so maybe can see some characters we could recognize. A guy in dirty coveralls with a borrowed dog with a bleached out blond refugee from the set of "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane."  A rotund goober in a stained Packers jersey munching on roasted roadkill while refurbishing a BMW. A guy so middle of the road that he can't walk down the street without straddling a fence and ripping his pants on the white pickets. Now that would be fun!

Anyhoo I can't wait to start reading.

My dick is for hire......

"I don't get it ND. How can they confuse us? We are two different people."
"Don't pay any attention Trooper. I mean that guy keeps talking about his wife when we know it is really just a blow up doll. He doesn't have a clue."
"Shouldn't we have a clue? I mean we are fucking detectives after all."
"Look if they can't tell the difference between the two of us it ain't work talking about."
"I guess that's the truth. Let's get some donuts."

The Sixto Sense

"Come I always love to take the photo with my fans."
"So do you like the beisbol young man? I bet you like to play with the balls no? I know I do?"
"Say what kind of name is Garage? Swedish?"
"Anyway you must stay for after the game. We have a great tradition here at County Staduim. It is not the Old Timers like the Yanquis. Or Banner Day like the Mets. We take out the wieners and let them race."
"Do you like to race with you wieners?"
"Oh look....I see wieners."

The Sixto Sense

"Why are you reading my posts."
"You know I am the only one awake at this time."
"I have no job so I can post nonsense all night."
"Since I no play the beisbol I just sit and listen to you tube video's all night  while I post on third rate blogs."
"But I was once the best player in all the Dominican."
"And my hair was perfect."
"Oscar Gamble was a pussy."
"He had the pussy hair."
"I had beautiful hair."
"My hair was just like Celia Cruz."
"Now my life is just like a canival."
"But yusted are the clowns."
"I see clown people."

The Sixto Sense

"Hey I know it is late night but I would like to talk."
"Why don't you answer my calls anymore?"
"I was busy listening to music today and I thought of you."
"Remember when we used to drive to the ballpark and listen to Celia Cruz on the radio?"
"And what we used to say when we got to County Stadium?"
"I see white people."

Mother's Day Memories

ndspinelli said...

Are you saying all moms aren't June Cleaver? I'm shocked. My bride is having a total knee replacement on 5/24. Her narcissistic, petty, loathsome mother has a couple walkers. my bride asked if she could use one for just a week or so knowing the extra one just sits there. Now, understand my bride has done EVERYTHING..EVERYTHING for this woman. But mom said, "when your brother visits he uses it to hang his sleep apnea gear." And, that lazy aasshole doesn't do shit.

My apologies for an angry downer comment but I'm just keeping w/ the theme of the post. My bride is taking her mom to brunch as we speak. Bozo brother is home scratching his nuts. Happy Mother's Day to all you Trooper women. Obviously you're all good mothers since you tolerate all us bad boys.

A new candidate for the Overrated Hall of Fame!

Our good friend and favorite knucklehead ndspinelli had this to say about our comments about Aaron Rodgers:

ndspinelli said...
Let me first respond to Trooper's polemic about Aaron Rodgers. You must understand when you accuse Rodgers of being s one trick pony that THIS IS HIS 4TH FUCKING YEAR AS STARTER. Now, he may well not earn another title w/ the vagaries of pro football..injuries, team demise, etc. When his career is over you can then take that shot if you wish. However, he's only 28!

Dude don't get your panties in a twist. All I am trying to say is that Aaron Rodgers is way overrated. He has some gaudy stats. So did the ultimate failure Dan Marino. And Dan Fouts. And lots of other guys who put up big numbers but never won anything.

Aaron Rodgers won one Super Bowl. Just one. One more than Dan Marino. You can get to the Hall of Fame with a bunch of hollow statistics. If you don't believe me you can ask Ted Williams disembodied head about that.

I hear many douchenozzles rank on Derek Jeter who has five championship rings. That's right five. He was the leader and the heart and soul of five championship clubs.

Don't be like a Met fan or a Jet fan. Go out and put a couple of pelts on your pony first. Don't tell me that Aaron Rodgers is all that. He made a lot of mistakes in that game. He missed a lot of recievers. Watch the game films. They were throwing up their hands and cursing that they missed open recievers. He is way, way overrated.

We have a spot on the wall for him. Right between Woody Allen and Bob Dylan.

I would like it if you just said thank you!

Blanche: Did you have a nice drive?
Jane: What are you talking about?
Blanche: Nothing dear, I... it's been so long since you were out of the house I thought perhaps you had gone for a drive or something. You know I was thinking, it's ever so long since we had a talk, you know, a real talk about the future and everything. Jane, I didn't want you to be worried about the house, even if I do have to sell it, we'll still be together.
Jane: Blanche you're not gonna sell this house. Daddy bought this house, and he bought it for me! You don't think I remember that, do you?
Blanche: You're wrong, Jane. You've just forgotten. I bought this house for the two of us, when I signed my first contract.
Jane: You don't think I remember anything, do you? There are a whole lot of things I remember. And you never paid for this house. Baby Jane Hudson made the money that paid for this house, that's who!
Blanche: You don't know what you're saying.
Jane: Blanche, you aren't ever gonna sell this house... and you aren't ever gonna leave it... either.
Blanche: But Jane you have to realize that not everything is about you. We might need to find our own way. The world does not revolve around you and what you want.
Jane: I don't want to talk about it! Everytime I think about something nice, you remind me of bad things. I only want to talk about the nice things. I would like it if you just said thank you!

Well they call me Harry O but that is not my real name?

"Really so what is your real name?"
"Well it is a very weird name for a private dick."
"What is it something stupid like Cannon or Baranby or something?"
"No it's hungarian. My real name is Hairy Balls. It's not spelt like that but that is how it sounds."
"Ewwwwwwww. That sucks. But at least you are banging that hot chick next door. You guys sure make a lot of noise. Why is she always screaming?"
"Well she has weird tastes. She calls me her back door Santa. I always leave her a gift there."
"Man that's not cool. You could give that chick cancer or something."
"Nah that's bullshit Man. It's like them telling you cigarettes cause cancer. It's a crock of shit. Take it from me, Hairy Balls. I know what I am talking about."

Of course we have a Bunker Mentality!

ndspinelli said...
I love the spirit here. I just hope we're not developing a bunker mentality. That's only effective in the short run.

What's the matter with ND. Are you a big dummy. Of course we have a Bunker mentality.

Oh and ....Stifle Allie!!!!!

Sexy cows are better to contemplate......

Then email exchanges that will not go anywhere. As ricpic can tell you somethings you have to take things into your own hands. Just Sayn'

Commenter Memories Number 121 ND channels Frank Cannon

"Hey sugar how are you baby?"

"You want a date? 1967. You ain't a cop are you? You the fuzz? Cause you can't get past the fuzz if you is the fuzz. You feel me sonny?"

"I bet you want to feel me don't you boss? What yu a prison guard? You must know my man. Tell you what. Half and half at half price if you smuggle something in for me."

"Where did you get this car? From Frank Cannon? He is always driving around with that old cat trying to score some strange. You ain't a freak like him are you. I ain't gonna eat no sugar donut offa your cock now. That be too weird even my ownself."

"Ain't you kinda young to be bald like that?"

"Ok drive around the corner and meet me behind the 7/11."

Hey help a sister out!

"Hey help a sister out!"
"You know where you have to shop."
"You will really be doing a mitzva. But we can't talk about it. But you know you want to help me make some cheese. Seriously."
"I have so many nice things. My precious."
"Heeeeellllllppppppppmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Hey waddaya lookin at bub!

"Yeah so he is Joe Dimaggio. He's my boyfriend. Wadddaya gonna do about it?"
"Wait a minute. I ain't your boyfriend. What kind of crazy bullshit is that?"
"Shad up Joe I will give you a dollar."
"Well allright then. Let's brew up some coffee."