So we went to vote today and what a fuckin' fiasco it was.
Our normal polling place was closed because of the storm so we had a list of three alternatives to go to. We chose the closest one as we figured that would be the place to go. It was pretty cold and the wind was blowing so we hustled to get there. Now we should have went earlier in the day when there was no line but we were too busy working on the internet to drum up sales and cleaning the house. So naturally we had to get there when everybody got home from work and shit.
So when we get there is a huge line going in circles. It turns out it was the line for my district but I told Lisa we had to go check before we stood on the line. So there is this chinese girl sitting with the big book of addresses and you have to give your address so she can figure out where you have to go. I give my address "328" and she goes "228" and I go no "328" and she goes "228." I finally get her to realize that it is 328 and she verifies that we had to go to the long long line.
Now this it the line that had 100 people in it. All the yuppies and hipsters who are renting apartments in the neighborhood. Lisa said it was so different from when she used to vote where she grew up. Then she knew everyone in the line and the people behind the counter and it was a community thing. I said I know a couple of people in the line. There was the guy from my block who always owned fancy cars. He had a new corvette once that had a vanity license plate that spelled out "Phongul." So he was on line with his wife. I told the wife that "it is a transient neighborhood now and people move in and move out. There is no old timers around."The girl in front of us turned around and said "Hey I am fourth generation." I said "I know you live across the street and your Dad is an accountant." You see I laugh at the wife because she doesn't talk to anybody like I do. I am always saying hello and get to know a bunch of people. But the wife dosen't so I have to laugh when she complains that she doesn't know anybody.
Now all the white people where in this long, long line. This one big mama came around and took every black person out of the line and told them they were in the wrong place. They had to go in the place for the Red Hook projects and the Gowanus Houses where there were about three people on line. Fuck you chalk faced whores.
There was this dude who was running around trying to direct stuff. He worked for the Board of Elections and it was pretty fuckin funny because he sounded exactly like Tracy Morgan from "30 Rock." So I go to him "Hey I bet you love Obama so much that you want to take him behind the middle school and get him pregnant."
Anyway we get up to the desk and get signed in and get our paper ballots. You have to go up to this little desk and fill it out and bring it to the scanner. Lisa got mad because she felt that people could tell who you voted for and maybe fuck around with your ballot. But I just said that fuck that be proud and give in your ballot. Which is what we did.
We voted the straight Conservative party line. Our cousin by marriage is the daughter of Mike Long who is the head of the Conservative Party in New York and that helps him get a ballot line.
