They call me Harry O but that is not my real name.

"So what do I care? I just want to know if you can do the job. You found those broads to get rid of Herman Cain so I need you to find something on Newt."
"But he already has a lot of stuff. He divorced his wife when she had cancer. That is as bad as me when I dropped my girlfriend when she got the ass cancer because I was banging her in the ass with my dick dipped in nicotine."
"Really why would you do that?"
"Are you kidding? That feels great. Cool and refreshing. Feels like a cigarette should."
"You're a freaky bastard. I would've used that old guy Barnaby but he is senile and the fat guy got stuck behind the wheel of his Lincoln. So you're it. What should I call you?"
"Call me Hairy Balls. That can be my code name. But I don't even know your name?"
"Me. My name is Karl Rove. But nobody can know I am masterminding the Romney campaign. You can call me by my code name: Seven Machos."

Well they call me Harry O but that is not my real name?

"Really so what is your real name?"
"Well it is a very weird name for a private dick."
"What is it something stupid like Cannon or Baranby or something?"
"No it's hungarian. My real name is Hairy Balls. It's not spelt like that but that is how it sounds."
"Ewwwwwwww. That sucks. But at least you are banging that hot chick next door. You guys sure make a lot of noise. Why is she always screaming?"
"Well she has weird tastes. She calls me her back door Santa. I always leave her a gift there."
"Man that's not cool. You could give that chick cancer or something."
"Nah that's bullshit Man. It's like them telling you cigarettes cause cancer. It's a crock of shit. Take it from me, Hairy Balls. I know what I am talking about."