Lets get pounded!

What do you do when you are going stir crazy! You stir up a batter and make a pound cake.

We  haven't been out so we can't get a fresh dessert. We like a nice dessert at the end of the day. Maybe a piece of cake. A few cookies . Fresh fruit. Even an Italian Ice. 

So since we are stuck in the house I have been baking. Something I don't like to do because it is all so scientific. Measure this and only add that. I don't believe in science so it is very hard for me. I like to cook because you just  throw stuff in on a whim. You have a general idea but you can always throw in something to make it better. My motto is always more is better.

This brand of gluten-free pound cake is really great. I added some lemon zest and it came out great in my Valentine heart bake pan. This is the brand: 

This company also has a pretty good chocolate chip cookie product that I made a couple of days ago. 

Severed with a little coconut cream it is a perfect end to another day of confinement. 

Let them eat cake....not so fast you!

So Antonio over at Monteleone's bakery across the street is very creative in all the cakes he bakes. He is really an artist. The cakes he makes are favorites of all the kids in the neighborhood. Even big kids like me.

The bottom shelf has a lemoncello cake on the left hand corner. Then a chocolate mouse cake next to it. In the back you can see two cakes that look like hamburgers. They are strawberry short cakes made to look like burgers. The kids love that cake.

The next shelf was my downfall. On the left is a nutella cake that is out of this world. But the clam cake next to it is killing me.

This cake is cannoli cream with white cake and marzipan cheese. He is literally killing me as this is my favorite combination of all time. I have to walk past this all the time and I am always pressed up against the window like fucking Garfield jonesing at that cake. 

It's just not fair. Doesn't he realize I have a heart condition. Jeeze.

Michelle Obama destroys another great American Company!

That's right. Her heartless campaign against junk food and snack cakes is causing Hostess to declare . The snack cake geniuses who gave us Twinkies, Ding Dongs, Ho-Ho's and Wonder Bread is declaring bankruptcy. The demands of the food Nazi's along with the rising cost of ingredients due to Obama economy is putting so much stress on the company that might make it go out of business.

I have a theory.

What do you call white people when you want to make fun of them? White Bread!

What is the ultimate white bread? Wonder Bread.

Who hates the bitter clingers who cling to their guns, religion and Wonder Bread? Michelle Obama.

Therefore it is her fault that soon fat kids across American won't be able to get peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on Wonder Bread. That they can wash down with a cold Yoohoo! With some Twinkies for desert!

IT'S MICHELLE'S FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First they destroyed Chevrolet and forced them to make electric cars that you need an extension cord for. Now they are destroying Wonder Bread.

They will be coming for our hot dogs next!

This can not stand.

RISE UP AMERICA!!!!! GO TO THE STORE AND BUY SOME TWINKIES OR DING DONGS OR HO HOS OR WONDER BREAD!

I AM AS FAT AS HELL AND I AM NOT GETTING SKINNY ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey everyone in voting in our poll!

Hey everyone is voting in our cake poll. It is a close three way race. Even Sarah Jessica Parker got into it. Of course she likes birthday cake the best.

Hey the carrots are still in the lead!

Carrot cake is still winning. I mean what do we have a bunch of health nuts around here. Or is Darcy getting all of her admirers to stuff the box. So to speak.

Only time will tell.

Hey carrot's are good for more than one thing lady!

Carrot cake is in the lead. Now I know a few ladies might say that making them into a cake is a waste of a perfectly good carrot. But none the less the carrot cake is in the lead.

You love that don't you dirty girls.

Hey Darcy some cake for you baby.

Carrot cake with a citrus icing
This makes a large 3 layer cake but feel free to halve the recipe and make 2 x 20cm/8inch cakes. The layers freeze beautifully, but wrap them doubly in cling film to prevent ice crystals. The icing will keep well in the fridge for at least one week.

Serves 12-15 (UK portions)

Diet Facts: carrots and wholewheat flour may be healthy but sugar and cream cheese are not-but don't be a pussy, use plenty of both.
For the cake layers:

400g/ 2 1/2 plus 1/3 cups of wholemeal or wholewheat flour

2 tsp baking powder

2 tsp bicarbonate of soda (baking soda)

1 Tbsp ground cinnamongood pinch of nutmeggood pinch cloves

350g/ 2 cups (tightly packed) dark brown sugar

4 large eggs300ml/10 fl oz sunflower oil (canola oil)

zest of 2 oranges

400g/ 14 oz peeled, grated carrot

225g/ 1 1/3 cup chopped dried (french) apricots (size of raisins)

100g/ 1 1/4 cup dessicated coconut

100g/ 3/4 cup roughly chopped walnuts or pecans, toasted
For the syrup glaze:

juice 2 small oranges

1 tbsp lemon juice

55g/ 1/4 cup (tightly packed) dark brown soft sugar
For the icing:

3 x 225g/8oz packages of cream cheese

1 x 225g/8oz tub crème fraîche

5 Tbsp/ 1/4 cup plus 1 Tbsp runny honey

zest of 2 lemons and juice of 1 (about 1 Tbsp of juice)

zest of 1 small orange, juice of half (about 2 tbsp)
To decorate:

2 Tbsp dessicated coconut, lightly toasted (optional)

handful of chopped walnuts, toasted (optional)

alternatively dust with ground cinnamon

You will need:

3 x 23cm/9 inch cake tins

An electric whisk (or even better an electric mixer)

A box grater or a grater attachment on your food processor

1/ Heat the oven to 400F/200C/Gas 6.

Toast your nuts in the oven(Hee, hee) (about 5-8 minutes, until you can smell them roasting)

and then turn the heat down to 325F/170C/Gas 3 for the cake.

2/ Spray three 23 cm/ 9 inch cake tins with cooking spray with starch (such as Baker’s Joy). Make sure that the sugar has no hard lumps in it by squishing it between your fingers. Whisk together the sugar, eggs and oil for 2-3 minutes.

3/ Whisk together the flour, baking powder, bicarbonate of soda and spices in a large bowl. Stir the gently into the sugar/egg/oil mixture and then add the remaining cake ingredients. Don’t be alarmed at the thickness of the batter. Divide the mixture evenly between the 3 tins and bake in the centre shelf of the oven for 25-30 minutes or until nicely risen, firm and springy to touch and with visible signs of shrinking away from the sides of the tin.

4/ Meanwhile, make the glaze by combining the juices and sugar in a small saucepan over a low heat. Stir until the sugar dissolves. In fact you can put more sugar in if you are not a limey poofter who can't handle the sweetness. Once the cake has finished cooking, stab it all over with a skewer and gently spoon the syrup over the 3 cakes evenly. Allow to cool.

5/ Make the icing by beating together the cream cheese and crème fraîche until smooth. Fold in the honey, zest and juices with a large rubber spatula and check the taste. Add more honey or juices to your desired taste.

6/ To assemble the cake, turn the cakes out from their tins. Place one layer top-side down onto a cake stand. Spread the top evenly with 1/3 of the icing using a palette knife (offset spatula) or rubber spatula. Top with another layer, again top-side down and repeat until you have the final layer topped with the last of the icing. Scatter with the coconut and walnuts (if using) or dust with cinnamon.

From:londonfoodieny.wordpress.com/.../ A London Foodie in New York by Anna Helm

Even Madonna likes to put cake in her mouth.

Crimes of passion
Give me such a sweet reaction
Oh, crimes of passion
Give me so much satisfaction

Don't play dumb with me,
I know you know the score
I wait impatiently,
tonight I'm yours

Show you what it's like to have your cake and eat it too
I think you'll like what I'm gonna do, oh

I'm not the type of girl who likes to settle down
Some people say that I just want to fool around
Once I get a taste I want more
I'm like a baby in a candy store, oh

There's no reason to feel guilty
It's too late now, what's done is done
If you can keep it a secret darlin'
We can have some fun
I always want the things that I can't get

I don't believe in rules that you can't bend
Even when you say you've got someone at home
Tell her tonight that she's on her own

Oh, crimes of passion [sweet reaction]
Give me such a sweet reaction [so much satisfaction]
Oh, crimes of passion [sweet reaction]
Give me so much satisfaction
Oh, crimes of passion [sweet reaction]
Give me such a sweet reaction [so much satisfaction]
Oh, crimes of passion [sweet reaction]

STOP THIS NONSENSE!!!

Stop this nonsense and get back to cake blogging!!!!!!

The Cheesecake Song.

So then I got this idea about driving a cheesecake truck

Coz I figured at the end of the day

I could take some of the leftover cheesecakes home

And I love cheesecake

So I went to the cheesecake companya

and they asked me if I could drive a truck

and I said yes

And they said you're hired

So the next day I got in the truck with all the cheesecakes

And I drove about a block

And I just had to have a cheesecake

So I pulled over and opened the truck

And I got a cheesecake

And I also took one for later

And I took one for my friend Farmboy

And I took one to bring home

And by that time I had eaten one of the cheesecakes

So I took another one

Then I figured I might as well stop at my house

To drop off all the cheesecakes

So I take five cakes to eat on the way

And I drive another block and a half to my house

Now it's lunchtime so I eat ten cheesecakes

And a cheesecake for dessert

I should point out, by the way

Thatall of these cheesecakes were very delicious

Anyway, I decided that the only thing to do

Would be to eat all the rest of the cheesecakes

And hide the truck somewhere and leave town

And I miss everyone a lot, but I'm not really sorry

Because they were very delicious cheesecakes

(Missle King, The Cheesecake Song)

Carrot Cake and wine!

"Carrot Cake And Wine"

I'm looking good

Got my shoulders back

A few more drinks I'm up to dance

I get the eye as I lift my glass

The first time in six months

She looks again

I start to shake

My shoulders twitching

I'm on my way

I glance behind me for safety sake

to see a clock the size of a plane

The night is young

more fish in the sea

Who's to say she wasn't looking at me

I sink my head back in to my glass

Get in to shape for that first dance

I turn away I look to the south

I pull my foot from out of my mouth

To my surprise she's standing beside me

Asking if I'd like to dance

I'm standing in a hall of smoke

Her tongues in my mouth

I'd love to choke

Her knight approaches us on foot

Left his side kick at the brook

he offered me a cigarette

I said I'm far to young to smoke

So he tried to entertain me

Told me one more crappy joke

In my ear except the joke wasn't clear

Set the joking aside

Should I run should I hide

I've decided to stay rub it in his face

What I thought was the case

Was an easy mistake

I just like to try some

carrot cake and wine

Can't I try taste

my carrot cake and wine

Looking good not looking back

Knight of hers took her off to dance

I get the eye but not for the last time

She looks again I start to shake

My legs are twitching my eyes are fake

I glance behind me for safety's sake

To see my girlfriend's tongue

in the Face of a friend

who is far from a man

Should I hide should I run

Must have see what I've done

Decided to stay liked the look on her face

What I thought was the case

Was an easy mistake

I'd just like to try

some carrot cake and wine

Can't I try taste my carrot cake

Why cant I try?

Why should I lie?

Taste my try some

of my Carrot cake and wine

(STEREOPHONICS)

Oh yeah baby!

You're my Honeybunch,

Sugarplum Pumpy-umpy-umpkin,

You're my Sweetie Pie

You're my Cuppycake,

Gumdrop Snoogums-Boogums,

You're the Apple of my Eye

And I love you so

and I want you to know

That I'll always be right here

And I love to sing sweet songs to you

Because you are so dear

(The Cupcake Song, Strawberry Shortcake)

Hey short cake can I put some whipped cream on you and eat you up?

From 1957, a strawberry shortcake recipe:

Filling:
1 quart strawberries, rinsed, hulled, sliced
1/3 cup sugar
.
Shortcake:
3 cups sifted all-purpose flour
4 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup shortening
1/3 cup butter
1 cup milk
melted butter
whipped cream, sweetened with a little sugar if desired

Preparation:

Place strawberries in a large bowl; sprinkle with 1/3 cup of sugar. Let stand, covered, for at least 1 hour before serving.

Sift dry ingredients into a mixing bowl. Cut in shortening and butter until mixture is fine. Add milk; stir with a fork until all flour is moist. Turn out onto a lightly floured board and knead gently for 20 seconds. Divide dough into 2 equal portions. Gently roll out or pat each portion to fit a 9-inch round cake pan. Place each portion into a lightly buttered pan; press edges to form a slight ridge. Brush with melted butter. Bake at 450° for 12 to 15 minutes. Brush each layer with butter. Spoon sweetened strawberries and juice between layers and on the top. Serve warm, cut in wedges, with whipped cream. Serves 10.

If using self-rising flour, omit baking powder and salt.

Hey we are off to a hot start in our new poll.

I didn't want to load the dice "Barbara Eden" style by having a great cheese cake photo as enough of you knuckleheads love it as it is. So I cheated a little and used a smaller photo to give the other cakes a fighting chance.

The cheesecake discussion is very interesting to me because I think most cheesecakes are really overrated. And Nichevo, sorry but Junior's is way overrated. It is often dry and sour because they mass produce it . And the Cheesecake Factory, shit that really sucks wind. They must have illegal immigrants sewing those cakes together for 50cents an hour.

By far the best cheese cake I ever had is from Court Pastry in Carroll Gardens. Yes I am prejuidiced but so what. It is a ricotta cheese cake which is always light and fluffy and they will put six different types of fruit on it if you want. Pineapple, cherry, blueberry, strawberry, peach and kiwi. I once brought a cheesecake from Court Pastry where there five other cheesecakes including two from Junior's and my cake was totally devoured while the rest sat alone like Alphaliberal at his high school dance.

Here is a reciepe for a great ricotta cheese cake. Try it and get back to me.

INGREDIENTS (Nutrition)
2 pounds ricotta cheese
2/3 cup white sugar
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
6 eggs
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
2 teaspoons orange zest
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/8 teaspoon salt

DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C). Set rack in the middle of the oven. Butter and flour a 9 1/2 inch springform pan, and tap out excess flour.
Place the ricotta in a large mixing bowl, and stir it as smooth as possible with a rubber spatula. Stir the sugar and flour together thoroughly into the ricotta. Stir in the eggs 1 at a time. Blend in the vanilla, cinnamon, orange zest, and salt. Pour batter into the prepared pan.
Bake in the center of the oven for about 1 1/4 to 1 1/2 hours, until a light golden color. Make sure the center is fairly firm, and the point of a sharp knife inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool on a wire rack. It will sink slightly as it cools. Cover, and chill till serving time.

Take the Cake Poll

Ok who is going to take the cake. After much deliberation I have come up with our four finalists.

Cheese cake

Strawberry Shortcake

German Chocolate Cake

Carrot Cake

Let them eat cake I say.

You skinny people can wait for the tofu poll.

At the risk of pissing off some grumpy professor's, Trooper York is once again all about the Cheese Cake!

Taking the advice of some of our ace commenter's we will include cheese cake as one of the four cakes in our "Let's take the Cake" Poll. German Chocolate Cake also has one spot so we have two more openings. Suggestions are encouraged.

I just hope that you know who doesn't bitch me out again for having too many cheesecake pictures on my blog.

It's all cake.

Just a few hours left in our sandwich poll and hot pastrami is pulling way out into the lead.

I have to get the next poll ready and I am thinking about our favorite cakes. Not pies now, pies are not eligible. Just big rich creamy cakes.

I think I have to hit the bakery and buy a few so I can be ready to pick the contestants. I think we already have two of them: German Chocolate cake and the Black Forest cake pictured above. I will be taking your suggestions though.

This one is for you dolls.

German Chocolate Cake
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup butter, softened
1 cup sour cream
4 large eggs
4 ounces sweet baking chocolate, melted
1/2 cup milk
3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract

Topping
3/4 cup evaporated milk
1/2 cup light brown sugar, firmly packed
1/2 cup butter
1 can (3 1/2 ounces) flaked coconut, or about 1 1/3 cups
1 cup chopped pecans

Also chocolate frosting for the sides and decoration on top.

Grease and flour two 8-inch square baking pans.
In a large bowl, combine flour, sugar, baking soda, salt, butter, sour cream, eggs, chocolate, milk, and vanilla. Beat with mixer at low speed until blended. Increase mixer to high and beat 2 minutes longer. Spoon batter into prepared pans. Bake in a preheated 350° oven for about 35 minutes, or until a wooden pick or cake tester inserted in center comes out clean.
Remove to racks to cool completely.

Make topping. In a saucepan over medium heat, bring evaporated milk, brown sugar, and butter to a full boil; remove from heat. Stir in coconut and pecans. Set aside to cool to room temperature.

When cake is cool, place one layer on cake platter; spoon half of the coconut mixture onto the layer. Top with remaining cake layer and top with remaining topping.

Make chocolate dollops on top of cake in the form of little flowers. Add cherries and pecans to decorate at your discretion.

Be prepared to open the fridge and find out that someone (you know who) was blogging last night and ate half the cake.

I used to have this next door neighbor......

I used to have this next door neighbor who was some kind of magazine big shot. Anyway he was married and had a couple of kids. Every once in a while when we would go to Hanleys for dinner we would see this guy. Now we don't get to eat till late after we close the store. So it can be midnight or even later when we are finished and are leaving. Every once in a while we would see this guy making out with a woman, but it was never his wife. Now they weren't friends of ours or anything so it wasn't any of our business. But it was just icky ya know.

Anyway one day I am reading Page Six of the Post and it turns out that this guy got caught making out in a fancy bar in Manhattan. With a guy. Not that there's anything wrong with that. A very famous guy to boot. His marriage falls apart and they move. It seems that they stayed in Carroll Gardens as I saw the wife and kids every now and then.

So today I read that both he and his wife were making out with a guy in a restaurant in the city. The are both sucking face with the same dude. Now that doesn't seem right but what are you going to do. I never believe what the scumbag journalist write so I take it with a whole box of Red Cross salt. I know that magazine's are in a lot of trouble these days and need a healthy shot of publicity. I think it must be a stunt.

I just don't understand people.

On the other hand Carvel had no problem with my Mussolini cake.

Happy birthday, Adolf Hitler! Boy with nazi leader's name denied ShopRite cake
BY LARRY MCSHANE DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER
Tuesday, December 16th 2008, 5:27 PM

Adolf Hitler Campbell is the middle child of three kids given Nazi-themed names by their parents, including a dad who denies the Holocaust occurred and decorates his home with swastikas.

"They're just names, you know," father Heath Campbell told the Easton Express-Times. "Yeah, they (the Nazis) were bad people back then. But my kids are little. They're not going to grow up like that."

Adolf has two sisters, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie. The latter, just eight months old, was named for Nazi leader Heinrich Himmler.

The bizarre names came to public attention after a local ShopRite declined to provide the Holland Township, N.J., family with a cake inscribed "Happy Birthday Adolf Hitler."
"Other kids get their cake," Campbell complained. "I get a hard time. It's not fair to my children. How can a name be offensive?"

The kids are growing up in a home festooned with a swastika in every room. The father wears boots that once belonged to a Nazi soldier, and claims a relative was a member of Hitler's feared Schutzstaffel.

The parents insist they are not racist, although they don't believe in mingling the races.
And Heath Campbell claims he doesn't understand why people are shocked when they hear his son's full name.

Someone give him a history book.