Sometimes you know the game they are playing but you don't want to be part of it!

I mean it gets kind of old. You want to state clearly what you want to say though. I can understand how some people get tired of the same old bullshit. They want to change it up and do something different.

Nothing wrong with that.

Cano you Cano in Kalamazoo?

Wither Robinson Cano?

He is the biggest star on the Yankees right now and the best player by far. All of the veterans he played with are gone or injured. Jeter. A-Rod. Teixeria. Granderson. Posada. This is his team now.

He is a free agent and wants seven years at over 20 million per year. I just don't think the Yankees should pay that. Now he is an original Yankee in that he came up through the farm system. He is an All-Star. But now is his chance to take the team in his hands and make it his. He needs to be a leader like Jeter. Or put up big numbers like A-Rod. He has done neither. He is a non-factor. Let him go somewhere else for that money. If the Yankees are really worried about the luxury tax lets spend the money on pitching.

Whenever Robbie hits a home run the Yankees radio announcer John Sterling says "ROBINSON CANO DONTCHA KNOW!" 

Well we know Robinson Cano. And a lonely nation turns it's eyes away from you.

Sign with the Dodgers buddy. You ain't showing me shit.

I have better things to do!

 

So there was a beautiful Mass today at St Mary's Star of the Sea. Father Chris announced that the bishop was extending his pastorate for the full twelve year term. Which is really great. He is a tremendous priest and a wonderful pastor.

It is interesting about pastors. Back in the day they would stay for twenty or thirty years and never moved. Now they have set terms and move them around. This really sucks because just when you get used to someone he has to move on. Plus a priest has to uproot himself and start over at an advanced age which is not fair. But that is what bishops do. Bishops are politicians and have no experience dealing with real people in the parishes. So it is no big thing for them but it sucks for those of us in the neighborhoods.

Our church is always full of kids and young families. They come from all around the neighborhood because Father Chris made the church kid friendly. Even though they might run up the aisle during Mass nobody sweats it.

The guy in the background is the former organist Mr. Sal. He had been the organist but just retired after twenty years. They got a new guy who is pretty terrible. I mean he has been late a couple of times which is really bad. Father Chris tells a snappy 45 minute Mass so he is messing with everybody when he is late. Plus his musical ability is not all that great. But I guess that is all you can get with the money they were paying.

By the way Mr. Sal is a finoick of the first water but he managed to go to church and leave his politics out of it. He is kinda sad since PJ Hanley's closed since he used to hang out there every night.

There was a nice baptism right after Mass. I actually stayed afterwards to watch it. It is always inspirational and several other people did as well to welcome the couple into the parish. It was very nice.

Something certain bilious bitches will never experience in their stunted sad lives. Just sayn'

Dear Mrs Steve Phillips

Dear Mrs Steve Phillips

It has been a while since I wrote to you but you keep hanging up when I call the house. I mean I know it is an unlisted number but I was able to get it very easily from another girl Steve had boincked. Steve had boincked a bunch of girls you know. He still is. The check out girl at Walbaums. Your manicurist. His mothers home care attendant. Everybody except you bitch.

Anyhoo I want to see if Steve wants to go with me to the All Star game at Citifield. I know the Mets don't let him in unless he buys a ticket but I got some freebees. You see I have some massage clients up in Massachuets where I live now. I do a lot of the Patriots. Bill Belechick loves his manicures. And his massages. And his Cleveland Steamers. So I have doing a bunch of them so to speak and somehow I got Aaron Hernandez won't be using his tickets. He loved when I massaged his eyeball with my nipples. So Steve and I can check out the game together like we used to do back in the day at ESPN. I even saved the Met stuff he gave me from the lost and found at the stadium.

I even have an old Mr Met's head that I can wear while we have butt sex in the parking lot in my Acura. Just like old times.

I want you to remind the kids to watch out who they link to on Pinterest. They really shouldn't suscribe to my site. Unless they want to see photo's of their Dad's weiner. And Weiner's weiner. I have a whole gallery. Now I admit that Pete Gaamons weiner is interesting because it looks like a tiny white worm in the bottom of a tequila bottle. But take it from me. You shouldn't try to swallow that either.

Please be sure to look both ways when you walk to the car after you get your nails done at A-1 Number Nail parlor. Especailly if you see a dusty brown Acura with a broken windshield.

And a dirty Mr Met head in the back seat.

Toodles,

Your Pal,

Brooke.

Garage Mahal's Road Kill Korner

Garage got started young. In fact this is where his obsession with road kill began. 

Gratiuitous Bathtub Scene: RH Hardin is having a party!

To celebrate the same sex marriage victory, RH Hardin decided to have a pool party. Since he doesn't have a pool he had all his babes hang out in his bathtub.

There was a whole lot of clucking going on.

I started reading "Taken for Granted."

It is really good. The only thing there is one really unbelievable scene.

It seems the heroine meets this old fat private investigator and decides to have wild kinky sex with him. The unbelievable thing is that the guy is so fat he couldn't see his penis. I mean really?

I think I have learned a few things in life.

I think I have learned a few things in life. One of them is that I do not have dominate every conversation. I don't have to carry the ball all the time and should let other people talk and dominate the conversation. I mean they are not as entertaining as me (he said modestly) but what are you gonna do. When I am in social situations now I consciously stop myself from talking. The inane bullshit that spews from other people is somewhat annoying but it seems to please them so let I figure let them go crazy.

I have a saying that I tell the wife all the time. You are not the bride. People aren't hanging on your every word or action. Let them do their own thing.

The last vestiges of the old attitude remains in the internets. I like to argue and I like to state what I think. But now I think it is at the point of diminishing returns. I would like to spend more time on the creative side of things. But I don't know if I have the time or the inclination anymore.

I mean who wants to be Donald Trump?

Sometimes I get tired.

Commenting on the Internet can interesting. But it can also be tiring. You want to express your opinion but it seems that you end up saying the same things over and over again.

Like the fact that killing babies is wrong.

But there is always somebody to disagree. I don't know if it is worth it. I think I tipping point might have been reached. The current law passed in NY has me thinking that it will never get better.

So maybe it is time to move on to other pursuits. Enjoying life. Letting go of the contentiousness. Leave it to the Ritmos of the world.

Sometimes I think I should stop talking.

Hey I thought it was Tony Soprano that was dead?

So the saga of the friends turning 50 continues.

As I might have mentioned all of the wife's friends from grammar school are turning 50 this past year. Today it was Teresa's turn and the event she chose was going into the city to a play. Of course she had to choose a gay play. Ok all plays are gay but this was extra gay. It was the gayest of the gay. Almost everything about it was gay. The actors were gay. 99% of the audience was gay. It was the epi center of gayness in New York City.

The play was Kinky Boots and it is about a shoe factory that stops making wing tips and starts making boots for transvestites. It was pretty boring but it won every award at the Tony's. The lead mo really couldn't sing that well. We have gone to a lot of shows over the years with some great singers and this guy just wasn't that good. He was a decent actor. Well over actor because it was the stage and he was emoting to the guy in the last seat in the Theater. Of course that guy was gay. Just sayn'

The show was a pastiche of recycled Kym-by-ya bullshit. You know what I mean. Gays are the only real people. You have to accept everyone for who they are even if who they are is six foot black dudes in a dress sucking dicks in a dirty men's room. Recycled self congratulatory crapola of politically correct clap trap. With the same songs over and over written by Cindy Lauper.

So the girls all had a great time. I was bored out of my mind. Later we took a photo outside and went for drinks. Lisa posted it on face book as Jim and his bitches.

So I can't bitch to her about it. So I am bitching to youse guys.

So I just bought the book but maybe you should be worried about the title Spinelli

I just got my kindle copy of  "Taken for Granted; A Novel" from Amazon. I plan to read it over the weekend and give it a review. Both here and on Amazon. But I am kind of worried.

I mean look at the Title. If the wife comes up with that title you have to stop for a moment. I mean it's not as bad as "My Husband is an Asshole" or "I Wish I had Married Kevin O"Malley" or "Do You Know a Good Divorce Lawyer." Still the title has to make you think.

Now the blurb is also pretty interesting."As she struggles to answer these questions and discovers the person Kate has become, Caroline is forced to examine her own life and make some painful choices." Painful choices? Dude that don't sound good.

Now it is set in Madison Wisconsin so maybe can see some characters we could recognize. A guy in dirty coveralls with a borrowed dog with a bleached out blond refugee from the set of "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane."  A rotund goober in a stained Packers jersey munching on roasted roadkill while refurbishing a BMW. A guy so middle of the road that he can't walk down the street without straddling a fence and ripping his pants on the white pickets. Now that would be fun!

Anyhoo I can't wait to start reading.

What you never heard of Fat Shaming?

So some miserable cunt had a whole big post about "fat shaming." This is nothing new. The topic of fat and fat bashing is a recurring motive in that miserable twats blog.

Fat shaming happens all the time and has been bouncing around for years. People always have something to say. They want to tell you it is not healthy if you have a few pounds on your fat ass. They want to tell you it is because you have no self control or because you are lazy or whatever. Now that can be true but it could also be genetics or health related or that you just like to fucking eat and you don't think looking like you just got out of Auschwitz is a good look. To those people I have one simple thing to say: fuck you.

It gets really tiresome going over the same nonsense time and again.  Opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one but we don't have to know about them.

James Gandolfini died of excess. He did lots of drugs, smoked, drank to excess and never exercised. You know what? He had a lot of fun in his life. Now he has to pay for it. It is that simple. You can celebrate his talent and his life. But keep your theories to yourself. And have another hot dog....because...tomorrow we die.

What's wrong with tap dancing!

What's wrong with tap dancing!  I mean seriously. Why do they hate Shirley Temple so much?

People have some screwed up priorities.

So long Tony.

Jame Gandolfini also passed away. He was a very good actor but I don't know if he is as great as some are saying. I mean his range was limited. But who the fuck am I to criticize him.

He was not my favorite movie heavy. I would put people like Lee Marvin and Richard Boone and Charles Bronson and Ernie Borgnine over him but he is not out of the discussion.

I have to admit I was worried for him in the last episodes of the Sopranos. I mean he was really fat and he couldn't breathe and was weezing and coughing.

He reminded me of me.

Rest in peace Jimmy. You died too young.

RIP Dave Jennings

One of my all time favorite NY Giants has passed away after a lingering illness.

Punter Dave Jennings was a "True Giant." Even though at the end of his career he spent some time with the dog ass Jets.

Most people don't pay much attention to punters. You only notice them when they don't do their job. So for him to have such a high profile is unusual. He did it by being a fair and articulate interview while he was a player and it carried over when he became an analyst for radio and TV. He would criticize the Giants when they deserved it but was not afraid to praise them when they did it right. He was just as good on the Jets telecasts as he was on the Giants.

He will be missed.

Rest in peace Dave.

Happy Fathers Day!

My Dad was a church guy. Back in the day in the 1960's you basically had two different types of Dads. The ones who would go to church with the family and the ones who stayed home to watch TV. Now a church going Dad might not go first thing in the morning. My Catholic School had mandatory 9AM mass for all the kids where attendance was taken during the school year. So usually your Mom took you or you went with a group of kids from your block with one or two Moms watching over you. The rest of the year you could go anytime you wanted. I thought I was cool stuff when I went to the 12:15 mass with my Dad. Most of the fathers would be at that Mass and then would either go home for Sunday Dinner or go to their club to play cards or whatnot. My Dad would introduce me to his friends who were at Mass. They were all dressed in suits and ties and wore fedoras like they were on the Untouchables or something. That's what it meant to be a grownup. You wore a suit and tie and a hat to church.

He never missed a Mass on Sunday. Rain or shine he would get dressed and go. He was a big wheel in the Knights of Columbus, the Parish Council and the Holy Name Society. Since he was an accountant he always would have people who had questions about taxes or a letter or something and he would help them out. They would stop him in the street and he always had time for them.

You see the thing was he always had time for me. He would take me and my buddies up to Yankee stadium even  though he was a big Met's fan. He would use a weeks vacation to go with us to Boy Scout Camp at Ten Mile River. He was always there if one of the other kids had something they needed to talk about and didn't want to talk to their own Dad about.

Today in Church Father Chris had all the fathers stand up and get a hand from the congregation. There were a lot of guys with their families. But also a bunch of guys by themselves who were my age. They proably went to church with their Dad and kept it up even after he had passed. Fathers Day is a great day to go to Mass and celebrate your Dad.

I think of you every day Daddio. Happy Fathers Day.

I seem to be repeating myself.

Well it seems that there was a repeat of "Big Brooklyn Style" this Friday morning. At six in the morning but hey it was still on. We didn't understand why we got a bunch of online orders at seven in the morning so that cleared that up.

Of course they are not giving us any information. TLC has the rights to repeat it and they have a lot of hours to fill. So I don't know the next time it will be on. But I will watch the schedule and let youse guys know.

We are going lite at dinner lately!

In the summer you have to cut down because you don't want to eat the heavy hearty stews and pastas that you do when it is freezing outside.

So we went with an all appetizer menu.

For the main course Lisa had the spinach salad with the strawberries and figs. I had the prosciutto and melon with the mozzarella.

Light and tasty for a quiet Wednesday night.

It has been very quiet in the loaf pinching department.

I am very surprised at how meekly Titus took his banishment. One face book message and one veiled comment at TOP and that's it.

I guess he has another outlet for his nonsense and is not surprised that he wore out his welcome here. It is pretty funny!

Internet relationships are very weird.  You think you know somebody and then they turn out to be completely different than what you suspect.

In any event I think it was a good thing and the atmosphere is much more congenial without the back biting and diva behavior.

Wednesday night cocktails!

Wednesday night cocktails at Marco Polo!

We had two days off and I was not into cooking tonight. So we went to Marco Polo to have cocktails. Today with was a Strawberry Gimlet. It was much too sweet so we had to switch to something else after the first one.

The joint was deserted again. I guess Wednesday is not a big day for them. They had a big catering job tonight at the Brooklyn Bar Association so most of the regulars were out of the store. So they didn't lose money wise but it was still very quiet.

They are in the book Squire....underlined twice!

Ignatius Feeney: " Ah it is the Squire you are talking about now. You must watch your ways"
Thornton: "I am a free born American and I can say what I want. I don't need to watch what I say."
Ignatius Feeney: "Ah no don't you go saying bad things about the Squire. Get over it boyo!"
Thornton: "Get away from me you lick spittle."

The other shoe.....

From Facebook

"Hi Troop,

I tried to get into your blog and was unable to. I just wanted to write to make sure everything is ok.

You take care.

Love,

Titus, Steve"Reply to this email to comment on this post.

I know I write about Marco Polo and Incognito a lot....

I know I write about Marco Polo and Incognito a lot....but those are "real" Italian restaurants. I mean you can get a really good meal there even if you don't want to go the full guniea.

We went to Marco Polo and I had a great sirloin streak there that was off the hook.

It is when I am away from home that I get suckered into joints that are not real Italian. It takes a couple of visits to scope it out the right way. The one thing I hate is going to the chain stores that are all over the place. But I guess if that is all you know that it is a piece of home.

It is really funny to see tourists come to New York and see them eat in the Olive Garden in Times Square. But I guess it is what you are used to and familar with that you want to eat at.

Right Batman?

I have been laying off the coffee lately.

I have been laying off the coffee lately and switching to tea. Too much coffee gets me too crazy and I try to limit myself to 2 to 3 cups per day. I used to do seven to eight cups so now I am substituting with tea.

Which is good because my coffee connection where I used to get a can for two bucks is gone and I am gonna run out soon.

Hey There It's Yogi Bear!

Jellystone had really gone to pot in the sixties. Not just pot. Coke. H. Meth. The animals were doing everything. They were....well animals.

But that was nothing compared to what happened in the 1970's. You see the sixties were all about peace and love. But the seventies had a harder edge. Wide ties. Leisure fur with gold chains.  Soaring interest rates. A Jellystone malaise.

There was a gas crisis so fewer people were coming to the National Parks. Fewer people meant less money. Less garbage for the bears to eat. Less of everything. So the animals turned to the one thing they had that didn't cost any money.

Sex.

There were every kind of combination back in the day. Hetero. Homo. Crocodile. In fact they opened a sex club called Peter Potomus's Retreat. And Yogi was right in the middle of it. He was into everything. And everyone. It was sick.
(Joseph Barbera. Hey There, It’s Yogi Bear The E True Hollywood Story of Yogi Bear)

Panda Sex with Charles Bukowski

almost dawn
blackbirds on the telephone wire
waiting
as I eat yesterday's
forgotten sandwich
at 6 a.m.
an a quiet Sunday morning.

one shoe in the corner
standing upright
the other laying on it's
side.

yes, some lives were made to be
wasted.

The Summer of Boo Boo

Ever since Papa Bear started drinking and smoking meth the whole family fell apart. He would crawl into Sister Bears bed and Mama would go up on the top bunk with Brother Bear. Sister kind of liked it but it really changed Brother Bear.

It was too much for a Bear to bear. He would talk to himself all the time and he stopped bathing or cleaning himself. Which really worries people when you work in the Post Office.

Soon he was out in the lovers lanes in Jellystone Park looking for long brown furred critters. When he couldn't find them he would go after campers.

It was a bloody business. It was the Summer of Boo Boo.

Hey the Shirts are in!

Well half of them anyway.

I ordered my usual complement of Hawaiian shirts to wear this summer. I get them direct from Hawaii. They are 100% cotton and fit great and are perfect for a hot summer.

I got one with turtles that the wife really hates.

I have to be sure to wear it in plenty of photo's this summer.

A Worthy Charity!

A couple of friends of mine has become involved with an very important new charity. It concerns the problems of homeless felines who have been led into dalliances with wrong companions.

The name of the charity is C.A.T.S. with S.T.D.S.

Yes it is cats with sexually transmitted diseases. Some of them suffer terribly. They become so sex obsessed that some them masturbate until they literally become blind.

Others have been licked by Michael Douglas and given him cancer.

So any contributions you can make to aid these pussies in need will be greatly appreciated.

The Tail of the Bleeding Rare Clumber

My dear Holmes,

It is your most humble petitioner, Inspector Lestrade. It has been almost a year since I have last requested your assistance in the troubling matter of the disappearance
of Lord Douchebag.Today I must inform you of certain changes here at the Yard that are both significant and troubling.

It seems that poor Inspector Gregson has been sacked and is no longer a member of Scotland Yard. As you might recall he had gone undercover in the talking shop that is the salon of  Lady Chatterley and her scruffy gardening inamorata. Gregson had picked up some strange and unsettling habits that most attributed to trying to blend in with the motely crew of malcontents and perverts that populated that nortorious den of inquity. He adopted two strange canine companions and began to be obessed with his bowel movements. The daily
recitation of same had driven most of his compatriots to distraction and led many of them to avoid any social intercourse with him.

Thus Inpsector Gregson was forced to find intercourse in other areas not consistent with the behavior of an inspector of Scotland Yard. In fact the manner of his intercourse has become a matter of scandal and speculation in the Force. Gregson has never had a fiance or even been seen with a member of the fairer sex. Instead he has a succession of roommates who at best could be consider fops and posuers. Recently he has acquired a roommate who was a Sepoy from Her Majestys forces in India. It was a most unsettling situation.

Recently it has come to our attention that Inspector Gregsons canine companions have been bleeding from their anus and are very skittish as they nip at anyone who tries to stand behind them.  Inspector Gregson has been overheard making threats about the families and children of other members of the force and this we could not tolerate. He was cast out of his position and is dead to us here at the Yard.

Therefore I would humbly request that you not receive Gregson in your rooms and not have any further congress with him in the future. You of course the proper judge of your own course of action and my missive is simply a means of informing you of these unfortunate occurrences.

My best to Doctor Watson and I hope he is feeling better. It was indeed surprising that he taken ill after licking his cat but then who can tell where these obscure malady's might originate.I trust he will recover and join you in your efforts in scientific detection.

I remain as always,
Your obedient servant,
Inspector G. Lestrade
November 12, 1898

I am messing up with the new format on the computer.

I am messing up my identies with the new format on my computer. I was one person on Internet Explorer and a different one on Firefox. But Internet Explorer is sucking big time and I am using it for everything. But I have to remember to wear the right socks when I am commenting.

It is a big pain in the ass.

It was a tough day yesterday.

So it has been a really tough couple of days. We get a call yesterday from the store...the phones are not working! Now that is bad enough but when the phone line doesn't work....the credit card machine doesn't work. So I can't make any money.

We immediately contacted Verizon and they bullshitted us that it was a problem with the store. That we had to pull out the jacks to "reset' it and it should be fine. Well we did and nothing changed. Five calls later we found out that it wasn't just our store....it was a whole area where a junction box got fried. They said it will not be fixed until Friday night around seven o'clock. That means I am without a credit card machine from Wednesday morning till Friday night. How about them apples?

We cobbled together a temporary band aid. As each customer came in we sold them the goods through our website. Of course I had to refund the shipping but what are you gonna do?

We were so pissed we decided to go to Marco Polo for a cocktail for the first time in a while as we had still been sick. The joint was empty for some reason. I guess it was a combination of being a beautiful night and that it was Wednesday. Anyway we decided to sit with Tony at the bar.

It was time to try something different so we went with the taste of mango which was run with crushed mango and mint and some peach bitters. It was tasty but not enough of a kick for me so I went with a different drink on the next round. We kept it light with a baked ricotta in a tomato gazpacho with cumcumber and  a plate of mozzarella in carozza. Then salads. Caesar salad for Lisa and an arugla and fried peaches for me.

We just needed to chill out.

I am having a lot of computer problems.

I am having a lot of problems with my computer.

I had a start up problem for the past couple of weeks with wierd messages and bullshit happening everyday. Today I couldn't get it started so I had to go back to scratch and reinstall everything. I backed up my stuff but I will be a while accessing it

I look at it as a fresh start.

The Summer should be about fun!

I want to enjoy this summer and not have to worry about nonsense. I have enough to worry about in the business that I don't need to add to the problem with extraneous bullshit.

I just want to sit in the yard and enjoy my sausage and pepper hero and smell the roses. Just sayn'

Hey I want to show you my meat.

A nice piece of London Broil. Cooked to pink in the inside and nice an juicy.

Served with a big salad with bib lettuce, red onion, black olives, cucumbers, walnuts and ricotta salada. Also some grilled asparagus and zucchini.

For the Roses!

The Roses are in bloom. In the back yard of course.

They come out in early June and early September after I prune them back.

They are beautiful and make the back yard a little oasis in the middle of the city.

So we opened up the grill

Time to barbeque. I have been cooking up a storm since Memorial Day.

Tonight I made sausage and peppers on the grill. I grilled a couple of sausage ring and I have a flame on the side of the grill to cook up a mess of peppers and onions in the wok. After grilling the sausages I add them to the peppers and onions to adsorb the flavor.

Serve with a side salad and some crusty Italian bread.

And vino of course.

Branded

 
It has come to my attention that Titus went after chickenlittles kids in a recent post at TOP.

Now I have put up with a lot from Titus. I mean I do like some of his nonsense and I do find it amusing to mock his pretensions in posts that extrapolate from his stream of consciousness. He seems to have migrated his act to here from TOP as he posts here a lot more than at TOP. Maybe it is time he went back there and shared his bowel movements with them.

I think children are off limits. I felt the same way about what happened with Tm and his kids. I couldn't do anything about that. But I can do something about this.

So I deleted Titus and withdrew his permission to view this site.

I do believe in free speech but I don't want to be a hypocrite about it. When we had that big dustup about J there was a demand to delete or ban him from TOP. That did not happern. Perhaps because it is not techincally possible. But with my set up it is.

So he is out.

I have zero tolerance for attacking peoples kids.

Hell Needs A New PA Announcer

Forcas: Will you be interviewing any new announcers my dread Lord.
Lucifer: Yeah we might as well give it a shot. I am pretty fucking bored pulling the fly's off of Bo Belinsky. Who do we have in the last bus?
Forcas: Well we have several people that will be coming in. We have a couple of those Tornado chasers assholes who needlessly get in the way of rescue workers.

Lucifer: No those science guys are boring. Who wants to hear about their barometer falling. What else you got.

Forcas: Well we have the beloved star of a seventies sitcom.

Lucifer: Holy shit! You mean Sally Struthers is finally here? I can't wait to feed her living flesh to starving moolies. I have to get her back for those fucking commercials that curly haired cunt.
Forcas: No not her either. It is her mother Edith Bunker also know as Jean Stapleton.

Lucifer: Holy Shit. I can't fuckin' wait. Shove her in Forcas!
Forcas: Right away Sire!
Jean Stapleton: (slides down the stairwell to hell and tumbles at the feet of Satan and his right hand fallen angel Forcas, she groans and rubs her vagina) What’s going on here? One minute I was walking to a bright light and met a man in a robe with a clipboard and the next thing I know a trap door opens and I am roasting my tootsies off. 

Lucifer: Welcome to hell bitch. Boy do I have a lot of good shit planned for you!

Jean Stapleton: Wait a minute! This can't be right. I was a beloved figure because I played Edith Bunker who was like everybody's Mom. Why am I in hell?

Lucifer: Tough shit baby. You are here on the Norman Lear Protocol. Anybody that starred in one of those commie sitcom has to burn in hell for all eternity. Plus you committed a big faux paw baby that the Big guy will never forgive.

Jean Stapleton: What could I possibly have done?

Lucifer: Why you starred in the orignial company of "Damn Yankees!" Don't you know that God is a big time Yankee fan? Anybody that disses  the Bronx Bombers or causes them problems comes straight to the hot seat. Forcas get her ass out of here she is annoying me.
Forcas: Yes Sire. (Two burley demons grab Jean and drag her away as she protests feebly that she is a serious actress and a liberated woman and everybody loves her and she couldn't be treated this way)
Lucifer: What a maroon. Foras send her to sitcom hell with Fred Mertz and Freddie Prince and Bonnie Franklin. Strip her naked and tie her in a 69 with Maude. They can carpet munch through all eternity. Except that Bea Arthur might like that. Have Liberace cornhole while she is doing that. That should cover all the bases.
Forcas: Very well my lord. Who will we have announcing today?
Lucifer: I don't know. I guess I have to wait until Bob Gamere or Bob Costas shows up to get a real announcer. Hurry up and finish up so we can watch some TV. I just got Net Flicks and I want to check out some flicks.

It's all there in black and white.

"Why Trey it has been so long since I have seen you. What have you been up too?"
"What's the matter has the cat got your tongue?"
"There are much better uses for your tongue my friend."
"Trey why are you turning blue and holding your chest."
"Wouldn't you like to hold my chest instead?"
"Trey...Trey...TREY!"
"Oh well I better call the lifeguard."

Betty Rubble is a dirty girl.

She doesn't like it when you don't pay attention to her.

She paticularly doesn't like it when she is left behind.

So to speak.

Marilyn's Diary

Uncle Herman tried to spice things up when Aunt Lily started to lose interest in their sex life.

He joined a motorcycle gang and got all tough and macho and came home and smacked Aunt Lily around. She liked it but it wasn't enough to turn her on. You see a succubus she lived for pain and degradation so nothing outre turned her on. Even when Uncle Herman took her on a run with the Hells Angels and put her out there as his old lady for all of the bikers to gang bang. She went for it like a champ and sucked the life blood out of several of them until they went screaming into the night.

So Uncle Herman took off his leathers and put them in the attic.

Grandpa took them to New York when he joined that new musical group the Village people.

There was a lot of sucking going on there too.

But that was a different story.

Tim Tebow needs to get stabbed in a strip club or something.

So there is an article on MSN today where they say that Tim Tebow feels that he will not be in the league this year. Which is pretty stupid because the kid is a winner. He won in college and when he got a chance he took Denver to the playoffs. He never got a shot with the dog ass Jets and was released and now he is being blackballed.

I think it is because he is a vocal and commited Christian. There are plenty of shitheads in the league who have ten babies with ten different woman or kill dogs or get stabbed in strip clubs. They have no problems getting a gig. But a kid who has a following and is a proven winner can't get a shot when there are tons of shitty QB's in the league.

It just sucks.

For the Yankees the World Series is the World Series.

I would like to congratulate all you little Mets fans for the sweep that your team laid on my Yankees. I know that this was the highlight of your season. Actually of this century. So you should enjoy it because if was a convincing series of wins for youse guys as your pitching held up very nicely.

Of course that means nothing.

You see when the Mets play the Yankees it is like their World Series. They get all hopped up and go crazy. If they win like they just did they are exstatic and coming in their pants.

Of course for the Yankees only the World Series is our World Series. If we don't make it to the Series and win then it is a wasted season.

In the next few weeks we will get back three Hall of Famers as well as a power hitting centerfielder and a slick fielding first baseman. So I am sanguine.

But enjoy your win guy. Nice little team you have there. Hope you can stay out of last place.

See you in October.