House of Pizza Update

Lisa tells me I am corrupting Omar and all of his little buddies. They are mini-trooper yorks. Now they all go to the Italian bakery for apple turnovers and espresso. They curse out the "Dirty Yuppies" and the "Dirty Hippies." They all hate Obama and De Blasio. Want to get guns and not pay taxes.

And they all want to go to the House of Pizza for a slice.

Now that my Granddaughter is here Omar is driving us around a lot. Plus we are working on the back room so we are going to get supplies and lighting and this and that. So when we have to stop for lunch I say "Where do youse guys want to go?" They all shout "The House of Pizza and Calzone."

This was one of the three places I ate lunch every day when I was in grammar school. It is right across the street from the panele store on the other side of the highway. It will be in a couple of scenes in "Joey Gallo's Lament" if I can ever find enough time to pick up the story.

They have great pizza. Even better Sicilian slices. But best of all is the deep fried calzones.

These beauties are deep fried in oil that has been there since I was in grammar school. Deep fried in their crusty glory they have no meat on Fridays which meant that Omar could have some today since he doesn't do pork. I had to forego it because of my diet. Having a slice of pizza was bad enough. Or good enough.

But everybody else had a grand old time. Worth the trip.

I am lucky it is ten blocks away and too far to walk to on a regular basis.

Losing weight while eating pizza

We have been losing weight while eating pizza. Crazy right?

Now it is not an regular pizza. What I do is get a "Mission Wrap" which has a net of 6 carbs. Which is very good as you carbs turn into sugar.

I toast it in the broiler for 3 minutes till it is nice and toasty. In the frying pan I sauté  some shallots, mushrooms and button tomatoes. Add a dash of Mrs. Dash tomato/basil/herb spice mix with some oregano and red pepper. Occasionally I add some cut up ham. You can basically add any veggie or topping you want like black olives or pepperoni or whatever.

Then I take the wrap out of the broiler and flip it over to the uncooked side. Add the mixture from the frying pan with some fresh basil. Finally I add some coarsely grated Gruyere cheese which is the perfect cheese topping. Also some fresh Goat Cheese usually the garlic and herb infused one. Put in the broiler for two more minutes or the regular over for five or six minutes if you want to be more leisurely about it.

You have a delicious faux thin crust pizza with low calories and low fat with no sodium. We are really enjoying them.

It is almost like having a real pizza.

I have come to the conclusion......

That  you shouldn't link religion and pizza. So don't give up pizza for Lent. It is not right. I went looking for a sign and I found it.

 Next year I am giving up something I can do without. Like the internets. Or TV.

What would Jesus order......

I think a regular Neapolitan margarita pie. You know with just mozzarella and red sauce. None of these fancy four cheese thingy's.

If he appeared at your house I bet he would bring a pie.

Everybody would rather talk about pizza

Even Palladian loves his pizza. Just sayn'

People need to stop worrying about nonsense...

And concentrate on the goods things in life. I can think of three of them right off the bat.

Well four actually.

Oh no not another one......

Some people are obsessed with cats. Some people are obsessed with pizza.

But the two don't mix.

While I am putting away the winter inventory...

You know what I am thinking about. Only one more day until Lent is over!!!!!

What kind of pizza would you serve at a SSM reception....

Why one with a gay icon on it.

Just sayn'

If Amy were to write a post about pizza.....

This is what it would look like!

Chuck knows exactly what I mean.

Squirrel!!!!!

Some people like to distract you. You know like Ritmo and garage. When their team is getting their ass kicked they bring up some irrelevant crapola to derail the conversation.

Don't try and do that about pizza.

Even the squirrels love their pizza.

Sometimes you need a dessert pie.....

And you can get it in pizza. Here is the Nutella thin crust pizza with strawberries the way they serve it at Enoteca on Court St. It is thin crust which is great and covered in powdered sugar. You know. Like spinelli's wardrobe after the donuts.

It is a great dessert pizza.

I don't know what you gave up for lent....

 I gave up pizza.

It was very hard not to eat pizza, especially on a no meat day like Good Friday. I always liked Lent because that was the only time we were guarrantied a pizza when we were kids. Getting a pizza was a big treat back in the day and we really only had it on a Friday night. It cost three dollars for a whole pie back then. Slices went for ten cents a piece.

I like to get a slice every time I pop out of the store. Go to the bank...get a slice. Go to mail a letter....get a slice. Go to get paper towels from CVS....get a slice.

So I am pizza deprived.

A slize of Brooklyn!

Sorry I didn't post yesterday but we had a full day of shooting and I was involved in most of the shots so I couldn't go in the back to blog.

We had a trunk show which is basically a party where a designer shows off her new dresses and the customers come in to see the spring line and put in their orders for those things that we make limited numbers of so they can secure a piece. Now we have had many trunk shows in the store and it is pretty much a well oiled machine. Of course the show had to change it.

The first thing they did was they got an actual trunk. It was a huge steamer trunk that was in the antique store on the corner of my house where we buy antiques and knick knacks all the time for the store. So they decide I should go down the street to get the trunk. As we are walking down Court St they call on the walkie talkie to ask if the trunk is ready at the store. They go "No it is back in the office." Why was I going to buy it when I already had it? Another well organized scene right. So they scream for the PA to come running down the street with it. They stop me a block away from the store and set up the scene in the antique store.

The PA choocth comes running down the street and the fucking trunk is enormous. I go "There is no fucking way I can carry that with my fucking wagon." So we set it up that the store lends me a handtruck to push it up the street.

We do a little piece of business in the store and I start pushing it up Court St. I go to the segment producer guy "Are we under any time constraints." Once I explain what "constraints" mean (TV people aren't very bright) they tell me we have tons of time. So I go "Shouldn't I do what I normally do?" "Of course you should." "Great we are getting some fuckin' pizza."

Normally I take any chance I can to sneak a piece of pizza when the wife can't see me doing it as she is always after me to cut down. So we pull in front of "World Pie" and I leave the hand truck outside and walk in and order a slice. The Mexican dude puts it in the oven to heat up as the producer runs around getting everyone to sign a release as they will be on camera. You see I thought it would be comical me juggling a hot slice of pizza while I am pushing this enormous trunk down the street. And it was pretty funny.

So the slice is ready and the guy puts it on the counter on a paper plate. The producer goes "Wait don't start eating yet the camera isn't ready." I go "Fuck that I'm hungrey. I can order another slice dude. Relax yourself. This is a pizza store. There is a lot of fucking pizza."

So we set it up and we get the scene and it looks great.

Writer, producer, pizza eater. I am a triple threat baby.

Sams slice was great!

In my recap I forgot to give my review of Sam's slice. It was great the prototypical Brooklyn Slice. Made in a steel two decker oven it is made with Polly O cows milk mozzarella, olive oil and San Marizano tomato sauce that was cooked before it was put on the slice. The sauce had traces of basil and garlic and was quite sweet to the taste. Easy to fold and great to eat it is the perfect "Brooklyn Slice."

We are going back tonight for some more.

The Pizza Bus is back in Town!

So we went on the Pizza Tour and I have to say it was pretty great. I had low expectations because it was run by a very entusahitic hipster named Scott Wiener but I to have to admit he knew his pizza.

We started at Lombardi's which was were pizza was invented. The first pizza shop to be licensed as such they are the shop from which all other pizza stores sprung. Which is appropriate as they are on Spring Street. They had a coal burning brick oven and we got to go to the back and see the oven in operation. The slice was made with California Tomatoes, Cows milk mozzarella and was very tasty if slightly undercooked for my taste. Your basic Margarita pizza. A superior slice and well worth the visit if you are interested in the history of pizza.

Then we went to Luzzo's on First Avenue which had a wood burning oven. This Neapolitan slice was much sweeter as they used Buffalo Milk mozzarella and tomatoes from San Marinzano in Italy. The slice tasted much sweeter and lighter and is highly recommended in my book.

Next we jumped on the bus to Brooklyn which is pretty funny because I thought we were going to the Bronx. I don't get to the Bronx all that often so I was looking forward to some new joints but they changed the tour at the last minute.

So where do we go but to J&V Pizza which is just like a million other pizza joints in the city. The funny thing is that it is right across the street from the OTB where the wife used to work and the owners used to come in all the time and bet their asses off and lose the weeks take. They served a Grand Ma square slice that was very crunchy and not up to the rest of the slices. They had other slices that were better but the one they picked was not up to par.

But the joker in the deck, the O Henry ending is the last stop. Sams in Carroll Gardens. Three blocks from the store. I go on a tour to see history and they bring me to my house. You see I grew up with Louie who owns the joint since we were pissing our diapers on Tompkins Place where we both born. I haven't been in there in about twenty five years. Now I know I had a beef with him but I forget what it was. It was either the time his cat sat on my veal cutlet ptarmigan or the time he was screaming at his 90 year old waiter and my buddy's wife got all upset. I don't remember which. So I haven't gone in there in years. So we pull up in the bus and we all get off and we walk in the joint. Louie looks at me and goes "You live in the neighborhood forty freaking years and you have to take a bus here?" Hey waddayagonnado?

Oh the tour guide was shitting his pants. Louie and I growled at each other a while but it was no big deal. We have been friends for over fifty years after all. I honestly don't go down that part of Court St anymore so I really just forgot about it. I promised I would be back soon. So things got back to normal and we caught up on the news of all the old timers we used to know. Who was dead. Who was in jail. Whatever. Old times.

We could have just gone home but we rode the bus back with our friends to have dessert in Little Italy. It was a fun day. I recommend the tour if you are in NYC. The kid who runs it is cool. You will have fun.

Don't get thrown under the pizza bus!

We are playing hooky tomorrow and going on the Pizza Bus Tour. This friend of ours is involved in pitching a reality show about this guy who goes to different pizza stores in the city and they invited us to go on the pizza bus tour. We are hitting a few joints in Manhattan and the Bronx which is cool because I don't get to the Bronx all that much.

So I will be out of touch and away from the computer.

Play nice.

Heya havea soma pizzia pie!!!!

Pizza is a tricky subject. So many people have different opinions about what constitutes a good piece of pizza. There are “Brooklyn” pies, “Chicago Deep Dish” pies, “Sicilian” pies, “Grandma” pies, “Thin crust” pies and the cardboard abortion pie know as Domino’s. Every style has its partisans and they can be very vociferous in defense of their favorite pie.

The “Brooklyn” pie is of course my favorite. Round and generally cut into eight or twelve triangular slices, it is also called the Neapolitan pie as it originated in Naples when the tomato was first introduced to Italy. Them margherita pie with basil and fresh mozzarella is the ultimate of this type and in my humble opinion the best of all pizza’s. This is the pizza that you go to the pizza store and buy a slice. Add mushrooms or anchovies or sausage or black olives or pepperoni to your taste. But you can’t beat a slice fresh out of the oven. Unless it is reheated. Then it is even better.

The appeal of the Chicago Deep Dish pie always eluded me. An old pizza shop owner who owned the Gloria Pizzeria used to mock these pies. He called it cake. He would say ”You wanna eata cake or you wanna eata the pizza..” I know this is a style that you Midwesterners love but I think of it as a silly regional fad like grits or the Dallas Cowboys or cow tipping. But hey if you love it knock yourself out.

The “Sicilian” or Square pie is the staple of New York Pizza shops. A rectangular pie it is almost exclusively just tomato and mozzarella but is also very cake like. The ratio of how they are prepared in New York pizzerias is about 5 rounds to 1 square pie. And some people swear by the corner piece and say it is the best slice of pizza you can get. I like it for variety sake but I can live without it.

The “Grandma” or “White” pie is generally made without sauce, that is to say tomato sauce and is generally just mozzarella cheese and basil. If Mort was awake he would say since the Grandma pie is all white, that it is racist. And we all know that Obama thinks all Grandmas’ are racist so I guess we can call it the politically incorrect pie.

The “thin crust” pie is as you know exactly that the direct antithesis to the deep dish or the Sicilian pies. An extremely thin paper like crust allows this pie to get extra crispy. I think this is the most overrated pie and its chief proponent Grimaldi’s down in Dumbo is the most overrated pizza shop in the world. Stupid tourist line up like cattle and wait when the pizza shop at Hanley’s on Court St makes thin crust just as good. But hey whatever floats your boat.

As far as Domino’s or frozen pizzas like Celestino go, you might as well eat the fucking box.

So that’s our pizza review for those of you who voted for a slice as your go-to on the go food.

What kind of pizza is your favorite?

Hey there Pizza Man!

New York Post Weird but True (December 15, 2008)

It's not pepper spray - it's pepperoni "spray."

A deliveryman in Miramar, Fla., fought back when a stickup man pulled a gun on him - using a hot pepperoni pizza.

Eric Lopez Devictoria, 40, hurled the steaming pie at the teen thug, and ran for safety as the gunman got off at least one shot, police said.