Sexy cows know how to accept an appolgy.

It has come to my attention that some dimwitted arrogant douchenozzles are trying to start trouble again over what happened between Allie and me that caused a big ruckus. As you might recall Allie had posted some comments about her daughter and I was mean to her because I didn't believe her. It got pretty heated and we went back and forth about it. The only reason why I mentioned her daughter was because Allie brought it up. We mixed it up pretty good but Allie was woman enough to reach out to me to explain that I was wrong.

I was wrong. And I apologized to her. She has become a valued part of the gang here and her contributions are highly valued here. I was complete wrong in not believing her and I apologize to her and she has graciously accepted it.

So any scumbuckets who want to rehash it and start more trouble should go fuck themselves with Andrew Sullivan's dick.

I had previously had some very nasty fights with hdhouse in the same vein. We went at it tooth and nail and called each other really nasty hurtful stuff. I don't know how this shit happens. Some days I might not be feeling well or I am pissed off and something rubs me the wrong way and I go nuclear. But the funny thing is that both hd and Allie are valuable commenter's here because we share something. We are all reasonable and dare I say it "nice" people. We are not arrogant pompous dimwitted douchenozzles who would not appolgize if they ran over a blind nun who was crossing with the light. I think we have a genuineness and a humanity that is sorely lacking in some people who think their shit don't stink.

As John Lennon once famously said "Insta-Karma" is gonna get you. What goes around comes around. The emperor has no clothes. They are all pink on the inside.

I just want to say that I am very happy that Allie accepted my apology and that we are good.

And for those of you who want to stir up more shit because of your misunderstanding of the facts....do me a favor.....eat shit and die.

Sexy Cows can be Grandma's too!

Elsie is pretty much retired now. She was tired of the rat race and her voracious sexual encounters. The several children she had with different bulls are all out of the barn now and she lives a qiuet life in Wisconsin. She chose Wisconsin because they are famous for cheese and boredom. You see she wants to live a boring life making cheese in place no one would try to look her up because no one in their right mind would want to go if they didn't have to visit family or something. Her grandkids stay with her over the summer and she loves to read to them. She only sends them out to play on the lake if the plumber comes over to clean out her pipes.

Elsie might be old but she is still a sexy cow.

(Got Milk, The E True Hollywood of Elsie the Cow)

Sexy Cows have a tough life

After Gale Sayers dropped her Elsie was devastated. She quit her job as a spokes cow and moved to rural Wisconsin. She got married to a very nice normal guy who had nothing to do with show business or sports. They had four beautiful children. After he passed she realized something that was apparent all along. She was a lesbian.

She started to diet and cut out all dairy products from her diet. She changed her diet and moved into a small house in Madison with her partner Nina and they spend all their time at protests against Scott Walker and circulating recall petitions.

Well she does spend some time on the Internet flirting with lonely men just to keep her hand in the game.

Because no matter how much her life has changed over the years......she still remains a sexy cow.
(Got Milk, The E True Hollywood of Elsie the Cow)

Sexy Cows have a tough life

Elsie and Brian had a torrid affair. They just couldn't keep their hands off of each other. It started to sap his strenght and Gale started to have problems on the field. George Halas was irate. He couldn't let his best running back be distracted by some cow. Plus Halas was a bigot. He didn't want to see a black man with a white cow. So he went to talk to Sam Giancana who was running the outfit in those days. Momo didn't like it either since he was also a bigoted guy. He talked it over with the commission and they were all agreed. The word came down. Any black dude who worked for the Mafia could not date a white girl. It was bad for business. So they had Frank Sinatra tell Sammy Davis that he had to drop Kim Novak. It broke his heart. They had Paul Ricca tell Gale that he had to give up his mad affiar with Elsie. But it didn't work.

You see Gale was made of sterner stuff. He refused and even though the Mafia controlled the NFL he didn't care. He kept loving Elsie. So the Mob had to send a message. They shot up Gale's best friend Brian Piccolo when he went throught the toll booth at the Jones Beach causeway on the Meadowbrook Parkway. He was shot full of holes. When Gale visited him in the hospital he knew that he had to break it off with Elsie. He couldn't let them hurt anyone else.

He couldn't let them hurt his beloved cow.

(Got Milk, The E True Hollywood of Elsie the Cow)

Sexy Cows have a tough life

Elsie started to have a hard time keeping her personal life from leaking into her performances. She was supposed to be this clean and wholesome presense who would encourage children to drink milk while still being sexy enough for men to pay attention to her. She had to be someone every man wanted to be with and every woman wanted to be like but it was harder and harder to keep up the pretense. Then it all changed. She fell in love.

She had always had a preferance for the dark meat and loved to hang around Sammy Davis Jr's apartment with Kim Novak and all of Sammy's musician friends. She liked black guys because they were the only ones who could touch the sides. Having sex with those Irish or Jewish guys was like throwing a hot dog down a hallway. And Elsie was a very sexual cow.

One day when she showed up at the apartment, Kim told her aside and told her that some football players that Sammy knew were coming by and she would introduce them. They were some players from the Chicago Bears. Mike Ditka. Dick Butkis. Brian Piccolo. And a beautiful young man named Gale Sayers.

Elsie was in love.

(Got Milk, The E True Hollywood of Elsie the Cow)

Sexy Cows have a tough life

Elsie immediately became a big hit. Everyone loved her. Her face was on all the milk cartons and she didn't even have to be hidden in the basement of a Penn State Assistant coach. She made tons of personal appearances and was always on call to do the Jack Parr show when they couldn't get Hildegarde or Topo Giggio. She was the toast of the Worlds Fair and was photographed all around town. Jack Kennedy invited her to the White House and the rumor is he was obsessed with having sex with her teats in the White House pool. He had a bad back so they had to be careful when they had sex. Kennedy was famous for having his two secretaries Fiddle and Faddle get naked and have sex with him in the White House pool. They were a little freaked out about including a cow in their sex games but they knew that JFK was into bestiality since one of his favorite things was getting a rim job from Helen Thomas. So they would all splash around in the pool like a bunch of perverted otters as Fiddly and Faddle would hold Elsie's teats around JFK's tiny Irish member as he moved back and .....err it was pretty kinky.

With all that hdhouse made sure that Elsie had a pristine image. She was in the tabloids having milkshakes with Pat Boone and eating grilled cheese sandwiches at the Stage Deli with Chuck McCann after she had appeared on his show to tell all the boys and girls to drink their milk.

They even made a pilot where Elsie played a suburban matron with two young kids called "Leave it to Bovine" but they decided to go with a Beaver instead.

Elsie was very dissappointed.
(Got Milk, The E True Hollywood of Elsie the Cow)

Licking

Licking

Thank you for always
being my friend & licking
my rear end... of my face
and not chewing on
my favorite shoe lace.
You never sprayd me
with mace
when i violated
your personal space


Jordan Johnson

Sexy cows are better to contemplate......

Then email exchanges that will not go anywhere. As ricpic can tell you somethings you have to take things into your own hands. Just Sayn'

Sexy cows can take over your dreams.....

If you are the kind of guy who can beat a metaphor into the ground.

As Titus would say:

Teats!

Sexy cows begging to be milked

For comments.....and so much more!

Sexy cows riding motorcycle's............

Like the Sons of Homogenization or something.