Monday, October 26, 2009

Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend


Toot’s Shors Saloon, May 5, 1962
Toots: Hey Joe, great to see you. I haven’t seen you in while.
Joe DiMaggio:
Toots: And look who you have with you….Charo baby where is your Xavier? Does he know you are out?
Charo: (an extremely young girl who answers in a breathy sexy voice) Yello Tootise….mi Xavier is muy Viejo. He so old. He needs his rest. But Jose wanted to meet me for a drink and some food and maybe som cootchie-cootchi….how can I say no to the Yankee Zippper.
Toots: Hey Joe…..ah…Marilyn’s here…in the back…just so you know.
Joe DiMaggio:
Toots:
I don’t want no trouble Joe, why don’t youse crumbums just go up and say hello.(Joe takes Charo’s hand and walks to the back and stands in front of Marilyn who is visibly drunk and looking blowsy at her table)
Marilyn: Joe….fancy meeting you here…who’s the spic whore.
Charo: Jello Miss Monroe it is your pleasure to meet you. Me nombre is María del Rosario Pilar Martínez Molina Baeza. But you can all me Charo. Nice to meet chu (She extends her hand shyly, but Marilyn ignores it)
Toots: Hey lets siddown and have a couple of pops.
Charo: Bueno. (Charo sits down opposite Marilyn and as she does her legs are slightly open. She is not wearing any underwear. Neither is Marilyn. As each sit their tense twats queef at each other like two mallards about to fight) Senor Jose I remember when I was a little girl living in a small fishing village in Spain. My old grandfather used to take me out to the village to the cinema. And we would see Mrs. Monroe in the motion pictures. Mucho anos ago.
Marilyn; Jesus, Joe how young is this bitch, she must be all of sixteen.
Charo: I am old enough senora. But no so vieja as tu.
Marilyn: Joe you gonna let this bitch talk like that to me? Me? JOE?
Joe DiMaggio:
Charo: Why is ju so upset Mrs Marilyn? I am not making the funs. I respect my elders. By the way you have a lot of grey hair on your conyo…maybe you should put the dye on it or shave it like your moustache, no? Shouldn’t she Jose?
Joe Dimaggio:
Marilyn: What nothing to say…you gonna let this loopy latin cunt talk to me this way……well screw you…you guinea motherfucker (Marilyn throws her drink at Joe, picks up her purse and storms out of the saloon)
Charo: Oooooohh baby let me clean ju off. (Charo starts to wipe off Joe with a towel, he pushes her away)
Toots Shor: What a crazy broad man, forget about her Joe.
Joe DiMaggio: Get me her doctor on the phone. Tell I said it was ok to give her back her pills.
Toots Shor: But Joe why do you want to get involved again? Just let it go and have some rice and beans with this hot young chickie.
Joe DiMaggio: I have to look after her, I’m all she’s got.
Toots: You sure Joe?
Joe DiMaggio: DO LIKE I TELL YOU AND SHADUPP!

8 comments:

Michael Haz said...

Trooper, go here, and click on the photo to enlarge.

Michael Haz said...

By the way, Trooper, your new Archbishop is quite a baseball fan. you'll enjoy this, especially the final paragraph.

Penny said...

That's a beautiful portrait of Marilyn. I noticed from the comments on your site, Michael, that Chicklit would have preferred a painting that looked more like a photograph of Marilyn, and frankly that is a common reaction by many.

Photographs capture a moment in time, while paintings capture the artist's feelings of a moment in time.

chickelit said...

Rip me a new one Penny why don't ya?

I was just giving my first impression. And I actually hesitated because I thought I might hurt Michael's feelings.
Anyways, I was mainly reacting to the color chosen for the shaded portion under her chin. Maybe it would look different in different lighting?

In any case, I'm a hillbilly rube when it comes to art-with one exception-some originals done by a friend that I own.

So there.

Penny said...

Wow, not ripping on you, chicklit. I was really just talking out loud, and as someone who is trying her hand at painting.

I can't draw OR paint very well, and even if I could, I suspect I would never be a painter trying to perfectly recreate photographs. Much more of a "broadbrush" type.

One thing I am learning though is this. Not so good to show your work to non-painters and expect positive reactions UNLESS one of two things is going on. One, the painting looks like a painted photograph or two, it looks pretty, somehow.

My comments were more about me fighting the urge to fall into that particular trap of judging my own "art" by someone else's expectations.

Course, some chickenshits would already know this if they weren't dallying with catwoman while on duty. Right, Trey?

Trey?...*knock knock knock*... Trey?

Thank GOD he isn't a pilot.

Michael Haz said...

I should have posted a better photo of the painting, but my crappy camera can't do it justice.

It is an impressionist painting, as opposed to a portrait that is supposed to look like a photograph.

Impressionist paintings of the human form are best when they use the minimum brushstrokes necessary to establish the what the artist intended the viewer to see.

In the Marilyn portrait, the artist accomplishes that, while using very bright colors that show her as youthful and vibrant.

The emphasis is on her face, the only part of the painting that is completed. Her hair reflects the colorfulness of her youth, blown in a slight breeze. Her face is vibrant, emotional, lovely, sexual.

When I saw the painting I had to have it. My wife an I were out for a stroll and walked past the gallery window just as the painting was being put on display.

We have three other paintings by the artist, have met him, and really like his work.

We walked to a pub down the street, had a couple of pints of Guinness, and decided to take Marilyn home. The gallery wouldn't let her go that evening because the paint was still damp, and because the artist hadn't yet made a full-scale photo from which to sell prints.

We took it home one week later.

You'd think that a painting like this might not be what a women would want displayed in her home. Turns out that Marilyn is my wife's favorite. Not because the subject is an iconic sex symbol, but because of the composition of the piece.

Plus, my wife teaches film and theater, so she understandes the Monroe story

Sorry for rambling on so long!

Trooper York said...

Great post about Bishop Dolan and great painting Michael H.

It is interesting how kindred spirits can hang out on the internets.

Penny said...

And now Michael has two beauties...his wife and Marilyn.

The reason I was so taken with this was because it looked like a watercolor to me. When you said the painting needed to "dry", I figured it probably wasn't a watercolor, but I wanted to see more of this guy's work. Sure enough, oils, but at least half look more like watercolors than most watercolors!

He's good. In fact, he's VERY good.