Sunday, October 18, 2009

It's all there in black and white.

"Oh hello Trey. I am afraid I can't have a session today. I am going out on a date with my new boyfriend."
"Really Selina? Why don't you introduce me."
"Of course. Trey say hello to my friend Theo. His is a musical prodigy. "
"Nice to meet you Theo."
"Yeah same here Doc."
"Where did you youngsters meet."
"Why right here at the hospital. Theo volunteers several days a week.....he teaches music....I love music."
"Well I don't know if that is quite enough to build a relationship."
"We have a lot in common. Theo plays the flute. I love to play the skin flute....Trey....Trey...why did you eyes roll back in your head?"
"Hey are you OK there Doc?"

15 comments:

Michael Haz said...

Favre's Vikings 6-0

Trooper's Giants 5-1

Heh.

Trooper York said...

The devil made them do it.

chickelit said...

Paging governor Moonbeam Link

Anonymous said...

Chickenlittle, Linda Ronstadt is to music what Governor Moonbeam, or perhaps our current president, is to government: She had a range of about an octave, the technical ability of a chipmunk, an emotional range from A to B, and her voice was always the same-old-same-old.

Looked cute, tho.

chickelit said...

Well OK then. Rip on originality: Link.

Anonymous said...

As the resident Music Therapist, I think I can say those things.

In fact, it's my professional opinion that Hillary Clinton and Linda Ronstadt are, in fact, the same person.

Here's Ronstadt 16 years ago. Imagine what she looks like today. Except for the dark wig, does she not bear a striking resemblance to the Secretary of State?

Has anyone ever seen them together? For that matter, when's the last time anyone has seen Linda Ronstadt?

They're both the same age and kind of zaftig women. Not bad, but the same body type. I think if you're not blinded by political prejudice, you can see what Bill saw in her.

Hillary could easily have slipped into that dark wig and jetted around in her double life as a pop star. After all, the only thing she said wanted to do was get away from those hicks in Arkansas. What better way than hanging out with another Governor of a much better state?

I don't think Bill was jealous, as he knew the score with Jerry Brown. Just a little cultural exchange. Got Hillary out of Little Rock, so she could lead her exciting double life, and left Bill alone to...well, be Bill with the locals.

Now, playing the "Linda Ronstadt" character has gotten harder and harder, and like so many sockpuppets, I think we've seen the last of her.

Despite the fact that she's always been a fabricated character, I'm sure some people will still really miss her.

But THAT is a subject for Trey.

blake said...

Hmmmm, Theo.

This sounds like more than one octave to me.

Actually, I'm pretty sure you're wrong about this whole theory. Linda Ronstadt died on the set of Pirates of Penzance.

Your confusion stems from the fact that she was replaced by an android from the same company that replaced Hillary around the time ol' Slick Willie raped Juanita Broaddrick.

I mean, seriously, you think a feminist worth her salt would put up with that? (Actually a number of former firebrand feminists have been similarly tamed, which is why Camille Paglia is so confused.)

Historical side-note, the company that made these androids, Yoyodyne Industries, launched its first successful model with Paul McCartney.

Since they had only one aging algorithm, you might notice that Clinton, Ronstadt and McCartney are all starting to "merge" looks-wise, as the years pass.

blake said...

That's kind of freaky, CL. You're using Peter Tork (?) as an avatar, and I just tweeted a Mike Nesmith song.

Michael Haz said...

Theo and Blake, you are on the right track but may have reached an inaccurate conclusion regarding Linda Ronstadt's true identity.

Speculation about Ronstadt has been a recurring theme in pop music culture since the early 1980s when her public performances were severely curtailed, and when, despite her public engagement to Jerry Brown, she became all but invisible.

It was widely believed that Ronstadt had secluded herself in preparation for a career in politics, influenced in no small measure by Brown. That was, however, a sleight-of-hand (more accurately a sleight-of-body)designed to conceal the reality of Ronstadt's being.

In Oliver Stone's brilliant rockumentary movie These Guys In Music Also Hate America Just Like Me, Stone and his researchers uncovered the truth that Linda Rondstadt was actually Jim Morrison.

Morrison, according to Stone, was a transexual who faked his own death in order to leave the stage and live openly as a woman. He had had a measure of success as the Rondstadt character he invented, and had even integrated the Rondstadt personae into the Doors albums, including several stints as a "guest vocalist" in the recording studio.

In time, however, Morrison became conflicted and fatigued with the effort required to maintained two identities and in 1971 faked his own drug-related death in order to live as Linda Ronstadt.

The Ronstadt character never married, and had several very public "relationships" that were arranged by her publicist, but never married, adopted two children, and retired to seclusion in Tucson, Arizona.

And no one, except Oliver Stone, has ever fully answered the questions that to this day swirl around Jim Morrison's "death".

chickelit said...

That's kind of freaky, CL. You're using Peter Tork (?) as an avatar, and I just tweeted a Mike Nesmith song.

Pretty soon all our cycles will be in synch.

blake said...

lol, CL

Nice work, Michael! This whole riff is very Trooper Yorkian, I must say.

Penny said...

"She had a range of about an octave, the technical ability of a chipmunk"

YES! Which is precisely why I always selected her songs for karaoke..."Desperado" for early evening, and "When Will I Be Loved" for late night.

I don't suppose you've ever been to karaoke night, Theo?

Anonymous said...

I recall once in Santa Monica, Miss Moneypenny.

You must remember.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Penny said...

Well. There was this one time at band camp... in Santa Monica Lewinsky.

Was that you, Theo?

You were so dear back then. Perhaps if I had not taken your microphone? Would things be different today?

We can only guess.

In any case, enough reminiscing.

All in all, I feel certain the world is a better place for having more flutes than more singers.