When Uncle Herman and Aunt Lily first started having problems they tried everything. They went out for date night. They went on romantic vacations together. They even went back to the old country to breath the stale air of the coffins where they first met.
They even went to counselling and saw a therapist but it just didn't work. Uncle Herman would get mad and stamp his feet and the bolts would get all tight in his neck and he would scare the shit out of the doctor. So Aunt Lily would have to suck all of the blood out of him. They were a good team that way. It always worked out great with bill collectors and the Utility guys. We never had to pay for anything.
Aunt Lily was very genteel for a member of the Undead. Not like these Twilight hipsters we have now. Aunt Lily was an old school vampire. She didn't make a big deal out of it. When she sucked it she did it right.
In retrospect you have to wonder why she and Uncle Herman didn't stay together since she was so talented.
I guess that Carol Herman must really suck. She must totally suck.
That is the only explanation.
7 comments:
The post lacks titular reference.
I just saw your post "evolve" in real time.
The computer is funky tonight.
Sometimes when it rains my internet is for shit.
I will be having a "ginger" colonic after my fasting.
This is such an exciting time.
I was debating between the peppermint and ginger colonic. I hope I made the right decision.
Cross you fingys girls.
I am trying to recover from her insanity. Distance works.
All I can tell you Titus if I were having a drink I would choose a ginger with bourbon over peppermint schnaps. Then again, I do not take either by supository. I hear you get buzzed more drinking booze through your ass...but being buzzed is over rated.
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