I was watching "Storage Wars" last night and I was very encouraged. If a fat ugly douche like Darrell Sheets can be a star....then it will be a piece of cake.
You see I never wear tank tops or wife beaters on TV. So I am already ahead of the game.
"Storage Wars" is a very successful reality show but it points to a real problem with the genre. It is very repetitive as they do the same things over and over. They bid each other up....somebody wins....they find a strange artifact or doodad that they need appraised....and they add up the money they can get when they sell the contents of the storage and see if they made a profit or not. But it is not really "reality." You see they "salt" the units to recreate stuff that had already happened or try to make it more interesting. And the prices they quote for selling the stuff is all bullshit.
We are going to try to keep the reality in reality shows if we can.
I just won't wear a wife beater on the air. That would be way too real.
You see I never wear tank tops or wife beaters on TV. So I am already ahead of the game.
"Storage Wars" is a very successful reality show but it points to a real problem with the genre. It is very repetitive as they do the same things over and over. They bid each other up....somebody wins....they find a strange artifact or doodad that they need appraised....and they add up the money they can get when they sell the contents of the storage and see if they made a profit or not. But it is not really "reality." You see they "salt" the units to recreate stuff that had already happened or try to make it more interesting. And the prices they quote for selling the stuff is all bullshit.
We are going to try to keep the reality in reality shows if we can.
I just won't wear a wife beater on the air. That would be way too real.
47 comments:
Another phony thing about that particular show is Darrell going through his heap of garbage saying "This is a thirty dollar bill" and then the dollar odometer on screen adds thirty dollars to whatever amount was showing. Let's see you sell that garbage, then we will believe your appraisal. Until then, it's all "reality" tv bullshit.
On a side note, the other day, in a unit not won by any tv "star", a guy found a storage bin full of gold and silver coins worth a half million. That's almost enough to make me cut the sleeves off my shirt and go stand around a storage unit. Almost...
You are so a cut above Darrell Shits.
I love that show, I'm sure that a lot of the treasures they find are planted, but love seeing the antiques and collectibles . Antiques Roadshow is one of my favorites. Pawn Stars was OK.
Let me ask you guys something.
Brandi was a stripper and Jarrod worked in the club right?
She just totally gives off the stripper vibe.
The disdain they have for each other is palpable. They are both so unpleasant that in the end, one is thankful they have each other. They deserve no other.
And someone should tell her that her implants are disproportionally large for her frame. Even a stripper should know about such things.
Please don't forget the little people Troop.
tits.
They had this episode where they were interviewing them and they asked how they met. Jarrod said that when Brandi walked into his job that he told his boss "I am going to date her." And they are living together for over ten years.
It is just the perfect strip club/bouncer hook up. Then they stumbled into this TV show. So they are stuck with each other.
And we are stuck with them.
Titus I will never forget the little people. I need to stay humble. I am very grateful for everything I have and everything I will get from the show.
I need you to keep commenting to keep me honest.
Tits.
Stripper? Could be.
I kind of like Brandi, she has good instincts about some of the units and actually let's Jarrod run wild with the money at times. I like women who don't take their men too seriously;)
Kind of like Michelle Obama ragging on her husband.
That's true.
Except Michelle could never be a stripper.
Wait I take that back.
If Nene Leakes could be a stripper than anyone could.
Don't let Darrell be your template; he acts like an asshole and an idiot. Barry is cool. Everybody loves Barry.
Wow, you guys really know these characters.
I have no idea who any of these peeps are.
Maybe I should watch this show.
And it sounds like there are some tits in it which I like.
tits.
There are tits in it that you would like - totally fake ones.
Wait, will I be admonished for thinking you aren't totally fake, too?
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPP!
Regarding reality shows....please try to keep the hokey contrived drama to a minimum and the dumb mugging for the camera.
We watch a lot of those shows and especially the home remodeling, American Pickers and that renovation show in Las Vegas where they fix up old coke machines and stuff.
At some point we (hubby and I) are "just shut up and do the damned thing already....it was cute funny the first time....now that it is the ten hundredth time....enough!!"
Storage wars, it does make us nuts when they say X item is worth X dollars. Nope....not until you sell it, it isn't worth jack.
Brandi was a stripper and Jarrod worked in the club right?
That's my husband's take on it. And that she is a bitch and he isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer either and they deserve each other. Not that the Dumbplumber has opinions or anything.
So if I get it right this is a show about dumpster diving? Except that the dumpsters have locks and owners?
please try to keep the hokey contrived drama to a minimum and the dumb mugging for the camera.
to a minimum also.
:-)
You know what your new Reality Show could use?
A gay best friend who is really fab and has a rare clumber.
Any time they come into the store hilarity and chaos ensues.
Rare clumber running around with women's underwear in mouth, Titus feeling up bras, etc.
Tits.
Gay Best Friend becomes big fag friend to gals in the store and starts undermining Owner Best Friend while dining out at dog friendly restaurants
Couldn't you just audition in drag, Titus?
I don't do drag chick.
I am very butch and have a muscular body and would not look good in drag.
I have never dressed up as a woman.
I don't care for drags.
Titus said...
I don't do drag chick.
Stop defyling stereotypes, Titus. You're making yourself too hard to pidgeonhole.
He claims he doesn't like that, either!
Oh darn Titus, I bet you would be cute in a bra.
Perhaps there could be a reality show called "Forage Wars" about the urban poor finding food in restaurant dumpsters. This might actually raise awareness and reward the participants.
Then they could "salt" the dumpster of the week for the forage-warriers.
No, that would'nt be healthy.
No, that would'nt be healthy.
Not in NYC. And no spiking with high calorie trans fats either.
Don't you hate when reality intrudes?
Actually Titus the entire production team seems to be gay. It would be like a Smörgåsbord for you.
Don't worry DBQ it is going to be really real. The main focus of the show is the woman buying clothes. And trust me I won't inflate the price. I want everyone at home watching on TV to go to the website and buy it online.
That's the goal.
You are already a star to us. You can do it.
I am a dichotomy wrapped up in an enigma with some smegma spread on top Chick.
Barry is way cool on Storage Wars. I love the shirts he wears. Much cooler than the ones Charlie Sheen used to wear.
See the thing is I have selfawareness. I would like to come off as the cool Barry but it is much more likely I would end up looking like the douchey Darrell. A loudmouthed opinionated jerk. That would not be a untrue characterization.
But I have a few redeeming qualities. As long as they are not cut out I should be ok.
When we sat at a meeting they said they loved the banter. So I said you like the "Archie and Edith" stuff. The wife goes "Hey I am no Edith." So I go "Ok imagine Lucille Ball married to Fred Mertz and I think you got it."
Get some head tats and give Ton Jones a run for his money. Keep it real.
It is pretty funny when I told the gay California production guys that they should buy their Chai tea at the cafe where the mafia guys hang out. I mean they don't care. It's all money to them. But the culture clash is fun. Just sayn'
Hey Sixty I just had acupuncture and had about fifty needles in my noggin. That is as close to a tattoo is I am ever gonna get.
Did you have to pay them extra to remove the needles?
Titus said...
I am a dichotomy wrapped up in an enigma with some smegma spread on top Chick.
Just don't get sloppy with the bread crumbs.
"Smegma Chi" sounds like a fraternity.
I should go over the 10,000 mark on hits today. I have to thank my blog father, Trooper.
Some of my friends are "townies" from Revere, Mass. All big Italians. Father lives on first floor, sister and her family live on second floor, fag son and his partner live on third floor of triple decker.
Friends with the mayor, the high school football coach and the funeral director etc.
We go to Italian mom and pop restaurants where it is mafia haven. I fucking love those restaurants. The restaurants are Demainos, Maggios, Floramos on Park Avenue-where the meat falls off the bone. The food is amazing.
Mafia guys tend to like the fags.
They all know my friends are fags and don't give a shit.
Good deal EBL.
It is all about your talent. That is why you are getting those hits.
You start off one place and you end up at another place.
Congratulations.
The hostesses at those restaurants wear fabulous sequin tops with butterflies and birds on them and are always outside smoking.
I love it so much.
tits.
I always fantasized about being the fag downlow boyfriend of some tough mafia guy.
He would come back to my place after murdering someone or something and then we would do it.
It would be so hot.
Titus recounts a classic Boston living arrangement.
For those of you in Rio Linda, triple deckers (aka "triple deckas") are three-floor apartment buildings, usually built of wood with clapboard or shingle siding (replaced long since with aluminum). They are the echt low-rent Boston housing unit. Growing up in a triple-decka in Hyde Paak, Roslindale, and, yes, Reveeah has been a rite of passage for generations of Boston kids of the various non-Yankee ethnicities that have made up and continue to make up the base working-class population of the place.
BTW, "Yankee" in Boston doesn't refer to the baseball team. It means the descendants of the original English settlers of New England. In practically every suburban or rural town, for example, there are families who have been here since who laid the chunk, or about 300 years, whichever is longer.
Yankees, in this sense, have long been driven out of Boston itself. People like the Kennedys did the job long ago. But Yankees persist, often rubbing elbows with Titus's Mafiosi in places like the North Shore ("Naath Shoah") Titus often mentions. Towns like Beverly, for example, are classic meeting places of Cotton Mather with the cast of Jersey Shore.
And I absolutely refuse to spell it "Joisey Shore," as I only do Boston dialect jokes.
One more thing for those of you in flyover country, the former CSA, or maybe Atzlán:
Triple deckers (with or without the "r") are not just 3-storey buildings with several apartments on each floor. They are like vertically-stacked triplexes. Each floor is a separate unit. They're mostly shoddy 100-year-old wooden construction and very fire-prone.
In fact, I've always expected some slow news night at 11;00, a local station would have, "And in other news locally, not one triple decker fire has been reported in the entire Metro Boston area this evening. A Boston fire official who declined to be identified on air explained the situation this way: "The old-timers who used to live in those death traps are mostly gone, and the new folks are, frankly, a lot smarter."
Post a Comment