Sarah Jessica Horseface has been pegged to play Gloria Steinem in the Linda Lovelace biopic starring the girl from the Abba movie and the Mormon TV series. She picked the little filly when Demi Moore dropped out because she got sick after smoking horse tranquilizers.
Wait a minute! Maybe Sarah Jessica Horseface gave he the stuff. Yeah that explains. I don't see how else she could get a job.
Until they make the Secretariat Movie.
9 comments:
I could easily see SJP play lead in a Marge Hamilton biopic.
Especially if she gets to ride a broomstick.
Wait, did I just insult her husband too?
I think her husband is happy when she rides a broomstick so she will leave him alone.
It'll be the second movie to feature an actress who's less attractive than the woman she's playing.
The fact that Julianne Moore didn't look as good as Sarah Palin said a lot about how hot SP is.
The fact that Gloria Steinem looks better than this mare says a lot about how un-hot SJP is--especially since Gloria Steinem is, like, 80 years old or something.
Titus bait.
Son of a bitch. The new comment style means clicking back after "conflicting" edits doesn't work. Dammit. Back to Ctrl+A, Ctrl+C before every post.
But what I originally wrote was something like:
Speaking of which, is there any chance they'll play this "straight", as it were? I was sympathetic to Lovelace but her claims lacked credibility.
So, on the one hand you have an "empowering" anti-porn tale but on the heavily-lotioned other hand, Hollywood loves them some porn.
I think we can guarantee they'll get it wrong, whatever they do.
Hey, give some credit where credit is due, Troop.
Sure, Secretariat ran faster, but SJP was able to win without messing up her impeccably coiffed mane.
"Is it true I have a horseface?"
--Sarah Jessica Parker as Dolores Fuller in Ed Wood
Secretariat was a stallion...and they already made the movie.
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