The Munger

Sarah Roberts: I don’t think I believe in what you are saying. That you are the undead. Who feasts on the blood of the innocent. I thought that meant you are a Republican.
Miriam Blaylock: No simply that you are one of the chosen. To be one of the beloved of the Nostarfu is to live forever.
Sarah Roberts: But I want to live a normal life. Have a husband and a family. To have five children.
Miriam Blaylock: What a foolish wish. They will probably be retarded.
Sarah Roberts: Not all of them surely.
Miriam Blaylock: I can not countenance that you have such petty dreams. You can be a creature of the night. A dezian of the hippest nightclubs and bistros of this great metropolis. A vampire. What do you really believe Sarah?
Sarah Roberts: I believe in dinosaurs.
Miriam Blaylock: I want to bite you right now.
Sarah Roberts: Are you making a pass at me, Mrs. Blaylock? Miriam Blaylock: Miriam. Sarah Roberts: Miriam. Miriam Blaylock: Not that I'm aware of, Sarah. [Sarah smiles, shakes her head, and then spills wine on her top] Miriam Blaylock: I think I know what you have my dear Sarah. You have the Munger.(The Munger, 1983)

Astro trolls are the worst.2

The atmosphere of sexual depravity that was the Jetsons set eventually affected everyone on the show. George had his disgusting relationship with Judy the girl that played his daughter on the show. Jane enjoyed having the grips and best boy pee on her in her trailer during coffee breaks. Young Elroy turned Rosie the Robot into an anatomically correct sex robot. But as usual the worst was Astro. We shared a lot with the Flintstones who had similar problems with sex, drugs and drinking. Producing cartoon shows on such a schedule led to blowing off a lot of steam. Astro just couldn’t handle the pressure. Even his constant obscene phone calls and filthy letters to the editor were not enough. So he started a homosexual relationship with Dino from the Flintstones. We were forced to endure the sight of his trailer rocking wildly while Astro was being anally penetrated by Dino and screaming “The Dinosaurs, the Dinosaurs are screwing me.”
(Joseph Barbera and William Hanna, The E True Hollywood Story of the Jetsons)

Astro trolls are the worst.

The toughest person to deal with on the Jetson’s was actually Astro. I mean the fact that George was a sex addict was disturbing enough. We had to hush up a lot things he used to do. He used his celebrity to bang his way through cartoon Hollywood. I mean George did Wilma and Betty in a three way, Betty Boop and Penelope Pittstop. He knocked up Velma and had to pay for her abortion. But Astro was even more of a problem. He loved to make obscene phone calls and wrote terrible nasty letters to various political leaders. He was lucky to avoid getting arrested for all the shit he pulled. Of course now he spends all of his time posting on the internet as a troll. In fact they named a type of troll after him. It’s the only thing that keeps him busy other than the job Karl Rove hired him to do for President Bush. He sits just out of the camera’s range and whenever Bush says something stupid he says “Ruh-roh, Reorge.”
(Joseph Barbera and William Hanna, The E True Hollywood Story of the Jetsons)

The Met's blow it. Again.

Watching the Met’s play is like watching a fat man chase his hat on a windy day.

How the hell can it be the Norwegian Cruise Line when there aren't any dirty Scandi's on the ship 5.

After the casino we go and freshen up and get ready for our reservation for dinner. Now we were on a “Free Style cruise” which means there was no set time for you to eat. You could just go anytime and eat in the main dining room or you could reserve a spot in one of the specialty restaurants. We decided on the French Bistro because we always eat Italian and the steak house was all booked up. So we walk in and the wife decides to pull a fast one. She tells the matrie di that it is my birthday. We get a nice dinner. I mean the steak au poive was ok but I have had a lot better. They didn’t even have any fucking peppercorns. And I doubt that they used a veal stock to brew the sauce. But it was ok as was the creamy mushroom soup in the sourdough bread and the asparagus side dishes. The potato’s kind of sucked though. But the vanilla bean cream brule was decent. And we had a great Super Tuscan wine that they actually decanted for us. So that was great.


But here is the funny part. After we had our desert the waiter’s come over with a little cake and sing Happy Birthday. I guess my wife thought I would get all embarrassed. Hah. I told her later that I am the embarrassor not the embarrassee. As they were singing all stood up and encouraged every to join in. Then I tried to get them to all sing Take Me out to the Ball Game. Then Baby Come Back. Finally they told me to sit down and shut up and eat my cake.

Just goes to show you can’t bust the balls of a ball buster.

Especially after two bottles of a Super Tuscan wine.

How the hell can it be the Norwegian Cruise Line when there aren't any dirty Scandi's on the ship 4

So we leave the duty free area and walk out on the deck. Now what was weird was that they didn’t have any benches or chairs to sit on. The Princess line always had a wooden bench every couple of yards for you to take a load off. The Princess line is far superior by the way and I highly recommend it if you are going on a cruise. So as we are walking we come to this area that had a few iron tables and chairs set up on the deck. Not many people are out because it is rainy but a few are sitting and drinking some beers and smoking. I look and see that we are in front of the little pub they have on board and they have fifty kinds of beer. Score. I go in and snag a pint and a vodka and cranberry for the wife and we sit outside and I light up a stogie. There was a great breeze and it was very relaxing. I could get used to this.

Five minutes later this guy comes up and says that everyone has to move because they are going to wash down the deck. Dude it’s fucking raining. It is supposed to rain all night. I just lit up my cigar. Man this cruise line sucks. I carefully put out my cigar so I can relight it and put in a plastic bag in my pocket. Grumbling all the way. We go inside and decide to check out the casino. We go in.

I won $500.

You just never know.

How the hell can it be the Norwegian Cruise Line when there aren't any dirty Scandi's on the ship 3

Well after the floating wedding party breaks up, we start to wander around the ship. We hit the duty free shop where you can get booze and cigarettes and stuff pretty cheap. A carton of cigarettes was $29 where you get 30 packs. A regular pack in Brooklyn costs $9 per pack. The wife smokes so we got a couple of cartons. Just goes to show you what the cost of taxes is in New York City.

Right in front of the liquor store is a little lounge. Now I call it a little lounge because they a band of midgets playing. They might not of been certified midgets because they were Filipino but none of the three guys were bigger than five feet tall if that. They were rocking out but they just couldn't get it quite right. They were playing Santana's Black Magic Woman while the four foot six inch lead singer was making the googly eyes at this Aretha Franklin type lady. He sounded good but I don't think he quite got it. He was singing "You're a Black Pretty Woman, Ohh Baby you're a Black Pretty Woman trying to get the devil out of me." The Aretha woman was telling her girlfriend how cute the little guy was and how she was going to put him her pocket book and take him home and ordering another Hennesy. It was pretty funny actually. But then he went into "Freebird" and I just had to split.

How the hell can it be the Norwegian Cruise Line when there aren't any dirty Scandi's on the ship.2

So we finish our snack and walk around the ship. It's a drizzly nasty day so we don't want to be outside in the rain as we sail out of the harbor past the statue of Liberty and the Verrazano Bridge. We go to the lounge which is in the very front (bow) of the ship and get a primo seat in front of the giant windows that face out. We start ordering drinks since they have a cocktail service. The wife orders some vodka as she doesn't want any cheap wine which is probably what they have going by the food (fucking turkey pastrami). So things are looking up for Trooper York. Then the lounge band starts to play.

First they start with the theme to the Loveboat. OK that was pretty cool. Ironic don't ya know. But then they segue into every cheesy wedding song you ever had to hear while you were sitting at your cousins wedding for what seems like twenty years. Funky town. Boogie Down. Play that funk music white boy. The Electric Slide. It was like being at giant floating wedding.

Of course the wife wouldn't let me dance. I am not allowed to dance in public. She says that when I get out there I turn into a cartoon character. Like the Mask.

I beg to differ. I always strive to act like a cartoon character.

How the hell can it be the Norwegian Cruise Line when there aren't any dirty Scandi's on the ship.

Well we just got back from our one day cruise and it was very interesting. I have gone on a couple of cruises and let me tell you something, stay away from the Norwegian Cruise Line. It was a big disappointment. Don't get me wrong, we had fun but we had to make our own fun.

Right after we checked in we went up to the buffet for a quick snack. The food they had was pretty horrific. I mean they had hot dogs and sausages which were barely edible but the rest of the hot food was really really weird. I mean they had macaroni and cheese with turkey pastrami.


THAT'S RIGHT! TURKEY PASTRAMI! WHO THE FUCK EVER HEARD OF TURKEY PASTRAMI AND WHY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THE SAINTS WOULD YOU PUT IT IN MACARONI AND CHEESE.

I immediately lodged a complaint with the World Court in the Hague for crimes against humanity.

Turkey pastrami. Jesus.

A 3 Hour cruise...a 3 hour cruise

Well it will be more than the famous three hour cruise tomorrow as the wife and I are going on a one day cruise to nowhere. It is my birthday and the wife got me the cruise as a present. So we are off to the piers in Manhattan tomorrow to go on the Norwegian cruise lines ocean liner which will sail out into the ocean and then back for Sunday. It should be fun with dining and dancing and a little relaxation. No blogging, just fun.

“Yep, I’m Gay” says Batman!

(People Magazine, September 25, 2008)
The Caped Crusader known as the Batman has announced that he is a “Gay American” in a starling news conference today in Gotham City. The announcement shocked many observers although there were several commenter’s who did not express any surprise at the news.

Wonder Woman was one of the people who shrugged off the announcement. “I know at the Justice League meetings he would never check out my tits. Not like Superman, that pervert stared at me all the time like he had x-ray vision or something. And the Flash another sicko. You know they don’t call him the Flash just because he is fast. He really is a wienie wagger.”

Commissioner Gordon was disappointed at the news. “I had some hopes that a romance could develop between my daughter and the Batman, but he always seemed to be off fighting crimes with his teen aged side kick Robin. Oh well there is always Bruce Wayne.”

The Joker had no comment as he could only laugh helplessly during a phone call from People. He is currently dating a skinny teen actress and abusing prescription drugs so he could not comment as he is always high and weeping into a tequila bottle.

Catwoman was scornful of the announcement. “I knew he hated the pussy ….meow… ever since he taught that muscular teenage sidekick to slide down the bat pole he just never was interested.”

Batman noted that Clay Aiken had given him the courage to finally admit that he was a Gay American and he would have a bat-float in the next Gay Pride parade.

When reached for comment, Superman said “So Batman is gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Maybe I better give the Batgirl a call.”

Why Presidents have always hated the press!

The practice of refusing to grant the media interviews dates back to the days of President George Washington who refused to be interviewed by the first of the partisan democratic hacks James Callender. Mr. Callender was a paid partisan of Thomas Jefferson who published a series of articles on a sex scandal involving Jefferson’s rival in the Cabinet Alexander Hamilton who had been banging Maria Reynolds and allegedly provided insider information on Treasury matters. President Washington refused to be interviewed by this hack who was later tried and imprisoned under the Sedition Act by President John Adams when he wasn't drinking Merlot and managing second rate prize fighters. There has been a long and illustrious history of ignoring the press by such luminaries as Abraham Lincoln telling Horace Greeley to piss up a rope to William McKinley sitting on his front porch and telling them to stuff it where the sun don't shine. So saying that a complete and utter contempt for the press something new and extraordinary is just completely wrong.

Democratic hero Franklin Delano Roosevelt was noted for his bullying of the press when he wasn’t going on television for one of his fireside chats to reassure the people after the stock market crash. He refused to allow them to take pictures of him in a wheelchair and heavily censored what was reported during the war for security reasons. President Harry Truman also hated the press and although he bantered with them he also often threatened them and in fact threatened to kick a music critic in the balls. One could only wonder what he would do to Frank Rich.

President John F. Kennedy did in fact in enjoy good relations with the press. Of course they were sexual relations as he enjoyed banging girl reporters or the wives or relatives of those reporters who angered him. He reputedly had a relationship with the sister in law of Ben Bradlee the editor of the Washington post as well as many of the beat reporters who where trilled by the attentions of the handsome Democratic president. Of course his most legendary feat was to be able to avoid vomiting while getting a rim job from a young Helen Thomas.

It was a great disappointment to the political classes and the press when the “Era of Good Feelings” ended with the election of John Quincy Adams. During the Presidency of John Monroe, there were in effect no real “political” parties as the entire political class was in basic agreement and tranquility reigned. Unfortunately this ended with the “Corrupt Bargain” in the election of 1824 between Henry Clay and John Quincy Adams where Andrew Jackson lost the election in the House of Representatives and somehow or other Henry Clay ended up as Secretary of State. The spirit of hatred and enmity reigned as charges and counter charges flew and calumny was king. General Jackson managed to wrest the Presidency away in 1829 and the acrimony continued in both the parties and the press. In fact in activies very similar to the personal attacks on Sarah Palin, the press savaged Andrew Jackson’s beloved wife Rachel claiming that their marriage was in fact bigamy since she had never divorced her first husband. The constant attacks on her reputation by the press were so severe that she in effect turned her face to the wall and died. This did not improve General Jackson’s temper and he took it out on the press for the rest of his life. Civility was not returned to politics until the ascension of the dapper Vice President Martin Van Buren to succeed Andrew Jackson. Know for his silky manners and debonair ways Van Buren was a cosmopolitan man of the world who favored internal improvements and massive immigration. It was in fact his support of Chinese immigration which led to the subsequent “Era of Happy Endings.”

William Howard Taft had a legendarily bad relationship with the press. But he had a simple solution. Whenever they published an article he didn't like, he would sit on them. That is in fact how the term"press" was coined.

I sat on my ass for nine hours today.

I feel left out with people posting about the amount of time they were on the thread mill desk or the route they took when running today. So I want to record how much time I spend each day sitting around on my fat ass all day. It started with the cab ride to the LIRR because I was too lazy to take the train. When I got out of the cab on Flatbush Avenue I got an apple donut and a large black coffee and the Post and the Daily News. Then I got on the railroad to go out to Long Island. That took about an hour of sitting around. Then I was at my desk for eight hours. I called out for lunch so I didn't even go outside. The only time I got off my ass was to take stuff out of the printer or to drain the lizard. Then back on the railroad home for another hour. I did fall asleep at some point and drooled a little on my shirt. Then I took the G train to the store where I will sit on my ass for another three hours paying bills until about nine o'clock.

Boy I'm bushed.

Titus where are you buddy?

Professor Althouse let the cat out of the bag as to why Titus is not on her blog anymore:

"Titus went off in a huff after I came to the conclusion that one of his pseudonyms was an impostor and deleted a bunch of posts that I genuinely believed to be fake. We had an email exchange, and he didn't appreciate that I was trying to protect a commenter I cared about. In the course of that exchange, he made it clear that he was actually pretty hostile to me, and that made me realize that the Titus I once loved never really existed. Currently, he believes I should apologize to him, but I think he should apologize to me. I cared about him and protected him, and he wrote to me in an ugly, hostile way. He never loved me, so I don't love him anymore."

So it appears that Titus will not be posting back at Althouse anymore unless he is using another identity.

But I just want to say that if you ever want to pinch off a loaf here, you are always welcome. I don't censor or delete anyone.

Not that I have that many commenters but I don't like that kind of stuff.

The history of the Hairless cootch

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The Fall stuff is in and it looks great

Well a lot of our fall stuff is on the floor now and it looks great. Some great stuff from Anna Scholz, Desantino, and other new designers that I won't list here because people from other stores come here to find new companies to put in their store. The balls on some people. I wanted to bounce them out on their ass but cooler heads prevailed.

Mudd's Women.

Harry Mudd: Men will always be men — no matter where they are.
Eve McHuron: Oh, that sound of male ego. You travel halfway across the galaxy and it's still the same song.
Kirk: There's only one kind of woman….the one I want to bang.
Harry Mudd: Or man, for that matter.
Kirk: Not that there is anything wrong with that. Right Boner?.
Dr. McCoy: That’s Bones, not boner. How many times do I have to tell you. At least I don’t have sex with myself because I have male and female organs like that filthy Vulcan is solace enough for this country doctor.
Spock: The fact that my internal arrangement differs from yours, Doctor, pleases me to no end.
Harry Mudd: So could I interest one of you gentlemen in some companionship or would you rather go back to your cabin to beam off. Or perhaps I could interest you in this nubile young Gorn. You could boldly go where no man has gone before….
Kirk: Enough Mudd. I am transporting you and your fembots back to your ship.I prefer the excitement of the hunt. The thrill of the chase. Send that intern Yeoman Rand back to my cabin. I think she needs to take some dictation.
(Mudds Women, Star Trek Season One)

Joe Biden is the new Chuck Norris

Joe Biden eats meat on Fridays.

Joe Biden roots for six different football teams. Not one of them is Notre Dame.

Joe Biden thinks the Holy Ghost rides a motorcycle and wears a leather jacket.

Joe Biden thinks a venial sin is when you have a varicose vein.

Joe Biden thinks Limbo is the dance he does under a pole on vacation in St. Barts.

Joe Biden thinks Jesus was just Felipe and Matty’s younger brother.

Joe Biden thinks the Stations of the Cross are on the subway map between West 4th Street and East Broadway.

Joe Biden thinks the miraculous medal is what they give you when you win the Nobel Peace prize.

Joe Biden thinks Padre Pio is when Tony Gwynn takes a leak.

Joe Biden thinks Purgatory is a stool softener.

Joe Biden thinks transubstination is what you call the character that Felicity Huffman played in that crappy movie. He really dug her though.

Joe Biden thinks that Immaculate Conception played shortstop for the big Red Machine.

Joe Biden thinks the lives of the Saints is the autobiography of Tom Fears and Danny Abramowitz.

Joe Biden thinks Palm Sunday is when a lobbyist takes him out for steaks.

Joe Biden thinks apostasy is one of those little yellow papers you write notes on when you plagiarize something for one of your speeches.

Joe Biden thinks Beatitude is when you wear a beret and go on the road to spout gay poetry. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Joe Biden thinks a canticle is what you call Hillary’s ankle.

Joe Biden thinks a catechism is what you get when you give your tabby a happy ending.

Joe Biden thinks a Doxology is Sir Archie’s little black book of his favorite tavern wenches.

Joe Biden thinks Extreme Unction is a Mohegan who really likes to snow board off dangerous mountains.

Joe Biden thinks that the “Holy See” is what Robin yells out every time Batman shows him the bat pole.

Joe Biden thinks that Homily is a really homely eighteen century New England poet.

Joe Biden thinks that the Latin Rite is the drugstore in Washington Heights.

Joe Biden thinks that the Monstrance is the cellar door they opened in the Adams Family.

Joe Biden thinks a Theophany is the band the Huxtable kids started when they were in high school.

Joe Biden thinks Simony is the excessive worship of law professors who sometimes write about the law. Ok, every once in a while he is right.

Joe Biden thinks the Paschal Mystery is a detective novel from France.

Joe Biden thinks the font is what his dad used to do after he had beans.

Joe Biden heard that a fish was a symbol of being a real Catholic so he put a picture of Abe Vigoda on his car bumper.

The Tears of a Moose 6

The breakup of the show was particularly rough on Rocky. I mean Bullwinkle has his work with the Log Cabin Republican Cartoon division and his gay activism. Rocky was at his wits end. He drifted from one meaningless affair to another with different Hollywood starlets. He would often frequent prostitutes with Charley Sheen and smoke pot with Woody Harrelson. But then there was the day hit rock bottom. He was hanging out at a Taco stand in LA when he met this blonde cougar who claimed she was a law professor. His life was about to begin a horrible downward spiral.
(Jay Ward and Alex Anderson, Rocky and Bullwinkle, E True Hollywood Story)

McCain forgets the name of the Spanish president.

No one expects an inquistion on the Spanish.

The show is over

Well the fall trunk show is over and it went pretty well. The best part is the video we shot with the crew that makes the little podcasts that are on our website. We should have a four minute
webcast that will show the best parts of the trunk show so it will almost be like you were there.

F Troop Reporting for Duty 7

I always felt bad about Corporal Agarn. He tried so hard. He would scream and yell and get his spittle over everyone. He wanted everyone to do things his way. To believe what he believed. He couldn’t stand to see anyone else have a different opinion. He would hit them over the head with his opinion like he used to do with his hat. He just couldn’t understand why no one cared what he thought. It was just everyone agreed after meeting him for five minutes. He was just a moron. I hear he is holed up in San Diego in his 92 year old mother’s basement posting comments on the internet while eating Cheeto’s and peeing in his Depends.
(Seaman Jacobs, Ed James, and Jim Barnett, The E True Hollywood Story of F Troop)

F Troop Reporting for Duty 6

All of our fans loved Wrangler Jane. You know the regular people in flyover country. They liked how she was a straight talker and they loved the fact that she was a great shot. I saw her shoot a buffalo once from 300 yards away and she even got a rabbit on the run. Of course there was the scandal about the time she shot Bullwinkle while he was walking past the set one day but she had a good excuse. She had been drinking all night and had been really reamed out by Sgt O’Rourke when he woke up next to her that morning. So she wasn’t too steady on her pins. That was why she missed the shot. I mean she took out a piece of his left antler but at least she didn’t kill him. Anyway it all turned out ok. It became a symbol that if you wanted everyone to know you were gay, you would chip off a piece of your left antler.
(Seaman Jacobs, Ed James, and Jim Barnett, The E True Hollywood Story of F Troop)

F Troop Reporting for Duty 5

Now the Indians on the show were real pot heads. They just sat around and smoked the peace pipe and got the munchies. They were the laziest bunch of complaining bastards I ever ran across. Most of them later went on to become community organizers. Now Bald Eagle wasn’t so bad. He just liked to talk and talk and talk. Of course he could never come up with anything original. He would always try to rip off other people but he could never get it quite right. “I will fight no more, whatever.” I heard he later ran for Senator from Delaware.
(Seaman Jacobs, Ed James, and Jim Barnett, The E True Hollywood Story of F Troop)

F Troop reporting for Duty 4

Sergeant O’Rourke was famous for having the second biggest cock in Hollywood. After the legendary Milton Berle. He was banging everything that moved. Marilyn from the Munsters, man he did her and her Aunt Lily too. Wilbur’s hot wife from Mr. Ed, the guy nailed her while Wilbur was currying the horse of course. The chick from Hawaiian Eye, man he butt fucked her so hard she had to wear capri’s for the next three years.
(Seaman Jacobs, Ed James, and Jim Barnett, The E True Hollywood Story of F Troop)

F Troop Reporting for Duty 3

The feminists really hated Wrangler Jane. Betty Freidan once threw a drink at her. They didn’t want to see a strong independent woman who liked men. They felt she should be a symbol for women who needed a man like a fish needed a bicycle. So they attacked her in the press. Said she wasn’t a “real Woman.” Made fun of her accent and her hair. I think they secretly wanted to be her. Jealousy you know. Envy. She was everything they were not. But Wrangler Jane didn’t really care about that. She was really only interested in Sergeant O’Rourke’s cock.
(Seaman Jacobs, Ed James, and Jim Barnett, The E True Hollywood Story of F Troop)

F Troop Reporting for Duty 2

There was a lot of politics revolving around the show. It was the sixties and Vietnam was in full swing. Any show that portrayed the army in a positive light was hated by the radicals and the professors and the critics. They wanted us to show the genocide of the American Indian and the cruelty of the white man. We just wanted to get Wrangler Jane’s tits in as many shots a possible.
(Seaman Jacobs, Ed James, and Jim Barnett, The E True Hollywood Story of F Troop)

F-Troop Reporting for Duty!

All the intellectual critics hated F-Troop. The New York Times panned us and said we one of the worst shows ever to be put on TV. They decried the simple pleasures Americans felt sitting in front of their TV’s and watching lovable cavalry troopers and Indians swindle each other in a big scam. You know so they get lot’s of money from Washington without actually doing anything. They wanted us to talk about politics. We thought we were.
(Seaman Jacobs, Ed James, and Jim Barnett, The E True Hollywood Story of F Troop)

Tales from Amy's Garden

Fiver: There's something very queer about the warren this evening...
Hazel: Is it dangerous?
Fiver: It's not exactly danger, it's... oh, I don't know. Something oppressive... like thunder.
Fiver: I feel it too. It seems like everyone who was nice has left the garden. All the brightly colored birds. The badger. That happy frisky gay otter. Even the blogging cockroach.
Hazel: Well I think the lady is getting strange. She is muttering to herself and playing her old records. She even took a picture of her foot in a bucket of water. The only ones left seem to be the slugs and the vermin. They just keep talking their disgusting talk. That only leaves a few of us, the rabbits.
Fiver: Yes. But the garden is comfortable. I don't know if we can move the warren. That would be very dangerous.
Hazel: I know. But sometimes you have to move on and get to a new place. Maybe it can be a better place.
Fiver: I saw the lady laying the hammock yesterday. She was swing back and forth and rubbing
herself. Do you think that is what is attracting these strange creatures.
Hazel: I don't know. Something keeps bringing them around.
Fiver: Bigwig heard her talking. Good riddance she said as she threw all that garbage out on her front step. I think that is what is attracting all this vermin.
Hazel: Some people call us vermin.
Fiver: Some people are stupid.
(Watership Down, 1972)

Derek approaches the Iron Horse.

Derek Jeter will pass Lou Gerhig on the all time Yankee list for hits tonight. Jeter is well on his way to 3000 and has an outside shot at 4000. No Yankee ever had 3000 hits as a Yankee. So this will be a first and it is fitting that the captain will do it.

Most people really don't appreciate Jeter, and the Met and Red Sox fans love to run him down and say he is overrated. But real Yankee fans know that he is part of the heart and soul of the Yankees and is without doubt the most important player on the team. He sets the tone.

He is a true Yankee.

There's something about Sarah.

There is something about Sarah Palin that drives the Democrats and the left wing bloggers nuts. Now Beagle Boy is pontificating about her amniocentesis. Can't they just leave it alone? Why would you go there? I guess you can make an issue about an existing medical condition but to have all this palaver over this? It is just astounding.

Shopping the spring line

Well we just spent last night seeing the new spring line for Anna Scholz and Jessica Svoboda jeans. Lot's of great stuff for spring. They will be bringing it to the store to show it off and hopefully we can get some preorders.

We are also going to film some of it and put it on the website so it will almost be like you were at the party.

The photos have been published

Grusinskaya (bursts into their suite, with a vein pulsing in her neck): What have you done you pasty faced puta? You have published my secret photos for all the world to see. Now everyone is talking. How could you?

Miss Peggy Noonan (cowering on a settee, holding a whimpering dog, the marks and bruises of Grusinskaya attempted strangulation vivid on her alabaster skin).
But I thought you would be proud. Look at this languid pose in you black domatrix pajamas that I love so much. Your son young Werther did such a good job in the composition. He captured you sensuous nature without revealing too much of your cootch. Although the kneecaps are a little knobby. And your blouse looks like you stuffed a squirrel in there. But it is still most comely.

Grusinskaya: You fool! That was a private matter not to be bandied about in club house or tavern. Who knows what louts might pleasure themselves at the site of me in my dishabille.

Miss Peggy Noonan: Well what of this photo of your tender tootsies. Why did you take such a picture if not to taunt your many admirers? That young law student is always corresponding with you making his longing manifest like a starving man staring at an éclair. Or your other friend, the chicken fancier. Even he was moved to drop his squab and comment on your pulchritude.

Grusinskaya: My admirers are none of your nevermind. If you want to remain in my company you must shape up and bow down.

Miss Peggy Noonan: Well you did not say that last night when you were spanking me with your first edition of Blackstone and massaging my love button with you freakishly long toes.

Grusinskaya: You blowsy bitch, I told you that I control you. You must be punished! (She jumps across the table and begins to throttle the albino opinion maker)

Miss Peggy Noonan: Pllleeaasse sssttttoooopppp iiitttttt, IIIIIIIII wwwwwiiiiillll lllllleeeeeaaaaveeee hhhhhiissss ccccchhhhiiiiicccckkkkkeeennnn aaaaallllllooooonnnnneeeeeee!!!!!!

Grusinskaya: Shut up you pervert…you know you are enjoying this!

Miss Peggy Noonan: Yooouu onlllly hurtttt meeee cccaaauuuse yoooouuu loooovvve meeeeee (She falls unconscious as her nipples come fully erect and her shift becomes damp).

Baron Felix von Geigern's dog: Woof!

(Grand Hotel, 1932)

Tagged and ready.

Well we tagged and steamed and got all the clothes ready for the big trunk show. Well actually Nicole did that while I blogged all day and worked the cash register. As I have said before, when I have to work in the store, I stand behind the counter and type away furiously on my laptop as though I am working. I am actually making stupid comments all over the internets. Now sometimes a girl will want my opinion on a dress or need help with something. Then I jump out and help. But sometimes she just wants to get the girls opinions or whatever friend she brought along. So I have to hang back and look busy, like I am not paying too much attention so as not to make them be self-conscious. Playing it cool, for me, not so easy.

How the Yankee Season went so bad.

There is a column from Joel Sherman of the NY Post on the MSN front page titled "How the Yankee season went so bad." He lists the usual themes, you know the Yankees should have got Santana, trade all their prospects, spend more money, not put any more pressure on A-Rod. What he doesn't understand that this is a transitional year. The championship teams were long ago. They kept enough high priced talent to make the playoffs, but we didn't have enough gamers. Plus we had a lot of injuries. You have to give the young guys, especially the young pitchers a chance. It's funny how the sportswriters who blasted the Yankees for spending so much money and trying to have an All Star at every position now want them to do just that.
It is obvious that Hal Steinbrenner is holding the line on costs and is trying to establish some fiscal sanity. If Wong had not been lost for the season or Jorge Posada either, well things would have been different. Now is the time to start weeding out some of the older guys like Giambi and Matsui and Damon and bringing some young players in. And keep trying to use some of the younger pitchers. That's the way to build a dynasty. Not getting the next 32 year old big money mercenary that comes on the market.

The nature of a Troll

Alpha liberal posted on Althouse that a troll is not someone who disagrees with you. He would be surprised to know that I agree. That I actually agree with some of his posts. But what makes a troll is the humorless, repetitive posting of talking points as though that is supposed to show you "The light." But the nature of some of the people on Althouse is such that we can dispense with their opinions altogether. From both the left and the right. For example Cedarford on the right. I don't get into arguments with him about things he posts. Especially about things I might vehemently disagree with him about. He at least has a sense of humor and displays some humanity. He is of course entitled to his opinions. Some of the more liberal posters like Beth and Madison Man are fine people whose views are always welcome and who are treated with the respect that they have earned. They get it. We might not agree but I will always hear them out. Some of the liberal robots not so much. If you don't want to be considered a troll, show a little humor, a little humanity.

The Giants win once again.

The Giants won against the hapless Rams 41 to 13. A great game for us.

You it's funny how the rivalry's for teams change. I remember when I was a kid and the Los Angles Rams had a great team. A legendary team even. George Allen as the coach. Roman Gabriel, Merlin Olsen, Deacon Jones, man that was a team. Those fucking Rams were so cool that the Duke even had them act in one of his movies. Of course Rock Hudson was in the same movie so maybe the casting director was paying off some gambling debts or something.

Anyway, I remember a game where they bitch slapped us and knocked us out of the playoffs. Deacon Jones bitch slapped Fran Tarkenton like a red headed step child. You always looked forward to seeing the West Coast teams like the Rams and the Niners because you didn't get to see them on TV. So the Rams were a big rivalry.

But then the league expanded and we started playing the 49'ers in the playoffs all the time and they became our big West Coast rival.

Then they moved to St. Louis. What the hell was that all about? Now who cares. I mean St. Louis? Holy Ozzie Smith batman, that's a baseball town.

It's funny how a rivalry will change.

Hackneyed Hee Hee

Hey someone hacked into Althouse. When you try to get on the site it pushes you to google. Weird.

I knew she was suffering from a Troll infestation but I didn't know it was so bad that someone would hack into the site like that.

Sorry I was busy.

Sorry for the light posting today.

I went to the DMV and renewed my poetic license.

Unbearable threads.

The threads at Althouse were unbearable today so I only posted obscure Irish Poets.

Maybe some of those douches will learn someting

Seamus Heaney Poem

I was six when I first saw kittens drown.
Dan Taggart pitched them, 'the scraggy wee shits'
Into a bucket; a frail metal sound,

Soft paws scraping like mad.
But their tiny dinWas soon soused.
They were slung on the snout
Of the pump and the water pumped in.

'Sure, isn't it better for them now?'
Dan said.Like wet gloves they bobbed and shone till he sluiced
Them out on the dunghill, glossy and dead.

Suddenly frightened, for days I sadly hung
Round the yard, watching the three sogged remains
Turn mealy and crisp as old summer dung


Until I forgot them. But the fear came back
When Dan trapped big rats, snared rabbits, shot crows
Or, with a sickening tug, pulled old hens' necks

Still, living displaces false sentiments
And now, when shrill pups are prodded to drown
I just shrug, 'Bloody pups'. It makes sense:

'Prevention of cruelty' talk cuts ice in town
Where they consider death unnatural
But on well-run farms pests have to be kept down.

The Tears of a Moose 5

Bullwinkle was a broken moose. The fact that his party had abandoned him and left him to fend for himself was too much for him to handle. He couldn’t believe that this criminal, this murderer, this moose hunter was running for Vice President of the United States. He began to follow the campaign to protest. He built a shack outside of the Governors mansion to protest her murderous ways. He stacked hundreds of antlers in a field to symbolize all of his relatives that had been murdered by these filthy moose hunters. Eventually he was diagnosed with Doyle’s disease and declared criminally insane. He was institutionalized in a lunatic asylum outside Seattle where he was eventually smothered with a pillow by a catatonic Indian named Joe Charboneau.
(Jay Ward and Alex Anderson, Rocky and Bullwinkle, E True Hollywood Story)

The Tears of a Moose 4

Bullwinkle was there for Dick Cheney in the tough days after the Ford Administration. He raised money with his Hollywood buddies when Cheney ran for Congress and they kept in touch. It helped Cheney accept his daughter when she revealed that she was a lesbian. I mean when one of your closest friends is a gay moose, you get an insight into the fact that people don’t choose to be gay, they just are gay. And Cheney was always a stand up guy. Look how he took the rap for Elmer Fudd when Fudd accidentally shot that lawyer guy. They sure covered that shit up good didn’t they.
(Jay Ward and Alex Anderson, Rocky and Bullwinkle, E True Hollywood Story)

The Tears of a Moose 3

Rocky was always a big liberal but like a lot of liberals he wasn’t around when people really needed help. He was always conveniently “out of town” when he had to step up to help his friends. I remember when Wile E. Coyote got arrested for smuggling Speedy Gonzalez into the country in the back of his Acme moving van and the Border Patrol wanted to put him away. Bullwinkle pulled some strings with the Gerald Ford administration and got him off. He had a pipeline into Dick Cheney even then when he was chief of staff. Of course Rocky always claimed that he did it but he never did. He was always going off to protest with Caesar Chavez and the grape pickers but he didn’t do it for the poor people. He did it for the weed.
(Jay Ward and Alex Anderson, Rocky and Bullwinkle, E True Hollywood Story)

The Tears of a Moose 2

Now Rocky the flying squirrel was a dyed in the wool Democrats. Most squirrels are democrats. Or most democrats are squirrelly. I forget which is which. But the Moose and Squirrel had many spirited politic arguments over the course of the years. None worse than when Reagan was President. Now Bullwinkle loved Ronnie because he knew from the wild old days in Hollywood. They used to go out drinking with Errol Flynn on the set of They Died with their Boots On. But Ronnie dropped Bullwinkle like a hot potato after he came into the dressing room and saw him getting it on with Errol Flynn. He tried to explain that he couldn’t help himself. It was just the way he was. And Ronnie eventually accepted him. After he found out that his own son was a ballerina. That’s when Bullwinkle founded the Log Cabin Republicans Cartoon Division.
(Jay Ward and Alex Anderson, Rocky and Bullwinkle, E True Hollywood Story)

The tears of a Moose.

Bullwinkle has been at his wits end. He couldn't’t understand how the party that he had loved all of his life could betray him. He had his doubts about John McCain. He didn’t like how he would always seem to compromise with the Democrats. Bullwinkle was a moose not a RINO. But he never thought he would have to swallow such a terrible Vice Presidential nominee. He expected another old white guy like Cheney. You know maybe that Mormon guy or the fat hick with the funny name. But instead they picked this abomination. This moose hunter. And the pity of it is, McCain found her on the internet. This young supporter, a legal beagle named Simon found her on the internets. On this site. MILF hunter. A MILF hunter found a moose hunter. THE HORROR!
(Jay Ward and Alex Anderson, Rocky and Bullwinkle, E True Hollywood Story)

The bets are in

I have a couple of bets with a few of the commenters on Althouse on the Giants vs Steelers game. I think we have a good shot in the game as we are road warriors. My buddy Mario is going to the game in Pittsburgh because he is an insane Steeler fan. I would love to go but I am just way too busy.

You know I used to have season tickets to the Yankees, Knicks, Giants and boxing at the Felt Forum. That's when I was single.

Now I have a lot of plates, candles, knick nacks and pillows.

And my lovely wife that I love more than life itself and who I would never trade for anything in the world.

But I got a lot of pillows.

Knox can't believe that we didn't go to fashion week.

One of our favorite readers Knox couldn't believe that we had tickets to the tents at fashion week and didn't go. The fashion show isn't all that great. The designers put all the buyers in the last row which is kind of silly when you think about it. The publicists get the celebrities in the front row when they aren't gonna buy anything. Last year was a bust. We saw the lines but there wasn't anything for us to buy because we only buy sizes 10 to 28. Plus they were really showing the couture dresses which we do not carry. So it really isn't that big a deal.

All the business happens back at the showroom. The usually have a cocktail party where you can meet the designer. Now with Tadashi that's no big deal because he doesn't speak much English, so a couple of polite bows are as good as it gets. Everyone was making a big deal out of the only celebrity to show up who was Cheryl Lee Ralph of Dreamgirls fame. I mean she was famous about twenty years ago. In the mean time the actual buyers were sort of pushed aside. I said to the wife, later for this bullshit and we left.

That's why we stayed in the store and sold shmatta's instead of hobknobing with celebrities of yesteryear. I don't think we missed much.

Fashion week news.

When we got back from Vegas we were a little pissed that we didn't get any invitations to the tent shows at Bryant Park this week since it is fashion week. But when I finally finished going through the mail, three different designers sent us invites. Of course we are too busy to go but we will plan it out better next time.

We are having our big event next Wednesday September 17th, so all friends of Lee Lee's Valise are welcome for a champagne reception from 6pm to 9pm.

That means you have to wear shoes Meade.

And RH, no chickens.

The Blessed Sacrament.

I went to mass today to pray for the people we lost on 911 seven years ago. There weren’t a lot of people at the mass. Some fireman, two cops, several of the church ladies and a few of the merchants on the block. Just regular people offering up their prayers.

Althouse had a few 911 threads up but there were very few comments. And some of them were pretty vile. People don’t seem to realize how they sound when they spew such bile. It is more important to score points than to show some simple respect.

Last night I watched this new TV show about a motorcycle club on Spike. There is a scene where the bikers are cut off by a guy in a red sports car. Later they pull into a gas station and the notice the car. So they go into the convenience store part and see the guy buying some beer. One of the bikers goes over and starts to kick the shit out of the guy. He leaves him on the floor. The guy pulls out a gat and starts blasting. They grapple. All the while the Indian guy who runs the store is screaming “What are you doing to my store.” He takes his fire ax and chops it right into the head of the guy with the gun. He is standing there with a giant axe planted in his head, and falls over dead.

That’s what I wanted to do to some of the commenters on the thread today.

It doesn’t jive with going to church and praying, but it is how I feel.

Absent friends September 11, 2008

For the guys from the Happy Hookers who I busted chops on when they cut in front of the line at Mastellones, for the woman who had just left her restaurant to start at Windows, for the dude who used to sell me books at the Borders in the first tower, for the kid from Honduras who went from bussing tables in a midtown joint to working in the towers, for the guy from Cantor who used to come with us to the Yankee games…

I am thinking of you today and will remember you at mass.Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

Lipstick on a Pig !

Ferdinand the duck: Look, there's something you should know.
Babe the pig: Yes?
Ferdinand: Humans eat ducks!
Babe: [gasps] I beg your pardon?
Ferdinand: Ah, most ducks prefer to forget it, but the fact is that humans like to eat plump, attractive ducks.
Babe: Ohhh, I don't think so. Not the Boss, not the Boss's wife.
Ferdinand: Oh, come on. Humans don't eat cats - why?
Babe: Well, they're...
Ferdinand: They're indispensable: they catch mice. Humans don't eat roosters - why? They make eggs with the hens and wake everyone up in the morning.
Babe: Right.
Ferdinand: I tried it with the hens: it didn't work. So I didn’t know what to do. I was lucky though.
Babe: How is that?
Ferdinand: Well their uncle down the road is sort of different…. I started talking with him …and well we had a few drinks …and well…. the next thing you know we were fucking.
Babe: Oh my god. Is that the weird guy with the funny hat and the Dobermans. The math guy. What did he say afterwards?
Ferdinand: He was very happy. He said that he had ducked a lot of fucks but this was the first time that he ever fucked a duck.
(Babe, 1995)

Bedrock of Love 4

The Hanna Barbera lot in the early sixties was just a den of iniquity. I mean everyone was banging everyone. Men and women, men and men, women and women, moose and squirrel. It was a crazy time man, it was the sixties. Everyone was tuning in and turning on and dropping out. So the Flintstone set was par for the course. I mean it sure was a lot better than the Jetsons. Man that George Jetson was a pussy hound. He had a casting couch and he would screw anything that moved. But he particularly loved to screw the girl that played his daughter on the show. He was a freak. One time George and Judy had a three way with the girl who played Pebbles that was the talk of the set. They actually filmed it and showed it at the annual holiday party. George got into filming his sexcapades. It was only a matter of time until he came to a bad end. That’s why I wasn’t surprised when Magilla Gorilla beat him to death with a camera tripod.
(Joseph Barbera and Herbet Finn, The E True Hollywood Story of the Flintstones: Stoned in Bedrock)

Bedrock of Love 3

We didn’t know what to do about Betty. I mean she was freakin’ out and was obsessed with Rock Hudson. He really wasn’t into her if you know what I mean. He spent all his time talking to the young actors who played Bam Bam about gladiator movies. Betty was getting more and more fucked up. She tried self medicating and ended up with a smack problem. She had to go kick cold turkey because they didn’t have any fancy rehab places back then. I went to Rock to beg to just bang her once and maybe she would get over it. I even offered to pay him because the show was so profitable and we couldn’t screw it up. It was Barney Rubble who came up with the answer. And it was so simple really. Anal.
(Joseph Barbera and Herbet Finn, The E True Hollywood Story of the Flintstones: Stoned in Bedrock)

Bedrock of Love 2

Now the main source of tension was Betty who was just a dirty whore. She screwed everything from both Fred and Barney to the grips and the camera man. I ever let her give me a rim job. She was very persuasive. But the real problem was the episode when Rock Hudson guest starred. Betty freaked out. She wanted him bad. She basically just kept attacking him. I mean she was subtle at first. You know she would sit in his lap and twirl his hair and flirt. And Rock would flirt and all but he would never close the deal. One day Betty said enough of this shit and at a table read she climbed under the table and unzipped him and just started sucking. It was a big scandal. They had to pay off a lot of people to keep that quiet let me tell you.
(Joseph Barbera and Herbet Finn, The E True Hollywood Story of the Flintstones: Stoned in Bedrock)

Fred is dead, well at least his cock is anyway.

The set of the Flintstones was a troubled one from the very beginning. Fred was a terrible drunk who was always hanging out at Toot’s Shores saloon with Jackie Gleason and Mickey Mantle. They would drink and carouse until early in the morning. Then they would each grab a girl and go off to have some fun. But Fred could never get it up after drinking a fifth of whiskey. We would get to the set in the morning and go to his trailer to find him covered in vomit with his pants around his ankle and some bimbo crying. And they always said the same thing. “He promised me a Yabba-dabba-do good time.”
(Joseph Barbera and Herbet Finn, The E True Hollywood Story of the Flintstones: Stoned in Bedrock)

Trolls

The seem to be a high incidence of trolls on Althouse lately. These trolls are a little different. They seem to be reasonable and ask legitimate questions, but they are not interested in an answer or a dialogue. They just move the goal posts and change the argument. You can get sucked into their vortex by trying to debate them when they are not acting in good faith. To be sure there are some on both sides of the aisle. so just want to throw out insults and are easily ignored. But others are more insidious.

My new policy is to ignore them. Formerly I would mock them, but this encouragement is counter productive. They are to be scorned.

Mike wihout the Mad Dog.

Man I was listening to Mike Francesa today without the Mad Dog Chris Russo who went on to satilite radio. It was almost unlistenable. Unrelieved pomposity and hubris. It almost as though you were listening to Harry Reid talk to his mirror in the morning while he was shaving.

They better find Francesa a partner who is funny really fast or this show is going to go down the tubes really fast!

Billy Wagner goes down for the count.

The main closer for the Mets, Billy Wagner had a career ending injury his weekend. That's a shame because he was one of the few standup guys on that team. He was always ready to talk and explain himself unlike Delgado or Beltran or Reyes or any of the other Latins on the team who ran away from their responsibilities. Wagner was one of the few veteran leaders on the Mets and they are really gonna miss him.

Things don't look good for the Brady Bunch

Things haven't been this bad at the Brady House since Marcia and Jan had their periods at the same time. Tom Brady is out for the season and the Jet fans are coming in their pants. Relax, guys you will find some way to fuck it up. Even though you got Brett Farve, what makes you think he is going to reverse the mojo in your teams breadbasket. Face it the Jets, Mets and Nets just suck and they might make it to the championship game every once in a while, but they are fated to lose.

Because they are losers, just like their fans.

Trooper York Eggplant caponata recieipe

Take three large eggplants. Cut off the end with the stalk, and using a potato peeler, peel long strips of the skin off of the eggplant. Leave some strips on so it looks like a beach umbrella. You know what I mean.

Then dice the eggplant in square pieces about two inches a piece.

Put some olive oil and diced garlic in a pan and after it is heated add the eggplant.

Fry the eggplant until it becomes somewhat mushy. Not too mushy now.

Take either your own sauce or get a few cans of whole tomato and put it in the food processor and pulse it a few times. Don't smush it into puree, be sure to have a bunch of healthy chunks.

Add some red wine vinegar, about a quarter of a cup to the eggplant. Let it bubble a little and then add the tomato. You can also use apple cider vinegar if you want to go crazy.

Stir as it cooks. Add some salt and pepper. Cook for about six minutes. Take it off the stove and let it cool.

Add a jar of green olives with pimentos, halved of course.

Chill.

Then serve.

Thank's Pogo, you are a good man!

Pogo thanks very much. You are a good man. I really enjoyed that and will be happily reading it this Sunday since THE WORLD CHAMPION NEW YORK GIANTS won't be playing.

Long day in the store today.

I spent the day behind the counter so I only had time to post about 96 times on Althouse. Hee hee. It's easier to post there since I don't have to pay attention like I do on my own blog.

One of our best customers came in with her screeching two year old baby. The baby wouldn't let her mom put her down. But she still found a couple of great work dresses.

Back in the swing of things.

I didn't blog a lot while we were in Vegas because we were very busy. We had a lot of meetings and a lot of them didn't go well. All of these companies are the same. The big ones are no problem. You see the line, pick out what you want, pay for it and you are off to the races. But when you find a new designer that you want to use it is always a problem. The wife is too nice and she befriends these people. She helps them with the design and the fabrics and the look that we know will sell. Then they have to cut the garment. They need to cut a certain amount and they always seem to stick us with a big number of pieces. Then the other stores get away with buying a size run or two and getting the cream while we have to struggle to sell 50 or 60 pieces. Not anymore. So we have to figure this out. How to get new exciting stuff without having to bet the farm on it.

I hate Palinatology!

Man enough with the Sarah Palin stuff already. Everyone is beating it to death. 600 to 700 comments on a lot of blogs. Enough already. I mean I like her and all but get a fucking grip on yourself.

Plus it is bringing a whole bunch of new trolls out to bust balls. It's like they turned over a rock and they are moving into your kitchen floor.

THE WORLD CHAMPION NEW YORK GIANTS AND A LIST OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITES!

Spider Lockhart the safety for the Gints in the 70’s when I really started following the team. A solid defender against the pass he would still put a hit on a running back and knock him on his ass.

Joe Morrison. Old reliable running back in the ‘50’s and ‘60’s. I only remember him as a fill in on the sidelines, he always be standing next to the coach, this really old guy, and I say what the hell is he doing dressed up like that. Then he would go in the game and catch a pass or stick a block and I would go, all right old guy.

Tucker Fredrickson, running back. The guy who kept the dream alive in between the winning times. He served the same function for the Giants that Bobby Murcer did for the Yankees. A classy star who played in between the championship years. A true Giant.

Fran the Scram Tarkenton. The quarterback who kept us in a lot of games, and ran us out of a lot of games. You never knew what you would get with Fran. But very entertaining.

Mark Barvaro the toughest tight end there ever was. The highlight reel where he catches that pass and pulls three guys in the end zone is the greatest thing I ever saw. Plus a good Catholic who wasn’t afraid to put it out there in the face of the commie media. Good man.

Carl Banks the tough as nails linebacker who is a commenter on the current Giants broadcasts. A tough tackler and a guy who played in pain, he was part of the heart and soul of the championship teams.

Doug Kotar the scrappy running back. Man he never did amount to a lot in the league but he had balls and I loved the way he played. He got every ounce out of his talent.

Lawrence Taylor the best crack head to ever play the game. He taught me an important lesson, you shouldn’t care how drugged up your guys are, if they help you win the game then it’s ok. Once they slip, then you cut their ass. Right Bill Parcels?

Phil Simms the championship quarterback and leader who got dicked around by Parcels but forced him to play him and really won two championships for us. I was at the Buffalo game where he got hurt and Hostetler came in to lead us to the Super Bowl, but that was Phil’s team. A great Giant.

Brad Benson who was a guard on the first Superbowl team. Now he owns a car dealership and makes these great commercials. In the latest one he says if you buy a car from him you will get a pants suit lap dance from Hillary Clinton or Sarah Palin will pretend to have your baby. Now that’s entertainment.

She is hit in the head with the other shoe and a rubber chicken bleeding from the vagina!

Grusinskaya (bursts into their suite, with a vein pulsing in her neck): Well you have really done it this time you pusilamous pervert. Everyone is talking about your comments about the Baron. You are a fool.
Miss Peggy Noonan (cowering on a settee, holding a whimpering dog, the marks and bruies of Grusinskaya attempted strangulation vivid on her alabaster skin). It’s not my fault. I just said it be agreeable. I am not strong like you. I want everyone to like me.
Grusinskaya: You fool they will never like you. You are not one of them. Not of the elite. You didn’t go to the right university. You don’t have the right friends. You worked for their greatest enemy.
Miss Peggy Noonan: But some people like me. Why just today a man struck a conversation with me. He wanted to talk about the opera and what type of soap I used. And he had a chicken on a leash.
Grusinskaya: So you flirted with him and led him on like the floozy you are. Wait a minute. You said he had a chicken on a leash.
Miss Peggy Noonan: Yes. It was very exciting. The chicken had many bruies and I believe that it was bleeding from it’s vagina. When I asked him what it was all about, he just said that he was a hard one.
Grusinskaya: SO YOU LED HIM ON! YOU FOOL! THAT IS THE FAMOUS CHICKEN MOLESTOR OF THE TUTENBERG FOREST!
Miss Peggy Noonan: I don’t think so. I mean I did say that love to wear a leash on occasion and I would be willing to choke his chicken. He just mumbled and walked away.
Grusinskaya: You blowsy bitch, I told you that only control you. You must be punished! (She jumps across the table and begins to throttle the albino opinion maker)
Miss Peggy Noonan: Pllleeaasse sssttttoooopppp iiitttttt, IIIIIIIII wwwwwiiiiillll lllllleeeeeaaaaveeee hhhhhiissss ccccchhhhiiiiicccckkkkkeeennnn aaaaallllllooooonnnnneeeeeee!!!!!!
Grusinskaya: Shut up you pervert…you know you are enjoying this
Miss Peggy Noonan: Yooouu onlllly hurtttt meeee cccaaauuuse yoooouuu loooovvve meeeeee (She falls unconscious as her nipples come fully erect and her shift becomes damp).
Baron Felix von Geigern's dog; Woof!
(Grand Hotel, 1932)

The other high heel pump drops!

Grusinskaya (bursts into their suite, with a vein pulsing in her neck): What have you done you stuttering strumpet? I notice everyone is whispering your name in the hotel lobby.
Miss Peggy Noonan (cowering on a settee, holding a whimpering dog): I fear a private conversation was overheard. I was talking to a friend and mentioned that the Baron's new choice of companion was most unfortunate.
Grusinskaya: What new companion? I had not heard of this. Answer me you simpering suck up.
Miss Peggy Noonan: He has chosen a woman to help him rule the Baronery. A fecund strumpet with an idiot child. She rides in men’s breeches and shoots the moose. It is most unladylike. I just said I thought it was bullshit. Pardon my frankness. I just had to say it.
Grusinskaya: He would never choose such a person over me. I am his muse. He is devoted to me. To me do you hear! Ever since he was shot down in the war and held prisoner by the Amies, he has loved me. This is just a lie.
Miss Peggy Noonan: So I said. Although he does like the strange. I remember the sultry days we spent as he thrust into me as he whipped me with his swagger stick…. And the day he pinned his medal on my bare bosom and licked each line of fresh blood away…..it was heavenly.
Grusinskaya: You blowsy bitch, I told you never to mention those days again…I will show you (She jumps across the table and begins to throttle the albino opinion maker)
Miss Peggy Noonan: Thisssss isss bullsssssshhhhhhitttttt!!!! (Cough, gasp, rattle) Grusinskaya: Shut up you pervert…you know you are enjoying this
Miss Peggy Noonan: Yooouu onlllly hurtttt meeee cccaaauuuse yoooouuu loooovvve meeeeee (She falls unconscious as her nipples come fully erect and her shift becomes damp).
Baron Felix von Geigern dog; Woof!
(Grand Hotel, 1932)

He must have vetted her!

Bullwinkle was devestated by what had happened to his party. He had been a life long Republican as had everyone in his family except for his unlce Kermit who was a life long friend and lover of Teddy Roosevelt who named the Bull Moose Party after him. Bullwinkle was a leader of the Log Cabin Republican Cartoon division and was eagerly anticipating supporting the Republican ticket. McCain was no religious extremist. He was the best hope for a homosexual moose who wanted to get married. When he picked a woman as his running mate, he was entused. But then the rumors started. It couldn’t be true. He must have vetted her. How could he pick someone whose favorite food is “moose stew.” THE HORROR!
(Jay Ward and Alex Anderson, Rocky and Bullwinkle, E True Hollywood Story)

Back to School Sale!

Back from vacation and the buying trip. So it's back to work and back to goofing off at work by posting on the internet. A lot went on while I was away and it wasn't pretty. I don't want to rehash any of it, I don't claim to have any interest in Pallin-a-tology.