My dear Holmes,
It is your most humble petitioner, Inspector Lestrade. It has been many months since I have last requested your assistance in the troubling matter of the disappearance of Lord Douchebag which you might not recall as it happened several years ago. However today I must make enquiries regarding the case of the bumbling bumbershoot.
It is your most humble petitioner, Inspector Lestrade. It has been many months since I have last requested your assistance in the troubling matter of the disappearance of Lord Douchebag which you might not recall as it happened several years ago. However today I must make enquiries regarding the case of the bumbling bumbershoot.
It seems that a photo has surfaced
that depicts the prime minister performing an unnatural act with an umbrella.
It appears that this umbrella is of foreign design with strange markings
typical of the musselman and originating in the Levant or perhaps in some other
part of the domains of the Ottoman. In this photo it seems that a member of the
Coldstream Guards had inserted this tool into the Prime Minister's fundament.
And then opened it. It seems he had shot it into his bum. So to speak. It is
quite disquieting.
In any event I do not know if this
is an area in which you have any knowledge. There has often been talk about
your relationship with Dr. Watson but I have always discounted that as the idle
jibber jabber of jealous minds. However I do think it is possible that your
brother Mycroft might offer some sage advice.
I well recall the matter of the
street lascar and the barrel of whale oil that was quite the talk of the club
last year. Also the unfortunate incident with the narwhale tusk and tar that
require his visit to hospital last month. So I would respectfully request that
you contact your brother and have him aid us in our inquires.
My best to Doctor Watson and my
condolences on the recent death of his second wife. It is passing strange that
she would perish at such a young age in much the same manner as his first.
I am sure you are glad that he is
back in your rooms.
I remain as always,
Your obedient servant,
Inspector G. Lestrade
Scotland Yard
October 19, 1899
Your obedient servant,
Inspector G. Lestrade
Scotland Yard
October 19, 1899
4 comments:
The words and phrases in bold are what mark the writer's talent here, IMO
My dear Holmes,
It is your most humble petitioner, Inspector Lestrade. It has been many months since I have last requested your assistance in the troubling matter of the disappearance of Lord Douchebag which you might not recall as it happened several years ago. However today I must make enquiries regarding the case of the bumbling bumbershoot.
It seems that a photo has surfaced that depicts the prime minister performing an unnatural act with an umbrella. It appears that this umbrella is of foreign design with strange markings typical of the musselman and originating in the Levant or perhaps in some other part of the domains of the Ottoman. In this photo it seems that a member of the Coldstream Guards had inserted this tool into the Prime Minister's fundament. And then opened it. It seems he had shot it into his bum. So to speak. It is quite disquieting.
In any event I do not know if this is an area in which you have any knowledge. There has often been talk about your relationship with Dr. Watson but I have always discounted that as the idle jibber jabber of jealous minds. However I do think it is possible that your brother Mycroft might offer some sage advice.
I well recall the matter of the street lascar and the barrel of whale oil that was quite the talk of the club last year. Also the unfortunate incident with the narwhale tusk and tar that require his visit to hospital last month. So I would respectfully request that you contact your brother and have him aid us in our inquires.
My best to Doctor Watson and my condolences on the recent death of his second wife. It is passing strange that she would perish at such a young age in much the same manner as his first.
I am sure you are glad that he is back in your rooms.
Thanks chickie. I really appreciate the kind words.
I felt generous today as we had a great day in the store so I dealt out some content. I was posting and selling all day. Good Stuff.
It is fun to write the Holmes stories. Putting into a rigid letter format makes it so much easier.
What Raylan said.
These Lestrade posts are inspired.
It is fun to write the Holmes stories. Putting into a rigid letter format makes it so much easier.
I can appreciate that. When I was writing and publishing chemistry papers or practically anything in law there was always a "format" that made thing easier. The question is, when and how did you come up with the first "Holmes Letter"? Is the earliest example in your archives or was it done someplace else like Althouse?
Post a Comment