Lucifer: This is getting ridiculous. How is it we can’t find anybody to be the new PA announcer. Maybe we should broaden the search a little. Who has slid down the shute lately Forcas?
Forcas: Well we don’t have anybody for PA announcer but I think our football season is looking up.
Lucifer: Really? Did the Cowboys team plane crash?
Forcas: No that’s not for a couple of years yet when Romo tries to give the pilot a hummer. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But one of favorite son’s is about to show up.
Forcas: Well we don’t have anybody for PA announcer but I think our football season is looking up.
Lucifer: Really? Did the Cowboys team plane crash?
Forcas: No that’s not for a couple of years yet when Romo tries to give the pilot a hummer. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But one of favorite son’s is about to show up.
Jack Tatum: (tumbles through the trap door to fall in front of the throne of Lucifer) What…what’s fuckin motherfuck the fuck?
Lucifer: Jack. Son. You are here at last!
Jack Tatum: Where the fuck is here blood?
Forcas: Why you are in Hell Mr. Tatum. And this is your father, Lucifer.
Jack Tatum: Well I never knew my daddy so I guess it be possible.
Lucifer: Damn straight son. I have been waiting. You have to get out practicing with the rest of my sons. They are all from the Raiders, Eagles, Cowboys and Steelers. Now we just have to wait for Big Ben to show up after that girl’s father shoots him and we will have a Quarterback and we can finally beat Heaven’s team.
Jack Tatum. We’s gonna beat Heaven’s team? How dat be possible?
Lucifer: Well the big guy doesn’t care all that much about football. He only watches the New York Giants games. He is really a baseball fan and when the Yankees are in the series he doesn’t pay too much attention till after the series is over and sometimes I can cause an injury and fuck up the Giants and then he loses interest. But he does root for our annual Homecoming Game.
Jack Tatum: Well I never knew my daddy so I guess it be possible.
Lucifer: Damn straight son. I have been waiting. You have to get out practicing with the rest of my sons. They are all from the Raiders, Eagles, Cowboys and Steelers. Now we just have to wait for Big Ben to show up after that girl’s father shoots him and we will have a Quarterback and we can finally beat Heaven’s team.
Jack Tatum. We’s gonna beat Heaven’s team? How dat be possible?
Lucifer: Well the big guy doesn’t care all that much about football. He only watches the New York Giants games. He is really a baseball fan and when the Yankees are in the series he doesn’t pay too much attention till after the series is over and sometimes I can cause an injury and fuck up the Giants and then he loses interest. But he does root for our annual Homecoming Game.
Jack Tatum: There be a Homecoming game betweens Heaven and Hell.
Lucifer: Oh yeah. This year Zsa Zsa Gabor is homecoming queen. Oh don’t tell her yet. I want it to be a surprise. Now get out there on the practice field and Darryl Stingley that fucking pussy Bob Hayes when he runs a post in practice. The fuckin guy won’t go over the middle for shit. I hate that I have to use fuckin Cowboys.
Jack Tatum: Ok boss, consider it done.
Lucifer: That’s my boy!
Lucifer: Oh yeah. This year Zsa Zsa Gabor is homecoming queen. Oh don’t tell her yet. I want it to be a surprise. Now get out there on the practice field and Darryl Stingley that fucking pussy Bob Hayes when he runs a post in practice. The fuckin guy won’t go over the middle for shit. I hate that I have to use fuckin Cowboys.
Jack Tatum: Ok boss, consider it done.
Lucifer: That’s my boy!
1 comment:
Pure genius.
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