10. Peter Pan (2003). Captain Hook is the Villain but was he really so bad. With Lynn Redgrave the one Redgrave we can stand. Hey we had to start somewhere and Captain Hook only had one arm. This is a lot better the Hook the Spielberg atrocity.
9. The Beguiled. Clint Eastwood as a Yankee soldier who is forced to recuperate in girl’s boarding school in Louisiana. He flirts and seduces several of the girls but they end up cutting off his leg and eventually killing him. Dude use your head. The big one not the little one. Darleen Carr is in this movie. I always had a crush on Darleen Carr. She was always the hippie chick on Medical Center or Mannix or something. Man what a babe.
8. The Hand (1981) starring Michael Caine. Directed by Oliver Stone. Yes that Oliver Stone. A cartoonist has his hand amputated in an accident where it is lost at the scene. Or is it. It follows him home like a demented Lassie and starts killing his enemies. Why it didn’t kill that commie douche bag Stone I will never know. Christopher Walken turned it down because it was too creepy for him. Imagine being too creepy for Christopher Walken.
7. Treasure Island. With Robert Newton as Long John Silver. The standard by which all Pirates are measured. Except for Roberto Clemente. Arrrgggghhhh me hearties. Shiver my timbers.
6. El Topo. An incoherent mess but a lot of people missing legs in it. For all your nerdy movie geeks who like foreign shit. You need to be high when you watch it. Then it makes sense.
5. Freaks (1932). Todd Browning’s scariest movie. The one that had him banned and ostracized. The beautiful trapeze artist marries the rich midget while she is having an affair with the strong man. She tries to kill him. The Freaks take revenge. Made with real sideshow freaks and geeks.
"We accept her! We accept her! One of us! One of us! Gooble gobble, gooble gobble! One of us! One of us!" Said the freaks.
I think that’s what they said about Titus at Althouse. Just kiddin’ dude.
4. Kings Row (1942) directed by the great Sam Wood. Sam was the greatest B movie director of all time but was really known for action movies. Starring Ronald Reagan in the one role where he actually acts. When he wakes up in bed with both his legs gone and screams "Where's the rest of me" he reaches the pinnacle of his acting career. It was all downhill from there.
3. The Fugitive (1993). The one armed man did it. Normally I can do without Harrison Ford but he was good as a bewildered idiot. Maybe he didn't have to act.
2. Crash (1996. Car crash victims have sex right after crashing their cars. David Cronenberg is one weird dude. With the delicious Rosanna Arquette who is on my list of most bang able actresses. Along with her sister Patricia. Man would I like to rear end them. Anyway Rosanna plays a accident victim who has a lot of removable parts. Sexy.
1. The Best Years of Our Lives (1946) to be serious for a minute. Starring Harold Russell as the double amputee who still can live his life. Inspiring. And very relavent today with all of our guys coming home in a similar situation. God bless them.
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8 comments:
Now this is a kick-ass list.
The Hand is Stone's best work, though it is creepy. Freaks is one of my favorite movies. Best Years of our Lives I think is finally being remembered after a long period of being ignored.
Movies that involve on-screen amputations always have a little extra something. Like Hitch's Lifeboat or Master and Commander.
Dude, you're missing the greatest movie of all time: Body Parts. It is THE Jeff Fahey masterpiece and the best movie about the potential down-side of head amputations.
Thats a great tip. I never saw Body Parts so I have to put it on my list. I left off Boxing Helena
which was very celebrated amputation movie. But it sucked so hard I didn't think it should make the list. These lists are generally movies I have seen and enjoyed and recommend for people to check out. That's why I will throw in a little known film that I enjoy to give it a little flavor. All contributions are greatly appreciated. Tell me about more obscure films so I can check them out.
Outis, good call!
What about the one with Kim Basinger where she was in a box with no limbs?
That was Boxing Helena but Kim Bassinger did not star in it. You remember the controvesy where she bowed out after signing a contract which was a big deal at the time. They used the girl from Twin Peaks whose name escapes me and Kim went on to costar with Alec Baldwin which led to one of the most disaterous marriages in show business history. She would have been a lot better off if they did cut off her arms and her legs.
Was it...Sherilyn "I've Never Been In A Normal Movie" Fenn?
Right on the money. I forget her name and I am too drunk to google tonight. You never want to google drunk because you never know where you might end up.
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