Set phasers on Stunning!

Captains Log Star Date 1369.69

After the inclusion of Planet Claire into the United Federation of Planets, same sex marriage has been officially sanctioned. Commander Sulu has announced that he wishes to marry Yeoman Titus a new crewman from the Planet Uranus. Under the rules of the Federation, Doctor McCoy will perform the marriage as he is the Chief Medical Officer as well as the Morale officer who officiates at all such ceremonies.

Captain Kirk: Well Bones we have set the ceremony for the change of watch at 1800 hours. Are you ready?
Doctor McCoy: Damn it Jim, I'm a Doctor not a musical comedy performer. I have no idea what to do. But that's not whats worrying me. It's Spock. He seems to be ill. He is not his usual light green color. He seems to have turned an unusual shade of pink.
Captain Kirk: You know you're right Bones. He looks like Yeoman Rand's quirm.
Doctor McCoy: WHAT!
(Mr. Spock comes onto the Bridge, his skin is bright pink and he is sweating and shivering)
Captain Kirk: Spock what's wrong with you, you seem ill. Shouldn't you be in the infirmary.
Mr. Spock: That would not be logical Captain. I am not ill.
Dr. McCoy: Don't tell me you're not ill you pointy eared retard.
Mr. Spock: It's not an illness Doctor. I am afraid it is that time that many Vulcans experience sometime during their life. It is when a man begins to feel that he has to bond with another man in the most intimate of ways. It is the time of Rupaul....