Grandma Restituta's Red Sauce!

And it ain’t gravy you fuckin’ morons, gravy is brown.

1 whole sweet onion
12 count ‘em 12 fucking cloves of garlic
Six cans of plum tomatoes
1 can of tomato paste
3 Bay Leaves
½ teaspoon of red pepper
1 piece of gravy round beef a cut of chuck or something like that there.
1 teaspoon of this Vietnamese chile and garlic stuff you can find in the foreign food section of your specialty store (grandma didn’t use it but I added it)
Some good wine
Salt and pepper.
One teaspoon of sugar

Chop up the onion and put it in the food processor and give it a couple of whirls. (What ya thought this was gonna be a professional recipe Dust Bunny Queen, furrgetaboutit)
Throw some olive oil in a big pot and dump in the onions and start to caramelize them. Clean and chop up the garlic cloves. Make a spot in the pot in the oil and start to cook the garlic. Smush it all around. Add a teaspoon of the red Vietnamese garlic chile sauce that shit is hot. Take your gravy round and toss it in. Brown on both sides. Then pour in some wine to debride the pan and let it all sizzle and smell really good. Smush that all around. Open the cans of tomatoes and toss only the actual plum tomatoes in the food processor and give a couple of turns. Don’t liquefy it douche bag. Just chop it up enough to break it up. Then put it in the pot together with the liquid from the cans. Fill one can with water and then pour it from can to can to get all of the tomato stuff out before ya throw the cans in the freakin’ garbage. Then put in the can of tomato paste. That will give it body since you put in too much water you dick. Add the bay leaves. Throw some salt about three pinches. Toss in one spoon of sugar. Ground two turns of fresh black pepper into the sauce. Bring to a boil. Simmer for about an hour and a half under a low flame. You can also add the meatballs but be aware that they will soak up all of the sauce. So only put them in for the last half hour. Enjoy you bastards.