Remembrance of Things Pabst

So we are out with the girls from Avenue M...enopause and unfortunately they were in charge of the dinner reservations. You see these are my wife's friends from childhood. They have all been friends since kindergarten. They get together a couple of times a year. Usually we only can go if they come to Brooklyn because of the store. Which they are glad to do since they are all originally from Brooklyn and we are actually equidistant from the New Jersey and the Long Island contingents. So when they come to Brooklyn they let me handle all of the reservations and ordering and what not. Since we have so many great restaruants in downtown Brooklyn I can hook us up with some great meals. But on this trip we were just along for the ride and the sister of the girl who turned 50 planned everything. Big mistake.

The first night we had a reservation at this joint in Resorts International called Carpriccio. It was a supposedly high end joint that did indeed have high end prices. But the food left a lot to be desired. The wine list was just adequate and I managed to find a Chianti that was serviceable. The food on the other had was basically your corporate restaurant style. Sort of like Carrabba's Italian grill if you are familiar with that. Erzat Italian food that is pretty much bland and tasteless. I started my bullshit like I always do and was joking around with the waiter. His name was Oscar and he joked that I was a lucky guy with seven woman. I told him sister wives are not all they are cracked up to be. And that we would be seeing his buddy Felix later. For which he had no idea about the Odd Couple because he was a Mexican. I told him we wanted some dishes without any meat because it was a Friday in Lent. So we got some stuff that was deadly bland. Now I don't think the meat would have made much of a difference as it was not spiced enough,. I had the gnocchi in cream sauce which was pretty bland. The wife had ravioli in a butter sage sauce that was also very bland. Which is hard to do if you cook it right. But hey waddaygonna do.

Now the next problem is that I always get stuck figuring out the bill. What I like to do is split it evenly. I don't pay attention to who orders what. Everyone should order whatever you want. Don't tell me you only had a main course and no appetizer or dessert and only drank water and only want to kick in $20. Nobody told you to do that. You should have order like everyone else. If you want to act like that then I don't want to have dinner with you. It is as simple as that. Or you can sit there and calculate what everyone should pay and tell me what my end is. I mean I would be happy with that. But don't task me with cutting it up and then bullshit me about it. I admit that this bill was kind of pricey. And it wasn't worth it. The joint was in the Resorts International Hotel and Casino. So they kind of gouged you out pretty good. Hey I didn't pick it. I knew a couple of great joints over on Atlantic Avenue away from the Casinos that were great. But they didn't want to go there. So we had to pay the piper and not eat top notch stuff.

You see the reason why they wanted us to go there was because they had tickets to the show. The Drag Show. Guys dressed up as broads singing and dancing.

Where the fuck is Titus when you need him.