Panda Sex with Charles Bukowski

Van Gogh writing his brother for paints
Hemingway testing his shotgun
Celine going broke as a doctor of medicine
the impossibility of being human
Villon expelled from Paris for being a thief
Faulkner drunk in the gutters of his town
the impossibility of being human
Burroughs killing his wife with a gun
Mailer stabbing his
the impossibility of being human
Maupassant going mad in a rowboat
Dostoevsky lined up against a wall to be shot
Crane off the back of a boat into the propeller
the impossibility
Sylvia with her head in the oven like a baked potato
Harry Crosby leaping into that Black Sun
Lorca murdered in the road by Spanish troops
the impossibility
Artaud sitting on a madhouse bench
Chatterton drinking rat poison
Shakespeare a plagiarist
Beethoven with a horn stuck into his head against deafness
the impossibility the impossibility
Nietzsche gone totally mad
the impossibility of being human
all too human
this breathing
in and out
out and in
these punks
these cowards
these champions
these mad dogs of glory'
this gang bang of virtuosity
moving this little bit of light toward us
impossibly.

It was 30 years ago but I remember it as if it was yesterday.....

I saw John sing this in concert back in the day.

Speaks to you as you sit at home keeping your distance.

Angie and Frank

.

"Hello Angie. I'm the King of Siam. Shall we dance."
"Fuggedabout Baldy. She's with me."
"Don't be mean Frank, He's harmless. I hear he's packing a Magnificent Seven. A lot better than your pal Jack."
"Don't be a slut Angie. Now come sit on my lap and I will show you the braciole."
"Oh I love me some Italian."

Dr Fauci said......

Dr Fauci said it is too soon to go back to normal. Too soon to go to restaurants. Too soon to go to the ballgame. Way too soon to go to church. Or buy baby car seats. Or flowers for your garden. Too soon to be Americans.

You see Dr. Fauci knows better. He knows how you should run your life. He knows better than President Tump. Better than your governor. Better than you.

He knows he can fuck you.

And there doesn't seem to be anything we can do about it.

Dr Fauci said

The National Weather Service has reported that there will be seventy mile an hour winds tomorrow. Since the weatherman is never wrong the President has consulted with his scientific advisers. Dr. Fauci has insisted that due to the potential damages based on the computer models every home in the United States must be demolished because if the winds knock them down some people might get hurt. Of course women and minorities will be most affected. All Americans are directed to give up their personal residences and report to government shelters until they are allocated approved governmental housing.

So please be prepared for your house to be demolished because as we know Dr. Fauci is never wrong.

The Babe Abides

"We are here with the pitching sensation of the Boston Red Sox the one and only Babe Ruth. Babe how do you think the Sox are going to do in this early going of the 1918 season?"
"Why we are going to the Series keed waddaya think?"
"Well it seems that the Yankees have a good team as do the Tigers so do you really think the Sox can get to the Series?"
"Of course we can whats the matter with you? Are you retarded or something?"
"Babe several of the fellas have been down with the flu in Spring Training. Do you think that will effect the team this season/"
"What a little flu? Why would that be a problem? What are we pussies? I once played the whole season with the clap and my pecker was oozing like a tube of Peposdent that I stepped on when I was fucking that whore on the bathroom sink. A little flu never meant nothing. Besides I hear only them spics get it."
"Thanks Babe for your time."
"Get that to editing. They might have to slice it up a little. Achoo. Damn I think I have an allergy to pine tar or something..

Angie and Frank

"Scout's Honor Ange I swear it is big and thick."
"Sure Frank that's what your buddy Jack said and it was anything but."
"Well he's Irish what do you expect. I am a Wop and I got a Pop in my Sock."
"Sure Frank that's not what Ava says."
"You gonna listen to that whore. Look King Kong couldn't touch the sides on that skank. Just give me a chance Doll. I really am up to snuff. Scouts Honor."
"I guess we will see then won't we."
"Thanks baby. You won't regret it."

Global Warming in my Pants.

You know what this shut down of our economy for this overstated flu bug is really about?

It is a practice run for shutting us down because of global warming.

Think about it. No food in the supermarket. People informing on their neighbors. The police arresting you for not following the dictates of every petty tyrant elected mayor or governor who want to abrogate the constitution by closing down the liquor and gun stores. The government deciding if your business or job is essential. Everyone dependent on a government check.

It is communism pure and simple.

The same experts that said millions would die when the total will be about 20,000 are the ones who tell us that global warming will destroy the world in twelve years. They will outlaw personal automobiles and air conditioning. They will proscribe certain foods like beef and demand we only eat carbon neutral produced food like soybeans. Or Soylent Green for that matter.

Many of the horrible scenarios from the science fiction movies of the past are coming true. Some think it will be like "Blade Runner." Others think it will be "Logan's Run" where the elderly will be killed off. Still others think it will be "Soylent Green."

Me I think it will be like "Planet of the Apes."

Welcome your new Overlords:

Betty Rubble is a Dirty Girl

Everybody knows that Betty Rubble is a dirty girl.

But did you know that Wilma was always willing?

Drive in's were a lot of fun in Bedrock.

You could have a Yabba Do Old Time.

Was Endgame prophetic?

Last night I was watching Avenger's Endgame. In it the world had lost 50% of its population. There was immense sadness and everyone was walking around like a zombie. Everything was closed and the streets were a dystopian nightmare.

Sort of the way they have turned America into a Science Fiction movie.

It seems that the socialist have gotten what they wanted. Empty shelves in the supermarket. People informing on their neighbors. A police state where they can arrest you for playing in the park with your kid. People not working but dependent on a government check to survive.

They have turned America into Russia.

There are no superheros to save us. Captain America is a fraud. Iron Man is really the Tin Man. The Hulk doesn't smash. It's not politically correct.

How did we lose our way?

Ozark is back

One of the best shows on Netflicks is back. Ozark has returned for Season Three and it is a doozy.

Starring Jason Bateman, Laura Linney and Julia Garner it is the story of family that is laundering money for a Mexican Drug Cartel. Through various machinations in the first two season they wind up in Sixty Grit country. It is pretty interesting seeing the American criminals mixing it up with the Mexicans. You have cartel guys. Hillbilly criminal families. The Kansas City Mafia. All going at it like crabs in a bucket.

It has a bang up surprise ending. Highly recommended. 

The Babe Abides

"That's right keed. It's this big."
"Com'on Babe you must be kidding."
"Nah keed that's were I get all my power. You just have to keep on grabbing and tugging on it. Then someday you might have as big a bat as the Babe."
"Where did you figure that out Babe,"
"In the reformatory St. Mary's. Brother Ignatius taught me. I guess you didn't learn that in the Salvation Army."
"Ok Babe I will follow your advice."
"Good thing keed. Because you know you will always be known as a jerk off."

RIP Al Kaline

AL Kaline just passed away. A great player. A good man. A gentlemen.

I always really respected him. I wished he would have been a Yankee. He would have been a great Yankee. I can't think of higher praise for him.

RIP Al.

RIP John Prine

I had a bunch of his albums when I was in college. I enjoyed his work even though he was a bit of a commie.

Still and all he had a lot of talent and wrote some great fun songs.

Rip John. I enjoyed a lot of your tunes.

You belong to me Hossaroni

The press is owned and controlled by the Chinese Communists. Yesterday a so called reporter asked President Trump if he would continue to cooperate with China and that China was sending tons of medical supplies to US as if they hadn't been bought and paid for. Trump was naturally suspicious and asked if she worked for China. She claimed that she did not.

In fact she works for a Hong Kong company owned by a former PRC military officer and is controlled by the Communist Chinese. This is fully explained in this article in the Epoch Times.

President Trump asked her if she worked for China and she denied it. Of course the scum media called him a racist. They won't look at the truth of the matter since they are corrupt. Take ABC which is owned by Disney. Disney makes millions even billions from China. Every shit ass movie that bombs here makes itself profitable in the China. Disney doesn't want to lose money so they will direct the coverage to attack the President.

This is the time to end the main stream media once and for all.

Marilyn's Diary

We were always very health conscious in the Munster family.  Aunt Lily made us eat right and was ahead of her time in her use of herbal homeopathic remedies. She cooked all of our dinners and we were all fit as a fiddle. Even Uncle Herman which was an impressive feat since he was made of over 1,545 different people that the Doctor back in the old country used to create him. Some of them must have been sickly after all since they were dead when he took the parts. Still and all we were remarkably healthy.

Aunt Lily was a good if eclectic cook. She made the normal fair. Macaroni and frog.  Spaghetti and newt sauce.  Every thing was fine until one day she made something that got us all sick. You see she made Chinese bat soup.

We all got sick. Eddie started coughing and wheezing. He sounded just like he did when he whacked off when he stole some of my pee stained panties. Aunt Lily and Uncle Herman changed color. Normally they were green but they turned pink. It was a little terrifying.

The worst of course was Grandpa. You see he was the most at risk, He was the oldest considering he was over three thousand years old. And he had a underlying condition. You see he was a vampire so when he sucked out blood he would get all kinds of esoteric blood diseases. He was the first person to discover sickle cell anemia because he liked him some brown sugar. So he was really affected.

Eventually we all got better. As usual these things are wildly overstated. I mean it wasn't the plague or berri berri or anything like that there. It did effect Grandpa the most I guess because it got him interested in medicine. He got a part time job as a technician with this doctor named Marcus Welby.  He was famous for hiring odd people. He had the first wetback nurse and his partner was a retard who was so dumb he ended up marrying Barbara Striesnd.

So Grandpa started working for him. Of course he was up to his old tricks. He wrote some numbers on his dick and told the patients that it was a thermometer. Some of these Hollywood people were so dumb that he believed it. Grandpa really loved to take their temperature.

You see he always did it anally.

Grandpa was a scamp.

White House Correspondents Group banish woman from the ONAN network.

The  White House Correspondents Group has banished Chanel Rion from the daily briefings. Supposedly it was because she violated the corona virus restrictions where only approved reporters are allowed into the briefings. She stood in the back and was immediately snitched on by one of the ultra liberal cunts who demanded she be barred. The ultra liberal group than threw her out not because of any bogus rules but because she is from a conservative network that the President likes and asked the questions that I would ask. For example she asked is it racist to call it Chinese food and if it isn't why can't we call it the Chinese flu.

The press is nothing by crap. They were sick but they are getting sick. Not from the Kung Flu but from their relentless hypocrisy and bias. I understand why they wanted to get rid of the ONAN networks. They want to be the principle jerk offs in town

Still and all correspondent Chanel Rion will be facilitating a lot of Onanism at the old Ponderosa. Just sayn'

Oy my little yiddisher pickel

"Ricpic where are you my boobala. I miss you. I know your are tired of that greasy Latin guy who has to blow his car to start it. Come with me and I will show you that it is not true what they say about the Yiddisher girls. Be my golem. Come back to me."

"Its me your Molly. Come back!"

Panda Sex with Charles Bukoswki

your life is your life

don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.

be on the watch.

there are ways out.

there is light somewhere.

it may not be much light but

it beats the darkness.

Communist plans to shut down Churches.

Communist Mayor Bill De Blasio has stated that if Churches or Synagogues hold religious services with more than ten people he will direct the cops to disperse them. If they do not comply he will seize the buildings and permanently throw the houses of worship out.

In America. In 2020.

Bishop Dolan is silent. All of the Catholic church is silent, The Jews are silent. De Blasio doesn't mention the mosques so maybe that doesn't apply to them.

Did we throw out the Constitution? Did we repeal the Freedom of Religion clause?

Where is the outrage? Where is the push back?

Where are the Americans?

In The Garden

This s where I am going to spend my time while I wait for the sweet release of death.

If I am lucky.

Spring is coming.......and a Man needs a Mexican

On our next to last foray into Trader Joe's we found these daffodils that were really cheap. They were half sprouted so we simply put them in the window box and they have started to sprout nicely. All of our annuals are going along great as well. I clipped and cleaned them and they are well on their way to sprouting and looking great this spring.

The issue is the gardeners. My mother-in-law had this Italian guy doing the garden for ten years. Last year he sold the business to his best worker this Mexican guy. We had problems with this guy all summer. You see he only had one key employee and the rest of the crew are just tacos he got from Home Depot. So they had no idea and would pull out flowers or trample growing sprouts. I had to stay outside and watch them like a hawk. Which defeats the purpose because they are just supposed to do the job without you knowing about it.

So before the season I tried to call him to make an appointment to go over what we wanted done. What needed to be trimmed and cleaned. Funny thing. There was no answer on his phone. Not on his office phone. Not on his cell phone.

Today a whole new crop of Mexicans showed up. They had the battered tools of that company but when I questioned the guy he said he had bought the company. I told him to forget it. I don't want sloppy thirds.

I investigated a new service but they are all pretty pricey. We basically did most of the cleaning and trimming ourselves last year. I think we are going to do that and just hire a local kid with a lawnmower like in "Leave it to Beaver" times. Fuck it. why not save money and enjoy more time in the garden. With Nature.

Lets get pounded!

What do you do when you are going stir crazy! You stir up a batter and make a pound cake.

We  haven't been out so we can't get a fresh dessert. We like a nice dessert at the end of the day. Maybe a piece of cake. A few cookies . Fresh fruit. Even an Italian Ice. 

So since we are stuck in the house I have been baking. Something I don't like to do because it is all so scientific. Measure this and only add that. I don't believe in science so it is very hard for me. I like to cook because you just  throw stuff in on a whim. You have a general idea but you can always throw in something to make it better. My motto is always more is better.

This brand of gluten-free pound cake is really great. I added some lemon zest and it came out great in my Valentine heart bake pan. This is the brand: 

This company also has a pretty good chocolate chip cookie product that I made a couple of days ago. 

Severed with a little coconut cream it is a perfect end to another day of confinement. 

Celebrity Camel Toe Corner

Combining two of our favorite series.....Celebrity Camel Toe and Whose that girl?

She is dear to many of us because she had a very tight barrow that she liked to show on film. Check it out in all of its cameltoe glory.

Whose that girl?

Doc Holliday Must Die.

Holiday and Hardin walked into the Doctors office. He was drunk as usual. Asleep in his chair with his feet propped up on his desk. Hardin pushed his feet off the desk and the doctor popped up ready to curse out whoever had disturbed his slumber. He saw who it was and thought better of it.

"Sorry to disturb your meditations Doc but I seem to have had an accident and I need your professional services" said Holiday. "I wonder if you might take a gander at my wing. It seems to have been clipped."

"Sure thing Mr. Holiday just sit over here on my table and I will get right to treating it." He led Holiday over to the table in the middle of the room. It cleverly had a hinge that allowed him to raise up half of the table so the patient was not totally supine. This was just what he needed to do with the gunshot wound in the arm. Holiday got up on the table and took off his jacket and shirt. He didn't have that many clothes that he could afford to have them cut off his back.

"You can call me John, Doc. It will be too confusing if we both called each other Doc. Right John Wesley?"

"True enough John I reckon that might be a bit confusing. How does it look Doc?"

"Not bad not bad at all. It went straight through and didn't hit the bone at all. You will be back practicing dentistry before you know it. If you don't mind me asking how did you get dinged John?"
"Bit of unpleasantness with some Yankees at the Drovers Cottage Doc. Nothing to write home about." "Will they be needing me over there after I fix you up?" "That depends" said Hardin. "Depends on what?" "If you are the coroner as well as the only Doctor in town." They all laughed even though it was a feeble joke. The gunslingers because it  struck them funny and the pill pusher because he was damned scared.

The doctor cleaned and flushed out the wound with alcohol. A couple of stitches on both sides of his arm took care of both the entrance and exit wounds. Doc was very luck that it was a very small caliber gun and that the wound was not extensive. All in all he had nothing much to complain about.

There was a knock on the door and Marshal Hickock came into the room.

"Howdy gentlemen. I see that you are getting patched up Doc. You all right?" "Fine Marshal the Doc set me to rights. What can I do you for?"

"Just checking in to get your side of the story. Most of the witnesses said it was a fair fight and those drovers drew first. Is that how you saw it Doc?" "Sure enough Marshal. We didn't have a choice. It was us or them." "I thought as much. Still and all I would much appreciate if you did not make a habit of this. Bad for business." "You can count on us Marshal" said Hickock. "Hardin?" "Long as they leave me alone I ain't gonna draw on anyone who doesn't draw on me first." "Fair enough. When you are done why not come and meet me in the Long Branch. Drinks on me." "I think I might rest up Marshal but maybe tomorrow." Hickock nodded to them and strolled out the door.

Holiday finished putting on his shirt and jacket and got off the table. He stumbled and had to hold on as Hardin grabbed him to steady the off kilter gunman. "You ok John?" "Fine. How much do I owe you Doc?" "One dollar should do it John." Holiday took a dollar out of his pocket and laid it on the table. "Lets go John Wesley. I am ready for a pipe."

The two gunmen left the doctors office and set off to Chink Alley. "You think this is wise Doc?  I don't seem that clean to me" "Clean enough for me." They continued down and entered the low door way of Wongs emporium. The same naked prostitute came up to them and took Holliday hand. She looked at his arm and murmured "You hurt. I fix." He let her lead him to the pallet on the floor. She pressed on his chest till he laid down. Loaded up a pipe and lit it. Handed it too him. Loosened his clothing. She reached into his pants but he grabbed her hand and pulled it back. "Just want to rest a moment honey." She looked at his sad eyes and sighed. Got on the pallet next to him and pressed her naked body against him. He blew out a smoke ring. As content as a tourtured soul could be until he found his way home to Hell.

Why Trader Joe's is better than the Catholic Church!

The Catholic Church has cancelled all of their masses because of the bogus corona virus. Just at the time when people need the comfort of their faith they are closed for business. It's too dangerous. The bishops and the priests would rather sit in their palaces and count their money while watching Netflicks.

Meanwhile Trader Joe's is still open. Here is the wife all bundled up and waiting to get in They only let a limited number of people in. Basically one goes in after one leaves. They gave you wipes to clean your cart. Everyone was wearing gloves in the store. Somehow they could handle it.

Why can't the Churches have Mass? With the sparse attendance it would be no problem for everyone to sit six feet away from each other. If  not then you could just have more Masses. When I was a kid they had six Masses a day to accommodate everyone. If too many people show up they can wait in the car until it is less crowded. Or you can send out tickets for particular masses. A red ticket for the 9 o'clock and blue for the 10, You can figure it out so some old lady who has been going to Mass for eighty years can go to church. It is just laziness sand fear. Greed and corruption. Father Damien didn't worry about it when he was picking lepers fingers off the floor. St Lucy didn't stop because they put her eyeballs on the plate. The Church has fallen so far because a fish rots from the head.

How come Trader Joe's can figure it out and the Catholic Church cannot?

I have some left over Cabbage

Continuing on my streak of non stop cooking I am going to make stuffed cabbage. I have a whole left over cabbage since no one wanted to eat my corn beef and cabbage so I didn't make the whole thing.

I have really been enjoying watching Gina cook. She really reminds me of my grandmother. She cooks the way I do. No fancy measuring other then a full bowl of something. She throws it in and mixes it with her hands. Then while her hands are still dirty she touches the stove or the cabinet or the refrigerator and leaves a little smear on the handle. Exactly the way I do and the wife threatens to kill me if I don't stop being messy. I showed her these videos and said "Look she gets a million views doing exactly what I do in the kitchen that you can see for yourself every day."

She hit me with a wooden spoon.

Living on a Thin Line

Change the venue to America.

It kind of tells the tale these days.

Joan gives you a happy ending!

I had to laugh at this one.

Joan played a dirty whore in "Here Comes the Brides" back when I was a kid. Here she is selling Savings Bonds and promises you a happy ending.

Joan was a cutie back in the day. Here she is reduced to giving happy endings for the government.

Prophetic. Isn't that we are all doing now?

Burgers and fries

Nighthawks at the diner
Of Emma's 49er, there's a rendezvous
Of strangers around the coffee urn tonight
All the gypsy hacks, the insomniacs
Now the paper's been read
Now the waitress said
Eggs and sausage and a side of toast
Coffee and a roll, hashbrowns over easy
Chile in a bowl with burgers and fries
What kind of pie?
In a graveyard charade, a late shift masquerade
Two for a quarter, dime for a dance
With Woolworth rhinestone diamond
Earrings, and a sideway's glance
And now the register rings
And now the waitress sings
The classified section offered no direction
It's a cold caffeine in a nicotine cloud
Now the touch of your fingers
Lingers burning in my memory
I've been 86ed from your scheme
I'm in a melodramatic nocturnal scene
I'm a refugee from a disconcerted affair
As the lead pipe morning falls
And the waitress calls
(Tom Waites)

I am reduced to cooking nonstop to keep the peace here at the Casa Trooper York. Cabin fever is setting in. So I whipped up some burgers and fries for lunch. It's been good eating. 

I feel like Daniel Fucking Defoe.

Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend

Toot’s Shors Saloon, June  28, 1962 (Joe DiMaggio walks into Toots Shore’s saloon, what he doesn’t know is that his ex wife Marilyn Monroe is sitting in the back)
Toots: Hey Joe, how ya doing….ah…Marilyn’s here…in the back… again ….just so you know.
Joe DiMaggio:
Toots: I don’t want no trouble Joe, not like the last couple of times, can you try it keep it friendly. …. why don’t you just go up and say hello.(Joe walks to the back to say hello and stands in front of her table)
Marilyn: (stands up and kisses Joe on the Cheek and says in a breathy sexy voice) Hi Joe. Did you miss me? (Marilyn sits down opposite Joe, and as she does her legs are really open. She is definitely not wearing any underwear, but she does seem a little worse for wear and she smells like a tuna fish sandwich left out in the sun)
Joe DiMaggio:
Toots: Of course he missed ya kid.
Marilyn: So Joe. How have you been? Have you been seeing anybody lately? I divorced Artie you know But I told you that already. That bastard. He put me in nut house. A nut house Joe. That dirty Jew cocksucker. He is a cocksucker you know. All of those theater type are homos.
Joe DiMaggio:
Toots: Yeah we heard about that keed. That’s a shame. But you shudda know that he was a sword swallower.
Marilyn: Everybody thinks I am crazy. I know I am just fine. But everybody is treating me different. I told you that most of them have stopped taking my calls. Sinatra dropped me. Dean won't answer the phone.  Even Jack won't let me visit him in the White House. I fucked him you know. Right in the Oval office under the desk where his children play. He stuck in me for about ten seconds and squeaked like a dog toy and came it two seconds. Why did he drop me Joe? Ain't I a good lay? I fucked his brother too. They made a sandwich of me in Camp David. Why doesn't he call me back. You always call Joe.
Joe DiMaggio:
Toots: Don't talk like that Keed. Joe don't want to hear this shit. You life is your life but he don't wanna hear this. Show some respect.
Marilyn: Show some respect? What are you talking about you stupid Kike bastard. Nobody shows me any fucking respect. I am just a fuck toy. They just want to fuck me. And you know what Joe? They all fucked me. Every one of them. I banged them all. Frank. Dean. Joey Bishop. I even did a three way with Sammy Davis and Mel Torme.  That's right. I fucked that little moolies eye right out with my clit. I showed that greasy prick Torme who had a golden fuckin' throat. I did em all Joe. So you ain't nothing special.
Toots: Ok keed, you poor dumb snatch don’t get excited.
Marilyn: You believe me Joe, don’t you? You were just one among many of the nasty pricks I had to swallow. I fucked them all.   WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT YOU GUINEA COCKSUCKER. (Marilyn red faced and frantic suddenly flips from manic to depressed)
Joe DiMaggio:
Marilyn:  Still nothing to say…well screw you…you sad guinea motherfucker (Marilyn throws her drink at Joe in a half-hearted way, picks up her purse and storms out of the saloon)
Toots Shor: What a crazy broad man, forget about her Joe. Here's a towel.
Joe DiMaggio: Sammy Davis. That little spook.  Tell Frankie Carbo I want to see Bumpy Johnson here tomorrow.
Toots Shor: Joe com'on you don't want to do that. They got rights now. Someday they will be running this fucking country. You wait and see. You don't want your fingerprints on this.

 Joe DiMaggio: DO LIKE I TELL YOU AND SHADUPP!

The Babe Abides

"Hey keed don't stand too close. I don't want to catch no Chinese crud."
"We not Chinese Mr. Root. We Japanese."
"I don't care kid I just know one thing."
"What 's that Mr. Root?"
"You're all pink on the inside."
"Tee heeeeee Mr. Root."
"I just don't want any of youse with a runny nose. Or a runny cunt. I already dealt with that. So line up for inspection. I am going to stick Miller Huggins up there to see what's happening."
"Okey Dokey Mr. Root."

It's like butter.

Everything goes better with butter.

When we went to Trader Joe's last week there were some shortages. Not many eggs. Sparse stocking in the bread aisle. Not a lot of buttter.

You see we like the Trader Joe's brand of butter. It is relatively inexpensive and tastes great. But they were out. They only had unsalted. Fuck that shit.

Now I was stuck out in the car and was shopping by Face Time. The wife and daughter have banned me from the store since the Post Office fiasco.  The wife was inside and asking me questions about what to get. So when the butter was gone I was able to get her to buy the Kerrygold! What a score.

Kerrygold is just about the best butter on the market. Imported from Ireland it is as good as it gets. I love it but don't usually buy it because it is pricey. Necessity is the mother fucker of a budget. So we got some Kerrygold and I am in pig shit heaven.

With us being stuck inside I am cooking up a storm. Spaghetti Bolognese. Corn Beef and Cabbage. Swedish Meatballs and noodles in a brown sauce. Chicken Francese. And you know what makes that all taste so much better?

Butter.

I had been holding back on the butter because of our health concerns. But if we are going to die from the Kung Flu we might as well enjoy ourselves. Amirite?

No excuse me while I go out and make an apple pie. With a shit ton of butter.

Dear Tulsi

Dear Tulsi,

I can’t believe that you dropped out of the race and endorsed that senile kid toucher Slow Joe Biden! What’s the matter with you? I thought we shared some ideas and values. You know communism. Ending the wars overseas so we can use the military to control the American Public. Now that nudick Trump is doing it because of this bullshit corona virus. Listen. I have had a virus. I got in Cuba in 1975. So I don’t believe the hype

Please reconsider your endorsement. I can offer you a place in my administration. I can’t offer VP because I have to get a sharvtzer. But maybe you can be Interior Secretary or at the UN. That’s where they stick all the exotic bitches.

Call me.

Your friend,

Bernie

That was a big hole

Doing routine maintenance I notice something.

I didn't post anything for all of 2018. I don't know how that happened. I didn't plan it. I didn't realize it happened.

Hmmm. It reminds me of the rest of my life.

Lost Girl

I was flipping through the streaming services and I came across this independent movie called "Lost Girls" which turned about to be pretty good. I am usually not much for serial killer stories but this one took a different approach.

You see it looked at the Mom of one of the victims. Mari Gilbert is the Mom of three girls one of whom was prostitute who went missing on Long Island. They live in Ellenville New York which is a real upstate shit hole. This show gives one of the best depictions of working class life I have ever seen on film. The way they are on the edge. Working three jobs just to keep things level. How young girls get exploited.

Anyhoo this movie is really well done. The star this actress Amy Ryan who was from "The Office" is really vulnerable. They film her without makeup wrinkles and all. Very impressive star turn.

I was vaguely aware of the case but didn't know the details. The kicker is in the final coda of what happened to Mari Gilbert after the events depicted in the film.

Highly recommended.

Just like my Grandma used to make

So the wife was annoying the piss out of me by listening to De Blasio's press conference. I couldn't take that commie bullshit anymore so I used my usual solution.

I got my headphones and I went on Youtube. I have been searching out new things to cook because I think they are getting tired of my normal recipes.  I had laid in a bunch of chicken and meat and stuff and decide to make a different type of chicken dish. As I went through the site I found a bunch of videos made by this old lady Gina who titles her posts as "An Italian Grandma cooks....." something. In this case it was Chicken Francese.

It is exactly the way my Grandma used to make it. I adapted it a little as I didn't use any wine so my mother-in-law wouldn't bitch. I really pounded the cutlets to make them thin. (not a euphemism) I used my home made chicken stock but I did add a lot of capers. It came out great. They actually both loved it. That almost never happens.

I guess I will be watching a lot of YouTube.

I got your shelter in place right here....

I can't believe that so many people are listening to the panic being spread by the mainstream media and stopping their life. I had to go to the Post Office to bring our on-line sales this week. Of course the wife insisted I wear gloves and a mask. We got the mask from a nurse we met in Stop and Shop earlier in the week. We were talking about it and when she heard about my health status she went to her car and got us masks. So the wife forced me to wear one.

When I got to the desk the half a retard who works there was wearing a mask and gloves too. Of course was touching everything and then rubbing his bald head so I don;t think he protected jack shit.  Still and all the office manager was there. I used to know him when he was a lowly mailman and my office was in Rockville Centre. He goes "Jim I never thought you would be wearing a mask."
I said "Well I know I am going to die because of the corona virus. Not from getting sick but because I am going to get nagged to death."

You see my wife and my mother-in-law are the Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig of naggers. They never stop. This bullshit panic has them going crazy. Then when I posted this to face book my daughter started rage texting me from Florida about not going out. What a fucking mess. Somebody is going to have to pay for destroying our economy for a flu bug that is going to end up being slightly worse than a normal flu season. I just can't believe how people give up their basic civil rights so easily when the government decides to tell them what to do. Don't they know when they give up these rights it is very hard to get them back. Look at what happened after 911. After that mess they passed the Patriot Act where they set up the bogus FISA court and spyed on the phones of most of America. You think they would have cancelled that after what they did to Trump and the people on his campaign. But no they are going to renew it. The only thing stopping them is Senator Ron Paul. I don't know if he can hold the line.

This bogus crisis has tinpot dictators trying to control every aspect of our lives. They are destroying businesses and peoples lives. The cure is a lot worse than the disease.

The Sixto Sense

"Sixto is not happy with the besibol.".
"Sixto really doesn't like Milwaukee. Wisconsin is no muy bueno. Only crazy blond lady who takes pictures of drains and some guy named after a garage. Is not me favorite place."
"I have the new idea. A musical group. We can get funny hats and sing about places where the men congregate. The Navy. The YMCA. The lockerroom."
"It takes a village for these people."

When you have nothing to do all day.....

You spend your time enjoying the classics.

Does Ronan Farrow know that his granny liked to show her cooter?

No wonder he is all fucked up.

The Summer of Boo Boo

Everything started to fall apart in the Summer of Boo Boo. Mother bear began drinking and her gradual descent into sexual degradation as she tried to molest Brother Bear.  Papa Bear started smoking met and gambling away his paycheck. Brother Bear was confused and started stalking brown haired campers. But the worst was Sister Bear.

She started cursing like a sailor. It must have been the atmosphere of unrestrained sex and degradation that drove her to this. Still and all it was weird and off putting.

It got so bad that Google stopped her from posting on her community blog since it meant they would cut off the Google Ads that was Ranger Smith's rice bowl. She didn't want the poor sap to lose money so she had to go back to writing on the bathroom walls.

But that was fine. She kind of preferred it.

(Stan and Jan Berenstain "Son of Boo Boo", The E True Hollywood Story of the Berenstain Bears)

Carl Douglas Kung Flu Fighting

Shut up bitch before I show you some Kung Flu fighting!

Did you see that latest interminable press conference where some liberal cunt was ranting at the God Emperor because he was calling it the Chinese Flu? She lied about dozens of attacks on gooks and chinks because of people being pissed that the entire economy was shut down because mamasan wanted her bat soup in the wet market in Wuhan. This is what they have to worry about..

I will admit that China had one good idea. They threw out all of the liberal media form their country. President Trump should do the same with the Times, the Post and the Networks. Just have science and technology reporters asking relevant questions. Not Democratic talking points. Listen Lincoln did it in a national emergency. If you are going to shut the bars you can at least shut these fucking liberal pie holes.

Why are you over there?

"Why are you hiding over there?"
"I have to watch out. A bunch of chinks have been chasing me. They want to make soup out of me. What's up with that?"
"I don't know that doesn't sound right. Do you have a birds nest under that mask?"
"No. Just a couple of horns. But that's another story."

You want try bat soup Hossaroni?

"You want try my special bat soup Mr. Hoss?"
"It very good for you."
"Many people back in Wuhan love to eat the bat."
"The only thing like to eat bat more than Chinee people is robin."
"But that different show Hossaroni."
"I make for you. Chop chop."

No patty fingers if you please!

Raglan Road

Happy St Patrick's Day!

Happy St Patrick's Day to one and all and anyone visiting the Trooper York blog today. I know all of us are stuck at home because of this bogus coronavirus bullshit. I never thought that the Irish would be such pussies as to cancel the parade but things have gone to shit and there is no coming back. You know they found a snake in Ireland last week. You know they allow abortions there now. So it is all of a piece.

I have made many Paddy's day posts over the years and you can see all of them if you click on the tags. If you delve into the comments you will see a bunch of people who used to comment here but have moved on for one reason or another. Some of them are at Lem's and some have just wandered off somewhere else. Just like a bar.

I used to hang out at bars every day. Catch a lunch at the Quiet Man. Late night dinner at O"Lunney's while Junior from the Soprano's would sing Italian songs. Saturday night at Cousins to listen to Jazz. Hanging at the Last Exit with the younger crowd when I got to be an old bastard. Tons of bars. Tons of drinks. Tons of good times. Tons of crappy ones.

Paddy's Day was always crazy. It was the day when all of the idiots would come out of the wood work and get drunk and make a mess. The best description of Saint Patrick's Day is by that asshole Dennis Leary who said St Patrick's day is when a steroid using apprentice plumber from Long Island wants to kick your ass because you sat on his Jet's jacket. That just about sums it up.

We are spending Paddy's day at home. I made corn beef and cabbage with potatoes and carrots. Not a beer in the house. Still we are relatively healthy and doing the best we can. I hope that youse guys can say the same.

Happy St Patrick's!

Betty Rubble is a Dirty Girl

I don't get in trouble for posting "objectionable content."

Nobody can object to Betty.

Because Betty Rubble is a dirty girl.

Whose those girls?

I don't care if they give me a virus.