Joey Gallo's Lament

We quickly decided to choose up a game of fist ball. There was me, Joey Bags, Sally Shitpants, Louie Nerve and Jacob Golden. Frankie Bags was the captain of the other team. He had Nicky Squirrel, Bobby Big Ass, Johnnie Snot-rocket and Bonnie One Ball. The usual teams.  We split up in groups. Nancy was hanging around as always and we told her to be the scorekeeper. Even though she was slow she was very proud that she could count. So we gave her a piece of chalk and she was busy chalking out a scoreboard with the innings and everything. Just like at the Stadium.

When you choose up sides you did the odd and even finger choose and it always ended up more a less the same. Frankie would never choose his brother Joey because they hated each other. Almost as much as they hated their father who had them working for him all summer. Their old man owned a garbage company and sometimes they would have to fill in on a truck when one of the moolies wouldn’t show up for work which happened all the time. I mean they were kids but they were doing it since they were nine years old. Their old man was a bastard and beat the shit out of them all the time. He only knew garbage so I guess that is what why he treated them like that. Garbage.

You always had to have Louie Nerve and the Johnnie Snot-rocket on separate teams. Louie was always cursing and spitting cause he had the Tourette’s. Johnnie was always eating his snot. I mean the guy was unbelievable. You can see a kid digging out a nugget here and there and chewing on it when you are a baby. You know a little kid. But Johnnie was always up his nostril almost to the elbow. He would pull it out. Inspect it. And chomp down on it like it was his mother’s meatballs. Both of them were so freaking disgusting that you couldn’t keep them on the same side. It upset the balance of the universe or something.

Louie Nerve piped up first as always. “Fuck, shit, piss in your mother’s twat I call leadoff asshole!” “Relax yourself pally” I said. “You can lead off. Joey you are up next than Sally. I will be cleanup and Jake you take up the rear.” “He takes it up the rear, Fuck, ass, tits, cocksucker” Louie shouted. “Piss pants cocksucker.” “Enough already go up Louie before I give you a smack” said Joey Bags in his quiet manner. Joey and Frankie were both big on not letting people be bullies. They got smacked around a lot by people bigger than them so they didn’t like people doing that on the block. In fact most of us did.  We always took the side of the underdogs. Even the underdogs that wore piss stained underwear.

Louie stepped up the manhole cover that was home plate. He bounced the pimple ball a couple of times and threw it up in the air and slugged it down the third base line. It shot passed the Chrysler Newport that was third base on a bounce and rolled onto the sidewalk. Bounced off the stone area gate wall and rolled back on to the street. Nicky Squirrel was playing the outfield and chased it down eventually. He wore these coke bottle glasses that were attached to his head with a strap so they wouldn’t fall off as he was as blind as a bat. The Squirrel finally corralled it and pegged it to Bonnie One Ball at Second Base but Louie Nerve slid under the tag.

“Fuckity fuck you twaty piss cunt fuck I’m safe” Louie spewed curses and salvia indiscriminately. Bonnie just shook her head and her hand to get off the spit. “Fuck you douchebag” said Bonnie. She always gave as good as she got. She was the last of the tomboys who still wanted to play ball in the street. Now that most of us had turned thirteen a lot of stuff had changed. Gina and Angie and Josephine had all stopped playing street games a year or so ago. They dressed different too. No more jeans and t-shirts. Now they wore girlie clothes. But not Bonnie. She still wanted to hang with the boys. She had auburn hair and creamy skin and a shit pot of freckles. Which you couldn’t tell under the boy’s clothes and the thin layer of grime from running around the streets with the rest of us knuckleheads. Bonnie just wandered around with the map of Ireland on her mug. She was another half breed smart mouth like me. Half guinea and half mick. So tough that we called her one ball because it was like she was half a guy. Not for nuthin she didn’t take no shit. Certainly not from the likes of Louie Nerve.

Joey wound up and punched the ball with all his considerable might but popped up to short. Sally hit a grounder that Bobbie Big Ass fielded clean. He tried to tag Louie Nerve but the Nerve swerved and avoided the tag so Bobbie threw to Frankie at first for the second out. So I was up.

Suddenly I heard Nancy calling in her deep retard voice. “Mikey, Mikey why are the policemans here? What’s going on Mikey?” I turned to look and said “I don’t know Nancy let’s go see.” We hadn’t been paying attention as usual when we had a game going so we didn’t see that a cop car had pulled up in from of Jacob’s house. Two patrolmen were walking in the door. It had suddenly become the focus of the block. The old ladies were hanging out the window with a pillow under their arms as they craned their necks to see what was going on. A bunch of little kids on their bikes were in front of the gate as a couple of Moms still wearing their Betty Crocker aprons with flour on their hands were gossiping while they tried to see what was going on. Most of the men had just started to come home from work since it was around five o’clock. In those days everybody worked on Saturday. We were all on thin ice and every nickel counted.

My Da had just turned the corner and he was talking with Nicky’s father as the trudged home from the subway. They were good friends from the Knights of Columbus. My Da still worked at the Irving Trust but he picked up side accounting jobs on the weekend. Nicky’s Dad worked the elevator at A&S downtown cause in those days they had somebody running the elevators none of this push button bullshit. They came up to us as all the kids from the game had clumped up in front of Jacob’s house.

“What’s going on son” asked my Da. “Why is everyone standing around? Is something wrong?” “I don’t know Da but the cops are here and they went into the Golden house. Maybe Jakey should go in to see what is happening?” “I don’t want to do that Mikey” he said “do I have to?” “No you don’t have to do that Jacob. You stay here with us till we get it all sorted out” Da said. “Thanks Mr. K.” My Da looked at Nicky’s Da and he shook his head. It was like they knew something. That something bad had happened and we would find out soon enough. No reason to rush it.

The door finally opened and Patrolman Flynn walked out holding somebody by the arm. Holy shit! It was Little Joe Grimaldi! Joe the Plumber’s son who lived in my building. He was in bracelets and the cops were arresting him! Holy shit on a shingle. What was he doing in the Golden house? Why was he in cuffs? What the fuck?

This shit was going to be good.