Monday, April 27, 2009

Who the hell would want a Eurotard?


So I come into the store and there is a FEDEX package from some company that I never heard of and it's says "FREE SAMPLE" in big letters. That's never good. So I open it up and what is it but a new "shape wear" company that wants to compete with Spanxs. like that's gonna happen.


Now for you dudes that don't know, Spanx are under garments that smooth out a woman so she doesn't have any bumps or bulges that she doesn't want to show. Woman are psycho for Spanx. I have size 2 woman come in without an ounce of fat on them but if I have their size they buy every piece I have in the store. Sometimes ten pairs. So a lot of companies want to compete with Spanx to get a market share. But as the wife likes to say "There's Q-tips and then there are cotton swabs."


Anyway that 's not the important part. They are scrambling to advertise and come up with a brand or a gimic. So what they call it "THE EUROTARD."


I always thought that was Jacques Chirac or Hans Blix or someone like that not a high waisted panty smoother.


It just made me laugh my ass off.

25 comments:

blake said...

Eurotard sounds like something that's gonna end up on Fail Blog.

The Dude said...

Eurotard is redundant.

dr kill said...

I'll need to see some affected camel toe photos before I issue a statement.
Oh, how I hope this garment doesn't cause camel toe extinction. Where is PETA, the Humane Society?

I do like the bra straperator thingie they been selling on the History Channel adverts, though. It makes tits look particularly attractive. Are you selling many of them, or is it always about the camel toe with you?

ChocolateGodzilla said...

Shit better come in some color other than that icky 'flesh' color.
Women I know be looking like a herd of fucking Okapi in that shit.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

ChocolateGodzilla said...

Reminds me of a good joke. The punchline is-

But every time I fart I blow my sneakers off.

Simon said...

blake said...
"Eurotard sounds like something that's gonna end up on Fail Blog."

I'm glad that's a guilty pleasure for someone else besides me!

blake said...

Actually, Simon, never been there. But some people around here are addicted to it.

I do cop to browsing lolcats once, though.

Peter V. Bella said...

A Euroturd!

Jason (the commenter) said...

Isn't this offensive to Europeans?

Peter V. Bella said...

"Isn't this offensive to Europeans?"

You cannot offend offensiveness.

Curtiss said...

Do those things come in black?

Add some black stiletto heels, maybe a riding crop and a nice stiff brimmed military hat.

Somebody stop me.

Jason (the commenter) said...

"Eurotards: Don't you deserve to feel special?"

Jason (the commenter) said...

"Eurotards: As seen in the movie 'Shortbus'"

save_the_rustbelt said...

Worst thing to happen to teenage boys since pantyhose.

Oh, the days of stocking and garter belts (on regular girls, not just hookers).

knox said...

"Eurotard" : officially my new favorite slur.

Bob_R said...

Makes separate bedroom seem intimate.

jeff said...

Oh, that Obama. He's just a empty Eurotard.

Hoosier Daddy said...

Hey, you're talking about Europeans and fashion. These are folks who think Speedos on men are cool.

Jennifer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jennifer said...

Lol. I've always thought Spanx was a dumb name but this is way better.

chickelit said...

@Trooper:

I thought Instapundit linked directly to sources. He just notched down a peg in my eyes. :(

Anonymous said...

Law prof linking to law prof, chickenlittle. Nothing to see here.

Beats law prof voting for law prof, IMHO
Dud

Mambo Bananapatch said...

> Isn't this offensive to Europeans?

Trying to imagine caring less about something than whether Europeans are offended...trying...trying...

...can't.

It's like trying to imagine dividing something by zero, or the vastness of space. Just can't.

Wen said...

Pink!

Bareketh said...

Eurotard is the name of a company that makes dancewear like leotards and unitards. Is that the name of the garment or the name of the company. Maybe they have branched out into shapewear. Still, pretty stupid name if you ask me.