HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Happy New Year!!!

Let's hope it will be happy, healthy and prosperous New Year for all of us.

See you in 2012!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Remembrance of things Pabst

We have been exceptionally busy this week at the store so we had to eat out a couple of times this week. Now I have written before about the difference between hipster dofous joints and the place regular guys go. Don't get me wrong. I will go to the hipster dofous joint to give it a chance. Hey who knows I might be surprised. But I will be willing to give them a chance. So the wife and I decided to go to this new German Joint that opened in the old OTB space on Sackett Street and Court. It is called Buschenchank. What a mistake. It should have been called Buchenwald.

You see most of these hipster cafeterias are the same shit. You are jammed into a space with a whole bunch of people right up your ass and in your business. Buchenwald has all the people "concentrated" in long family style tables. Who the fuck wants to eat family style when you are going out for a quiet dinner with your wife. Shit I don't even like to eat family style when I am with my fucking family. I especially don't want to sit next some Brad Gortesky clone in his skinny jeans talking to some girl who can't figure out if the dude is gay or not. And their conversation! All about how they need to raise taxes on the rich and how their student loans should get forgiven! WHAT THE FUCK!

Anyway the hostess twat wasn't at the front desk so we had to walk all the way to the middle of the joint before she saw us and came over to seat us. She wanted to put us in the middle of two boisterous groups at a long family style table but said no way. So we got one of the high tables along the bar. In the corner next to the window. Which might be ok in the summer when the windows are open but effectively hid us as if we were Charles Bronsen tunneling out of the Stalag. So we sat there for about twenty minutes without anybody acknowledging us or giving us a menu or anything. It wasn't so bad because the wife was texting some work stuff and we were working while I kept trying to get someone's attention. Finally I said fuck this shit and went to find the hostess. She was at the bar eating. I said excuse me can you send over a waitress please. She says sure and calls over this one girl who I noticed was serving half the restaurant. She was the real waitress. You know how that goes.

You see there were a bunch of skinny assholes all dressed in black standing near the pickup window looking confused. They were the pretend waiters. They didn't know what they were doing but the pretended like they were wait staff. They were hired because they were cute or they the owner or something. This German broad was the only one who knew what she was doing. She drops the menus off and I ask for a wine list. Her eyes lit up. She got it then. She had a live one.

You see the Brad Grotesky douche and his vaguely oriental date were sitting next to us. They had split a pizza and ordered one glass of wine each. They nursed them the whole time we were there although they got four bottles of the free tap water. How much do you think those scumbags tipped?

Anyhoo I ordered a bottle of wine. Another disappointment. The most expensive bottle of wine was an off vintage Valpoicelli that is usually a cheaper alternative on a wine list. Here it was the primo selection. But I got it anyway. We ordered appetizers and I put in the main course order as well because who knew how fucking long it would take to get to us. But the Fraulien had the picture. She knew we weren't the usual suspects who nursed one drink and wouldn't order anything. So the food came out right away,

Well the wife's pizza sucked which was surprising since the guy who owns this joint also owns South Brooklyn Pizza and PJ Hanley's and the pizza there is great. But they must be using different guys because the goat cheese pizza with the portabella mushrooms and arugula was not that good. I got the burger. I always get a burger at a new joint. You can always tell what kind of a place it is from the burger. You can go into the worst hole in the wall place but if the burger is great then you know that the rest of the menu might be worth explore. Here the burger was tiny, cooked incorrectly and the cheese that they put on it wasn't enough to cover the postage stamp meat. It totally sucked. What a shithole.

We didn't make a big thing about because how could you do that? It is what it is. I politely called for the check and left a very generous tip. It wasn't the girls fault. But now if any of my pretentious foodie friends want to go to this place I can demur with a clear conscience.

You see I will never go to eat a meal in Buchenwald again.

Even if they gave me a free tattoo.

Cha-cha-cha-changes!

Marilyn's Diary

The Munsters weren't much for bathing. Grandpa always was afraid of the water. So he hadn't taken a shower for about 578 years. He always smelled vaguely of rosewater and Mexican busboys. Aunt Lily was also a vampire so she didn't perspire all that much. She didn't like to be in the water or even the feel of soap on her skin. She would just squirt herself with perfume to cover the smell of the undead. Unfortunately she preferred "Charlie" which really smelled bad. But it made it easy for me to shop for her for Christmas. And of course that little pervert Eddie always smelled of pee.

The only other Munster who liked the water and washing up was Uncle Herman. Well at least he liked washing up with me. I remember the first time he came into the bathroom when I was taking a bath. I was a little scared but I covered myself with bubbles. He reassured me and told me that I shouldn't be frightened. He offered to help me wash my back. He slowly and sensuously rubbed a sponge up and down my back. Starting from my shoulders.....then down my back ....past my shoulder blades.. down over my hips until he got to the slope of my buttocks.....where he tickled me a little as he slipped the sponge into the top of my back crack.....slowly moving it up and down .....until he reached down under the water and started rubbing my sopping wet vagi......errr.....he was very thorough.

I loved bath time with Uncle Herman. He helped my keep clean. It was a shame that we could never come clean. Well at least about our relationship.

You know what I mean?

Titus stick to the loaves or don't the loaves stick to you or something!

Titus said...

Debra Messing is beautiful but no Sarah Jessica Parker though, who i believe is the most beautiful woman in the world. And what a body and an amazing role model for young girls everywhere.

Dude!!!!

Please!!!!!

Example number 1,946,572 why gay guys should not be involved in the fashion business.

Please. Stop the madness.

The Help-ski

When things seem to good to be true....they are too good to be true.

After working for a week our Russki maid had a problem. Now she has been doing a super job. Washing. Cleaning. Dusting. Even working in the store steaming and straightening the clothing on the racks. Everything seemed to be fine. Then the wife got a text.

"I am so sorry Missus but I hurt my toothski and broke my braces and must go to oral sturgeon." I think she means surgeon but whatever. So she couldn't come in to work for the rest of the week. So guess who is washing dishes and vacuuming and what not.

That's rightski.

Natasha gave me the finger.

Stop Messing around beyootch!

Meeting celebrities happens all the time in New York. We used to do it a lot more when I was doing the taxes for bars in Midtown and the wife was managing one of my big clients. We met many Broadway people who had their cast parties at an upstairs room. Also a bunch of movie stars and TV stars who were slumming on Broadway in one show or another. Kevin Spacey. Matthew Broderick (poor bastard), Richard Dreyfus (cheap bastard), Jimmy Smits (cool bastard),Eric Stoltz (red headed bastard) and many more. But the one of the strangest was Debra Messing of Will and Grace fame.

She is in the news today for dumping her husband and shacking up with her TV costar. We met her one night when she was in New York working on a Woody Allen movie. She was sitting at a side table with a bunch of gay guys. Not that there is anything wrong with that! First of all she is one fuckin skinny bitch. I mean really skinny. Biafra skinny. Olive Oil skinny. But she is sitting at the table with a big burger deluxe with fries and onion rings. The funny thing is she wasn't eating anything.

All she would do is take a french fry off the plate.....suck it in her mouth.....and then expelled it without swallowing. I guess sucking stuff without swallowing is an important skill for an actress. But it was very disconcerting to see someone sitting with a plate full of food covered in spit.

Usually you only see that in the kitchen when they were preparing food for people who don't tip.

Chickenlittle will be pleased....as will ChipS

Ellie Mae won her lawsuit. She sued Mattell for making a Ellie Mae barbie and they lost in court and she is gonna get paid. How great is that. The network doesn't control her likeness forever. That makes me very happy because I don't want them to market my action figure. Donna Douglas is a big fave of chickenlittle so I know he will be happy.

And ChipS should be pleased because here is another photo of a hot chick in her sixties.

His 15 minutes is lasting a long time!

MTV has announced that DJPaulie D will have his own spin off series after Jersey Shore is over. He is the first of the knuckleheads to get his own show and who knows it might be a lot better than the original.

Characters often start out in one show and then get their own later and often times it is better and more popular than the original. There is a long list.

"Frazier" was a spin off from "Cheers" and lasted longer and in the end seemed more popular. "The Jeffersons" spun off from "All in the Family" and although it wasn't better or more popular it lasted a long time as a solid top rated show. All of the Law and Order and CSI shows can be called spinoffs of the originals I guess. They are not copies but bring their own unique assets to the point that the stars of the show or the vibe make it more popular and just more fun than the originals. I never watch Law and Order or CSI but I do check out Law and Order SVU and CSI Miami because I prefer the actors and the crazy vibe they have.

So you can prefer a spin off from the original. That's why I think the DJPaulieD show might be good. He spins in Las Vegas and goes on tour with Britney Spears. It might be a lot of fun.

Marilyn's Diary

We were pretty poor when we lived in the Munster's Mansion. That seem weird to say. I mean we lived in a Mansion after all. But that was all old money that was all used up. You see Grandpa made his money in the early days in California. He is 659 years old after all. He used to get money from the Mission Indians so we he wouldn't suck their blood. Or suck something. I don't know but he made a lot of money. But he blew it all so to speak. He had a bunch of fast talking Hollywood friends in the Twenties like Rudy Valentino and Ramon Navarro. And he lost the rest of his money when he hung out with his buddies Sal Mineo and Monty Clift. They just went through money like water.

So all the stuff we had was old. And big. We had a big old car in Munstermobile. A big old dusty cobwebby house. Even a big old radio that they made me take to the beach. Now I don't know why they did because there was no place to plug it in.

Of no one else would come with me to the beach. Grandpa and Aunt Lily were vampires so they couldn't be in the sun. Eddie hated the beach because he was so hairy that little wolf boy. And Uncle Herman always scared everyone. But he would always come with me and carry all my stuff. My beach chair. My umbrella. My big old radio. Uncle Herman was always so good to me.

Then later that night he would come in and show me something big and old that he wanted me to see.

And I had the perfect place to plug it in.

YOU ASK FOR IT AND TROOPER DOES IT!

ChipS said....

And where are the salacious pix of swingin' '60s chicks?I was told this site was full of salacious pix of swingin' '60s chicks

Here are a few of our favorites! Oh and by the way.....whose those girls?

Everybody hates Netflix (and the Gap)!

MSN has a post up about the retailers who give the worst customer satisfaction and Netflix leads the pack with the Gap right behind.

It is pretty funny that people who are getting movies and tv shows mailed to them are pissed off! I remember when there are like seven channels and the only movies you could watch were the Million Dollar Movie or Chiller Theatre. Now you can get every movie in the world for a couple of bucks. And people still complain.

I have been looking to MSN highlights for things to blog about because if I just write about stuff I am interested in we will be all about sports and Marilyn Munster and hot chicks from the sixties I used to wack off to. So I have to branch out a little.

I just think consumers should be a little more humble you know what I mean?

Hell Needs A New PA Announcer

Forcas: Will you be interviewing any new announcers my dread Lord.
Lucifer: Yeah we might as well. Who do we have in the last bus?
Forcas: Well we have several people. We have Soul Singer Dobie Grey. He wasn't really sick. He just sort of drifted away.
Lucifer: Wow I didn't even know he was sick. But music guys never work out. Look at all the problems we had with Janis. She kept trying to blow all of the demons instead of reading the announcements. Who else you got?
Forcas: We have famous mo and rare clumber breeder Alan Sues.
Lucifer: Oh Dude not another Laugh-In douche bag. I hate them. Although I can't wait till Goldie Hawn shows up. I am going to force her to be married. To a Mormon. And seven other sister wives. Remind Moroni to get that together for me. Who else have we got.
Forcas: Well we have a famous film star of the forties and fifties. But I don't think he will work as PA Announcer because......
Lucifer: Hey that's my decision Forcas. You are only an assistant fallen Angel. I make the decisions around here. Bring them in. Jeez I hope it somebody fun like Angela Lansbury or Olivia DeHaviland. The Murder She Wrote shit means she is gonna burn here for all eternity. Shut up and bring them in.
Forcas: Right away Sire!
Cheetah: (slides down the stairwell to hell and tumbles at the feet of Satan and his right hand fallen angel Forcas he pops up and starts walking on his knuckles and beating on his chest) Uggga buggga!!! Uggga buggga!!!
Lucifer: WHAT THE FUCK! A MONKEY! ARE YOU KIDDING ME FORCAS?.
Forcas: No my Dread Lord. He is technically a movie star and he was sent here because the Big Guy hates Chimps. He loves gorillas and orangutans but he hates Chimps. He says they remind him of Judas.
Lucifer: What a bunch of bullshit. I mean I know I invented affirmative action and everything but this is too much. He can't be a PA Announcer.
Cheetah: (He scratches under his arm and then starts masturbating) Ugga buggga! Ugga bugga!
Lucifer: Get him the fuck out of here. I know. Have him go and bang the shit out of Maureen O'Sullivan. There was nothing I can do to make her suffer that could ever compare to having Woody Allen as a son in law. Fucking a monkey that she hated should work.
Forcas: Very well my lord. Who will we have announcing today?
Lucifer: I don't know. How about Dandy Don Meredith. I want to see his face when the Giants beat down his Cowboys this weekend. I love to see people suffer. It's so good to be bad.

Under Pressure!

All I did was watch the Muppets this Christmas. Ten kids. Had to listen to game on the radio.

Talk about being under pressure!

The Help-ski

So I never continued the story of the search for a maid.

First of all one of our friends is incensed that we call her a maid. I don't know why. Isn't that what she is? A housekeeper lives in your house. A maid cleans things and then goes away. A man needs a maid.

Anyway we had to get rid of the Jamaican Mary Poppins after two days. It just didn't work out. We had a bunch of leads from Craig's list and interviewed a new one. She is Russian.

At first I expected a burly Stevlana type but she was a tiny mousy little girl. She came to this country as a student and met someone and got married. She was very eager and wanted the opportunity for a full time job at a good pay rate. The first day wonder of wonders she showed up on time and went right to work. She finished all of her assigned tasks in a brisk and efficient manner. There was only one hiccup.

When we went downstairs the radio was playing and WABC and Rush Limbaugh was on. The wife started yelling at me "What are doing making her to listen to your programs. She is going to quit after one day." Of course I had not put on the radio as the wife likes to blame me for everything. I am still hearing it about Katrina. And the fucking Tsunami Anyway the girl pipes up in her squeaky Russian voice "No missus, I put on radios ....I likeski the politics!" How cowski. Not only does she clean but she is a conservative. She won't break my Cutis Lemay commemorative plates. Score.

But then a potential problem came up. When I came downstairs she had the radio on.

She was listening to NPR.

OH shitski!

Better call in stupid moose and squirrel to check it out!

Why I love TVLand and Real Housewives.

Because the rest of TV is all about serial killers and crime and dismembered bodies. I like fun and laughter and silly women fighting over silly things.

The real world is just too nasty.

Whenever I venture out into news I get stuff like the last story. I hate that.

It is a lot more fun to watch Betty White suck on a weiner.

This story is so terrible I actually wept as I read it.

A nine year old girl was murdered by her babysitter who was a sex offender living in a town of sex offenders. She moved to this trailer park with her mom who was there to take care of her father who was also a convicted sex offender and who knew the murderer from being in jail with him. 15 other sex offenders lived in this trailer park in "almost every other trailer."

This nine year old girl had a lot of physical and mental issues. Imagine what it must have been like for her. And they let these people live. The actually release them from prison so they can do this again and again.

You know who does this? Lawyers. They are the ones who plea bargin down sentances and get the charges reduced. This murderer had a sex record in Indiana where this took place. Just pleaded to lower counts like trespass and assault in places like Florida.

How can this happen? How can the scumbag ambulance chaser who got this guy out live with himself?

I actually couldn't believe this story when I read it. Follow the link to the story if you want, it is just too upsetting to me.
How can they let people like this live?

Patroits great Houston Antwine passes and his wife passes 24 hours later.

Former great defensive end for the Boston Patriots Houston Antwine passed away Monday and his wife Evelyn followed him 24 hours later. They seemed to hold on for each other but couldn't stay apart. You see that a lot with people who really love each other and live to an old age.

Houston was a hell of a defensive player for the Patriots in the old AFL days. I used to love to watch him and Babe Parilli the QB beat on the dog ass Jets who even then were big mouth losers. Houston was an All-AFL player and could really rush the passer. He gave Joe Willie the willies back in the day.

May they both rest in peace.

Dead Wife guy from American Idol gets engaged!

Way to move on there big guy.

After trying to ride a tide of sympathy due to the death of his wife, American Idol douche Danny Gokey announced his engagement to some broad. His wife passed three years ago. Three years ago. He announced the engagement on a website which is dedicated to the memory of his wife. Does he remember his wife? She died three years ago.

Sometimes I don't understand people.

She died three years ago.

But he is from Milwaukee Wisconsin. So there you go.

Bill Maher mocks Tim Tebow!

Yesterday noted douche Bill Maher mocked Denver GB Tim Tebow (shown above with 3 of his biggest fans) when he tweeted the following:

"Wow, Jesus just f***ed #TimTebow bad! And on Xmas Eve! Somewhere ... Satan is tebowing, saying to Hitler "Hey, Buffalo's killing them"

Tim Tebow didn't care. He has bigger things to motorboat...errr bigger and better things to do than to worry what some douchenozzle like Bill Maher has to say. I am not one for Jesus talk in athletes but this guy does take a lot of crap. He is a starting quarterback in the NFL and he has done pretty good this year. He has to realize that some people only can tear you down. They have no other purpose in life. I think Tebow knows that.

What are you rebelling against?

Just sayn'

"The Rebel:"

That's right I am a rebel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got banned again!

I got banned again! At Television Without Pity. They are real little Hitlers over there. I put a very innocuous comment there wishing Kim Richards luck in rehab and made a one line joke: "Did Brandi get Botox in her nipples." The joke being that Brandi of the "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" keeps running around braless with her nipples protruding. So much so that it is mentioned several times on the show. I thought Jokes and Snark were the whole reason that site existed. But they are so concerned with controlling everything they said I was off topic and I was banned.

I think it is a good thing to shed these places that operate like that. It's time to move on to bigger and better things. Like so many people on the Internets- they just don't get it.

If you try to control the dialogue you will end up talking to yourself. Just sayn'

Good riddance to bad rubbish.

I bet you didn't know.....

That President Obama has nominated Chuck Shumer to fertilize Melissa Etheridge's eggs. But they got kinda confused.

It's not their fault. It never is. Just sayn'

Hey we're looking at you!

"Is that a remote control in your pants or are you just happy to see us?"
"Now change the channel back to TVLand before I show you a naked photo of Miss Hataway!"

One Adam 12......see the man ....Jerry Quarry wants to kick the crap out of you!

"Hold it right there. Put you hands behind your back."
"Behind my back. I put up my dukes you lousy coppers."
"Who the hell are you? Jimmy Cagney?"
"I am the guy who will kick your ass there copper."
"Right. Well bend over. I am going to frisk you."
"WHAT THE FUCK! I AM GONNA PULVERISE YOU!!!!!!"

I am jonesing man.....I need a fix!

No "Real Housewives" on Christmas time. All of our favorite shows are in repeats. So we don't get any new episodes and new scandals. Even our regular favorites on Monday like "Mike and Molly" and "Hawaii Five-O" are all repeats. So we are stuck with crap like the Kardashian crapathon and other bullshit.

Check these chicks out. Cynthia Bailey and Wigged Out Kim Zolziack. Man is that shit scary or what?

I can't wait until we get back to normal.

Top 10 Dunks Career Julius Erving

Should I stay or should I go?

Every time we go to Long Island we ride down Atlantic Avenue instead of taking the highway. That is the straight shot instead of a loop de loop. And every time we do that we pass the new Net's stadium. It is going up really quickly and looks like it is going to be done in time for the Nets to be there next year. That leaves me with a problem.

You see I have been a Knick fan for a long time. I had season tickets for twenty years. But they priced me out of the arena as they have done to so many real fans. I have kinda lost touch with the team because I hate the management and the coach. Now a team is coming to a spot about twenty blocks from my house. And the tickets will most likely be cheap. Should I change my team?

Ndspinelli has spoken about how he has been a fan of different teams as he has moved around. A Giant fan when he live in Connecticut and a Chiefs fan when he lived in KC and now he is a front running Packers fan now that he lives in Cheeseland. I can understand you want to change teams when you move. But what do you do when the team moves next door to you?

I don't change that readily. I still have underwear from 1980. I mean I do change them don't get me wrong but I don't throw stuff away so easily. So I guess I will stay a Knick fan but I might check out a few Net's games.

Somebody has to cheer for Kris Humphries.

If you run a Marathon shouldn't somebody give you a drink?

We have been lazy today. Just hanging around watching TV and not doing any work. Everything is closed today. Even "Good Food" so we are having leftovers today. So we are just flipping around and guess what we found? A marathon of "The Kardashians take New York."

It is pretty amazing. As you might know, Kim Kardashian married Kris Humprhies a ball player on the New Jersey Nets. They are all over TV as they have about six tv series about the Kardashians. It is ridiculous. Their wedding was a hour long special that was run over and over again. But what was crazy that they were only married something like 72 days before they announced their divorce. You see the seeds of their divorce in this show. The Hump lives the NBA lifestyle so it was nothing for him to throw a big party in his place. But Kim and her sister freaked out and it caused a big fight.

So they are getting divorced and poor Kris Humphries is getting slaughtered at the game. They were chanting "REGGIE BUSH" in the style that they used to do to Daryl Strawberry. Now Reggie Bush was the football player who used to bang Kim before he wised up and dropped her like a bad habit. When they shopped her twat to the rest of professional sports the best they could come up with was a back up player on the New Jersey Nets.

It's funny. The announcer called Kris "the most hated man in the NBA." Wow. Poor bastard.

I think they should hate that fame whore Kim. Actually calling her a fame whore is wrong. She is just a whore.

Somehow the guy always get the blame.

Don't Cry Little Girl

Don't cry, little girl, don't cry anymore
Someday you'll know
Life always has a reason
And even sadness is worth something

What puts tears on your face
Is the kindness in your heart
And a girl who knows this kindness
Will be a most beautiful, beautiful woman

A star appears
Smiling for you, little one
And a girl who knows this kindness
Will be a most beautiful, beautiful woman

A Christmas story from Michael Haz

Michael Haz said.......

What a beautiful morning! It's sunny, clear and bright where I am. No snow yet, that's unusual, but the day is simply extraordinary, the way Christmas Day should be.

Our Christmas celebrations are over, it will just be the two of us at home today. Christmas isn't usually like that, but we are basking in the joy of the pending birth of our first grandchild, due to arrive later today, or perhaps tomorrow. We'll see.Mer

We're both a little sore today, happily so. We skated in our family's long-traditional Christmas Eve Day ice hockey game yesterday afternoon. There were dozens of family, extended family and other friends on the ice. Count 'em up, divide by two, and there's your teams.

It looked like maybe twenty skaters per team, all on the ice at the same time. There were little kids who were in their league uniforms, high-schoolers, college kind home on vacation, and the rest of us. The rec league players beat the heck out of each other, but were pretty gentle with everyone else.

The game was followed by pot-luck chili, joking, photos, and exchanging gifts with those we won't see today.

Then home for a nap and a half bottle of Advil.

We went to midnight Mass in a old, beautiful church downtown. It was said in Latin, like in the olden days (and the way is should always be said, in my opinion). The choir was strong, the homily magnificent. We were home by 2:00 AM, had a glass of wine and at long last fell asleep.

This morning is quiet. Mary is still asleep and I'm taking time to reflect on the Day, the year, and the value of good friends.

I wish all of you a very blessed and Merry Christmas. May our Lord continue to hold your soul and the souls of those you love safe in his merciful heart.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to all you knuckleheads.

I am busy with the family in Long Island and won't be on the computer all weekend.

I hope you have a very Merry Christmas and that Santa brings you everything you want.

Off to Midnight Mass!

Merry Christmas!

Marilyn's Diary

We always loved Christmas in the Munster Mansion. We would put out all the decorations. Broken Christmas lights. Dead mistletoe and dying holly. We even left out some blood for Zombie Santa. It was one of our favorite Holidays.

I remember my first Christmas with Aunt Lily and Uncle Herman. It was right after my parents had died on a visit to the old country in an unfortunate incident involving some villagers with torches and pitchforks. I was only sixteen and very scared. Aunt Lily was very kind. She took me under her wing. She called her arms wings because could turn into a bat. Grandpa was jolly if a little distant. He kept saying he just wanted to don his gay apparel. Which was strange because it was the same clothes he always wore. But the best was my Uncle Herman.

He was so big and warm and cuddly. He let me sit on his lap and snuggle in my nightie on the night before Christmas when he read me a story. I finally felt so safe and warm in his arms.

He told me that he had a special treat. He told me he had the most wonderfulest candy cane I could lick. But we had to go to my room. I asked him why? He said it was because he had hidden it in his pants.

When we got to his room he took it out. It was big and long and tasted of peppermint and had red stripes on it. But it was green. It was the first time I licked Uncle Herman's candy cane.

I finally felt like part of the family.

Should they be playing with their balls on the day the Baby Jesus was born?

They had an article on MSN today about whether or not they should play sports on Christmas. The columnist Jen Floyd Engel came down firmly on the side that they should not. And I agree.

I had season tickets to the New York Knickerbockers for twenty years and they always had a game on Christmas Day. I remember one year my brother and I went to the game. It was the early game that started at noon so we figured we would be home by three in the afternoon or so. It was against Larry Bird and the Celtics. It went into triple overtime. It was crazy and we didn't get home until about seven o'clock at night. And we were pretty drunk. My mother was pretty pissed since my brother was about 15 at the time. So Christmas games can really mess you up.

The Giants and the Jets play on Christmas Eve on just about the first meaningful regular season game they have ever played against each other. Both have a slim chance at the playoffs that will evaporate if they lose. So they will be going at it tooth and nail. And all those fans have to give up their Christmas Eve dinner to see the game. What a mess.

They should just cancel the games on Christmas. It is just not right.

Don't play with your balls on the day the Baby Jesus was born. It's just not right.

Hey here is a holiday Poll.....you know where you can put it!

Ho, ho, ho you knuckleheads. Here is another annual Christmas time poll.

What is your favorite Holiday movie:

"Miracle on 34th St" which is basically a commercial for Macy's (which is a rip-off store so in the spirit of Christmas you should shop in your small independent boutiques)

"It's A Wonderful Life" which is about the first bank bailout due to mismanagement by liberal dogooders.

"A Christmas Story" which is the story of a kids first gun (that he wants to get before he gets a real one for high school).

"Bad Santa" which has midgets and anal. Need I say more?

"Silent Night Deadly Night" where a crazed homicidal Santa murders slutty coeds in the true spirit of Christmas.

So pick your favorite holiday movie and have some Egg Nog. (Pssssst. Darcy says she has some mistletoe).

Allie's Tales of Nasty Nurses!

Allie said......

Stephen King, Salems's Lot.

Years ago when I was working in Milwaukee County mental Health Complex, the old buildings from 1889 were still standing. They were old , scary and rife with flying cockroaches, despite spraying weekly in the wards.

Each ward was a locked one, the nurse on duty carried a set of keys for 6 wards that she was responsible on her shift, with nursing assistants manning the wards.

The elevators in the buildings were so creaky and rickety, with the iron sliding grates, I never dared using them, so I took the back stairwell. I happened to have been working the graveyard shift while reading Stephen King's The Night Shift.

At this time we had a nurse who was having a mental breakdown and would come to the buildings in the middle of the night, letting herself in with her keys, we were allowed to take home in those days.

I was being paged from ward to ward that night , as it was a full moon (seriously, it seemed they all went completely bonkers during a full moon), so whilst running up and down the back stairwell and being spooked because of the Stephen King book I'd been reading, who do I bump into headlong but the crazy nurse with a crazed look on her face.

I don't know where she went because I ran onto the ward after bumbling with the keys, looking absolutely white with fright, my nurses aides thought I saw a ghost , nope just a crazy nurse, who ended up being a patient herself.

Why I can't get "X"cited about the "X" factor.

I love reality shows. Especially competitive reality shows. American Idol. The Voice. Project Runway. Top Chef. The Next Food Network Star. All of them. But for some reason I couldn't get into the "X" factor.

I saw the first two episodes and sort of lost interest. It was too much like American Idol and I found I really didn't miss Simon Cowell or Paula Abdul. They were back doing their same old shtick and it was really old. I would rather wait until American Idol comes back.

The "X"factor had too much of this mentoring bullshit where the judges push their favorites through. I like it better when the contestants can only fall back on their own resources. That's what makes the game interesting. That is what is going to make the next "Celebrity Apprentice" fascinating. I mean Teresa of the "Real Housewives of New Jersey" is on and she has nothing to fall back on. It is going to be craptastic.

I have only so much tolerance for bad music so I am saving it for the spring. We have the added bonus of the JLo custody fight and the chance that Steven Tyler might fall down again and break his hip. Now that's entertainment!

What's the worst part about Christmas?

Having to watch a bootleg of the "Muppet Movie" with somebody talking in Chinese in the background as all the kids in the family are screaming and running around.

I think this guy shows his sclong in a movie. I hope it's not this one.

Whose that author?

Tim had suggested that we start a new series called whose that author. So can you guess who wrote this:

And you couldn't explain that to your mother and father, who were creatures of the light. No more than you could explain to them how, at the age of three, the spare blanket at the foot of the crib turned into a collection of snakes that lay staring at you with flat and lidless eyes. No child ever conquers those fears, he thought. If a fear cannot be articulated, it can't be conquered. And the fears locked in small brains are much too large to pass through the orifice of the mouth. Sooner or later you found someone to walk past all the deserted meeting houses you had to pass between grinning babyhood and grunting senility. Until tonight. Until tonight when you found out that none of the old fears had been staked— only tucked away in their tiny, child-sized coffins with a wild rose on top

Have Gun Will Travel

Beware.....he waits!

A portal as of shadowy adamant
Stands yawning on the highway of the life
Which we all tread, a cavern huge and gaunt;
Around it rages an unceasing strife
Of shadows, like the restless clouds that haunt
The gap of some cleft mountain, lifted high
Into the whirlwinds of the upper sky.

And many pass it by with careless tread,
Not knowing that a shadowy...
Tracks every traveller
even to where the dead
Wait peacefully for their companion new;
But others, by more curious humour led,
Pause to examine;—these are very few,
And they learn little there, except to know
That shadows follow them where’er they go.

It's the internet fight of the century- a sensation I tell ya!

It is the fight between Brandi Glanville and LeeAnn Rimes! It seems that LeeAnn stole Brandi's husband and has been leading a internet tweet war against her. She is getting a bunch of flying monkees to post nasty comments about Brandi and mocking her all over the place.

You can read all about it in the blog LynnNChicago! She used to have the great blog name "I Hate Jill Zarin" but she decided to move on and write about other stuff. She gets tons of comments and has a lot of fun.

This story has everything. Infidelity. Sex. Hate. Nasty internet behavior. Chicks in thongs. What more could you ask for?

Everything you need to learn about life you can learn from reality television.

Seek the Cougar but fear the Alligator

It was the twilight of the iguana:

From a rainbowing battlement,
a tongue like a javelin
lunging in verdure;
an ant heap treading the jungle,
monastic, on musical feet;
the guanaco, oxygen-fine
in the high places swarthed with distances,
cobbling his feet into gold;
the llama of scrupulous eye
the widens his gaze on the dews
of a delicate world.

A monkey is weaving
a thread of insatiable lusts
on the margins of morning:
he topples a pollen-fall,
startles the violet-flght
of the butterfly, wings on the Muzo.

It was the night of the alligator:
snouts moving out of the slime,
in original darkness, the pullulations,
a clatter of armour, opaque
in the sleep of the bog,
turning back to the chalk of the sources.

The jaguar touches the leaves
with his phosphorous absence,
the puma speeds to his covert
in the blaze of his hungers,
his eyeballs, a jungle of alcohol,
burn in his head.

It's so true!

Actual happiness always looks pretty squalid in comparison with the over-compensations for misery. And, of course, stability isn't nearly so spectacular as instability. And being contented has none of the glamour of a good fight against misfortune, none of the picturesqueness of a struggle with temptation, or a fatal overthrow by passion or doubt. Happiness is never grand.

Whose those girls?

And what was their function?

Or somethng.

They like to keep clean. That's your clue.

Whose those girls?

I don't really understand it but ok if you say so!

ricpic said...

Hey, you gotta post visuals of the Rubens in Aviator Glasses if you're gonna bring up 70 over 30. I get the hots just thinkin' on her....of her.

Whatever floats your boat.

Trump this!

You know I started a whole long post about this thing that is going on with Althouse and Meade after I started to read her post today. I wanted to explain my thoughts and how I see it . You see it seems that her numbers are going down and fewer people are commenting. So to gin up some controversy she put up this post. It served her purpose. She got over 200 comments and counting. That is what she is all about.

I don't want to feed into her plans. Once before I got pissed and stopped contributing to her blog. She had her errand boy put up a comment to lure me and a couple of others back to her comments page. In that thread she called me a pussy and an asshole and a few other choice things. Which is fine with me. She might be right. I was foolish enough to come back there and contribute to her blog. That was a very bad mistake.

I admit that I love to make fun of her pomposity and hubris. It is a big failing of mine. I detest the overinflated egos of the credentialed elite that think they are all that and love to puncture their balloon. I have done it all my life and I don't intend to stop now. I can see how other people such as ndspinelli and EBL are enjoying doing it now. I say enjoy yourself and have fun. But I have gotten tired of it and her.

I want to segue away from this back and forth. Move on to more fun topics like Panda Sex and Charles Bukowski. I know the people who dislike Althouse and what that blog and comment community has become like to come here and vent. I understand it. Some of it is damn funny. But as I have said I am tired of her and her blog and all the stuff that goes with it. I don't want to give her anymore free content. Either by my contributions or by people running back and forth to keep this going.

I don't intend from this day forth to reference that person or that blog in anyway. Any post that can be read as referring to that fouled garden should not be read that way. it refers to something else. I have better things to do and more exciting things happening in my life than jousting back and forth with Meadhouse.

That is the past. It was fun while it lasted but it is getting too boring and lame. I don't want to contribute to her page views and comments. I leave that to people like J, Cedarford,Jeremy and all the rest of her favorites.

So take my name out of your mouth.

I ask that the people who are angry with Althouse take it up with her. She is not allowed in my world anymore. I won't delete you like they will but I prefer that we not discuss her and her consort. They deserve each other. The last few weeks have proved that. I predict an unhappy end to that story. But that is their problem not mine. Let them stew out there in Wisconsin and have a happy life if they can.

You see I was mistaken when I said Althouse is like Nixon. She is like Trump. And like Trump she is going to find out that dyed blond hair, pomposity and a vicious temperament is not enough to put on a show. That blog operated like the Celebrity Apprentice. You see there were a lot of guest stars that people wanted to see. They really weren't there to see Trump. Although he thinks that is why it is popular. His job is only to say you're fired. I didn't give ALtrump that opportunity.

I quit.

Now why don't you just run along and do the same thing.