"Excuse me sir do you have any identification?""Who me? No I am sorry but I do not."
"Well what is your name?"
"That is an interesting question. At one time it was Montana Urban Legend. Then I changed it Ritmo Brazilirio or something like that there. There were a couple of other names when I was confused. But you can call me Ritmo-Reanimated."
"So why are you here?"
"I have a present for my new friend Allie. We have been corresponding lately and I wanted to meet in person. I brought her some bratwurst. And some suppositories. I think they might come in handy."
"Well that's all well and good. Let's see what she has to say shall we?"
48 comments:
Suppositories? Are you getting Ritmo mixed up with Titus? Please please don't tell me Ritmo is a Titus sock puppet, my heart will be broken.
It's not your heart you have to worry about. Just sayn'
Well, our friend's hymen was broken during the Eisenhower administration..by Ike himself, right Allie?
Hey the golf jokes were two days ago dude.
Well, if it's my hymen you are referring to that would make Ike a pedophile, BUT if it's Ritmo you are talking about, I might assume he is a 70 year old lesbian.
J was just scolded by EBL. I feel like a gossipy little weasel snitch, but I know the Trooper would be interested albeit mildly. So, I swallowed my pride w/ some good bourbon.
You ram the sausages down.
You ram the suppositories up.
What is this, German porn?
I thought brats were suppositories. And the ketchup was for ...
I guess that's why I never cared for them.
It's funny that I haven't been to the EBL blog for more than a month but I know everything that is going on between emails and eyewitness comments relating to what is going on.
I hope that the EBL is catching on to what was apparent to sentient beings two months ago.
J is evil and must be banned. He is beyond the pale.
What did he do? Criticize the Amazon portal?
What did he do? Criticize the Amazon portal?
Nope. Accused EBL of taking kickbacks and shilling for big tobacco.
I guess it's ok to threaten other posters, suggest they should be raped...but ....by God ....don't criticize the blog lady.
:-D
That's interesting, nd, but without a link, I'd have to wade through those comments sections. Can you give us a hint? I am curious what the EBL wrote to J, but not that curious.
I really can't read all that crap.
In the EBL-ian context, J isn't as evil as he is here. Over there, he's more like a bay leaf in the stew: Adds some aromatic flavor, but you don't want to bite.
Around here, he's hemlock.
Not to brag (the worst sin among narcissistic blog proprietors), but I've gotten quite good at ignoring comments. I've never read an entire Carol Herman piece, and have finished and attempted to parse maybe a half dozen of J's, before my brain told me it has better things to do. I read maybe ten words of most comments, and if they don't grab me, I'm off to something else.
I highly recommend this practice, as it saves much unnecessary vexation, closely reading all those objectionable comments you can't stand, but feel compelled to finish anyway.
Blog comments aren't spinach or liver, and the internet isn't your mother. You can leave them on the plate. Really. No one makes you gag them down.
And unlike spinach or liver, which actually have prices, blog comments are free.
And their usual quality is a fine reminder that you always get what you pay for.
No..but he did make wacko accusations of EBL getting tobacco money. He also put her on the grassy knoll w/ Elvis and Albert DiSalvo. Just routine J stuff.
That's fine, nd, but WHERE? What thread?
As I say, I don't want to have to wade hip-deep through all that!
Helpless pussy Tim is too dim to even look for himself - think about it, Tiny, you go to EBL's place, look for the thread about corporations, scroll down until you see posts by J, there you go.
Fuckin' lazy ass city slicker.
Tim, The RJ Reynolds 12/1 post.
That whiny cunt is too fucking stupid to look, but is willing to beg others for help, twice. Stupid little bitch.
Thanks, nd. Appreciate it.
Trooper, looks like you have another troll problem.
Pointing out that you are a lazy stupid person does not a troll create. Your comments are hardly literature, Tim.
Isn't it past time for you to stamp your little feet and flounce off again? This place is better without your lame repetitive input.
And by the way, by your own definition, you are irrational.
Actually, that was a pretty mild rebuke. And thanks again, nd, for pointing me in the right direction. I really appreciate it.
But Fen saying that J had been reported to the FBI for tracking ISP's and threatening others seemed to have shut J up.
There are some really strange people out there with too much time on their hands who may need some external control.
OTOH, everyone should have a hobby.
There are, Tim, you are one. Look at what you did - you demanded that others point you to where EBL mildly rebukes J, you tell Trooper there is a troll here, then you claim that "others" have problems. Seriously dude? Are you fucking kidding me? Be a man, not a fucking pussy. Oh, right, if you responded directly to me you would have to break out of your self imposed box of "rational". You are a sad case, Timmy. Sad.
Charming.
All this fighting on a lovely blog post about Ritmo and my burgening love affair, tsk tsk, unseemly.
You are correct, Allie. As you were.
Well, Allie, I, for one, am not fighting.
Nor did I "demand" anything. I politely asked. nd was good enough to help me out, and I politely thanked him.
That's called a "normal" human interaction, Sixty, something with which you seem to be unfamiliar.
But I'm not going to waste my own and other commenters' time trading insults. If you have this sweaty need to read bad things about yourself, I can oblige you. I discovered long ago, however, that accommodating others' fetishes is never a good idea. I recommend hiring a dominatrix in your area if you wish to continue to satisfy your cravings for abuse.
I also refer you to my comment above, recommending the practice of ignoring objectionable content. I, for example, have been scrolling past your comments for years.
Finally, last I noticed, this is Trooper's blog. It is not your place to determine who is or is not welcome. I leave that to Trooper, who has been, I've got to say, very accommodating and friendly to me over the years.
But, having flamed enough already, I don't want to burn the place down. As a result, I think we should both return to that level of unremarked contempt and disdain that has served us both so well in the past.
It is, frankly, an increasingly entertaining spectacle to watch you sputter out of control, which is, if it continues, all the more reason for me to leave even more comments than I have until now.
But I promise to be perfectly polite to everyone and not to take the slightest notice of you.
All this fighting on a lovely blog post about Ritmo and my burgening love affair, tsk tsk, unseemly.
Not so unseemly if you consider Ritmo and Allie going for role of Burgen Lovers, with 60 and TT vying for supporting positions as the Bratwurst and Suppositories.
Suppositories are just dummy. Plus they get everyone's bowels in an uproar.
Just mentioning the EBL gets everyone to fighting like crabs in a bucket. Funny how that works. She is like Satan or something. Just sayn'
That's funny! I am the dummy. I am posting from my wife's iPad and I am not used to it.
It sucks to post from an iPad.
The wife wants me to get one but I don't think this is gonna work.
Who woulda guessed that an Adam-12 post would be so popular and a "Son of Boo Boo" would hardly get any comments.
Even with a naked bear with nice tits!!!!!!!!!
Well, it's winter, Trooper. Naked tits make me feel cold, just looking at them.
Yes but these were furry!
Like a Kardashian or something.
Furry or not, naked tits in winter make me think of painfully hard (and the key word is painfully) nipples. No thanks, dude.
A naked bear with tits cannot hold a candle to an imagined Christmas tree full of them.
Holding a candle to that tree might be the best idea yet.
Hahaha, just realized I spelled burgeoning , burgening! Now that IS hysterical in light of the bratwurst theme, thanks MamaM.
An inflammation of imagination that leads to internal combustion.
Holding a candle to that tree might be the best idea yet.
An inflammation of imagination that leads to internal combustion.
There, fixed that one. The comment had to do with 60's candle, not Allie's burgenity.
I refuse to accept that any hard nipple could be painful in any way shape or form.
Erect hard nipple good.
Even the typos are funny here at Trooper York.
And you'll have plenty of them (typos) from an iPad.
Which still sounds like an incontinence product or a suppository.
Reminds me the old English joke: "Why are Scotsmen like hemorrhoids?" "Dunno." "They're fine if they stay up out of the way, but when they come down, they're a pain in the ass."
I'm less than half Scottish, but it's nice of MamaM to think I could cure pains in the ass as well as be one.
Finally back at the computer.
I can't deal with that Ipad bullshit.
Outstanding! Now maybe you can put up some new content, maybe something less with a less skanky picture this time.
;l
I always post from my iPad, that's my excuse.
What do Eskimos get if they sit on the ice too long? Wait for it...polaroids.
I just want to go on record has having said that regardless of temperature, tits are a welcome sight.
Tim, Prego.
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