Hey Boo-Boo, oh boo-hoo.

It is really grim these days for poor old Yogi Bear. Ever since he divorced Cindy and started living in the bear grotto with those four young bears he has been run ragged. I mean between the drinking and Viagra he had to take every night to get it up he has really fallen apart. Ever since he got that reality show "The Bears Next Door" his life has been a mess. He went off his diet and started eating garbage. No not bad food, actual garbage out of garbage cans.

But now he has hit rock bottom. Holly bear went off and married this gay magician guy and Kendra Bear is getting banged by a Eagle. I always thought she was gay but it seems she likes that interspecies stuff. What a whore. I always forget the other one's names but they seemed to have wandered off too. Now Yogi just sits on the couch and drinks and watches Jerry Springer all day. What a waste. He used to be such an icon.

It sucks getting old.

(Joseph Barbera. The E True Hollywood Story of Yogi Bear)