Laura Bush’s Diary
Well this is a fine kettle of fish. The god damned idiots at major league baseball have released A-Rods name in a steroid report that says he tested positive for steroids in 2003 when was with the Texas Rangers. They had to go and spill the fucking beans. What a mess.
You see W and I always stayed close to the Rangers even after he sold the team. We are always going to the games and hanging around with the team When W first got in office it was a very fucked up time. The twins and I were very unhappy living in Washington with all those phonies so when we had a chance we would go home to enjoy our old pastimes. You know fishing, barbequing, water skiing and working out. One day we were working out with the team and Juan Gonzalez came in with a bottle of this stuff he said would really help us get cut. I was very bored at the time and was really into working out. So me and A-Rod and Pudge Rodriquez all decided to check it out. Man what a rush. I started to be able to lift over 300 lbs. Once I clean and snatched old lady Barbara Bush at a state dinner and she goes about 275. Of course lifting her up like a barbell is the only time the words clean snatch were associated with that old hose bag but that’s another story.
Anyway every week Gonzo would come in and inject us in the butt with the steroids. He might of also injected something else into A-Rod’s butt, at least those were the rumors at the time. Those Latin lover pretty boy types are always a little light in the Zapat0's. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I wasn’t surprised when he started hosing Madonna. You know she likes screwing around with the gay boys. Alex must feel good about that one. He was walking in the foot steps of Babe Ruth. Now he is sliding in the pecker tracks of Carlos Leon.
So now these shitheads are starting a big who-ha about all of this roid stuff. I think I better give A-Rod a call to remind him to keep his mouth shut if he knows what’s good for him. Cause if he spills the beans I will show him some motherfucking shock and awe.
Well this is a fine kettle of fish. The god damned idiots at major league baseball have released A-Rods name in a steroid report that says he tested positive for steroids in 2003 when was with the Texas Rangers. They had to go and spill the fucking beans. What a mess.
You see W and I always stayed close to the Rangers even after he sold the team. We are always going to the games and hanging around with the team When W first got in office it was a very fucked up time. The twins and I were very unhappy living in Washington with all those phonies so when we had a chance we would go home to enjoy our old pastimes. You know fishing, barbequing, water skiing and working out. One day we were working out with the team and Juan Gonzalez came in with a bottle of this stuff he said would really help us get cut. I was very bored at the time and was really into working out. So me and A-Rod and Pudge Rodriquez all decided to check it out. Man what a rush. I started to be able to lift over 300 lbs. Once I clean and snatched old lady Barbara Bush at a state dinner and she goes about 275. Of course lifting her up like a barbell is the only time the words clean snatch were associated with that old hose bag but that’s another story.
Anyway every week Gonzo would come in and inject us in the butt with the steroids. He might of also injected something else into A-Rod’s butt, at least those were the rumors at the time. Those Latin lover pretty boy types are always a little light in the Zapat0's. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I wasn’t surprised when he started hosing Madonna. You know she likes screwing around with the gay boys. Alex must feel good about that one. He was walking in the foot steps of Babe Ruth. Now he is sliding in the pecker tracks of Carlos Leon.
So now these shitheads are starting a big who-ha about all of this roid stuff. I think I better give A-Rod a call to remind him to keep his mouth shut if he knows what’s good for him. Cause if he spills the beans I will show him some motherfucking shock and awe.
6 comments:
LOL.
But aww...Pudge! Love that guy. Hate that he probably did do that stuff.
Why is Laura Bush's head affixed to Madonna's body?
Now that Bud Selig (think Jerry Lundegaard) signed a new $18 million per year contracdt with MLB to be the Commish, there's no doubt ol' Bud will be all over the steroid issue. Soon as he finds out who's been installing all that fake lawn in some stadiums.
We were just tweeting about you, Michael H. Hilarious comments on the presser.
I once dated a female bodybuilder back in my college days. It didn't work out. It was rather emasculating to have sex with a girl who could bench press you from the missionary position.
LOL, Hoosier Daddy.
I need cake.
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