Diamonds are a girls best friend

George M Steinbrenner Field, Tampa Florida Yankee Spring Training

(Derek Jeter and Jorge Posada are soft tossing the ball on the field. Suddenly a very tan young man starts making a commotion in the box seats)
Lance Bass: A-Rod where are you? A-Rod I know you are out there where are you?
Joba Chamberlin: I am sorry sir but Mr. Rodriquez is hurt and had to have an operation. He is recovering at home right now.
Lance Bass: Oh damn him. He is just like all the rest. He will never call. (He turns and runs up the aisle weeping).
Jorge Posada: Hey rookie who was that?
Joba Chamberlin: That was Lance Bass. He was a famous singer when I was a kid.
Jorge Posada: Lance Bass? Isn’t he the guy from New Kids on the Cock? He is some kind of maricon right. What does he want with A-Rod?
Derek Jeter: Hey leave the kid alone. Don’t start that shit again. Who cares what he is into? It’s none of our business. More pussy for me ya know Chico.
Sweeny Murti (WFAN reporter is listening in) Hey Jorge don’t you know what’s happening. Selena Roberts’s book is coming out and she has a lot of stuff about A Rod and guys and stuff. He wasn’t just taking needles in his kesiter.
Jorge Posada: What the fuck? That jerk off was getting Julio in the Coollio? Man fuck this. (He throws his glove on the ground and goes into the clubhouse)
Joba Camberlin: Why is Mr. Posada all upset Mr. Jeter? I mean what is the difference if Mr. Rodriquez is a switch hitter?..
Derek Jeter: Don’t mind him rook. He is just sensitive. In the minor leagues Buck Showalter touched him in the shower and he got all freaked out and stuff. Showalter was always walking around doing shit like that. That’s why they called him Buck Naked Showalter. Now Jorge thinks everyone is checking out his ass when he squats and stuff. He will get over it. Hey Sweeny?
Sweeny Murti: Yeah Derek?
Derek Jeter: Is what you said true? Is this story gonna break. I mean I knew he liked muscle broads and Madonna only likes gay guys but is it true?
Sweeny Murti: Yeah I am afraid it is. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Derek Jeter: Yeah not that there’s anything wrong with that. Like I said more pussy for me. Man it’s gonna be a long season.