Saturday, May 9, 2009

Don't vote for him, vote against the other bear!


Smokey’s only real competition for Mayor of Jellystone was from the most famous resident. Yogi Bear. Now Yogi had a lot of ups and downs. His wife Cindy had left her for that guitar playing douche bag Gentle Ben when he wrote that sappy song “You look Wunderbear Tonight!” Then he spent a lot of time drinking and partying at his grotto with his bevy of bear cuties. At one time he was living with three whores Holly, Bridget and Kendra all at the same time. Now you would think such immorality would preclude him from office but most of the animals didn’t really care. I mean you know how the saying goes “Does a bear shit in the woods?” Well once you let them shit all over the place, who cares about a little three sex with a bunch of hot ursine cooze?
(Rudy Wendelin, Where there’s Smoke, The E True Hollywood Story of Smokey the Bear)

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