Thursday, May 14, 2009

Laura Bush's Diary


Well I see on the news that old Barry has decided that he doesn’t want to release any more of those sexed up photos from Abu Ghraib. He really pissed off all those whores in Code Pinko and Bowel Move On who thought he was going to spread that shit all over the place and embrass W and our administration. But you see I knew he would never release them in a million years.

You see when the rumors first started about the sexual abuse and criminality at Abu Ghraib, well W was furious. For all his good old boy ways, W is a straight shooter. I mean he would shoot you but he won’t abuse you. Unless of course you like that sort of thing. I remember that fuckin’ Sandy Duncan liked to be spanked with a paddle covered in nails while she was tied up with a ball gag in her mouth, that one eyed freak. But that’s another story.

Anyways W wanted to get to the bottom of it but no one would tell him the straight poop. Rumsfeld said it was all lies and Cheney said it was only A-Rabs so who gives a shit. But my George wanted to get to the bottom of it so he knew there was only one thing he could do. He went undercover.

That’s right just like Serpico or Donnie Brasco or one them other FBI wops who joined the mob to get the goods on them. So they dressed him up as Sheik Ali Rahmen Noodle and he was sent into the prison. And they started right in on him.

You see this sick little twist Lynndie England was on him the first day. She tied him up and started to beat him with a riding crop. But you see that only got my W hard. As he was swinging from the ceiling he slowly turned full circle and that perverted little bitch got a gander at the presidential poker in his pants and she gasped. You see W is kinda like Tiger Woods, he is packing a twelve iron if you know what I mean. That Lynndie got down and dirty with him right away. I mean W was only doing it for his country but she was really into it. In fact several of the other woman guards got naked and in a big pile with him. I mean they still tried to torture him. The rubbed menstrual blood on him but he didn’t give a shit, I mean he loves crime scene sex. And then two of them decided to pee on him and stuff calling it their own form of water boarding. Well you see W loves water sports so that only made him harder and he just going and going. You see all of this is on tape with W going and going and all these guards coming and coming. So Barry couldn’t release that tape. I mean all of America would find out what a stud W really is.

Now when W came out of the prison he started all of the investigations and stuff that stopped all that crap from going on. I mean he won’t get any credit for fixing it because the douche bags in the main stream media are so far up Barry O’s ass that they will never publish anything that will make George look good.

Oh and there is another big reason why Barry nipped those photos in the bud. You see Cheney has some photos of an after party with the road cast of the Lion King, Barry, Steadman and Reggie Theus. Let’s just say that it wasn’t only the main stream media that was up Barry O’s ass.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

But the comparison would be bad for the O man. Hee, hee.

8 comments:

ricpic said...

Even in that getup Bush doesn't look Ayrab -- more like a Pennsylvania Dutch Imam.

Anonymous said...

I've started to comment on this a couple of times, but words keep escaping me. Didn't Florence King moonlight, writing for cheap detective erotica publications? Trooper might be able to launch a similar career path, given his gift for riveting storylines, scintillating detail, and provocative casting.

Penny said...

"Pennsylvania Dutch Imam."

You mean like Ali Eli Stolzfus.

Trooper York said...

Windbag, follow the tag for older Laura Bush Diary's. There is one with Barbara Bush and midgets that I am paticularly proud of.

Chennaul said...

OK I admit it-

I happen to LMAO at these but then I am left so speechless that I can't comment..

Which is weird because how in the hell is Troop suppose to gauge his own stuff and I always notice that the LBD's go without comment a lot of the time.

Chennaul said...

You know I ended up in the men's room one time with George H. W. Bush-I was trying to help him out run the Secret Service.

This was about the time he came down with Grave's Disease I think so he might have had a serious case of the Trotskies.

Anyways I am deathly afraid of random male parts so I almost hockey checked him into next week trying to get out of there.

I was trying to hold the doors open for him and ended up in there with him which I didn't realize until I was overwhelmed by scent of urinal cakes.

Anyways I think I heard him laughing as I sped away...exit stage right!

Anonymous said...

Trooper,

I read that one aloud while watching Wizard of Oz and listening to Dark Side of the Moon. It was brilliant.

Penny said...

Count me in with the LOA crowd, Troop.