Tales of Amy's Garden

( A dirty and bedraggled rabbit limps up to the new warren. He is dragging his back leg and is totally exhausted. They bring him to the Captain of the Owsla)
Hyzenthlay: (gasps) Reporting for duty sir!
Bigwig: Hyzenthlay.
Hyzenthlay: Sir?
Bigwig: What happened son.
Hyzenthlay: I have come here to join the warren sir. I claim asylum. I just can't take it anymore.
Bigwig: Why is it that bad?
Hyzenthlay:Yes sir. It has become intolerable. Dangerous. There are a lot of horrible new animals in the garden. It is getting very scary.
Bigwig: Really. What do you mean?
Hyzenthlay: Well it seems that there is a scruffy coyote who is trying to take over the garden. He is always yipping and yapping and chasing all the other animals. He is trying to be all mean and tough but he has dirty fur and some feces stuck to his bottom. You have to wary of him. He has been biting and fighting and trying to destroy their warren. It is beyond what any normal rabbit can abide. I fear he might follow me here.
Bigwig: That’s crazy. But the Owsla will watch for him. We are ever vigilant and we have a few tricks up our sleeve. But what of the Lady that owns the garden. Is she still busy adding to her collection of Paul Masson Wine bottles and fighting with anyone who tries to say that she is not left-handed?
Hyzenthlay: I honestly can't figure out what she thinks. She doesn't scold the coyote at all. She lets him howl and piss all over the garden. Instead she terrorizes poor gentle rabbits who can't say boo without her shouting over them and mocking them to the point that no one will remember what they had to say. Some of them have left and gone away. They don't like how she treats rabbits.
Bigwig: Really. What does her friend the gardener have to say? He at least seemed like a normal person. Is he still taking pictures of all the young nubile squirrels while pretending to care what they have to chirp about?
Hyzenthlay: I don't know what he thinks either. He hasn't had his camera out for a while. He has been doing some work in the garden. At least I think that is his job. That and cooking pancakes and shaving the ladies hobbit feet.
Bigwig: What of the rest of the animals who used to live there? Surely they must protest how the coyote is fouling their home.
Hyzenthlay: Most of the ones you remember are gone. The crusty old badger almost never comes out of his hole. The gay blue jay only sings once in a while. He doesn't even sing about his poop anymore.
Bigwig: Really because he is here all the time singing about his poop and dropping some on all of us. I can't believe the lady in the garden doesn't say something about this.
Hyzenthlay: I don't think she cares. Or understands what is happening. She is just busy adding to her collection of Paul Masson bottles in the front yard. She doesn't care about the garden. At least not enough to pay much attention.
Bigwig: Well that doesn’t sound like much fun. Everyone is very happy here nowadays. That is why I will not be going back to the old garden. Hazel and Fiver and Strawberry and all the rest don't care about the old warren anymore. It is some much more fun here. You are welcome to live with us in peace and happiness.
Hyzenthlay: That wonderful. I feel like I am home.
Bigwig: That is great. Let some of my men help you groom yourself and we will introduce you to some plump young ewes that can't wait to meet a manly rabbit such as yourself. Carry on Hyzenthlay.
Hyzenthlay: Yes sir. Thank you sir. I hope I never see that old warren again.