Whose that girl?

 

She does not appear on American Idol but her music does sometimes.

But nobody can approach her talent.

It makes some of those fruits act strange.

Whose that girl?

Whose that author?

The swirling surf had covered his death, hidden deep in murky darkness his miserable end, as hell opened to receive him.

What if?

They used special effects for what they were really meant to be used for?

What if?

You didn't get a chance to answer a set of knockers?

What if?

Meade posted pictures of when they play dress up.

They have a master and slave thing going on.

What if?

Titus decided to post his encounters on Instagram?

What if?

AllenS decided to keep the parrot and dress up for Valentines Day?

Marilyn's Diary

Aunt Lily tried everything to keep Uncle Herman. She tried different positions. Dressing like a slut. She even agreed to be a swinger.

They went to the Monster Mash and threw the keys to the Munster Mobile up on the table. They ended up coming home with Gomez and Morticia. Aunt Lily told me all about them.

They were very weird. He just wanted to kiss her hand and up her arm. But he never wanted to get it in. But Morticia was a freak. She kept grinding on Uncle Herman and grinding and grinding. He had so many orgasms that he couldn't take it anymore. He finally handed her his detachable penis and turned over to go to sleep.

That's when Aunt Lily knew that it was really over. Even kinky sex couldn't keep him awake.

What could she do to keep him!

The Summer of Boo Boo

The change came over Brother Bear over one summer. He was just a young baby bear. Playing with butterflies. Walking in the woods. Shitting in the woods. And then it all changed.

You see Papa was away most of that summer. He had to fill in for Smokey the Bear who went into rehab. So Mama Bear was all alone. And she was fustrated. We used to lay in bed at night and we would hear the door crack open. Different men would appear and sneak into her room. After a few minutes we would hear the bed springs creak. The bedstead would bang against the wall.  And Mommy would moan and moan and moan.

Sometimes Brother Bear would sneak over to the hole in the wall he had made to spy into her room and pull on himself while he watched.

Many different people came in to have sex with her. Rocky the Flying Squirrel. Deputy Dog. Top Cat. But the worse was when a Dolphin showed up to bang our mother.

When Brother Bear saw Dan Marino give our mother a Dirty Sanchez....well he just lost it.

Stats are for losers.............

Dan Marino is a loser.

I mean he can have every record know to man but he has never won a Super Bowl. Lot's of people have won Super Bowls. Jim Plunkett. Mark Rypien. Doug Williams. But not Super Dan.

Now the news comes out that he has a love child. He got some girl preggers and is supporting his demon seed. Nice.

The sports guys can only yack about the unfortunate comments of the douchy 49er Chris Culliver and Joe Flaco calling someone retarded. They are being denounced left and right all day on the various sports stations. But Marino. No big deal.

The stuff that used to be important means nothing. Faithfulness. Marriage Vows. Integrity.

But say something that is not 100% politically correct and is a Frankenstein movie and they start chasing you with pitchforks.

Downton Arby' s

We are all caught up....

So now I have to wait for the next Downton Abbey like the rest of you peasants.

I guess I will fill the time with Gator Boys and Honey Boo Boo until next week.

I only like that high brow stuff..

Looking a gift in your mouth....

We spent the last couple of days at the New York International Gift Show.

We were picking up accesories and stuff. Candles. Knick Nacks. Stuff like that there.

So I am beat. Again.

A-Rod Must Go...

Again.

This stupid fuck got bagged by an investigation into performance enhancing drugs. The Yankees would love to get out from under his contract but there is no way that is going to happen. It looks like he will be out for the year. How will he perform after being out for a year. Pushing 40. It is enough to make you want to put out a contract on him.

Let's just cut him.

Addition by subtraction.

Suspending disbeilef can only go so far.....

I have a pretty high tolerance for the idiocy of reality shows but "Vanderpump Rules" is testing the outer limits of them every episode.

It is the story of the staff of Sur a restaurant owned by Lisa Vanderpump one of the stars of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It is a real mess. These assholes make the kids on Jersey Shore look like they are performing on Masterpiece Theatre.

The main whore is this girl Stassi Schoeder. Now it is not enough that she is named after the East German secret police but this is her third reality show. So she knows how to stir the shit. The set up is that she is breaking up with her supposed boyfriend of three years. The only problem with this is that they were hired for the show and their history can be traced on Face book. It seem her "boyfriend" Jax is actually gay and had his sex life splashed all over the place. So it is really a big bag of bullshit.

This is one of only reality shows that I am pulling the plug on half way through the season.

Not recommended.

Michael H ticker test!

Michael H informs us that he felt a tingle in his chest and went to the emergency room to check it out. It seems all is well and that is a great relief. You should always get it checked out.

I remember one night in the midst of a pub crawl my friend Vito felt something weird in his heart. So he put down his bacon cheese burger and beer and went to the emergency room on Atlantic Avenue. Everything was fine but we never stopped giving him shit about it.

You see that was in 1985. We weren't thirty yet.

It is a good idea to get checked out.

But one suggestion. Give up rooting for the Packers.

It will be much better for your heart. Just sayn'

I finally figured out why they picked Nicky Minag

 

It seems that American Idol is being sued for being racist.

Imagine that.

ee cummings on Abe Vigoda

if I should sleep with a lady called death
get another man with firmer lips
to take your new mouth in his teeth
(hips pumping pleasure into hips).

Seeing how the limp huddling string
of your smile over his body squirms
kissingly, I will bring you every spring
handfuls of little normal worms.

Dress deftly your flesh in stupid stuffs,
phrase the immense weapon of your hair.
Understanding why his eye laughs,
I will bring you every year

something which is worth the whole,
an inch of nothing for your soul.

We need to get ChipS a new avatar......

Hey I think we need to work on getting everyone new avatars.

I want to incorporate the spirit of their old avatar while putting a new twist on it as it were.

Here is one for ChipS:

We need to get Garage Mahal a new Avatar!

chickelit said...
Garage has no imagination when it comes to avatars which he seems to change as frequently as underwear. If I were he (and I am not he), I would brand myself with the NFL Green Bay "G" logo with maybe an "M" worked into the design like TY so brilliantly did. Or he could use the GM logo from Detroit which might fit better.

Of course youse guys know that Chickie emailed me my TY avatar that I use for the blog and my twitter and all of that there. He could make a great one for garage.

Of course I have a suggestion for Garage's next avatar:

Marilyn's Diary

Most of the later days at the Munster Mansion went by in a blur.

You see when Uncle Herman told us he was leaving to marry Carol Herman we couldn't believe it. Aunt Lily was distraught. Little Cousin Eddie was always crying when he wasn't jerking off into my soiled panties. Grandpa didn't want to come out of his coffin.

But it was the worst for me.

You see he wasn't just leaving Aunt Lily.....he was leaving me. He was my first. He taught me how to make love. He would lend me his detachable penis when he went away in case I got lonely if he was on a road trip. Now he was taking his penis with him. I would be all alone.

The last night that he was at home he snuck into my room at the crack of noon. Since Aunt Lily was a vampire we knew she would be in her coffin. We made love for the last time. We did everything. Missionary. 69. The Rusty Trombone. A Transylvania Steamer. And even the Rusty Trombone. Uncle Herman got so excited that at the climax he whipped around so he could leave me a final pearl necklace. Unfortunately he was so excited that he poked me in both of my eyes with his enormous penis. I couldn't see for a week. All I could do is weep bitter tears through my blurred vision.

The world would never seem so clear and bright to me again.

Even when I stated dating James Franciscus.

Bobby where's my crack at?

Everybody likes to make money off a dead body. Well everybody in Hollywood.

I mean every week I catch that nasty twat Taylor Armstrong using the suicide  of her grifter husband as a rice bowl on the "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills." And now Whitney Houstons Moms is peddling a book to exploit her dead crackhead daughter.

I remember when she first croaked just about a year ago and people were all broken up about it. Now even her Moms is throwing her under the bus.

Hollywood values. Ya gotta love them!

Garage Mahal will be watching the Super Bowl at Lambeau Field!

Garage and the Missues and NDSpinelli and Michael Haz and the rest of the Packers fans will be having a Super Bowl party at Lambeau field to check out the Super Bowl.

When it was all said and done they played one game more than the Giants. Who are still World Champions for another week.

Have fun guys! Stay warm.

What's the wine tonight?

Tonight we are having a delicious Villa Antinori Chianti Classico with dinner tonight.

One tip about your sauce. When you pick the wine to use in the sauce please use a good wine. Remember you are eating it for crying out loud! So maybe crack the first bottle and use a glass to debride the pan while you are sipping and cooking.

I like a dry red for sauce. I think it brings the best flavor. Of course when I cook chicken or fish a nice white works best. To each his own of course. Spinelli will try to preach to you the virtues of muscatel but you should leave that to him on his stakeout.

Oh the menu tonight.

Baked breaded chicken cutlets with fresh mozzarella melted on top.
A salad with fresh red onion, black olives, walnuts, riccota salada cheese and cucumbers.
A lentil and pasta soup with guyere cheese grated on top.
The wine.
Strawberries and blue berries covered in whipped cream for desert.

Hey I like to wine.....just sayn'

chickelit said...
Troop. (or anybody): what about when you start with fruits off the vine? Which tomato species are the best? And how do you get from the whole tomato to what the put in cans?

I sometimes cook with fresh tomatoes in the summer. In Cali you probably have a bigger selection since tomatoes come in all year round. What you need to do is get the skin off. So boil a pot of water and drop the tomato right in. In about a minute or two the skin should be soft so you can peel it right off like you were one of those serial killers in "Criminal Minds" who is skinning a coed. Just take the skin off and put it in your food processor. You don't want to have the skins messing up your sauce as they are hard to chew.

Now you want to pulse it a couple of times. If you just blend it you are in effect getting tomato puree. You want it chunky and country style.

Personally I like Pomi crushed tomatoes. Or even crushed tomatoes already in the can. If you use tomato puree you need to add a small can of tomato paste to thicken it up. One can of paste to every two cans of puree.

I personally only use san marzano whole plum tomato when using cans. Once again you put it in the food processor and pluse it a few time. Or alternately when I go camping I just squeeze them through my fingers and cut up the bigger pieces with a small paring knife. But plusing it a few times works best. You want a big cut where you can see the chunks.


A quick fresh tomato sauce recipe:

Ten ripe plum tomatoes
1 teaspoon sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1/2 glass of red wine
3 Cloves of garlic
1 Large bunch of basil

Mince up the garlic and saute in some olive oil. Drop the plum tomatoes in the boiling water as I said above until you see them start to burst out of their skins. Fish out with your spider and strip off the skin. Be careful because they are hot. A safe way to do it is to put it in a bowl of ice water and it will strip right off without you burning your fingers off. Then put the tomatoes in a food process and pluse it a couple of times to chop it up. NOT TOO MUCH OR YOU GET PUREE!!!!!

Debide the pan with the wine and cook a minute. Then add the tomatoes. Stir in the salt, sugar and pepper. Bring to a soft boil and then simmer. About ten minutes before serving put in a bunch of basil leaves. Of course you washed them you slob! Strip off the leaves without any stems as they can be bitter. Float a bunch of them in the sauce. It will give a nice flavor and it looks nice too!

That will give you a chunky country style sauce.

A couple of serving suggestions:

Crack four eggs into the sauce and cook them sunny side up in the sauce. Serve on a flat dish with a loaf of Italian bread.

Add a cup of rice (cooked of course) and a cup of peas and mush around. That is one of my favorite comfort foods. Think of it as a broken rice ball. So to speak.

Mangia!

If you are gonna cook pasta............

You need to invest in these two vital kitchen tools.

First is the spider. No not the asshole form "Goodfella's" him you shoot in the foot. The spider is a strainer at the end of stick that allows you fish pasta out of the water and drain each cupful individually. It ends the mess and danger of carrying the pot over to the sink to drain in a colander. Here the pasta pot is right next to the sauce pan and you can add it right in. Then their it the large spaghetti fork. Works on the same principle. Fish out a handful of spaghetti and add it directly to a bowl or as I prefer to do add it right into your sauce. If you can cook it al dente you can let it cook a little in the sauce and get all of that flavor working for you! Add on a shitpot full of cheese and you gotz some good eating there paisan!

I use one or the other of these tools every day. Just sayn'

That's a Spicy Sauce!

john said...
Troop (or anyone) -

Do you have a good o'le family spaghetti sauce recipe, preferably one that has few to no cans of tomato whatever than need to be opened? (Tomato paste is OK.)

We've had too many years of kids to remember what it was like NOT to just open a bottle of store-bought sauce.

Any good recipes or suggestions sincerely appreciated.

Ok here goes.


4 cloves of garlic
1 large sweet onion
1 table spoon salt
1 table spoon sugar
1 teaspoon red pepper flakes
2 bay leaves
3 Cans crushed tomatoes
3 glasses of wine.

Ok here's a quick and dirty sauce reciepe. Chop up the galic and fry it in olive oil. Now use just enough oil to thinly coat the frying pan. Use a large pan or even a wok for that matter. When the garlic is soft add a chopped up union. You can put it in the food processor to really mince it up. It will give the sauce body. Keep turning it as it camelizes.

Add one glass of wine to debride the pan. Then continue to drink the other two glasses while you are cooking.

Add the 3 cans of crushed tomatoes. Now my mom used to love to use Tomato puree but I never did. I prefer to use chopped tomatoes because once again it gives it a thicker country style flavor. If it feels too thick you can add a little water or even chicken stock. Just one tip. Try to add something at the same temp as what you are cooking. Don't put ice cold water into the mix as it is bubbling on the stove. Have a side pan of water boiling for the pasta and as it heats you can add a little to the sauce if it seem too thick to you.

Stir in the salt, sugar, pepper and bay leaves for flavor. Now you can leave out the bay leaves and instead substitute some fresh basil leaves. Put some in at the start to cook in the sauce and reserve some to add in at the end. That would make for an even sweeter sauce.

Bring this to a soft boil and then turn it down to a simmer. Let it cook for about a half an hour. Now some people boil their sauce for hours. Overnight. What a bunch of bullshit. You can make a tasty sauce in an hour. The longer simmer is if you are making a meat based sauce to cook the meats in it. Not so much for a quick marinara sauce.

After it has simmered for between 45 minutes and an hour you are ready to cook your pasta. I persoanlly prefer angel hair. Now your pasta should always be al dente. Or hard. You see it will still be cooking while it is in the bowl on the table. So put the pasta in the hot water you have on the stove and cook it from four to six minutes. Then take it out and add it a few strands at a time to your sauce. Stir it around so the pasta is fully coated. Now you can reserve a couple of cups on the side while you do this. Stir in the pasta and then put in a shitload of grated cheese. And if you use Kraft's I will personally come to your house and slap you.
Get a good pecarino or parmesan and add it to the pasta and sauce in the pan. That's why I like to use a wok sometimes. Hey I am a non-traditional cook.  Smush it all around and when you take it out and put it in a bowl. You can add a scoop of the sauce to the top.

Serve with a bottle of wine and some crusty Italian bread.

Mangia!

I am afraid to go to Red Hook now...

and not for the reason you think.

I would love to go to Valentino Park where we filmed part of the show and where we go every so often. It has just about the best view of the Statue of Liberty that you are gonna find on the waterfront.

But I heard it got really messed up during Sandy. And nothing has been done to fix it up.

It's like New Orleans after Katrina. Except the main stream media is covering it up.

It's Spumoni time!

I think I need to head out to L&B Spumoni Gardens for a Sicilian Pie and a nice big bowl of Spumoni for desert.

Nutella pizza for everyone!

Well only you fat bastards.

But if you are stupid enough to let people shame you for being overweight....well then there is more for me!

Off to Marco Polo

For some ravioli.

Or maybe some fettuccine twirled in the Parmesan wheel of cheese.

Or perhaps veal piccata with a side of seasonal vegetables.

I don't know.

I will let it be a surprise.

Panda sex with Charles Bukowski

I laugh sometimes when I think about
say
Céline at a typewriter
or Dostoevsky...
or Hamsun...
or panda.....

ordinary men with feet, ears, eyes,
ordinary men with hair on their heads
sitting there typing words
while having difficulties with life
while being puzzled almost to madness.

Dostoevsky gets up
he leaves the machine to piss,
comes back
drinks a glass of milk and thinks about
the casino and
the roulette wheel.

Céline stops, gets up, walks to the
window, looks out, thinks, my last patient
died today, I won't have to make any more
visits there.
when I saw him last
he paid his doctor bill;
it's those who don't pay their bills,
they live on and on.
Céline walks back, sits down at the
machine
is still for a good two minutes
then begins to type.
a panda at the backdoor.
Hamsun stands over his machine thinking,
I wonder if they are going to believe
all these things I write?
he sits down, begins to type.
he doesn't know what a writer's block
is:
he's a prolific son-of-a-bitch
damn near as magnificent as
the sun.
he types away.

and I laugh
not out loud
but all up and down these walls, these
dirty yellow and blue walls
my white cat asleep on the
table
hiding his eyes from the
light.

he's not alone tonight
and neither am
I.

Did you see Justified last night?

It was way cool. We were out so when I turned it on it was recording on the DVR and went right to the show. It was at the point when they threw Boyd's henchman on to the pool table with half a rattlesnake stuck in his face.

I had to shut it off quick until we could start from the beginning.

Lot's of great plot development with Raylan's fucked up girl and her fighter husband and the Dixie Mafia and of course the snake handling incestous siblings.

Gee that's a lot of stuff to keep track of on one show!

Did you see the great pics.....

That AllenS posted over at TOP in the women in combat thread.

Thank you for your service sir!

(one question though....what happened to the parrot?)

Amazon Prime + Smart TV= Hours of Annoying Gits

So we bought a smart TV which links up to the internet. Now some of it is cool because you can get Pandora to listen to music and download all kinds of stuff on your TV. One of things I found out is that I can download movies and TV from my Amazon Prime Account. But I didn't know what that would mean.

Now we had heard a lot about this "Downtown Abby" show. I thought it was just a reworking of the old "Upstairs Downstairs" bullshit from back in the day. Which it is. But we downloaded the first episode and the wife loved it. So now we have to watch the whole series! Actually all three years of this freaking thing!

So I had to negotiate. For every one of these shows about mincing poofters we have to watch a "Justified" or another superhero movie.

I need to dumb down the smart TV.

You always remeber the first time

The first time I ever went to a Yankee game was in 1964 with my Dad and my best friend and his Dad. My Dad got tickets from somewhere and we were going to the Stadium. And a night game too!

I went out to box ball on the street that morning as I always did during the summer. All the kids went out on Tompkins Place and we played box ball and stick ball and Skelly and Johnnie on the pony and Ringolevio all day long. So as we are playing there suddenly was a big commotion at the Geraci's house. Their house was weird because the never locked the front door to the vestibule. So you could walk right in without a key!

Well this day a bum went into the vestibule and went to sleep. Now we had bums back then, We didn't call them "homeless." They were bums or derelicts and were chased away from business and homes. There weren't all that many of them in our neighborhood because the Norwegian Seaman's church offered rooms for about $1 a day and most of the people who feel on hard times would go there. So if you were on the street it was your choice. There was one guy we all called Rockafella. He was a former longshoreman and had lost his hand. He would get drunk on cheap wine and rant about Rockefeller and the rich bankers and stuff. You know. Sort of like garage mahal. Everybody ignored him or gave he a dime because he was harmless. But nobody knew this guy sleeping in the vestibule.

Now the Geraci's had a big savage German Shepard. That something you don't see much anymore. The breed is not as popular as it used to be. They were replaced by pitt bulls as the savage guard dogs. But in the sixties everybody had a German Shepard if they felt they needed protection. Well Mrs. Geraci let the dog out on this bum and started biting the shit out of him while she was smacking him with a mop handle. He jumped up and staggered away. And that was that. Now if it happened today it would be an international incident and a hate crime and all kind of shit. But now it was all over. Well except for all the new words we learned that day. You see Mrs. Geraci was cursing and screaming and we learned a few new words. Cocksucker. Motherfucker. Spook. Shine. Spade. And of course the N word.

You see the bum was black. He was in the wrong place in Carroll Gardens in 1964. Just sayn'

Anyhoo after all the excitement that morning we all walked down to the Subway to go to the Stadium. I will never forget the view when the Number 4 train burst out of the tunnel into the light and you could see the Stadium and all the people walking on River Avenue. Buying programs and hot dogs and beers. The excitement was almost too much even before we went up to our seats in the Upper Deck. This was the "old" old stadium with all the pillars and posts that blocked your view. Everybody seemed to be dressed up. Wearing white dress shirts and hats. Lots of the men were wearing ties. It was different back then.

So we are sitting there watching the last great Yankee team before they fell of the cliff. There was Mickey Mantle and Tom Tresh and a new young kid called Mel Stottlemyre. And my favorite player Roger Maris. They still had all the old stars and Yogi was the manager. But they weren't playing all that well and the natives were getting restless. I guess they sensed the team was getting too old and the string had run out. Anyway it was an exciting game. As I remember Johnny Blanchard hit two home runs. He was the backup catcher who couldn't catch but had some pop in his bat. It was in the late innings, maybe even the bottom of the ninth. The score was tied and there was a man on base and they decide to pinch hit for Johnny. which was strange but it was a lefty/righty thing. But everybody started booing and I wanted to get into the spirit of thing. I decided I wanted to use one of those new words I had learned that day. So I stood up and squeaked in my loudest voice "Get that Nigger off the Field!"

My father grabbed me and slapped me off the head. I was stunned. What did I do?

Well you see the pinch hitter was catcher Elston Howard. The first black Yankee. And to top it off there were five black guys sitting right behind us. My Dad turned to them and said "The kid doesn't even know what that means. We don't talk like that." And they were cool. Of course today I would have arrested. But it was a simpler time back in 1964. Dare I say a better time.

I always think of this story on opening day. Oh and on Martin Luther King Day. And of course today on Inaugural Day.

You always remember your first time.....

Sixty Grit said...
Not bad, Ricpic, and it's nice to know that someone around here is more superannuated than I am.

First game I saw was a twinight double header at the old Memorial park in Baltimore in 1961 - the Y*nkees were in town, which means I got to see Maris, Mantle and Berra all out on the field. I remember very little about the games themselves, save the towering enormity of fly balls - damn, those things went up and took forever to come down, and every time either Maris or Mantle came to the plate it seemed the entire crowd leaned forward in expectation of a home run. I don't think either of them hit one, but I am going to assume that nonetheless the Y*nks won both games and the Orioles sucked, which is their default position.

I went back to that park a couple of more times, but was glad when Camden Yards was built - that was a much nicer neighborhood. Saw more games in the '80s and '90s, then moved to Durham, where I became a Durham Bulls fan.

Their old place, where Bull Durham was filmed was a fun park to go to - you could literally lean over the railing and talk to the players - they were no more than a couple of feet away. Well, you could talk to them if you spoke Spanish, that is. Haven't been to a game in years - I am over it by now. Got things to do. I am busier than Earl Weaver in a pit, just sayin'...

You always remember your first time......

 

ricpic said...
True story: my introduction to big league ball was at Ebbets Field, Dodgers vs Cards. This was in '53 and I was 9, which tells you that I'm 39 today, but the Cards were of course led by Musial and the Dodgers, well the Dodgers of the early fifties were one of the great teams, period. As usual Musial's bat accounted for all or almost all of the Cardinal runs, a homer with men on and a run scoring double if I remember correctly and in the bottom of the ninth the Cards led 4 - 2. The Dodgers managed to get two men on with two out and then Gil Hodges hit a line drive home run into the left field stands and that was it, a classic come from behind win. I was there with my cousin Michael, a big burly guy who kept screaming in my ear and between that and the general uproar that didn't let up from the start of the game I developed a splitting headache. So that was my introduction to big league at the ballpark baseball, a classic ninth inning come from behind win and a headache

Hell needs a new PA Announcer!

(Lucifer strides into Hell in shorts and a Hawaiian shirt smoking a cigar and scratching his balls. He does that a lot. That's why they call him old sratch)
Lucifer: How the fuck are you  Forcas? Aah who the fuck am I kidding I don't give a shit. I'm back from vacation so let's get to work.

Forcas Did you enjoy your cruise on the River Styx my Dread Lord?

Lucifer: Yeah it was kind of cool. I had Katherine Hepburn there dressed up like she was on the African Queen to french me while we were drifting. Whitney Houston sang and Fred Astaire danced and Lenny Bruce told some jokes. And shot smack. It

was just like the old days.

Forcas: Well we have several new candidates you can choose from. There is a former star of the Odd Couple
Lucifer: What  that basset hound face motherfucker Walter Matthau is finally here? Wait a minute. I thought he was already dead?

Forcas: Yes he is sire, I mean Jack Klugman from the TV show.

Lucifer: Oh that poor simple fuck. I can't torture him. He was married to Brett Summers and that is pain enough for any man. Let him hang out in the semi-famous actor wing with Sal Mineo and Basil Rathbone. I will find something for him to do. Who else have you got.
Forcas: Well we have Charles Durning and Ravi Shanker.
Lucifer: Please not that whining Indian shit! Although I would bang his daughter. I mean I have banged his daughter when I possessed the body of Tommy Mattola. And I hate scenery chewers like During. Send him to the WW2 wing where he will have

to cook rice balls for Japs. Who else you got?

Forcas: Well we have former Baltimore Orioles manager Earl Weaver.
Lucifer: WHAT? HOLY SHIT I LOVE THAT FUCK! SEND HIM DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!!!!
Earl Weaver: (slides down the stairwell to hell and tumbles at the feet of Satan and his right hand fallen angel Forcas , he blearily rolls over as he had crushed the can of Bud and the cigarette he was holding) What the fuck...where am I?
Lucifer: You are in Hell Earl! Welcome. I bet you thought you were in Hell all the times the Yankees beat your sorry ass. I mean you one a few but that was only when I was helping you. You see the Big Guy is a big Yankee fan and I can only pull some shit

when he is not paying attention. That's the only reason why you ever got to win anything.
Earl Weaver: How the fuck did I end up in Hell?

Lucifer: Oh this where all the Orioles and Red Sox and Mets and Detroit Tigers  end up. I am expecting a bunch of California Angels and Arizona Diamondbacks real soon. Can't wait till fucking Randy Johnson gets here. He is really gonna help the team when we play heaven.

Earl Weaver: What you play Heaven in a baseball game?

Lucifer: Oh yeah every year we play the Mayor Bloomberg Trophy Game. Named after one of my favorite mayors. You can coach. John McGraw is the third base coach but Cap Anson is managing. It will be way cool. Forcas escort Earl to the bullpen.
Forcas: Yes Sire. (two burly demons drag Earl away and dump in a pit where is immediately raped by Tom Bullwinkle and Bob Love former Chicago Bulls) I thought you liked him sire.

Lucifer: Oh I do. But this is Hell after all. Let him suffer a little. Hey let me show you some photos of when I went snorkling.

Forcas: (mutters under his breath) Oh yes this is Hell allright.

Lucifer: Did you say something Forcas?

Forcas: I was just saying how much I like you bathing suit. Is that a pinneapple?

Lucifer: Why yes it is.  I love it! Hell is a lot of fun. I am glad I am back!

Whose that girl?

I mean she doesn't speak English but I think she gathered some moss back in the day. Of course she loved doing those working class guys in her music but stuck with rich poofters in real life.

Because that is what is called sucking a fag.

Whose that girl?

The Honey Boo Boo Child

Seriously! Stop that! Be Nice!

Yeah that's the ticket!

Deep thoughts....By Titus

 

Titus said...
I would do all the guys in that photo and maybe even the gals.

tits.

A guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

The bartender says "Get that disgusting dirty bird out of my fucking bar."

The guy goes "Hey what's the big deal that is just my parrot?"

The bartender goes "I was talking to the parrot."

I like a nice short easy post!

ndspinelli said...
Fucking Guidos!!

Whose that girl?

I think it might of been a figment of my imagination but ChipS submitted a candidate for "Whose that Girl."

She might get your Irish up but don't fight it.

Because she might just disappear on youse!

Whose that girl?

ee cummings on Abe Vigoda

Where's Madge then,
Madge and her men?
buried with
Alice in her hair,
(but if you ask the rain
he'll not tell where.)

beauty makes terms
with time and his worms,
when loveliness
says sweetly Yes
to wind and cold;
and how much earth
is Madge worth?
Inquire of the flower that sways in the autumn
she will never guess.
but i know

my heart fell dead before.

Where's Madge then,
I am soaking in it.

To each his own!

Some of us worship Bacchus and some of us worship Nacissus.

It's up to you.

(And no that is not my baby picture spinelli)

Hey who knew that Titus owns the Red Sox!

 Francona rips Red Sox owners in book

NEW YORK (AP)

Theo Epstein traded for Adrian Gonzalez and signed Carl Crawford following pressure from Boston Red Sox owners to build a ''sexy team,'' according to a book co-authored by former Boston Red Sox manager Terry Francona.

Epstein, who left as general manager after the 2011 season to become a Chicago Cubs executive, said Boston owner John Henry, chairman Tom Werner and president Larry Lucchino made the team's image a priority, according to excerpts released Tuesday by Sports Illustrated.

''Francona: The Red Sox Years'' is co-written by the Boston Globe's Dan Shaughnessy and is scheduled for publication by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt on Jan. 22.

''They told us we didn't have any marketable players, that we needed some sizzle,'' Epstein is quoted as saying. ''We need some sexy guys. Talk about the tail wagging the dog. This is like an absurdest comedy. We'd become too big. It was the farthest thing removed from what we set out to be.

"The owners said we had to get players who appealed to women and gays because that was their fan base" said the former Boston GM. "Thank God I only have fat drunken white guys to please these days with Cubs. They are much easier to deal with. Since they are losers they can identify with losers. That's what being a Cubs fan is all about."

Don't you hate to give up stuff you used to like?

I was always a big fan of American Idol. Even when everyone else dumped it I would comment and follow it closely and mock it. It was a lot of fun.

But now I think I have to stop watching. Because of Nicky Minaj.

You see I don't support people who deliberately attack my values. People like Susan Sarrandon, Sean Penn, the BJ Hunnicut guy, Matt Damon and of course Nicky the Cunt Minaj.

Now normally rap stars don't affect my life. They are sort of like NASCAR drivers or bike faggots like Lance Armstrong or washed up septuagenarian dinosaurs like Bob Dylan. Good to mock now and again but who really gives a shit?

Last year or maybe even the year before I was watching some stupid Music Award show. It might have been the Grammy's or the American Music Awards or something. Anyway this bitch has big production number and it was all about attacking the Catholic church. She had an old white guy dressed as a priest and altar boys and she just did disgusting and sacrilegious shit on the stage and her audience just lapped it up and cheered. None of them were offended. Nobody said they shouldn't attack a religion. You can bet your ass if was the Muslims they would have went ape-shit.  But since it was that Catholics it was fine.

Well after that I vowed never to watch another thing the Nicky Minaj was involved in. So I am dropping American Idol and will attack her and the show and everyone associated with it in any way I can. It is just bullshit.

Watch and see. It will not be pretty.

Deep Thoughts......by Titus

I love when Hernandez flexes his muscles. Bristol is so nice.

I want to do Hernandez.

Most of my favorites are Mets. Hernandez. Staub. Alomar. Piazza.

Even Mr. Met is kinka gay!

Let's go Mets!

tits