You see the paddle boat is a little piece of crap that you have to sit in and paddle and it moves across the water. You know what that is? Work!
There were five of us and they only had boats that took two people or four people. So our boat was me and the wife and our granddaughter so they jumped in the front and I got the back. They were busy splashing and thaking photos and turning around and going "Paddle faster Grandpa!"
Listening I was fucking Paddling like freakin Ben Hur for crying out loud!
Now the wind was pushing us farther and farther out off shore. It moved us really fast when we were going out but man it was a bitch coming back in. I never stopped paddling the whole time! We went so far out we were almost out at the ship! They had this lifeguard dude on a jet ski who was policing the kayackers and the wind surfers but he never bothered with us. I was freakin' worried that we would need a tow!
Somehow we managed to get back to shore after about a half hour of serious paddling. I felt like freakin Hillary Clinton. Like I just had a stroke and I had fat ankles!
I need to get to the bar as soon as possible!
2 comments:
Amazing what a current can do to a boat. When I was 9 my folks had an arrangement with a High School principal who owned an Adirondacks style retreat on Lake Placid, the arrangement was for my mom, my sister and me to stay in a guest house on the property for two months! and my dad would come up every second weekend, something like that. All this has nothing to do with the story. Anyway, on one occasion me and my dad took a canoe out on the lake, very calm, no problem. Then, having gone probably less than two and a half miles we turned back into a wind that came up out of nowhere and the epic struggle to get back to our "camp" began. One scallop cape after another and beating past each cape a heroic almost impossible task. Finally after an hour (that felt like forever) of hard paddling...home! Terrific bonding experience but scary at the time.
This is the kind of story that starts the MrM laughing at the first line, because he KNOWS whatever follows is not going to go well or come anywhere close to matching the imagined ideal.
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