Most of the later days at the Munster Mansion went by in a blur.
You see when Uncle Herman told us he was leaving to marry Carol Herman we couldn't believe it. Aunt Lily was distraught. Little Cousin Eddie was always crying when he wasn't jerking off into my soiled panties. Grandpa didn't want to come out of his coffin.
But it was the worst for me.
You see he wasn't just leaving Aunt Lily.....he was leaving me. He was my first. He taught me how to make love. He would lend me his detachable penis when he went away in case I got lonely if he was on a road trip. Now he was taking his penis with him. I would be all alone.
The last night that he was at home he snuck into my room at the crack of noon. Since Aunt Lily was a vampire we knew she would be in her coffin. We made love for the last time. We did everything. Missionary. 69. The Rusty Trombone. A Transylvania Steamer. And even the Rusty Trombone. Uncle Herman got so excited that at the climax he whipped around so he could leave me a final pearl necklace. Unfortunately he was so excited that he poked me in both of my eyes with his enormous penis. I couldn't see for a week. All I could do is weep bitter tears through my blurred vision.
The world would never seem so clear and bright to me again.
Even when I stated dating James Franciscus.
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