Laura Bush’s Diary February 8, 2009
Well George and I were watching the Sunday news programs for shits and giggles and we saw the tape where President Obama is all upset and angry with everyone. He has been president for only ten minutes and he is already pissed off. He is saying that his staff is exhausted and he has just started. What are they going to do when he has been there for a couple of years?
W tried to tell him about the stress that you have as president and that you really had to find some way to release the stress and the pressure. I mean JFK and Clinton used to bang anything that moved to get their minds off the stress. Lyndon Johnson used to drink and pee on Walter Jenkins. Reagan used to shave Peggy Noonan’s cootch. Carter would pray but he was a real fucking weirdo. And W followed in his father’s foot steps in relieving stress by spanking.
You see the best way to get all of that anger and hostility out of your system was to spank someone. You would get them and put them over your knee and wail away on their butt until you got that out of your system. That is where the term “Butt-boy” was first coined. You see Teddy Roosevelt used William Howard Taft as his butt boy. He was particularly good at that since he had an enormous kiester. As a reward, Teddy helped him become President in turn. So George decided to follow in a hallowed Presidential tradition.
His first Butt Boy was Alberto Gonzalez who had also served in that way when W was governor of Texas. He has a big old burrito butt that is perfect to get all of your frustrations out. But after a while that started to pale with repetition. So George farmed him out as Attorney General. Then Condi stepped in and George kind of liked that cause she has a nice Beyonce type bubble butt. You can’t really tell because of the way she dresses. But she really started to get into it and started creaming all over the Oval office rug and I had to put a stop to that. So we made her Secretary of State.
W was at loose ends for a while so to speak until the Beijing Olympics. We figured it out as we were passing around the bong with Michael Phelps. One of the volleyball girls volunteered to be spanked. It seems that's what the Olympic coaches do to discipline the team and she wanted to serve her country. What a great American.
Anyway we passed all of this historical information onto the Obama’s but Michelle wouldn’t hear of it. She seems a little insecure. But I think in time President Osama will find that it is the right thing to do.
I think he has his eye on Biden. That’s a Butt-boy if I ever saw one.
Well George and I were watching the Sunday news programs for shits and giggles and we saw the tape where President Obama is all upset and angry with everyone. He has been president for only ten minutes and he is already pissed off. He is saying that his staff is exhausted and he has just started. What are they going to do when he has been there for a couple of years?
W tried to tell him about the stress that you have as president and that you really had to find some way to release the stress and the pressure. I mean JFK and Clinton used to bang anything that moved to get their minds off the stress. Lyndon Johnson used to drink and pee on Walter Jenkins. Reagan used to shave Peggy Noonan’s cootch. Carter would pray but he was a real fucking weirdo. And W followed in his father’s foot steps in relieving stress by spanking.
You see the best way to get all of that anger and hostility out of your system was to spank someone. You would get them and put them over your knee and wail away on their butt until you got that out of your system. That is where the term “Butt-boy” was first coined. You see Teddy Roosevelt used William Howard Taft as his butt boy. He was particularly good at that since he had an enormous kiester. As a reward, Teddy helped him become President in turn. So George decided to follow in a hallowed Presidential tradition.
His first Butt Boy was Alberto Gonzalez who had also served in that way when W was governor of Texas. He has a big old burrito butt that is perfect to get all of your frustrations out. But after a while that started to pale with repetition. So George farmed him out as Attorney General. Then Condi stepped in and George kind of liked that cause she has a nice Beyonce type bubble butt. You can’t really tell because of the way she dresses. But she really started to get into it and started creaming all over the Oval office rug and I had to put a stop to that. So we made her Secretary of State.
W was at loose ends for a while so to speak until the Beijing Olympics. We figured it out as we were passing around the bong with Michael Phelps. One of the volleyball girls volunteered to be spanked. It seems that's what the Olympic coaches do to discipline the team and she wanted to serve her country. What a great American.
Anyway we passed all of this historical information onto the Obama’s but Michelle wouldn’t hear of it. She seems a little insecure. But I think in time President Osama will find that it is the right thing to do.
I think he has his eye on Biden. That’s a Butt-boy if I ever saw one.
1 comment:
If T.R. put Taft on his knee the chair would collapse...and the portico...and the west wing.
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