Tuesday, March 3, 2009

I ain't a cupcake kinda guy!!!


So the new Celebrity Apprentice is on and I caught it from the recorded dvr instead of a movie on my snow day. It was pretty entertaining. You know the format. Two teams of celebrities have a stupid task that any moron could do but totally baffles them. The teams were initially split into the men vs. the woman. And the Herculean task was to bake cupcakes and sell them for charity.

The woman’s team was lead by demon Joan Rivers who looks like one of those tortured souls you see writhing on the throne of Satan. She leads and army of bimbos and morons who actually win the task. The only one with a brain in her head is this poker playing broad who is of course the least hot except for the devil woman and her demon spawn. Oh and one of the stray Kardashian whores. Not the one with the big ass. One of the other ones.

The men have an allstar line up including Dennis Rodman, Andrew Dice Clay, Scott Hamilton, Tom Green, Clint Black and Herschel Walker. The difference between the two teams is that you have actually know some of these guys. The really funny thing is that the douche bag moron Tom Green actually seems like Albert Einstein next to the rest of these clowns. They perform spectacularly badly doing stuff like forgetting to put the sugar in the cupcakes. Two of them basically refuse to participate. Dennis Rodman refuses to do any work and just goofs off in the truck instead of selling anything. (Insert racial stereotype here). Andrew Dice Clay is loud and obnoxious and tries to manipulate everyone and denies responsibility and pushes the blame on everyone else. (Insert racial stereotype here). The rest of the team of mutants struggle and eventually lose even though Tom Green brings in some big dough and had some smart plans. But nobody listens to him.

The one good moment was when Hershel Walker started to get pissed off and started pointing his finger at Dice and Rodman. Man I would have paid to seem him kick their asses all over the boardroom. That would have been something.

Anyway Dice got the boot so we don’t have to put up with his bullshit anymore. It seems like it could be a fun season. Nothing is better the seeing celebrities humiliated.

Unless they kill them at the end of the episode.

Maybe next year.

12 comments:

Titushadadreamaboutsnakes said...

Do you get to see Dennis Rodman's tits? If so I will watch. If not, no thanks.

I would do Dennis Rodman. He is hot.

ricpic said...

I don't what to make of the Donald. You never see him in the picture with anything but freaks. I mean, I assume the guy has real estate expertise having spent 40 years in the biz. But outside his speciality is he anything special? And is he even that great a real estate guy? I sure don't know. Thoughts?

Trooper York said...

What Donald Trump never told you was that his whole empire was based on a bunch of apartment buildings that his father Fred owned. He leveraged them for loans that he was able to do the construction that he is known for. He always said that the secret is to have the banks be into you for so much money that they would never forclose on you. He was a man a head of his time.

Titushadadreamaboutsnakes said...

I would like to see Dennis Rodman's hog.

That thing looks huge.

Titushadadreamaboutsnakes said...

Madonna had that hog in her cooch. Lucky bitch.

Ralph L said...

You never see him in the picture with anything but freaks
Birds of a feather...

Titus, Rodman's nickname was "the Worm." And you have no taste.

Meade said...

"(Insert racial stereotype here)"

What do you get when you cross a gay Eskimo with Dennis Rodman? A: a snowblower that won't work.

Curtiss said...

What kind of a person would buy a cupcake from Dennis Rodman?

Next week, they're going to sell knishes.

Curtiss said...

Oh, and Trooper that was hilarious. Especially the next to last line.

DaLawGiver said...

OK Troop, I'll watch a little of it just because of your brilliant post.

I would love to see Walker kick some ass. Is he still in shape? He used to have a body like a Greek god on steroids. The Cowboys trading him to the Vikings set the Cowboys up to dominate the 90s. We all love Herschel.

KCFleming said...

Excellent post. I chanced on the show while surfing and landed on a scene with Dice. Ouch, it burns! Had to flee immediately.

Trooper York said...

Hershel is in great shape. He looks like he could still run the football. He has history with Trump because he was in the WFL on Trump's New Jersey team.

My wife was describing the episode and she kept refering to the Hershey bar guy. Now this was about cup cakes and I ask her "What are you talking about." It took me a minute to realize that she thought his name was Hershy Walker. I almost lost my mind. Possibly the best college running back I ever saw and she called him Herschy Walker.

But I got her back. I told her Herschy was Andrew Dice Clays real first name. Hershy Klapovitz.