Sunday, May 3, 2009

Tales of Amy's Garden; Tulip's on your chicken edition.



Fiver: There's something very queer about the warren this evening.
Hazel: Is it dangerous?
Fiver: No this time it’s still very different. It seems like the lady in the cottage is in a very good mood.
Bigwig: Yes she is having a sleep over.
Fiver: Oh really who? That nice student fellow who used to write her all the letters? You know I haven’t seen him recently.
Bigwig: No not him. He has left and gone away. No more letters with the cologne that smells like a dead muskrat.
Hazel: But I don’t understand what is so different? I mean the flower man is always around. I like him a lot. He seems to calm her down. And he really knows his flowers. He is always working. Even late at night. I was hopping by their window and I heard him ask her to put her tulips on this right now baby. He is a real hornyculturalist.
Bigwig: I know. They seem to have a lot of fun together. They love to wrestle on the porch all the time. Naked. Although he always seems to be trying to push her off the porch from behind. Almost every night. I don’t know what that is all about.
Hazel: Well he must be doing it right and she must like it because she keeps yelling Yes, Yes, Yes at the top of her lungs.
Fiver: No wonder the flower man is hanging around here. But what has changed?
Bigwig: Well for one thing they are keeping their clothes on. And they have a visitor. He doesn’t do much but count to himself and take photos. Oh and chase the chickens around the garden. He sometimes leaves off his pants when he does that too.
Hazel: That is strange. But they must like him if he is staying over with them.
Bigwig: Well the lady just likes to hug him.
Hazel: That’s nice. But one thing.
Fiver: What’s that?
Hazel: Let’s keep the baby bunnies away from him. He doesn’t sound right.
Bigwig: I know, he freaks me out man.
Hazel: It’s strange enough here as it is, I just don’t want to take a chance.
(Watership Down, 1972)

8 comments:

blake said...

Hmmm. Something's up at the old Althouse place.

Trooper York said...

Yes a gardener. So to speak. Heh.

Penny said...

THIS is funny, but I wonder who the heck the autistic, potential bunny pedophile might be?

Ruth Anne Adams said...

R you H- HARD of hearIN? Chicken man!

Anonymous said...

There are plenty of people on the internet who adopt a Mr. Spock-like attitude. We've all met them, even in the lady's cottage. Unlike the 'real' Mr. Spock, they are invariably dreary bores, who can neither argue nor entertain.

But it is unusual in the extreme to meet with someone who combines the characteristics of Mr. Spock with those of Mr. Tweedy.

But, please don't be freaked out. Just wish the chickens bon voyage.

blake said...

Mr. Tweedy!!

But I don't want to be a pie!

(I don't like gravy.)

Peter V. Bella said...

Skank. With a capital S-K-A-N-K.

TMink said...

Remember Winehouse before heroin? She had curves and was quite attractive!

I have never liked her voice though.

Trey - who never reads that person's posts anymore having decided he was at least a borderline pervert