Marilyn Diary

My Uncle Herman had a wandering eye.

Well that is not exactly true. They didn't wander. They just kept falling out of his head since they were never put in properly. You hear a lot about German craftsmanship but that is a lot of baloney.

The fact remained that Uncle Herman loved the ladies. He would always turn and admire a well turned ankle. Of course in the sixties everybody was wearing miniskirts so it wasn't just the ankle it was those long California legs that reached right up to a little slice of heaven.

Now Aunt Lily was aware of this. But she expected it since after all she married a monster. I mean Uncle Herman wasn't so bad. Aunt Lily used to date the Wolfman he was always going around smelling other peoples butts. In fact they stayed close and I always thought there was a chance that Cousin Eddie was really his son. The little pervert. It all fit with his obsession with soiled underwear.

So anytime Uncle Herman was out Aunt Lily kept pretty close tabs on him. I remember when he hit on one of the cheerleaders at my school right in front of her. Aunt Lilly nipped that in the bud.

Then when we got home Uncle Herman snuck into my room and nipped me right in my butt.

All night long. I was so sore I couldn't go to school for a week. But I didn't care.

You see I loved my Uncle Herman.