Laura Bush's Diary

Well today is Valentines Day and that rascal W has a busy night all planned out. We are going out for dinner in the colonial themed restaurant in Dallas. They serve old style American cuisine prepared in much the same way as our forefathers did. They have bison and wild turkey and trout and other game on the menu. Then we are going to karaoke night at the roadhouse and knock back some Lone Stars with some chicken wings like we used too. Well at least I will as W is on the wagon and will be doing club soda. But that doesn't slow down that little dickens. And let me tell you he ain't no "little" dickens. It was always really funny to me when all those Kos kids kept saying W was just a big dick. If they only knew those hairy whores would shave and wash up and put on some deodorant and line up for some good old fashioned Texas plowing.

Then we will ride back to ranch in the convertable hooting and hollering and throwing cans out of the car at all the fuckin Obama signs in the front yards. It's really funny that all of these cowboys that wouldn't drag BarryO behind their pickup are now all for him so they can suck on that government tit.

Once we get back to the ranch it's time for our dress up. W wants to dress up as a general. He loves to dress like a general. He has a Patton outfit and a Napoleon outfit and a General Lee outfit. I think he said he was gonna wear his George Washington outfit. It comes complete with the wooden teeth. Hopefully that won't be the only wood he is packing.

I had to make him throw away his General Meade outfit though. Whenever he wore that he was a wild man. He would put on that bushy beard and insist on doing it with his hat on. And he would insist on wanting to explode right in the Crater. Pushing right on in no matter how much it hurt. W is usually very gentle but when he puts on that Union army outfit he just loses it. I am just sorry that General Meade is his favorite Union Army general. Now if he was only a Grant fan he would just get drunk and not be able to get it up. Of course he won't do that now. That was how he spent the eighties.

Anyway it's General Washington tonight. He can not tell a lie. He is just gonna chop away at the cherry tree. So to speak.