We had a weird time in church today. As many of you might know you tend to sit in the same place every week. Most people gravitate to the place they are most comfortable. Some go for the front rows and some people hide out in the back. Other people like to sit on the side where the pillars block the view from the altar so the priest can't see if they are falling asleep.
Then there is the issue of going to communion. You have to left up the kneeling thing and walk through the row to get to the center row of the church to go to communion. We sit on the outside of the pew so if the people who are closer to the center don't go to communion it can be awkward squeezing by them especially if they are really old. Or if they have kids. So you want to pick a row where you can get easy access to the center. Also you don't want to sit in the row with the heating vents because that will put you right to sleep. And you don't want to be right up on top of a noisy family with screeching kids although they mostly sit in the back.
So a lot kind of goes into that split second where you pick what pew to sit in. Today we get our favorite spot, with the people next to us who also go to communion and two rows in front of the noisy kid who comes with his grandma who can't control him. But then a funny thing happens. This older dude comes and sits two rows in front of us. Nothing special about that right. Well the funny thing was he had that string thing you tie around your glasses so they can hang down and then you can just put them on your face when you need to but you don't have to wear them all the time. Well he had the glasses on and had the string tied really really tight. I mean you can see it being indented into his skin. I mean he was dressed like a regular fifty year old guy, why does he have his glasses tied to his head like he was riding the bus with his sister. I was nonplussed, staring at that the whole mass. Then he turns around for the handshake at the Sign of Peace. He has coke bottle glasses. Extreme coke bottle glasses. So I guess he just can't see. It just struck me as very strange.
21 comments:
I only go to mass when they bless the animals. I always go to this mass. My rare clumbers are very religious.
Last year, true story, I was next to a lady with a camel...in NYC.
So...what was the sermon about?
Heh.
Maybe he'd seen that Twilight Zone episode with Burgess and the nuclear blast a few too many times.
Titus, were you and the camel sitting next to the lady, or did the lady simply own a camel who was absent?
The sermon was about baseball actually, about free agent contracts and how going to church is not like being a free agent. You don't sign a contract. Father Cashman is a big baseball fan.
When we leaving I asked when he was going to do the sermon about
A-Rod and the thirty pieces of silver.
What a coincidence. I was in church this morning, and I could feel someone's eyes burning into the back of my head. I turned around to see who was staring me down, but couldn't make out who it might be, since I wear really thick, coke-bottle glasses.
Sorry about that dandruff problem Windbag, but Head and Shoulders works pretty good.
The interesting thing about our parish is that it is growing. Lots of family's with kids. The main reason for that is that Father Cashman doesn't get all bent out of shape if the kids make nosie. Not like when I was a kid. So they sort of toddle up the aisle while the mass is going on. He says that's fine because they want to see what is going on. Usually the dads are right behind them and herd them back the other way after they get to the front of the church. Of course they do that in the side aisle not the center of the church so it is not really that disruptive. The back of the church is actually set up to accomidate the strollers. So the congregation is growing with young families which is great.
Well, I was going to say the obvious and comment that these are the thoughts that occupy you in Church? But obviously you took note of the sermon so so much for that.
My strongest memory of temple was that instead of the rather quiet and low key passing of the collection plate in church, the highpoint, literally the high point of Rosh Hashanah (New Year) services was the public announcement by the rabbi of who was giving to the temple and how much they were giving! The embarrassment! To me at least. It would be: "Thank you Doctor Goldstein for your generous gift of $3,000" followed immediately by "Thank you Mr. Fishbine for your gift of $50. And it went on like that for the better part of an hour. To a kid that was an eternity. Still makes me cringe thinking about it.
No wonder so many Jews turn into leftists out of sheer revulsion with the humiliation of the Mr. Fishbines.
The homily at my son's Catholic school church, where I go most Sundays, was delivered by a Jesuit with a PhD. What with the Gregorian chant introit in Latin, not to mention the Agnus Dei, this place does not naturally lend itself to homilies about sports.
No baseball for our Weston Theological Seminary theologian. What he did talk about was how all the distractions, such as computers, iPods, cell phones, electronic games, etc., that we surround ourselves with, sidetrack us from our Lenten journey to get closer to God.
I thought during Mass that was a great point, and one that I've felt in myself for a long time.
So, what am I doing? Writing blog comments and feeling increasingly bad about my life, spiritual and otherwise.
As a result, I've resolved to swear off blogging, tweeting, commenting, etc. for Lent.
I may make one or two wrap-ups, but, otherwise, I'll see you all after Easter.
Bye for now.
Theo! Nooooo!!!
You're being selfish!
Sure, you might find God while you're away but what are we supposed to do in your absence?!?
Hey I am giving up busting Mort's balls for Lent.
blake must find a quiet place to contemplate his navel, so that, with rested brain,
when Boehm returns to understand Boehm's esoterica
blake will be able.
I was raised heathen. I learned about Jesus from the Charlie Brown Christmas special, when I was about... 12?
Theo that is a wonderful way to celebrate Lent. To limit your posts. Hey do you have Lem's email?
See you after Easter.
if blake, in despair, needs to grapple with the incomprehensible,
there will always be rh dishing the daily impenetrable.
'All compounded things decay. Work out your own salvation with diligence'.
There was no sitting for the animal mass. We were all outside wondering around waiting for our animals to be blessed.
I wasn't actually sitting next to a camel.
Trooper, I have an e-mail address for Lem (not sure it's still good). I've e-mail it to you.
like he was riding the bus with his sister
LOL! This is one of my favorite things on the internet. The comments are priceless.
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