Forcas: Will you be interviewing any new announcers my dread Lord.
Lucifer: Yeah we might as well. Who do we have in the last bus?
Forcas: Well we have several people that will be coming in. We have a young black kid in a hoodie. Well actually we have thirty six black youte in a hoodie. You can take your pick.
Lucifer: Nah, They are boring. Plus they can't read and that won't work for a PA Announcer. Hey is Vin Scully here yet.
Forcas: Not yet but soon. Very soon. We do have a famous artist named Kinkdude or something. He sold his soul to you some time ago and is here for you to collect.
Lucifer: Jeeeesssussss. Not a fuckin pretentious Artiste dude. I can't stand those guys. Why do you think I have Andy Warhol having sex all day with Elizabeth Taylor and Eleanor Roosevelt. I can't torture those artsy fartsy fuckers enough for my taste. Who else you got?
Forcas: Well we have noted communist commenter and patron of the Grecian Formula and former host of the Millionaire Mike Wallace..
Lucifer: Holy Shit. Finally! I have been waiting for this commie fuck for the longest fuckin time. Shove him right in Forcas.
Forcas: Right away Sire!
Mike Wallace: (slides down the stairwell to hell and tumbles at the feet of Satan and his right hand fallen angel Forcas, he groans and rubs his fingers through his hair, which turns black with all the Grecian Formula he has soaked it in) What’s going on here? One minute I was walking to a bright light and met a man in a robe with a clipboard and the next thing I know a trap door opens and I am roasting my tootsies off. Don’t you know who I am?
Lucifer: Yeah. I know who you are asshole. You are one of the architects of the mainstream medias conspiracy to do my work on earth. You are evil. You are a liar. You are a cheat. You did my work every day of your professional life. You are a journalist. You are Mike Wallace the biggest douche bag of them all. Welcome to Hell sucker!
Mike Wallace: Wait a minute! This can't be right. I was on the side of angels. I am a journalist. One of the most admired and imitated of all the journalists who ever lived. How the Hell could I wind up in Hell?
Lucifer: It's quite simple you commie asshole. You were on the side of the Angels. The Fallen Angels. Everything you did was my handiwork. You betrayed your country and your fellow Americans. You destroyed lives. You always attacked businessmen and church going Americans to benefit your corrupt liberal agenda. Well actually my agenda. I love to work through liberals You are all such hypocrites that it is easy to manipulate you. Plus you couldn't even order take out meat loaf without getting in the paper for being a cheap douche. You are not even get a chance to try out for PA announcer. FORCAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Forcas: Yes Sire. (Two burley demons grab Mike Wallace and drag him away as he protests feebly that he is a serious journalist who can't be treated this way)
Lucifer: What a maroon. Foras send him to the Wallace wing. He can join William Wallace, Wallace Shawn, George Wallace and Wally Cox as they all take turns blowing Marlon Brando. The fat Marlon Brando who can't get it up. That will teach him.
Forcas: Very well my lord. Who will we have announcing today?
Lucifer: I don't know. Let's get Red Barber out there. He can stand in till Scully comes in. Then it won't be first time he loses his job to him. Oh and make sure Walter O'Malley is there. Barber can stand on his balls while he is announcing. It feels so good to be bad.
Lucifer: Yeah we might as well. Who do we have in the last bus?
Forcas: Well we have several people that will be coming in. We have a young black kid in a hoodie. Well actually we have thirty six black youte in a hoodie. You can take your pick.
Lucifer: Nah, They are boring. Plus they can't read and that won't work for a PA Announcer. Hey is Vin Scully here yet.
Forcas: Not yet but soon. Very soon. We do have a famous artist named Kinkdude or something. He sold his soul to you some time ago and is here for you to collect.
Lucifer: Jeeeesssussss. Not a fuckin pretentious Artiste dude. I can't stand those guys. Why do you think I have Andy Warhol having sex all day with Elizabeth Taylor and Eleanor Roosevelt. I can't torture those artsy fartsy fuckers enough for my taste. Who else you got?
Forcas: Well we have noted communist commenter and patron of the Grecian Formula and former host of the Millionaire Mike Wallace..
Lucifer: Holy Shit. Finally! I have been waiting for this commie fuck for the longest fuckin time. Shove him right in Forcas.
Forcas: Right away Sire!
Mike Wallace: (slides down the stairwell to hell and tumbles at the feet of Satan and his right hand fallen angel Forcas, he groans and rubs his fingers through his hair, which turns black with all the Grecian Formula he has soaked it in) What’s going on here? One minute I was walking to a bright light and met a man in a robe with a clipboard and the next thing I know a trap door opens and I am roasting my tootsies off. Don’t you know who I am?
Lucifer: Yeah. I know who you are asshole. You are one of the architects of the mainstream medias conspiracy to do my work on earth. You are evil. You are a liar. You are a cheat. You did my work every day of your professional life. You are a journalist. You are Mike Wallace the biggest douche bag of them all. Welcome to Hell sucker!
Mike Wallace: Wait a minute! This can't be right. I was on the side of angels. I am a journalist. One of the most admired and imitated of all the journalists who ever lived. How the Hell could I wind up in Hell?
Lucifer: It's quite simple you commie asshole. You were on the side of the Angels. The Fallen Angels. Everything you did was my handiwork. You betrayed your country and your fellow Americans. You destroyed lives. You always attacked businessmen and church going Americans to benefit your corrupt liberal agenda. Well actually my agenda. I love to work through liberals You are all such hypocrites that it is easy to manipulate you. Plus you couldn't even order take out meat loaf without getting in the paper for being a cheap douche. You are not even get a chance to try out for PA announcer. FORCAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Forcas: Yes Sire. (Two burley demons grab Mike Wallace and drag him away as he protests feebly that he is a serious journalist who can't be treated this way)
Lucifer: What a maroon. Foras send him to the Wallace wing. He can join William Wallace, Wallace Shawn, George Wallace and Wally Cox as they all take turns blowing Marlon Brando. The fat Marlon Brando who can't get it up. That will teach him.
Forcas: Very well my lord. Who will we have announcing today?
Lucifer: I don't know. Let's get Red Barber out there. He can stand in till Scully comes in. Then it won't be first time he loses his job to him. Oh and make sure Walter O'Malley is there. Barber can stand on his balls while he is announcing. It feels so good to be bad.
18 comments:
That pose reminds me of Donald Trump.
Isn't Wallace Shawn still alive?
I found this posting very homo erotic yet very homophobic.
tits.
Excellent post, although blowing Brando wouldn't be hell for Wally Cox.
Blowing fat impotent Brando would.
Not that there is anything wrong with that.
I also find this posting anti jew.
tits and hogs.
Tim McCarver goes to Grecian Formula hell when he dies. And, it will be double hell for all the folks down there when Tim makes the same inane observation over and over and over and over and over again.
How did he end up with a conservative son? Oh well I guess it happens even in the best of families, one of my daughters is a conservative :)
Allie, If you watch and listen to Chris Wallace w/ an open mind you will see he is one of the straightest, most professional journalists on tv. Fox has their hacks as do the other networks. But Chris Wallace isn't one of them. His old man was a commie hack, but we should not have children pay for their parents sins.
Seriously, have you seen Wallace interview Republicans? You can tell if a reporter is straight if he challenges all people. Dems are used to softball, batting practice pitches and they don't get them from Wallace, but neither do Repubs.
Allie, I'm an independent and a keen observor of human behavior..that was/is my biz. Make up your own mind on Wallace, but don't be spun. Don't trust me if you think I'm spinning you. ALWAYS think for yourself. I know you are capable of that, unlike many idealogues on both sides.
Actually Nick, you are right, Chris Wallace doesn't cut conservatives on his program any slack either. I like watching his Sunday AM show.
Lucifer: Wallace, you're blacklisted, no heaven for you!
Wallace: McCarthyite!
When Chickenlittle returns, ask him how Bissage is.
Did they go down on the Titanic? Or with?
Chickie told us he was going to Vegas for a little while and would be away from the computer.
It is always good to take a break now and then. It helps you recharge and come back with some stores to tell.
I would think CL would be all over the Titanic this week, even if he had to get the hotel to rent him a computer to do a post or two.
Sixty, why are you being all bitchy to me again? I have no idea why you go off on me occasionally, other than your speciesism and bovineaphobia.
I bet Chickie is at some Titanic party somewhere dressed as a German immigrant in steerage.
I hope he survives!
I would think he would be this guy...
Chickie's a lot of things, but draftsman is not one of them.
troop: this cries out for yet another Hitler video
Wallace Shawn is still alive, and at least as big a commie Mike Wallace.
I hope George Henry Wallace doesn't end up there. He's funny.
Post a Comment