Idol is back in town, well Frisco if you can call it a town and not a steaming lump of crap.

Thank God for the Idol. I couldn’t watch anymore political bullshit and the never ending overwhelming coverage. Enough already.

First up is Tatiana Nicole Del Toro who is wearing an exact replica of Michele Obama’s ball gown. How the hell did they know what she was going to wear? And it is a bold move to flash the cootch. She has the deranged laugh of the kind of girl you would meet in an airport bar and buy a drink for and everything seemed normal, until she started to laugh. You know like reader_iam. She can’t really sing but they pass her through as cannon fodder to be out in the group sings. Yikes that’s a bad start.

Then we have this weird guy who makes weird noises and he just seems really weird for some reason. I think I just set the record for using weird. Well except for anybody describing a night out with Althouse but that’s another story.

A sixteen year old Asian chick is up next and Simon busts on her clothes. Man that was the best thing she had going for her. If ricpic were here he would say no tickee, no shirtee. But I think we can all agree she should keep on her shirty. Please.

Then we have the Jerk-off with the Amazing Technicolor Dream coat. Man that coat looks like the couch covering in the Salivation Army waiting room. You know the one too crappy for them to try to sell. Can’t sing, can’t talk and makes a joke about the carpet matching the drapes. Dude, too much information.

Next up is Fernando Valenzuela illegitimate son Jesus. Just so you know. Jesus is not the answer. Unless the question is who has a good future as a pimp. The dude pimps out his kids who come in with signs and attitude and get the girls to take him because the kids give them a warm feeling in their childless barren cootches. I’m talking about you Randy you pussy.

This Rubik’s cube dude comes on and he must be the illegitimate son of RH Hardin and a Pilipino chicken cause that’s what the guy sounds like. Someone choking a chicken. He tries Smokey Robinson and man he is just horrible. Thank God he doesn’t have any kids.

Then a big dude pouring his heart out to Paula and she looks all embarrassed. Do you remember those old borsht belt comedians who would hold up their hand to stop the applause while signaling for more with the other hand? Well Paula remembers them too.

This skinny Irish dorky girl comes in says she can scat. I think she means she can shit in a litter box because man she can’t sing. Thank God they dumped her. She actually is the perfect example of what San Francisco is all about. A talent less wannabee who is way too impressed with itself. She is from Frisco and let’s hopes she leaves her twat there.

Next up is a gay theatre dude who has the pipes because he has been on stage since he was three. He sings Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody which makes three kinds of statements. Good for him. He will get through to the final twenty four but I don’t know if he will go further. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Hee, hee.

Somewhere in there I missed the girl who had all this research and stuff and couldn’t sing for crap but manages to insult all of the judges. Now her I liked.

Finally we have another one of these sad stories of a musician dude who can’t have a girlfriend because he has to take care of his mother who is an Annie Lennox impersonator who gets seizures. I thought that was the whole point of an Annie Lennox impersonation. Anyway they put him through even though he was no great shakes. To get through to the next round he will have to have his family hold a kitten hostage or something. But they need about 200 people for the Hollywood round and it is good filler so he made it to the next round.

Lets hope tonight is better.