I am getting pretty sure that I am allergic to dairy products. Whenever I have ice cream I start to cough like Doc Holiday. I never drink milk normaly. I take my coffee black. I like ice cream but I can live without it. So by staying away from it and taking my medicine I have been feeling better.
But Tuesday night I started coughing like I could spit out a lung. The wife goes "what did you eat stupid that got you this way." I go "Nothing bad I swear. Chorizo and yucca. Filet mignon. Rice and beans. Some cocktails but not White Russians. Oh and I had the Flan." "FLAN YOU IDIOT! THEY MAKE THAT WITH MILK! NO WONDER YOU ARE FULL OF FLEM!"
I am afraid I had the Flan of Flem.
I am so stupid sometimes.
30 comments:
TY the Flan Flem Guy
Odd that "flemming" never caught on as slang for whatcher tawkin bout.
Stay away from the Three Leeches cake, too.
Phlegm. Pulease!
It's made with condensed evaporated milk though. That's usually okay for people with milk issues. Something to do with the heating, I think it is.
Maybe you're just allergic to alcoholic beverages.
No seriously--I had to stop drinking totally because after about half a drink my head would start to pound, my pulse would race and I'd generally feel like hammered hell.
Are you lachrymose intolerant?
What's green and skates?
Peggy Phlegm.
What's green and practices medicine on TV?
Mucous Welby, M.D.
How do they fill up the Olympic swimming pools?
Mark Spits.
You may think it's mucous, but it's snot.
~~~~~
I now return you to your century. Thanks for visiting the mid-70s with my way-back juvenile humor machine.
There are ways to test if you are allergic or lactose intolerant or if you are gluten intolerant. Instead of trial and error and jacking your diet all around, why don't you go to a doctor and get tested and see if that really is the problem.
I'm slightly lactose intolerant, but if the milk is cooked or processed it isn't an issue because the offending substance in milk has been changed. So milk is out. Big deal I hate the stuff anyway. Most cheeses are ok. Yay. Cheese!!! Ice cream. Evaporated milk.
I used to wake up every morning coughing my lungs out like a three pack a day smoker. Often in the middle of the night I would have these horrible coughing fits that would drive the Dumbplumber to sleep in the guest room. I don't smoke cigarettes, never have. The culprit.......the down pillows on the bed. I am allergic to the feather pillows and ESPECIALLY the dust mites that thrive in the pillows. Got new hypo allergic pillows and haven't had a coughing spell since.
How about all that dust you ate at the fabric store?
Stick with lemoncellos or strega after dinner.
How about all that dust you ate at the fabric store?
You think Troop is allergic to faerie dust?
Ruth Anne is more fluent in punish than I.
Ruth Anne, Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate[8] 9. That takes you back to 5th grade in your magic time machine.
Our Chinese acupuncturist said everyone should cut dairy out, or drastically reduce it. Being in the Dairy State, dairy products are sacramental, so it's really tough here.
RAA - I was going to go with the skating joke but thought better of it. Make of that what you will. ;^)
As for the swimming pool joke - THAT'S NOT FUNNY! I used to swim at the Santa Clara Swim Center, where Mark Spitz trained and now I am kind of grossed out.
You know how delicate I am. Please show some restraint around here - this is a respectable joint!
For me it started with lactose, but now I am just generally intolerant.
Troop, I honestly don't get why you enjoy all the cheese you eat if you're lactose intolerant.
how not why. ugh
E. P. now Tonto!
Enuf out of you, fail pace
Hey Troop, the Snank-eeezzz are coming to my home town. Come on buy and I can get you a seat right next to mine so I can see you eat a ball park Weiner.
Chickie:
I live to punish you.
Do you know what language they speak in Belgium?
Some folks might say Phlegmish. But it's Belch.
Do they use a Francophone to make calls?
Is that the Padres Meth?
I remember when we played you in the Series?
I think we swept you as I recall?
Get your broom out.
Hock a loogie.
Do they use a Francophone to make calls?
No but it's a little known fact that "call and response" originated in the Belchin' Congo.
Funny you should mention that, E. P. - I learned a lot of West African music and even some from the Congo. Call and response is huge.
Is huge.
Whoa, RAA. Those do take me back!
I have an allergy to milk. Lactose really, so it's in just about every dairy product.
Last June I was at a Peace Officer Memorial Dinner Ceremony. Like an idiot, I ate the ice cream dessert. I started coughing and hacking, which was pretty embarrassing because I was seated behind Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clark and a couple of his deputies.
They turned around to see if I was okay, just as I let out with a huge hacking cough.
I snot the Sheriff, but I did not snot the deputy.
Trooper York said...
Is that the Padres Meth?
I remember when we played you in the Series?
I think we swept you as I recall?
Get your broom out.
Oh, I got yer broom and I'm riding it to the park. YEEE-FUCKING-HAWWWW!!!
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