Friday, June 12, 2009

Diamonds are a girls best friend, the next generation.


(Yankee batting practice, Yankee Stadium, Derek Jeter just steps out of the batting cage)
Jorge Posada: Hey Jeter come over here.
Derek Jeter: What’s up dawg?
Jorge Posada: Rudy wants to talk to you.
Rudy Giuliani: Hey Derek I want you to meet someone. This is Governor Sarah Palin with her daughter Willow and their cousin Chris.
Derek Jeter: Nice to meet you Governor. Hey guys are you Yankee Fans.
Willow and Chris: Yes sir.
Derek Jeter: Well let me get you guys a couple of autographed balls and maybe a couple of autographed bats.
Governor Sarah Palin: Thank you Mr. Jeter.
Derek Jeter: You can call me Derek, Governor.
Governor Sarah Palin: Thanks Derek. The girls are big fans of yours. They love the Yankees. We used to watch you in the World Series all the time.
Derek Jeter: Ouch Governor. It has been a while. But you can’t win them all. You know something about that don’t you? Say do you guys know the three most important things about being a Yankee Fan?
Willow: Yes it’s great to be young and a Yankee.
Chris: It’s not over till it’s over.
Governor Sarah Palin: Boston Sucks. Especially the Kennedy’s.
Derek Jeter: Hey you guys really are fans.
(A-Rod comes running out of the dugout)
Willow and Chris: Hey Mr. Rodriquez can we have an autograph.
A-Rod: Fuck off kids your mother is too Republican.
Jorge Posada: (under his breath) what an asshole… (In a normal voice) Ah don’t pay attention to him guys, he is a little upset because he hasn’t been feeling well. He hurt his hip. I think he caught it from Madonna. All those old people have problems with their hips. Plus he only like old women who had lot’s of plastic surgery. So don’t take it personal. He would be all over you if you were Nancy Pelosi.
Derek Jeter: Sorry about that Governor. I hope you don’t hold it against the Yankees?
Governor Sarah Palin: Never Derek. I have always been a big time Yankees fan.
Derek Jeter: Well there is one good thing.
Governor Sarah Palin: What’s that?
Derek Jeter: A-Rod’s divorce should be coming up soon. I think the Judge that’s hearing it is a Republican.
Governor Sarah Palin: Great idea Derek. Can I leave the girls with you for a minute; I have to make a few calls.
Derek Jeter: Sure thing Governor. Com’on girls. Let me introduce to some super Models. They are all sitting in my private box and I bet they would be glad to talk to you. We can even give Heidi Klum a hotfoot. Her bazonka’s are so big she can’t see her feet.
Willow and Chris: Cool

10 comments:

Simon said...

"Derek Jeter: A-Rod’s divorce should be coming up soon. I think the Judge that’s hearing it is a Republican."

I have often drawn great comfort from the knowledge that what goes around usually comes around in the end.

Trooper York said...

Amen to that.

Nice to see you brother.

blake said...

I'm confused by all this. Not so much your story, but the A-Rod stuff. I mean, I don't get why Letterman's joke was supposed to be funny.

I mean, sure, statutory rape--or just plain old sexual promiscuity is always hilarious, and raping Republicans good for a belly laugh, but why A-Rod?

Ralph L said...

I'll bet A-Rod isn't a flaming lefty when tax time comes around.

Ron said...

If Sarah Palin had married Derek Jeter, she'd be like, Queen, now or something.

Darcy said...

She's just so hot that even some men are jealous, I guess.

Really bizarre to watch Letterman through this obsession, though. He needs to get some professional help, I think. ;-)

ricpic said...

Darcy's right about how hot Sarah is. Though, being an old coot, I can't say hot without wincing. I'm really stunned by how attractive Palin is everytime I see a new picture of her.

blake said...

Darcy,

Check out pix of Letterman's wife. All will become clear.

Darcy said...

You're an "old coot", ricpic? Aww. I don't believe it.

Darcy said...

And lol, Blake. Trooper posted a pic of her(?).