Diamonds are a girls best friend

Toot’s Shors Saloon, August 15, 1956
(Ted Williams and Johnny Pesky walk in after a Yankee, Red Sox game)
Toots: Hey Ted howz ya doin kid. To bad the Yanks kicked your ass today.
Ted Williams: Fuck you, you stupid jewboy get us a fuckin table before I pound you one.
Toots: How many times do I have to tell you I don’t like that kinda talk in here you ignorant meathead?
Ted Williams: What do I care you sheeny bastard. Just get me a table before I have my boy Pesky here give you a knuckle sandwich.
Johnny Pesky: Can I Ted, can I, I can do it Ted, I swear I can, let me at him, I’ll pulverize him.
Toots Shore: Shut up you midget fuck before I step on you and squish you like the bughouse cockroach that you are. Jeez why are all you Red Sox guys such assholes. Com’on there’s some people in the back you might want to say hello to!
(Toots walks them to the back where Joe DiMaggio and Marilyn Monroe are sitting at a banquet. Joe is wearing two World Series rings. Marilyn is not wearing any panties)
Toots: Joe look who’s here. It’s Ted and his shoe shine boy.
Joe DiMaggio:
Marilyn: (in a breathy sexy voice) Hi Ted. Nice to meet ya. (She stands up and extends her hand shyly and shakes with Ted, she nods at Pesky)
Ted Williams: Nice to meet you too. What are you doing with this lousy Dago! You can do a lot better doll!
Johnny Pesky (hopping around like a Chihuahua with a chili pepper up its ass)
Yes you could Miss Monroe, yes you could….Ted is the greatest…the best ballplayer in the world.
Joe DiMaggio: (takes off one of his world series rings and starts to shine it with a napkin, he looks up and smiles)
Toots: Hey lets siddown and have a couple of pops.
Marilyn: That sounds like fun. (Marilyn sits down opposite Ted, and as she does her legs are slightly open. She is not wearing any underwear) So Ted you have a very large head do you know that? I love good head.
Toots Shor: Blleeaaaahhhh (spits out his drink he’s laughing so hard)
Marilyn: What’s so funny Toots? Why is he laughing so hard Joe?
Joe DiMaggio:
Ted Williams: Thanks Marilyn. I like good head too.
Johnny Pesky: (whispers under his breath) She ain’t got any underwear on Ted, nothing I swear, look it looks like a guy with a beard eating a piece of liver.
Marilyn: No wonder they call you Pesky. Joe they are starting to bore me.
Joe DiMaggio: (looks over to another table where Frankie Carbo is sitting with a few of the boys) Frankie?
Toots: Oh shit Joe, no trouble please.
(Four of Carbos guys grab the two Red Sox players by the arms and give them the bums rush out the door)
Ted Williams: I get you for this you fucking wop bastard…you too you dirty hebe ……hey take it easy.
Marilyn: Don’t hurt his head; it might be only thing he is going to have left someday. Hee.