God bless America

You ruined the video

Bad Battery

Bad Patient You!

The Last Destination Hospital

Stress my ass out bitches.

Tester

We are finally doing tests tomorrow to get the show on the road. Lets find out what's happening!

I want to go home.

Dumper

One of the though east parts of this crap is......well.....crap.

I got a lot of vistors the last two days. Basiclly they babysat me while Lisa ran around doing errands. There as my best friend Vito, my upstairs neighbor, our great friends Amy and chuck and a famous TV personality. They all sat with me and most of the time i was waiting to take a dump in the potty.

Being sick is no fun.

Thinner

I would like to post but I feel kind of shitty.

They gave me blood thinners and that shit knocked me out. I slept most of the day.

Thank God I missed the giants game.

I don't know if the wife is gonna wanna sleep with Hannibal Lecter?

We kind of found out the whole problem or a big part of my problem was sleep apnea. That's where you tongue covers your airway when you sleep and you labor to breathe. I have been coughing and not breathing as my airway was blocked.

So they hooked me up with this giant machine that I have to wear when I sleep. It shoots pure oxygen into you in big doses. I thought I would have a problem but I didn't. I slept like a baby and had the best sleep I have had in years.

It's funny. The only time I had a good sleep was when II got smashed. Alcohol serves as a relaxant and keeps your airway open. So I told Lisa why not let just got to bed drunk every night It would work just as good as the machine and she wouldn't have to sleep with a guy who looks like Hannibal Lecter.

She wouldn't go for it.

So I will be wearing a mask to bed. Like Zorro or something. Jeeez.

Thanks to everyone for their concern

I want to thank everyone for their kind words and concern. It is really touching that some many of you knuckleheads would say and do such nice things.

Lisa and I loved the edible arrangement. Special thanks to the great Nick Spinelli for thinking of it and handlliing the details and all of you who chipped in. It was beautiful.

I am still tacky and am waiting for my heart to turn over. Of course my cardio guy is away and won't be back till Monday. They are stabilizing me with medicine and I have to wait it out over the weekend.

The fucking Giantss better win this Sunday. I don't think my ticket can take it. The bastards,,

Happy birthday from the nurses at LICH

They are a special group of people. Especially the night group.

I had better days

On a positive note.....a surly black man stuck his finger up my asshole.

I hate when I feel like Doc Holliday

I don't know if I will be posting a lot today?

I haven't been feeling well and I couldn't sleep last night. So I am up at the crack of 8am to comment.
That really sucks. I like to get up at the crack of noon on my day off which is Tuesday. Like the Crack Emcee I like colored people time you know what I mean?

I have been coughing a lot and have a little shortness of breath. My doctor assures me it is allergies but he is a quack so I am going to a specialist. It feels like I am underwater and I am trying to breath. Plus I have a back ache from straining it with the coughing. Lisa is yelling at me to get better so I have to take care of it.

I wish I was back in the actual water where losing your breath is part of the deal.

Poor Lem

I went back and read the first few posts at TOOP and I had to laugh. The posturing and the posing by various people is a sight to behold. This all happened at the beginning of July and now it is the end of September. Various people who were behind he concept be they commenters or contributors are in the wind. I have a very good bullshit detector and let me say that most of them didn't fool me. They might have fooled some of the people but you should be able to realize by know who is a worthless  loser.

I think Lem has found his feet and is doing good work. Chickie, Little Debbie and Chip Ahoy have been consistently good. I go there every day to see what's new. To me that is the sign of a good blog.

I hope we can give them some support with our comments.

I hate Swedish People

So it's the end of a tough day. We were slow so we set up all the lighting to take new shots for the website. We need to get hits and orders when things are slow in the store. All of the sudden a car pulls up in front of the store. A bunch of people get out. Look one of them is a plus size girl. Maybe they are coming to the store.

Yes they are.

They were from Sweden and had seen us on TV. So we thought "Great we can make some sales." We hustle to put all the lights and the cameras and the background away so they can go through the store. Then is starts. "I don't wear dresses." "These tops are too short." "I don' t like big prints and I don't like small  prints...I have to see the prints and all of the prints you have I don't like."

I thought Lisa's head was gonna explode.

Sometimes that's how it goes. You have someone you can help but they won't listen. They know what they know and that's it. So we just went back to working on other stuff and stopped engaging with them. They left after half an hour and didn't buy anything. They came all the way from Sweden but couldn't find anything to try on let alone buy.

Go find a store with reindeer sweaters you herring sucking low lifes.

Hey Trent Tucker...either you shrunk or I got taller.

Or this guy I met on the cruise was not ex-Knick Trent Tucker. Just sayn'

Oh and by the way here is the real Trent Tucker:

Is he the new cafeteria Pope?

I really didn't like the spin that Father Chris put on the Pope's interview today at Mass. He emphasized how we can't just go by the rules but we have to look for something more. Then in the next breath he talked about how the collections are down and we need to get more money for the upkeep of the church.

All of this while the church was packed. Not because people were coming because they wanted to go to church on a beautiful fall day. No there were five kids getting baptisms. So all these knuckleheads show up and talk through the Mass and don't pay attention to what is going on. Are these the ones we need to look for when we are looking for something more than just the "rules." Maybe if there was a rule that you had to go to Mass on Sunday things would be looking up for the Church. Maybe if they enforced the rules Catholic politicians wouldn't be so quick to support abortion. Maybe if they enforced the rules we wouldn't be in the shape we are in. If you stand for everything you stand for nothing.

I really hope that Pope Francis was misinterpreted or mistranslated or something. Because if continues in this vein the church could lose even more people than left because of Pope John  XXIII.

We all come with a lot of baggage

I blog to publish my own writing, and I include comments as a way for me to interact with readers and to amplify and get different angles on things I want to talk about. I'm not about devoting my work to maintaining a social media website for people who don't care about what I'm writing. That's the enterprise of people like Denton who are designing a mechanism for making a lot of money. As an individual expressing myself — with the long-time motto "To live freely in writing" — I am more like the commenters upon whom Gawker is leveraging its Kinja scheme


But we still have to put up with each other. That is what normal people do. Otherwise you would never talk to anyone and all you would do is rent dogs and take photo's of absolutely nothing.

The answer to ugly out of control comment sections.

Speaking of a pile of shit here is a quote from the Nutty Perfessor:

"I've had a big struggle, peaking over the summer, with the problem of "illegible conversation," as problem commenters maliciously disrupt what might otherwise be a readable comments section. Now, I don't know that the Kinja solution will work. It might empower some of the most disruptive commenters, as they go off topic to entertain and win admirers for some agenda or style of comedy or edgy satire who'll relocate to their Kinja page. But Denton just wants you within the Gawker media empire, and not off on Twitter or Facebook, because he wants the page views in his operation, where he gets the ad revenue. The situation for a blogger is different.

I blog to publish my own writing, and I include comments as a way for me to interact with readers and to amplify and get different angles on things I want to talk about. I'm not about devoting my work to maintaining a social media website for people who don't care about what I'm writing. That's the enterprise of people like Denton who are designing a mechanism for making a lot of money. As an individual expressing myself — with the long-time motto "To live freely in writing" — I am more like the commenters upon whom Gawker is leveraging its Kinja scheme."

So all you problem commenters will have to handle you social interaction so other way. With friends and family as most of us do.

It just gets funnier and funnier.

Don't ask!

I am not talking about the Giants.

Whose that girl?

She  had something in common with Marilyn Monroe and Marilyn Michaels which is about as different as you can get. But she made hay while the sun shined. Her daughter later went on to be a famous TV chef and talk show host.

Whose that girl?

Camel Toe Corner

 

 

Khloe Kardashian is still getting over Lamar. She is just not getting over her camel toe. Jeez.

She is definitely a dude!

 

Whose that girl?

She is a friend of Sixty Grit so he can't guess. But the rest of you can take a shot. A lot of dudes have taken a shot at one time or another.

She's so hot she has to dip her twat in the fountain to cool down. She was one hot piece of ass. The only problem was that while doing the deed she used to yell out the same stuff as Mr. Ed. What's up with that?

Whose that girl?

"I am in for a Third."

Gale Sayers: [accepting the George S. Halas award] I'd like to tell you about a guy I used to know, a friend of mine. His name is Brian Piccolo. And he had the heart of a giant, and that rare form of courage that allows him to kid himself and his opponent, cancer. He had a mental attitude that makes me proud to have a friend who spells out the world 'courage,' 24 hours a day, every day of his life. Now you honor me by giving me this award. But I say to you here now Brian Piccolo is the man who deserves the George S. Halas award. It is mine tonight... and Brian Piccolo's tomorrow. Unless of course you realize that my concussions entitle me to a motherfucking big payday. On second thought what do I give a shit about some ignorant cracker who died fifty years ago. So fuck Brian Piccolo and his cancer bullshit. That's old news.
[Theme "Money" begins to play]
Gale Sayers: I love Brian Piccolo. But I love money more. I want more money. And I'd like all of you to love money too. And so tonight, when you hit your knees, please ask God to let me win my lawsuit. I am in for a third.

Marilyn's Diary

I miss my Uncle Herman. Especially his penis.

It was detachable and he used to lend it to me overnight. You see when the family physician Dr. Frankenstein built Uncle Herman he had to use spare parts. So every once in a while something would wear out. Then Uncle Herman had to consult Grand Pa.

You see Grand Pa knows a lot about penises. He said studying them was his life work. So everyone once in a while Uncle Herman would have him look at and maybe take it into his workshop to give it a tune up.

There was only one strange thing.

It always came back brown.

They really have to get a life

So the Nutty Perfessor and Leisure Suit Larry put up a post that refers to a thread where Palladian and I posted comments. It is pretty funny. They love to say how we can't leave them alone but every couple of days they have to come over to TOOP to drop a turd as Fiona or refer to us in some way. Someone emailed a link to this thread and when I went over there I had a good idea. I followed the links to various threads and deleted my comments. It was pretty amusing to see all of the people who don't post there that were in those threads. If everyone deleted their comments there would be about two comments per thread. Bissage and Titus. Heh.

It is particularly heartwarming that Inga is their favorite commenter these days. You have to laugh.

You know you want my sausage.....admit it!

You can even have some potatoes with it bitches.

This is just about one of my all time favorite meals.

Zuchinni Sticks

Here are some zucchini sticks we made a couple of weeks ago. I had previously posted it on Instagram but I finally figured out how to put it on the blog.

Hey it's time for Thai food!

A little promotional video I did for Nine D Thai food for instagram.

The first time we went there Amy the owner came out and introduced herself and was very happy to see us. She kept going "I LUV FAT PEOPLE!!! FAT PEOPLE HAVE BIG BELLIES!!! THEY EAT SO MUCH!!!!! I LOVE FAT PEOPLE!"

Lisa was going to slug her until we found out her English was not too good. She became a very good friend who comes to our Christmas Party and gets drunk out of her face.

We asked her how things were at home in Thailand. She said " It very bad. All the Thai people are farting."

Lisa turned to me and I said "She means fighting." "Oh that makes sense."

Waves......

It was so peaceful with a glass of wine on the back of the ship as it steamed to the Caribbean.

Whose that girl?

She liked her cigs but she likes her bunnies more. A blast from the past you just surrender to her charms.

Keep pointing those at me baby.

Whose that girl?

Panda sex with Charles Bukowski

she was hot, she was so hot
I didn't want anybody else to have her,
and if I didn't get home on time
she'd be gone, and I couldn't bear that-
I'd go mad. . .
it was foolish I know, childish,
but I was caught in it, I was caught.
I delivered all the mail
and then Henderson put me on the night pickup run
in an old army truck,
the damn thing began to heat halfway through the run
and the night went on
me thinking about my hot Miriam
and jumping in and out of the truck
filling mailsacks
the engine continuing to heat up
the temperature needle was at the top
HOT HOT
like Miriam.
leaped in and out
3 more pickups and into the station
I'd be, my car
waiting to get me to Miriam who sat on my blue couch
with scotch on the rocks
crossing her legs and swinging her ankles
like she did,
2 more stops. . .
the truck stalled at a traffic light, it was hell
kicking it over
again. . .
I had to be home by 8,8 was the deadline for Miriam.
I made the last pickup and the truck stalled at a signal
1/2 block from the station. . .
it wouldn't start, it couldn't start. . .
I locked the doors, pulled the key and ran down to the
station. . .
I threw the keys down. . .signed out. . .
your goddamned truck is stalled at the signal,
I shouted,
Pico and Western. . .
. . .I ran down the hall,put the key into the door,
opened it. . .her drinking glass was there, and a note:

The Summer of Boo Boo

Brother Bear really went off the rails when the new family moved into Jellystone. They were mixed. They said they were Chinese but they didn't look yellow. They were half white and half black. Sort of like Puerto Ricans. Maybe they thought being Chinese was better or something..

Brother started hanging out with them. The girl Ling Ling was a real tease. She used to read Charles Bukowski poems and finger herself in front of him but she never let him touch her. It just made him crazier than ever.

So he decided to take things into his own hands. I mean he always had his thing in his hand but now he decided to get revenge against all women. So he went looking for white girls with dark hair. It was his compulsion. It was the Summer of Boo Boo.

 (Stan and Jan Berenstain "Son of Boo Boo", The E True Hollywood Story of the Berenstain Bears)

Boy Jill Zarin will do anything to get on TV

I mean most of the Housewives have plastic surgery to get on the show but this is pretty radical.

I think Bethany getting her own show has really burned her ass.

Is the Pope Catholic?

There is a lot of speculation about Pope Francis and his latest proclamations about gays and abortion.
It seems that all of the usual suspects are trumpeting that this signals that there is going to be a change on the church's stance on abortion or gay marriage. Nothing could be further from the truth. The Pope want's to be more inclusive. To welcome people who strayed back into the church. He is not changing anything. He is just restating the old bromide of "reject the sin but not the sinner."

There will be a lot of wild speculation and nonsense for the next few days. The usual suspects will gloat and tell us that the church is changing. Well guess what? It's not.

I think the Pope made a mistake stating it this way. Now he is infallible in the matter of interpreting matters of doctrine. He did not change any doctrine. He just wanted to be more welcoming.

We have to see how this plays out in the wider scheme of things.

To to take a well deserved rest

It is time for John McCain to sit on the porch and rest. He has done enough. For the country. To the country. It is time for him to get in his rockin' chair and get under a blanket and rest.

Please. Give it a rest Senator. Enough is enough.

End of summer calls for cocktails

We went for some cocktails the other day after a long meeting on our day off. It was empty at Marco Polo at 5pm. Well not really empty. There was a big table of people having a meeting so we sat off in the corner in the window.

We ordered cocktails before dinner as usual. Then Demi the waiter brought us over  a "Spiked" ice which is one of your old fashioned ices spiked with liquor. This one had Campari and vodka. It was pretty damn good.

We just had appetizers. Some hot stuff like mushrooms and eggplant. And of course the mozzarella special. Just right.

Whose that disfigured girl?

 

 

Dry wrinkly leather salamander skin. Formerly hung around with a hooker you just can't put a Spin on it.

Whose that disfigured girl.

Camel Toe Corner Canadian Division

O Camel Toe!
Our twat and native state!
True monkey love in all thy thighs command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True Slot strong and free!
From far and wide,
O Camel Toe we stand on guard for thee.
God keep our twat glorious and free!
O Camel, we stand on guard for thee.
O Camel, we stand on guard for thee

Oh GI JOE I HEAR YOU WIN BIG!

Oh GI Joe. I hear someone win powerball in Carolina. Is it you big man? If you have tickee I take off my shirtee. And everything else. I love you long time. You call me big boy. I love you GI Joe. You can use your Kung Fu grip on my kitty. I love that. I love you long time. Call me!

Garage Mahal's Road Kill Korner

I finally heard from our old friend Garage Mahal. He hasn't been posting much these days as he has been very busy. But he sent me this photo. He called it his favorite "beaver shot."

I don't think he knows what that means.

Camel Toe Corner: It's getting Nippy down there!

Hi GI Joe! Me likey you USA! I come to you in America and be you fucky fucky girl. Just write to me Mr. Sixty. I love the woods. The big wood. Me love you long time.

Gratuitous Bathtub Photo....why Crack's Back hurts so bad

It's the man's diet. Have a fucking vegetable once in a while. I mean nobody loves donuts more than me but you got to rethink it buddy.

Whose that girl with Andrew Sullivans beagle

She was married to a one eyed guy and it was not Sammy Davis Jr. She had the same job as Grace Slick for a while but now unfortunately she is in prison.

Whose that girl?

Whose that girl that chickie mentioned.

In fact I don't know if it is the same girl but she is in the same category. Whose that girl that we rubbed one out to back in the day?

Sleepy Hollow seems like a pretty cool show

I caught the pilot of the new Fox show "Sleepy Hollow" and it seemed pretty cool. Good set up and the visuals are stunning. A very decent start. I want to give it a chance to see how it develops.

Once upon a time

It is really disheartening when you have to deal with the aftermath of Althouse at Lem's blog. Fucking Meade left some nasty shit at the JD Salinger thread about the church that made me pen a response but then I deleted it. It is quite pleasant when they are not around and when ever they show up it goes downhill fast.

Fiona is another whole kettle of fish. It is obviously one of the Althouse crew. Either Althouse herself or her son or more likely Inga as you have speculated.

It is pretty funny that Inga has become such a vital and valued member of the Althouse family. I can't wait until she turns on them as she invariably will. That is gonna be fun.

Making Macaroni 3

Making Macaroni 2

Making Macaroni

The belly to belly summit

It's pretty funny when you meet someone in person because they often are totally different than what you expected. When Nick Spinelli walked in I was expecting Lou Costello but he had more of a Sean Connery vibe. Nick and his lovely wife Leslyn joined us for dinner at Marco Polo.

We met at the store and we showed our sizzle reel so they could get an idea of the show we wanted to do instead of what we ended up doing. Then we closed up the store and walked across the street to Marco Polo.

We hadn't been back since our vacation so everybody in the joint had to come over and say hello at one time or another during the night.

We stated with cocktails before dinner as we perused the menu. I did what I normally do which is order off the menu. We ordered a mixed platter of meats and cheeses. Soppressata, prosciutto and speck with grana panda, ricotta salada and provolone. Figs, olives, walnuts and honey.

 

 



Then we did a mixed hot appetizer. Mozzarella en carozza , eggplant rollatini and stuffed mushrooms.

 

Of course we switched to wine and enjoyed a nice Malbac with went down very smoothly with all of the food. The girls enjoyed the wine. It made everything nice and blurry.  Heh.

 

I like to order the appetizers because I want what I want so we can go off the menu. But everyone picked their own main courses.  I recommended the wine fettuccine made in the cheese wheel and Leslyn decided to give that a shot. They do a big presentation where the cook the pasta on a little cart. They shave cheese out of the giant cheese wheel making a bunch of shredded pieces. Then they put the cooked pasta in the wheel and mush it around until it as cheesy as Wisconsin on a summer day. I told our favorite waiter Jay to not let me down and do it right. I think he did a good job.

Now the veal chop is very tasty but Lisa loves it parmigiana style with sauce and mozzarella. Nick opted to try it as he said he had not had veal for a while. Both dishes came out and just looked delicious.

I went for the tried and true cavatelli with the hot spicy sausages and roasted tomato. Good stuff.

We sat and talked and laughed and told stories as people came and went. We closed the joint. Off course we went off to the bar for a nightcap and to say hello to Tony the Bartender who was back from his vacation in Brazil.  We said goodbye in the cold air outside because somehow the weather had turned a little chilly.

Nick and Lesyln were back on the road the next day and Lisa and I were back in the store.

The belly to belly summit was a great success. We missed youse guys. Hopefully someday we can all get together and share some veal parmigiana.

 



Just to whet your appetite.

More to come.

Still throwing up.

See ya tomorrow.

The real reason I am not allowed to rock climb.

I bet you can figure it out.

Yeah right!

Sure I am gonna go rock climbing on my vacation.

That's not how I get my rocks off so to speak.

Ain't happening. It wouldn't be prudent.

Sixty Grit said..If that's in reference to the Spinelli meet-up, then ew!

No that as in reference to my honey.

This is in reference to the meet up. I hope I don't embarrass the wife with my table manners. You see I kind of eat like Fred Flintstone. Just sayn'

All hands on deck!

For the Barbeque. Good stuff. Lo Mein. Chicken pieces. Hot bread. Sausages.

Bet you didn't know they liked to Barbeque on board.

The Shadow of your Smile

One day we walked along the sand, one day in early spring
You held a piper in your hand to mend its broken wing
Now I'll remember many a day and many a lonely mile
The echo of a piper's song, the shadow of her smile

The shadow of your smile, when you are gone
Will color all my dreams and light the dawn
Look into my eyes my love and see
All the lovely things you are to me

Our wistful little star was far too high
A teardrop kissed your lips and so did I
Now when I remember spring, all the joy that love can bring
I will be remembering the shadow of your smile