Trooper York: I had better days

Thursday, September 26, 2013

I had better days

On a positive note.....a surly black man stuck his finger up my asshole.

255 comments:

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Methadras said...: Dust Bunny Queen said...

Well....my doctor story is a bit different. Our guy is basically our age. A Vietnam vet. Country boy. Has a ranch in the area. Family raises cattle and is extremely hands on in dealing with the livestock. Very conservative politically. Used to be my client at my financial practice. (I talked him into buying F at 1.50. Didn't know he was going to buy 50K worth...woo hooo). Has been our GP for about the last 20 years. Wears jeans and sneakers to the office. Cowboy boots outside of the office. Has collectible trucks and old cars and we often talk (or used to be able to) about the cars and his condo in Hawaii for some time before the examination.

He is no nonsense and practical. About 1989, I was having abdominal pains and in the ER. The other people were fretting....did I have an appendicitis attack or should they do tests, how long before the tests came back, maybe it wasn't an appendix...yada yada yada. He came in and whacked me hard on the bottom of my feet as I was lying down(to jar my abdomen) and when it hurt like fucking Hell, he said...yep....appendicitis and we operated. It was septic and about to burst.

Since then, he has diagnosed several things about my husband and myself, and he is not in the least offended if we bring in internet research.

He is quiting general practice at the end of next year....but said...if we need anything call. We can talk medicine and hot rods.

Gonna miss this type of doctor. Instead we get Robbie the Robot and the NSA looking up our asses.

That's the kind of no nonsense doctor I like. You are lucky.; September 27, 2013 at 8:58 PM
Methadras said...: Cody Jarrett said...

how do you keep this straight, Meth?

Head. Must. Not. Explode!!!!

lol. seriously, I've been a metalhead since I was a small child. My parents thought it was a phase. Nope, but one of the reasons I love metal so much is because as a person with synesthasia it hits me in all the right spots, but that's complicated to even get into explaining.; September 27, 2013 at 9:02 PM
Methadras said...: I'm a huge electronica/techno fan as well, and if you thought metal was filled with sub-genres, well, that whole genre of music is just as bad.; September 27, 2013 at 9:05 PM
Methadras said...: Cody Jarrett said...

You mean like Ahab: Divinity of Oceans, Meth?

Yes, the very one. Beautiful music.

Also, their first release in 2006: The Call of the Wretched Sea which started it all. They put out a new album last year called The Giant which is based on Poe's book The Narrative of Arthur Grim Pym of Nantucket. Yeah, I don't know why that one, but it works.; September 27, 2013 at 9:09 PM
Methadras said...: Okay, I think I'm done for the week. Off to my weekend of merriment and avoiding blogs in general. Until I get bored. Cheers to you all and be safe.; September 27, 2013 at 9:12 PM
Cody Jarrett said...: I was actually diggin' the music right up until the vocals started. Something about that style grates on me.

With the music I was expecting a younger, clean powerful Bruce Dickinson.; September 27, 2013 at 9:12 PM
Icepick said...: Yeah, I don't know why that one, but it works.

Because why the fuck not?

Because no one else was going to?

Because they were just the guys to do it?; September 27, 2013 at 9:12 PM
Icepick said...: Sheesh, if we're getting this slap happy here, imagine how Lisa must be doing. I hope she has someone there to help her out.; September 27, 2013 at 9:13 PM
Icepick said...: A cowboy gangster, a disembodied skull, and a kid with a bird shitting on his head walk into a bar....; September 27, 2013 at 9:14 PM
Cody Jarrett said...: which guys, icepick? there are way too many sub conversations going on.; September 27, 2013 at 9:19 PM
Icepick said...: You, me and Cody mostly, but really everyone. We're in hospital waiting room mode: from anger with the doctors to hushed conversations in concerned tone of voice to forced jocularity about anything and nothing.

And not one naked cartoon lady in the whole damned bunch.; September 27, 2013 at 9:22 PM
Michael Haz said...: Sometimes you just have to step back and say "Lucky catch!" and not fret over what may have been missed.

I've had two lucky catches, for which I am very grateful.

Troop had a lucky catch.; September 27, 2013 at 9:24 PM
Michael Haz said...: My doc is a Serb, in his seventies. Wouldn't trade him for anything. Our appointments are strange, though.

"How you feel"?

"Okay, but I think.."

"Your blood work is okay. Drop your pants."

*drops pants*

"Now cough. My roof is bad. You know a roofer?"

"Yeah, I know a good guy. I'll give you his number."

"Okay. Your prostate feels firm. You plant peppers in your garden this year?"

"Hungarian peppers, nice and hot. You still play tennis?"

"Sometimes. You give me the roofers name and I give you some samples. Viagra or Cialis?"

"I don't need....."

"It's okay. They're free. Keep them until later on..."; September 27, 2013 at 9:36 PM
ndspinelli said...: Bridgett, It sounds like you're a Brooklyn girl? Welcome to Trooper's Bar. If you can deal w/ that shithead every day you're our kind of woman.

The Cardiac Kid goes into the hospital and his bar goes all heavy metal overnight. Well, although I'm not a head banger it sure the hell beats Dylan threads!!; September 27, 2013 at 10:20 PM
ndspinelli said...: Bridgette, Firstly, sorry for misspelling your name. But I just read your info. You are someone we need! We're thinking about a gift for Lisa. Maybe a massage, facial, etc. What and where do you think?; September 27, 2013 at 10:24 PM
Trooper York said...: Thanks to everyone for the fruit? Youse guys are the best?

Special thanks to nick for organizing everything.

It is a blessing from God to halve friends like youse guys?; September 27, 2013 at 10:32 PM
Trooper York said...: I just finished some tests? Will be here a while. But I am feeling much better.; September 27, 2013 at 10:33 PM
Icepick said...: It is a blessing from God to halve friends like youse guys?

From death metal to getting chopped in half. What a thread!; September 27, 2013 at 10:35 PM
Icepick said...: But I am feeling much better.

Good. Tell Lisa to get some sleep.; September 27, 2013 at 10:35 PM
Cody Jarrett said...: Geez I wander off down some weird rabbit hole and The Birthday Boy hisself pops in.

Typing on an iPhone, Troop?

Glad to readja.

Hurry back. Things are falling apart without you--Crackers was almost nice to me today.

Get some rest pal.; September 27, 2013 at 10:44 PM
ndspinelli said...: Trooper, I don't text for anyone but Lisa. She can never let my family know. Tell I'm sorry for my poor skills. She is the best, and the person I would want @ my side going through shit like this. The fruit guy thought you were the owner of MSG and Cablevision. What a fuckn' letdown!; September 27, 2013 at 10:45 PM
ndspinelli said...: Were they spelling tests? You failed.; September 27, 2013 at 10:46 PM
ndspinelli said...: I like this Bridgette woman.; September 27, 2013 at 10:46 PM
Cody Jarrett said...: lol @ spinelli.; September 27, 2013 at 10:52 PM
Cody Jarrett said...: well not actually @ him. Just near him.; September 27, 2013 at 10:52 PM
ndspinelli said...: Haz, Serbs are quite taciturn. I got to know some in Chicago.; September 27, 2013 at 10:56 PM
Trooper York said...: I hate iPhones and texting.

But I really hate hospital potties.; September 27, 2013 at 11:07 PM
Trooper York said...: And if I hate that......imagine how the poor girl who has to clean it feels?; September 27, 2013 at 11:08 PM
Cody Jarrett said...: at least you aren't going to the all you can it at La Cantina before you hit the potty. So she's got that in her favor.; September 27, 2013 at 11:11 PM
Trooper York said...: You would think but they keep giving me stool softener?; September 27, 2013 at 11:13 PM
Cody Jarrett said...: I got nothin for that.

Except in a day or so you'll probably run out, yeah?; September 27, 2013 at 11:15 PM
Trooper York said...: I don't know.

All my life people have been telling me that I am full of shit.

I guess now we will find out.; September 27, 2013 at 11:17 PM
Cody Jarrett said...: average person has 5-25 pounds of poop in them.

obviously that goes up if you're a law professor or something.; September 27, 2013 at 11:21 PM
blake said...: Not for long, eh?

Good to see you, Troop.; September 27, 2013 at 11:21 PM
blake said...: Nick--

Nah. All is not well. But she's 23 now and it's been over a year since she's had a seizure, achieved without medical help--well, achieved with negative medical help, really.

A blessing. Also a blessing that the last time she had one, I'd been working out long enough to dive across the room (from a dead sleep) and catch her before her head hit some brick work, with only a bruised hip to show for it.; September 27, 2013 at 11:28 PM
Michael Haz said...: Nice to see you, Troop. Every day is a great day to be alive here on out, ya know?

When do we discuss punk polka?; September 28, 2013 at 12:01 AM
Icepick said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; September 28, 2013 at 12:28 AM
Icepick said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; September 28, 2013 at 12:29 AM
Icepick said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; September 28, 2013 at 12:29 AM
Icepick said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; September 28, 2013 at 12:30 AM
blake said...: TROOP

DISPATCH FROM VBSPURS

MESSAGE FOLLOWS:

Dear Troop, Just heard from dear mutual friends that you are in hospital. I know we haven't kept up much, throughout the years but I have thought of you many times, and fondly. You are part of the good old days of a blog we all shared in common. I send you blessings, and wishes for a full, speedy recovery.

Cheers, Victoria

END TRANSMISSION

(She doesn't have an invite to the blog. Which is weird 'cause I would've sworn I'd seen her here.); September 28, 2013 at 2:25 AM
The Dude said...: Typical Brit - it's in "a" hospital, or in "the" hospital. A girl who went to university should know that. Oops, I meant "a" university.

And what I really meant was "Hi, Victoria, good to hear from you. Now stop roaming and settle down for a bit."

Hey Troop - how you feelin', dude? Ready to break outta dat joint yet?; September 28, 2013 at 6:09 AM
Michael Haz said...: 245!

Wow, look what happens when Troop is ill and turns off comment moderation.

Saturday morning, time for some punk polka by the Dreadnoughts.; September 28, 2013 at 8:54 AM
JamesR said...: Hi Trooper,

Wallflower Jim here. You've got my prayers for a full recovery.

The wife and I just dodged the bullet that got you. Even though we are way younger (only 55). Last weekend she started having chest pains and numbness in her left arm. So the Doc made her go to the ER. They kept her for two days and ran every test under the sun, before kicking her out with a clean bill of health, at least heartwise. But lectured to change her lifestyle due to cholesterol, blood sugar, and blood pressure issues.

Which sucks because she is making me live it too. I really hate raw veggies and fat free, calorie free, "Ranch" dressing dip.

Get well soon. All the best

Jim; September 28, 2013 at 8:55 AM
Evi L. Bloggerlady said...: I am just glad they caught this thing before you lost an o ring or something.; September 28, 2013 at 9:26 AM
ndspinelli said...: JamesR, Great to hear from you. Thanks for the donation, you big ol' lurker you!!; September 28, 2013 at 9:31 AM
ndspinelli said...: Haz, I visited my mother's twin brother a few weeks ago in Vermont. He married a Pollack and they have been into polka for over 50 years. When they took a trip to Poland they were surprised that polka is dying there. There's a polka show once a week on some cable channel that they never miss.; September 28, 2013 at 9:34 AM
ndspinelli said...: JamesR, You just need to eat the veggies and eat good food on the sly. Except always remember, women have better olfactory senses. But some stuff everyone can smell. Remember when Bobby Baccala denied going to White Castle and Junior Soprano said, "I can smell it on ya'."; September 28, 2013 at 9:36 AM
JamesR said...: Nick,

My weakness is pizza. And Jim Beam. Well, I guess I have other food weaknesses too, but those two are near the top. top, not TOP (heh).

As a former TOP lurker, I would pop over here from time to time because ARod's bestest boyfriend would make me laugh with his comments at her place. My heart was broken when he went private. But he was kind and let me in on the secret handshake and password.

The only TOP commenters I ever cared to read are here, and at Lem's place. So life is real good.

By the way, before I go back to being primarily a stalker -- er, I mean lurker, I wanted to say to Palladian -- I had no idea you were such a gifted writer until you started essaying at Lem's. Please don't be deterred by any a-holes who shall be nameless. They don't amount to a hill of beans (you can fit a Casablanca quote into any conversation).

I can't define what "gifted writing" is, but it is like that senator describing porn. I know it when I see it, and you are a pleasure to read.

Now, back to mowing the yard in the S. Florida humidity.

Jim; September 28, 2013 at 10:51 AM
ndspinelli said...: JamesR, Bourbon and pizza are both in my top 10! Hopefully you'll feel comfortable commenting here. If not, we know you'll be reading all our stupid, profane, funny comments. I'm a libertarian, you do what you want. But, this is a place you can feel @ home. It's just an internets neighborhood bar/social club. A combo of the Son's of Italy and Hibernians.; September 28, 2013 at 11:26 AM
JamesR said...: Thanks Nick,

It took Troop getting ill to get me out of my shell. I will plan on commenting every now and then, but I will take it slowly.

A few years ago I got into political pissing contests on a site and it was destructive and not healthy for me. For one, I got so obsessed with the debates it really ate into my work. It became like an addiction. I also lowered myself into anger induced name calling -- with total strangers.

Then a year or so later, the same thing happened on a sports blog of my alma mater. Somehow the topic switched to something political. I think it had to do with global warming.

Some very arrogant female threw out the "science is settled" line you rarely hear anymore these days, and also the "warming deniers are like holocaust deniers" line. I couldn't take the superior tone and put down approach she used with a commenter. So.....it was war -- "to the mattresses" after that. Skeptic is not denying; skeptical as to whether it is man made or can be caused by solar events; the holocaust was in the past, as opposed to computer models trying to predict future weather, etc. etc. I can no longer recall if I called her the "she devil of the SS," (ha) but I'm sure I used worse names.

I achieved absolutely nothing. Lost hours of productivity at work, raised my BP, and gave me no satisfaction whatsoever.

So I swore off of ever becoming a commenter on any blog ever again. But this place is indeed very different. Totally unique, and an absolute breath of fresh air.; September 28, 2013 at 12:07 PM
Evi L. Bloggerlady said...: JamesR, it is not like that here.; September 28, 2013 at 1:10 PM
ndspinelli said...: Jim, We can hook a BP cup to you and have the monitor on the blog. If your BP gets high, you'll be cut off. We have already done that w/ a few.; September 28, 2013 at 4:42 PM
Methadras said...: Bridgette, Firstly, sorry for misspelling your name. But I just read your info. You are someone we need! We're thinking about a gift for Lisa. Maybe a massage, facial, etc.

spinelli, aren't you old enough by now to know that a massage almost always end up in a facial? What the fuck the teach you at private dick school huh?; September 28, 2013 at 6:41 PM
chickelit said...: The Crack Emcee said...
On a positive note.....a surly black man stuck his finger up my asshole.

Bullshit - I was nowhere near you, faggot - just found out:

How you hanging today?

SEPTEMBER 27, 2013 AT 7:27 AM; October 11, 2013 at 1:19 AM

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Thursday, September 26, 2013

I had better days

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